Hey you, get in to the bar! Who me?
Yes you, get in to the bar
Woooooooooh Wah! Hey
Who's that lady struggling with her workload
She ain’t lazy
Who's that young man, he’s been working hard core
Well, no more
I got a party to get to
The boss is paying for my frosty brew
I’ve got a week to recover
A beer garden plan
An ice cold beverage, in my hand

My holiday dreams
Get in to the bar (Get in to the bar)
Cut loose with my team
(I think it’s your round matey)
Get into the bar
(Ho Ho, yeah)
We’re gonna get blind (We’re gonna get blind)
And cause some real strife
(Ooooooh)
Oh I said you (you) too (too)
Get in to the bar
Oh baby

Ladys lets toast, you winning that deal
Negotiator
The budgets under (under)
Hey lets skip the spiel, thats ideal
Bring on the summer
Drinking with my crew
HR will fire me, if they see me spew
I’m gonna drink another
Like a real businessman
Its gonna go downhill
Thats the plan

My holiday dreams
Get into the bar (Get into the bar)
Turn off your screens
(My legs are getting shaky)
Get in to the bar
(Ho Ho, yeah)
We’re gonna get blind (We’re gonna get blind)
And cause some real strife
(Ooooooh)
Oh I said you (you) too (too)
Get in to the bar
Oh maybe, lets go

I said build some rapport
(Make a wisecrack)
Boss out the door
(Did I get sacked)
Fair (Yeah) Fair (Yeah)
Fair (Yeah) Fair (Yeah)
Oh no
Oooh, wooow, yeah

Another year down, well thats the cue
Hey let’s stop working for a week or two
Put on a pair of pluggers
Go work on my tan
And make life livable
Until Jan

My holiday my holiday my holiday dreams
(Woooooooooh)
Get in to the bar (Get in to the bar)
Cut loose with my team
(I think it’s your round maybe)
Get in to the bar
(Ho Ho, yeah)
We’re gonna get blind (We’re gonna get blind)
And cause some real strife
(Ooooooh)
Oh I said you (you) too (too)
Get in to the you (you) too (too)
Get in to the you (you) too (too)
Get in to the bar
Hey you
(Get in the bar now)
I need you to get in the bar now
Get in the bar now, bar now

My Holiday Dreamz (2021)

There is a graying man, known as Santa thats me
I became unhappy with the life of the tree
Life remains a drudge from a high gone downhill

But in the snow
How this job blows
I want to discharge
All my duties, this annual routine

Maybe, this could really be the end I suppose on the sleigh
Who, would more than one of you, just know how it feels, yeah
And now in your warm living room
A man walks in gloom
He won’t stay

Here in this twenty twenty two, it has been such dismay
So much pain, Uvalde, UK Queen, Ukraine, maybe
I feel this years a bad affliction can we say goodbye
How much more can it be happy lately

But in the snow
We let it go
The days become long
And the news turns to times unforseen

Maybe, this could really be the end I suppose on the sleigh
Ohh, a year to get through, without time to heal, yeah
And now in your warm living room
A man walks in gloom
He won’t stay

I might give up this life on the sleigh
I might go home and really just stay
I might chill at my local cafe
I might move and go live in Norway

So this is twenty twenty two, it has been such dismay
So much pain, Inflation, Itaewon, Iran
I feel this years a bad affliction can we say goodbye
How much more can it be happy lately

But in the snow
How this job blows
I want to discharge
All my duties, this annual routine

Maybe, this could really be the end I suppose on the sleigh
Who, would more than one of you, just know how it feels
And now in your warm living room
A man walks in gloom
He won’t stay

Yes this could really be the end I suppose on the sleigh
Ohh, a year to get through, without time to heal, yeah
And I wish my job was on Zoom
Not in this costume
For this pay

I wish my job was on Zoom
Not in this costume
For this pay

The End I Suppose (2022)

And I would do anything for ham
I'd run to get my tasty snack
I would do anything for ham
I'll lie about my weight and that's a fact

But I’ll never regret those maple glazed few bites
Oh so
Gourmet 
And i would do anything for ham
But i wont do that
No i wont do that

And a general just got too greedy
Cos coups against Russia are hard
Your planes now a fireball
And Vladimir was not your friend

And some wont sign a ceasefire
And people will pay the price
Some things there in Gaza I never
Seen before, on CNN

And the hams getting glazy
Oh yeah its glazy through and through
I dont want no fat free
Only the tastiest I will chew

As if that submarines returning
As if the pressures arent concerning
As long as you find that 5 man crew
You’ll never believe it

And I would do anything for ham!
Oh I would do anything for ham!
Oh I would do anything for ham!
But I won't do that!
No I won't do that!

I would do anything for ham
Any smoked meat is what I love
But I just wont do that
I would do anything for ham
Any smoked meat is what I love
But I just wont do that

And the voice just gave us silence
When voters went to the poll
Some people said No which is odd
Just to be a huge asshole

And maybe its baloney
Thats still a pork product to me
Theres just one and only
One and only craving that runs deep

As long as Tina’s Turning
Ken Blocks tyres are burning
Sinead wont be comparing u
You better believe it

That I would do anything for ham
And I’ll make sure that its flavor packed
And I would do anything for ham
And get it in my digestive tract 

But ill never taste better than when I chew chew chew
So long
So long

And i would do anything for ham
Oh i would do anything for ham
I would do anything for ham
But i wont do that
No no i wont do that

[Mel]
Will you carve me up
When im golden brown?
Will you portion me up and pass me around?
Will you help me feed this whole household?

[Gill/Dave]
I can do that
No no no I can do that

[Mel]
Will you put on every seasoning you’ve got? 
Will you make the oven hotter - and warm the gravy pot? 
Will you roast me in all places nice and slow? 

[Dave]
I can do that
Oh no no I can do that

[Mel]
I know your family - some are vegan now
They care about the planet and will save it how?
Sooner or later you’ll join tofu-town

[Gill/Dave]
I won’t do that!
No I won’t do that
Anything for ham
But i wont do that

The Notorious Dave & Gill