A key in a lock...knew,
the wasteland had no end,
but he continued to walk...through,
the straight path never bends,
and the horizon can talk...Q,

(what to do?)

have faith in the ONE...it's true, 
the night devoured the day,
but now we wait for the Sun...to,
drive those fears away,
and there's work to be done...Q.

(What to do?)

Stop on the line and control yourself,
stop on the line and...

hold your ground, 
when all around,
is lying, and trying, 
to drag you down,

And I can't tell what's fake from what is true,
so long I've lived in lies,
but I have hope in my heart...that you,
are more than a disguise,
and that endings could start....Q.

17)Q

Damned, in the middle I'll stay,
wondering who could make it through?

Meet me in the morning,
famished fears adorning,
does a clone have soul?
is it whole?
or a cold synthetic consciousness?
does it know honest bliss?
am I the echo man,
who's light is second hand?

(do this,this, do that, that)

meet me in the morning,
breasted to fair warning,
damned if you do,
damned to feed the gears of Ayl'leeyon,
he knows what sides it's on,
but you see, the traffic head,
has turned from green to red,
nobody knows it's wrong,
think of the side it's on.

nobody knows I'm right,
they're drinking my shadow,
they're drinking my shadow each night,

meet me in the morning,

meet me in the morning,
counterfeit flesh forming,
memory bank damsels debt,
in the amniotic tinker tank,
my mind goes blink or blank,
solvent thoughts go burble-snatch,
right through my serving latch,

nobody knows the yes,
preprogrammed behaviour,
artificial saviour,
they're making a grave for,
me,

My Little Cloney

I'm  not scared,
I'm sitting in my cemetary,
there's no one there,
just me and the plague fairy,

a little bit goes a long way,
a little bit goes a long way

yeah,  goes a bit like this:

I don't, I won't,
cemetary, 
I don't, I won't
plague fairy,

phew, that was close,
cause when they get a hold of your nation state it sounds a bit like this:

SKREEEEE!
ding-dang-ding-dang-dong
Time's running out,

gee, nobody told me they'd let the vampires piss in the lake,

I'm not thirsty,
I'm already drowning horribly,
robots curse me,
and six feet underground is all I see,

it's been that way for a long time,
it's been that way for a long time, 

here I wait and watch the dead end come to life,
plague fairies pressing the push-button eyes,

that you'd do me disservice,
and it's making me nervous,
but somehow i deserve this,
for a bitter past life what occured is,
some demaoguery,
that was me,

gated in star fire, over in me,
get it to stop far away,

and it makes me freak out,
and it sounds something this,

OW! OW!
(guitar solo)

That you'd curse me and damn me,
and you call yourself family,
take a swing if you gotta,
I'm a human pinata,

I'm  not scared,
I'm sitting in my cemetary,
there's no one there,
just me and the plague fairy,

Plague Fairy

an impersonality trait,
I can relate that you can't relate,
and i can live through every note,
you ever wrote,

a song,

I can fit myself in your words,
there is no one else who has heard,
what you hide in the melody,
only for me,

a song,

you're painting my portrait,
in a song of sweet obsession,
the dead end adores it,
a song that sings confession,
and though the fall will rise,
dressed up in dying,
your light house eyes,
shiver and shining,
a song,

you turned your pain into beauty,
now it's always following me,
and even though I'm all on my own,
I'm never alone,

a song,

when the world is all out of reach,
and my brains falls into the breech,
I've got your foot steps,
how they resound,
echoing sound,

a song,

death is no hurtle, 
to a song that gives life meaning,
the flesh has to curdle,
but a song finds you still breathing,
so breath it now through me,
timeless and torment,
a song, that set me free,
if just for a moment,
a song,

A Song

That syringe is a gun,
you're not having fun,
black circle of salt,
it's everybody's fault,

confirmed kill,
with your Fentanyl,
dying soft so slowly again,

so sorry now, you never,
kept it apart together,

goblin gears grind on the foreshadow,
even your veins run away,
snapping snarling,
always blaming everybody else, darling,
of your demented decay,

your mind is a maze,
you've been in there for days,
can't see over the wall,
it's only two feet tall,

it's a sharp curve,
dying self serve,
don't let your life swerve,
off...

