Stripped-down instrumental version: keys & synths/strings

Heavenly Bodies v1

Heavenly Bodies

Hitchcock Blonde

Pan to her glacial gaze in Cinemascope
a du Maurier screenplay and cash-for-blow
this scarlet-lipped saboteur
just dying to be
a Hitchcock blonde.

This sleek missile powers my trajectory
through road grit and railway sheen
recycling dial and cord
all crotch-rocket and suicide doors

All those starlets leave my breath catching.
Slim lines in all those dimlit bars, all bile and gag
All those stars and sapphire ashrams,
all those suicides and all those deities.

Hitchcock Blonde [Original]

Short downtempo track. When Apocalypse comes, when the Reaper comes: let's die on the dancefloor.

Waking Fragments of a Dreamt Life

A tale of ill-fated attraction & lust told from the POV of AI wearable tech

Stasis Flux

Blow Me & Make a Wish

A life spent seek-and-finding you
picking flowers on the moon
biding my time, bound by time
now I'm losing myself in you.

Can I undo this without coming undone?
Or can the moon ever reach the sun?
Stargazer unseen, observatory heart.

Sunbathing on Mars
sparks of you in my heart
this will tear me in two, one day
I'll dissolve in your light.

How can I undo this without coming undone?
Has the moon ever kissed the sun?
I'm a stargazer unseen, an observatory heart.

Stargazer Unseen [Original]

Stargazer Unseen [Extended]

赤く夢を見る [akaku yume o miru]
I dream red: from dungeon leather to disco polyester.

赤く夢を見る | I Dream Red

When nighttime swallows day
when our secret selves stir awake
we seek each other in a shadowscape
Who's the hunter?
Who's the prey?

[surrender to your darkest instinct]

When the head-snap-hip-roll
strips me to my core
When the bit-lip-salt-taste
makes you beg: more, more.

Your breath is heavy on my skin
our circuit closed by hand on hip
your heart's the only beat I hear
your freedom is beneath my grip.

When the sweat-drip-slick-skin
feeds me to my greed
When the open-mouth-cry-out
drowns me in your need.

This is what I crave.
You're the one I crave.

Crave

Ruthless beat pounding through my limbs
blood overheats, it's boiling in my veins
this descent into your scent
ravages my brain.

When Apocalypse dawns, let's die on the dancefloor
When the Reaper comes, I wanna die on the dancefloor.

In the end, there's nothing I will need more
One last time, meet me on the dancefloor.

Merciless bass throbbing 'til I ache
my limbs start to move beyond my control
this descent, I know it's fate
as the rhythm takes my soul.

When your killer inside wakes, kill me on the dancefloor
When your poison takes hold, let me die on the dancefloor.

In the end, there's nothing I will want more
When my time comes, meet me on the dancefloor
One last time, meet me on the dancefloor.

Dead on the Dance Floor [Original]

Text written in October 2024 whilst recovering in the hospital from a lung transplant, taking massive doses of Palladone, which I hallucinated were magical orange bees.

Fly, little orange bee
skyward up, and bring to me
coveted things rare and sweet
bring me a heart and a bite of lung
a drop of nectar from my lover's tongue

Interlude: Little Orange Bee

I remember
when my smile wasn't a lie
I remember
when love was light filling my life like a bright room
I remember
when my desire was answered by feeling desired
I remember
all the things that I've left behind

I still remember happiness
its aftertaste is bitter
as the cold sets in
I remember feeling warmth

I don't know myself anymore
I can't bear this pain anymore

It's not worth trying to tell you
I know you'd never listen
It's not worth trying to leave
I know I couldn't get far

 I still remember laughter
I long to hear it once again
as daylight fades
I remember burning bright

Now in the deepest night
can I stoke those sparks back to life?