Fentanyl

trying to record,
angry mirror of highway traffic,
puts it all to sword,
plague whistle is every third beat now,

trying to count my breath,
and breathe myself to do death,
and romance, give your hand a hand,
broken in the can and the cant's,
and the leave it to chance,

have I ruined the song,
by talking 'bout myself?
have I ruined the song?
I can't blame no one else,
cause the words don't belong.
when they pass a poison cup,
have I ruined the song?
it was supposed to lift you up,

and out and through,
so you could do something I'll never do,
a single touch of my contagious chains,
and now all that's risen,
is a prison,

speeding up my heart,
a frequency to microwave my brain,
I'm feeling sorry for myself again,
but then someone has to,
as they pass through,

loosening my chain,
only so they can yank it back again,
I'll tell it to the tumour in my neck,
hey, how's it going,
please stop growing,

trying to release,
all the pain that's poured upon me,
I can't get no peace,
I can't even pick up the pieces,

trying to relate,
through mirror eyes that ugly the world,
painted by the hate,
where all the colours rot,
into all that they're not,

have I ruined the song?
cause no one wants to hear,
when I ruin the song,
by looking in the mirror,
the reflection is wrong,
I can only close my eyes,
have I ruined the song,
by refusing to speak lies,

that it's okay,
and that all my problems went away,
cause when somebody greets you and they say,
"hey, how you doing?"
the ensuing,
answers supposed to go,
I'm doing good, and Mr.So-and-So,
he doesn't even really want to know,
the question he's asking,
he's just masking,
up in courtesy,
that which he doesn't want to hear from me,
reality's a scary, scary place,
where they'll kill you nightly,
so politely,

Loosh

chains to hold me close,
coldly,
chains hold me,

Our Lady of the Stars,
breath was sweet with condensation,
all that was once ours, 
could become a memory,

once upon a time,
Libby May was mine,
now my artificial thoughts are screaming,
tortured for the crime of dreaming,

saw her on the news,
one hymn with a million voices,
all that they could lose,
i myself lost long ago,

once upon a time,
Libby May was mine, 
now they've locked me in this 
run on sentence,
truth must pay a lie's repentance,

when Libby May was mine,
when Libby May was mine,

saw her in a dream,
a two headed snow white bison,
standing in the seam of a horizon,
it had no end,
once upon a time,
Libby May was mine,

didn't she once keep our faith and show us the way?
sweet Libby May,
beauty is as beauty does,
I know this because,of all that she was,
you'll never know what you have lost,
until you're paying the cost,

hungry chains,
prison brains,
they'll think you in,
to their refrains,
of purchased pains,

Our Lady of the Stars,
push button eyes could not see her,
wasn't she once ours?
when did we give ourselves away?

once upon a time,
Libby May was mine,
machine men, 
programmed to murder,
enslaved ears that haven't heard her say:
only we can dawn the day,

Libby May

Song of Me,
Song of Me,
1,2,3,4,5

only thing that I can tell,
is that I'm not doing so well,

I only see what I want to see,
you know I can't find the way out,
How can I sing the song of me?
I have to drown the day out,
with a musical lobotomy,
to make sure everything stays out,

now the thoughts start to clot,
everything I am, everything I'm not,

a Musical Lobotomy,
a Musical Lobotomy,

only thing that I can feel,
is that I don't know what is real,

the spring can't be like the autumn trees,
and bare it's branches to grey doubt,
the top can't see what the bottom sees,
how can I sing the song of me?
I have to keep the day out,
with a musical lobotomy,
to make sure everything stays out...

A Musical Lobotomy

I've been mostly,
drawn in ghostly,
haunted by each thought that knows me,
ever the never the same,
life is a video game,

where to begin?
when you're 8-bit and lowdown and pixelated,
keeping it in,
but it's not what you thought and you start to hate it,

so sip the screen and mash the buttons,
world held in these arms your cuttin',
you know it's well worth the hate,
and that's why you self mutilate,

standing on the brink,
of your own bottomless pit,
and trying not to think,

once I had my share of lovers,
we always did hate each other,
of course I was never to blame,
I needed someone to feed my pain,

insert coin,
but the closer you're getting the less you know her,
and you can conjoin,
and it's a prayer, and an error, and a new game over,

toggle joystick in her direction,
avoid any real connection,
but I can pretend to pretend,
if you've got a pocket to lend,

she'll be moving to,
the next level like they always do,
it doesn't matter who,
it doesn't matter...

it's just a video game.

VideoGame

There's an admission's box in a dead world,
and a tank where I slither, forwards and back,

I've got no hands with which to hold my own,
but I can taste of the prison they refuse to see,

snicker-snack my tongue is black,
with secrets sweet to tell,
but gawking leers can never hear,
the slavery they sell,

if I lean to the left, I'm caged in,
if I lean to the right, I'm caged in
if I lean over once, I'm caged in
If I lean over twice,

(they pay to see him, in a museum)
stuck inside my cage,
slither, slither,

taxidermy friends in eternal pose,
as if time won't consume them like it already has,

I pray to the heating lamp to keep me sane,
they wanna feed me the gerbils and turn out the lights,

(what would you do, if that was you?)
if that was me, I'd set him free,
I'd let him go, I'd let him be,

that's what I'd do if I was you.

Reptile Zoo

one hundred bees
and they're all friendly,
in the cherry trees,
where I'm pretending
I'm not a jack in the box with a turn crank,
and I'm not gonna pop,
 as soon as the music stops,

in the marmot cave,
under the shed,
I gotta dig a grave,
cause one is dead,
the ground doesn't agree,
it's too rocky,
but you know life's that way,
it gives and takes away,

don't wait for me under the shed,
the ground's rocky and I'll be dead,
ain't gonna turn it around till I'm inside out,
don't wait for me,
don't wait for me,

one hundred bees,
i can hear them humming,
in the cherry trees,
where I'm becoming,
but the phantom sniff,
and the no way out,
and the one breath at a time,
cause I'm still gonna climb,

don't wait for me,
I'm here right now,
with the honesty,
you won't allow,
gotta turn it around till I'm inside out,
don't wait for me,

one hundred bees
and they're all friendly,
in the cherry trees,
where I'm pretending
I'm not a jack in the box with a turn crank,
and I'm not gonna pop,
 as soon as the music stops,

but as for now the music's flowing,
and I don't care just where it's going,
cause the Muse has been sweet upon my breath,
music my pure,
I wait for her...

100 Bees

He's not electric soul to soul,
he's not affected by the state that he stole,
got his walk in the factory farm,
got his talk in the milking machine,
he's not electric if you know what i mean,
I say no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no way,

he'll blame you for his self,
a mucous man who never can relate,
there's mould upon the shelf,
and humpbacks wailing off into the hate,

he's not electric like you,

he's not electric, not at all,
I don't know why they plugged him into that wall,
if he listens, still he won't hear,
if he hears he won't listen that's clear,
he's not electric ear to ear
I say no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no way,

it started when he let,
the dish washer deal with the filth he ate,
next came the t.v set,
to program his personality traits,

he's not electric like you.
                  ...

living without a human relation,
9 years with no sex or masturbation,
will power and sharpened imagination,
sharp enough to cut, my way out of this rut,

I'm okay in the day and I'll stay strong,
I'm not right in the night and I dream on,
a woman to wear my honest love song,
I do, I do,

wasteland words, get me from one place to another
the dead end cries: "dream me back to life before you smother."

break it up, break it down,

cause there's not a single place I belong,
no one cares about my honest love song,
it's true,

tumours are fine if no one can see 'em,
my sickness has become a museum,
hungry is the thought, that's become what it's not,

heart resigned, to never find, what's not there inside me,
i got it wrong, and so I sing the world my honest love song,

sung from my heart,

the earth met the sky, hither and hinter,
she looked so beautiful dressed in Winter,
hold my breath till my heart starts to splinter,
I do, I do,