Sparks [Original]

Dead on the Dance Floor [Extended]

Elementar: Unterirdisch | Subterranean

City rows of window-glow
like framed pictures of laughter and light
fires blazing, baubles blinding
doors sealed to hold back the night

But here in the ink-black streets
standing with your hand in mine
I could freeze, or thaw in your heat
I could slumber, I could hibernate

Snow sway, I go snow-blind
I don't feel the frost biting my skin
with your lips' press pressing mine


Streetlamps wreathe your face in a halo
you're radiant like an angel
or like a smoldering devil
but I want you all the same

Is this romance or a cautionary tale?
this snowfall in the afterglow
Is it the flash of a blade or the gleam of your eye?
as we tumble to the snow

Snow sway, I go snow-blind
I don't feel the frost biting my skin
with your lips pressed against mine

Snow sway, snow fall
is it the thrill or am I bleeding out?
Is that my blood staining the white snow-
fall
I fall in snowfall

Snow Sway

Unmastered demo version with a different vocal and slightly-different lyrics

City rows of window-glow
like framed snapshots of laughter and light
fires blazing, baubles blinding
doors sealed to hold back the night

But here in the ink-black streets
standing with your hand in mine
I could freeze, or thaw in your heat
I could slumber, I could hibernate

Snow sway, I go snow-blind
I don't feel the frost biting my skin
with your lips pressing mine

Streetlamps wreathe your face in a halo
you're radiant like an angel
or like a smoldering devil
but I want you all the same

Is this romance or a cautionary tale?
this snowfall in the afterglow
a flashing blade or the gleam of your eye?
as we tumble to the snow

Snow sway, I go snow-blind
I don't feel the frost biting my skin
with your lips pressed against mine

Snow sway, snow fall
is it the thrill or am I bleeding out?
Is that my red painting the white
snowfall

Snow Sway [Demo Version]

We die fast, so live faster
Stand tall and reach higher
Fight hard but love harder
Breathe deep, now take it deeper

Dive headlong
jump headfirst
fly cloudward
rise to cloudburst

Life is for the living
rhythm's for the dancers
love is for the giving
music is the answer

We die fast, so live better
chase away your ghosts, run faster
reach deep then plunge deeper
swim the seas, now swim the sky

Dive headlong
jump headfirst
fly cloudward
rise to cloudburst

Life is for the living
rhythm's for the dancers
love is for the giving
music is the answer


Faster

Lay your hand across my brow
keep me cool 'til the fever passes
I want to hear some music
as the stars above us dance

(can you see the darkness?)

Lay your hand upon my throat
be near me when I feel fragile
you could crush the air from me
arrest my condition

(can you see the darkness?)

Can you see the darkness?
can you track its spread
as it pulses beneath my skin
it whispers in my head

Lay your hand upon my chest
I need you to feel my heartbeat
remember I  have a heart
just like you do

(I just wanted to hear some music)

Can you see the darkness?
can you chart its spread
as it pulses beneath my skin
it whispers in my head
I need to hear the music
feel it lift me to the airless sky
I want it to bury me in the heavens
leave me to glow like a star

(can you see the darkness)
(can you hear the darkness)
(can you see the darkness)
(could I be the darkness)

Darkness [Original]

Reawakened| Wiedererweckt | 復活
The Narcissus Effect, bois eat noize ['00-07; '25-]

When I originally shifted to a solo music project, I named it 'The Narcissus Effect', after a phenomenon in infrared imaging, in which a cryo-cooled IR scanner detects itself, resulting in it appearing at the center of the image. It was tech jargon, but also a perfect description of creative life/work.

I quit music due to worsening chronic illness. Over a decade later, after a complicated full-lung transplant in September 2024, I was driven to start again. But major changes had to be made. Whereas I formerly sang, played piano, harpsichord,  synths, trombone, and guitar, and performed live; a surgical error left me with limited fine-motor control in my left hand, and repeated post-transplant diagnostic procedures damaged my vocal chords. I'd used virtual instruments years ago, so a full migration was simple. And using a collection of past vocal recordings, I trained an AI model to reproduce my voice. So when listeners hear my new material, it is the product of an artist in his 40s collaborating with the digital ghost of his 20s/30s self.

The Narcissus Effect

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