He's Not Electric/ Honest Love Song

Fate,
got me running for my higher ground, 
but wait,
I'm broken,
and it seems that there's none to be found,
of late,

no leg to stand on now,
things that i can't allow,
to stop me,
drag and drop me,

i can't get it right, i can't get it right, i can't get it right,
for a moment,

i fucked up,
like i always do, I'm kept inside my curse,
and all i can do is make it much, much worse,

my words don't mean a thing,
I'll speak by limping,
forwards slowly,
lost and lonely,

thought I had found higher ground,
but there is none to be found,
when i was falling,
heard it calling,
so mean to me,
thought I had found higher ground,
but there is none, and I am done,
thought I had found higher ground,

Higher Ground

So I've been thinking of,
about how we fall in love,
like it's an endless abyss,
from the first sight to last kiss,

(words are dangerous crawl-inside-you's,
you're a place no one will go)

so I've been falling a lot,
I get tripped up by each thought,
cause I've been thinking of,
about how we fall in love,

and I wonder why no one rises,
and I wonder why no one knows,

there's no such thing as a once upon a time,
but I was singing with a true love of mine,
if love existed how could it cease to be?
where did it go when she turned away from me?
the Sun doesn't have words for "yours" or for "mine",
it stays it's course and it continues to shine,
it doesn't ask for anything in return,
no matter what it just continues to burn,

so I've been shining a bit,
guess I don't know how to quit,
and I've been dimming a lot,
in the darkness that I'm caught,

maybe it's better for all concerned,
we're going to have to swallow our lies,

Bottomless

1. Heel Hook!!!(0:00)
2. Scamdemic (3:01)
3. If a Sake (6:34)
4.Blackboard Soldier (8:32)
5: Ghost in the Cannery (12:36))
6. Why Not?(15:38)
7.Suicycle (18:25)
8. Death(21:40)
9. With a Fearsome Whimper(23:48)
10. Autumn (26:35)
11. I've got no Problems(33:17)
12. Enemy (35:17)
13. Skin Pop it Henry (37:27)
14.Wait Up (39:51)
15. Anusol(41:47)
16. Temper Temper (43:58)
17.Q (46:46)
15. Disease (51:11)

HEEL HOOK!!!

1.Happy Ending (0:00)

It took a long, long, long, long time,
but silence is a friend of mine!
happy ever after! (no such thing as me)
happy ever after! (no such thing as you)
no such thing as you,

so won't you come along with me?
to a place called nullity?
and we'll be befriending,
some kind of happy ending,
no such thing as you

         ...

2.Spring Time(2:08)

She saw, through the birds that wore her winter,
in awe, they don't worry bout a thing,
nature, speaking in her secret language,
state your, purpose in the song you sing,
"the prison of time dissolves our love",

if it's gone then it was never there,
but then what do I know about such things?
not much, beauty wore an angry storm cloud,
don't touch, beauty broke her brittle wings,
"spring brings dead things back to life again,

the seed of every moment, 
blossoming into the greed,
mind bleeds mechanical ferment,
thoughts whored out to their live feed,
trying to avoid the thresher, 
voice of the father confessor,
the only secret I can keep,
happens to be myself,

Spring time, melting is a painful process,
if you once let yourself turn to ice,
they'll say it's schizophrenic psychosis,
if you refuse to roll their loaded dice,
if I live: great, if I die? that's great too,

spring time, I still cannot feel my fingers,
guess that's why I've been so out of touch,
it's fine, frost bite is the kiss that lingers
spring time, too little is much too much,
there'll be no funeral when I'm finally dead,

I'm melting, melting now in pain.
words are welting, ferment of the brain,

water is the soul of man,
and there's two ways he can,
go in this life he's given,
depending  how he's livin',
I'm still trying to walk the path of steam,
though the ice-age wears my every hope and dream,

no more, dead end door, bring it back to life,
you gotta meltdown, in the sound, sharpen your strife,
ice age, turn the page, boring to me,
you gotta outgrow, all you know, why can't you see?

spring time,now we'll see what's buried 'neath the snow,
things that I'd rather forget,
surfacing after sunset,
sentient cycles of abuse,
tie them into a nice noose,

spring time in a place that n one else will go,
under the tundras touch,
under the much too much,
words are just naked sound,
no meaning to be found,
I'm their stranger,
living in a most peculiar danger,
questions answer,
channel number 9's a necromancer,

Nature wrote a song, how did we get it wrong?

I'm still waiting in the frigids of the dark,
do the pine trees feel the cold upon their bark?

   ...

3.Mody and Bind (10:28)

Nature wrote a song, how did we get it wrong?
saying get with the program and throw it all away,
if I speak the truth, am I the one whose wrong?
cause the breath of extinction's on these borrowed words you say,

opinions bought and sold into the mad machine,
they want their slaves to lick it clean,
and now that you've been stabbed with that point of view,
what of me and what of you?

throw away all you were, 
let it out, don't you keep it pure,
throw away all you've been,
let them in, another mad machine,

you never seem to, ever seem to mind,
you don't know where it goes,
so offer up your mody and your bind,
you don't know where it goes,

why can't you hear, my dear?
this world is a weapon,
turn on your mind, to bind,
all the bile we're kept in,
I tell you you're right, you fight,
and still tell me that I'm wrong,

Nature held her child, deep within the wild,
til' we cut off her hands and suckled the machine,
I'm that dead end street, mechanical meat,
crying mother where are you as winter licks my soul,

you don't know where it goes...
you don't know where it goes...
you don't know where it goes...

Happy Ending/Spring Time/Mody and Bind

Where to begin?
when there's purity in each word unspoken,
and sound is a sin,
doing violence to silence that's best unbroken,

blasphemy is a treble cleft,
notes written from the left,
I can't create,
I can only destroy,
a prison cell made out of beauty,
the only way it'll stay with me,
I can't create,
I can only destroy,
so tear it all down,

I can only destroy,

where to begin?
when the ending is sending,
an advance preview,
and all that has been,
is whimsy and flimsy,
completely see through,

I am lost and that's all I've found,
silence caught in the sound,
I can't create,
I can only destroy,
a prison cell made of faith and hope,
I sing the song cause it helps me cope,
I can't create, 
I can only destroy,

so tear it all down.

DESTROY!!!

scorner of the morning,
how i wish you well,
would not take my warning,
6 feet straight to hell,

cause there's a Karma,

there's a karma storm upon the way,
and all the harming that we do or say,
comes back, turns black,
it's the only thing we own,
passed death, last breath,
all the wrong that we condone,
meets us there, crying:
"it's not fair", lying:
I don't care,

I know i have to suffer,
bow my head and smile,
it might make me tougher,
it might be worth while,

cause there's a Karma,

there's karma storm upon the way...

pretending that it isn't me,
gorged on the shame, that is speaking my name,
telling me that I am still just the same,

making music from misery,
taking the blame cause it's making me sane
and all of the things that I won't do again,

all of a sudden my life fell apart,
Karma,
if i can't stop then i should never start,

making my get away,
stuck in the muck with something I can't duck,
digging a grave for me and my bad luck,

it's taking my breath away,
lock it uptight, in the dead of the night,
with all of the things that will second my sight,

making music from misery,

there's a Karma,

the spider too is trapped, within the web he spins,
never can he leave it, feeding on his sins,

cause there's a karma...

cast my shade into the dirt,
and pretend that it doesn't hurt,
until it finally it does,

bow my head and start to sing,
and tell my shadow everything,
that is, will be or was,

except that i just don't know,
and no one else could tell me so,
I've got some blame to give,

who'll accept this gift of fault,
that's brought all progress to a halt,
and teach me how to live?

I can't lie to my Karma.

Karma Storm

Make a nest in my scars!

Gaunt toothed questions,
devour the answers they seek,
suggestion:
I don't wanna speak,

of the stab,
wounds you'll find,
if you tear the scabs,
off my mind,

You're making a nest in my scars!

Bloodletting,
as a spectator sport,
bed wetting,
love child to abort,

3 years in,
that was me,
and my fam,
damn-ily,

Been reaching all my life,
way down here in the black,
I still can't get the knives,
that stick out of my back,

get 'em out!

make a nest,(would you?),a nest in my scars!

Will she, won't she,
make a nest in my scars?
oh probably not,
that's just the way things are,

I'm mutilated,
and I can't connect,
with no social skills,
and no self respect,

you're making a nest in my scars!

danger, danger,
danger, danger on me,
pretty stranger,
as strange as can be,

lumbricus terrestris
dranculus medinensis,

Make A Nest In My Scars

Fix me, 
repair me,
I'm starting to get,
a little scary,
as an opening bet,
at odds and very,
handicapped,
imagine that,

oh, help me,
I'm always in trouble,
trying to burst,
my beelzebubble,
it's a catering curse,
I'm my own stunt double,
for what lies between,
these inaction scenes,

oh...fix me,

pain program winding me up,
like a clockwork beast,
another puzzle,
yearning for the missing peace,
keeping it still,
but my heart, 
it starts to suffocate,
goes where it will,
least until, 
it finds it's much too late,

oh fix me, I'm breaking,
stuck in the state,
I'm forsaking,
a little too late,
so I'm faking,
the plastic smile,
the slurping bile,

oh help me,
the scent of another,
the sky weighs so much,
it's set me to smother,
I'm cold to the touch,
and every other,
tragedy,
no one can see,

oh fix me,
fix me,
fix me,

I'm looking, 
above me,
why don't you?
why don't you love me?
and isn't this hate,
a part of me?
why don't I love myself?
I got no one else,

oh...fix me,

Fix Me

I relapsed again,
you went squirrelly,
jumped on my pain,
I deserve it,
I deserve it,
you could hit me,
you could not,
you're so pretty,
when you're angry,
which is always,
so I thought,
you look so happy now that I'm a ghost,
you look so happy now,

kicked me out in the snow,
(I deserve it)
I got nowhere to go,
I deserve it,
I deserve it,
and I'll shiver off the stem,
I'm a fuck-storm,
I'm an ape-bomb,
Princess Never-Speak-Again,
you did the right thing to throw it away,
you did the right thing,

throw it all away now,

you pawned my guitar,
(I deserve it)
and fucked the meth dealer,
I deserve it,
I deserve it,
I'm a welcome mat in Hell,
and you're dirty feet,
used to feel so sweet,
all the stories you'll never tell,

time to tuck the nightmares into their beds,
kiss them upon their pretty heads,

I'll just go away now,
I''l just go away,

Goodbye.

I Deserve It

(In the Springtime of his discontent, how the husty lunger was upon him. His solvent wraith, projected into the higher ether. How was he too know? That his shadow was rooting into the nightmare latitudes to lay with the terror of all things. That the third lung would attack him, straight through till Winter.)

     ...

I've got alot to hold,
deep down here in the mold,
me and my damaged brain,
still trying to explain,
I've got alot to hold,
I've got alot to...

I cannot walk the walk,
I cannot talk the talk,
me and my damaged brain,
(and it's glitching)
still trying to explain,
(and it's itching)
I've got alot to hold,
I've got alot to,
I've got alot to...

Me And My Damaged Brain

(Suicide is something you live with.)

Gravity crawled inside,
your head and your heart,
and your hope of many mourners,
Haven't we denied?
that it's dragging us down,
and we're bound to our dirty corners,

Circle to be,
but I'm straight to the hate I create,
in my hall of mirrors,
No one here but me,
and a choice that could never be made...

"You look so smashing!"
said the hall of mirrors,
and I broke myself,
on all 41 years,
a thousand tiny shards,
each one sharp enough to cut you,
and your tarot cards,
hanging upside down,

And he breaks himself upon,
the absence of absence,
when anyone gets near him,
and he breaks himself upon,
directions to get lost,
that will always steer him,
nowhere fast,
at the speed of his need,
he would bleed out into the music,
rattle-chains long passed,
madness is a blessing to the cursed,

it's not over,
(yes it is.)
he, he, he's gonna break himself upon you,
he's gonna break himself,

someone call the M.A.I.D,
to clean up this mess,
spinning retrograde,
but I must confess,
it's better even still, 
to break yourself upon the beauty,
bind it to your breath,
and die while still alive,

And he breaks himself upon,
the warning of morning,
that tells him to keep on going,
And he breaks himself,
on the secret of secrets,
that no one else is knowing,
except they do,
and the heart is setting in forgetting,
why it's been beating,
the Beautiful and True...

You could never turn away.

The Neveryone

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