EDIT: Studio track available on our upcoming album as "Wheaton's Law"! Stay tuned!

A first rehearsal rough draft recording of the new TPB song "Don't Be A Dick," an homage to Wil Wheaton's wisdom. Lyrics by J. Hebert, music by band. With thanks for inspiration to some snarky fab ladies. <3

Lyrics:
Don’t Be A Dick

Your roommates would like you to know
They can hear your...nocturnal activity
And they say it wouldn’t be so bad
If your girlfriend didn’t have a proclivity
We all know she’s quite fulfilled
She screams just like she’s being killed
We’re happy that you love her crotch
But could you take it down a notch?

Chorus:
Don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick
Wil’s advice is wise, so take this simple trick
Treat others well, it’s Wheaton’s Law, and we hope it clicks
So when in doubt...don’t be a dick

You told your friends to meet at three o’clock
They’ve been waiting, and now it’s after four
Paid their tab and now they’re gonna go
When you finally come strolling in the door
You didn’t think to text or call
And you don’t get why they’re mad at all
‘Cause there were other things to do
And they’re not being fair to you

Bridge:
Someone is wrong on the internet
SOMEONE is WRONG on the INTERNET
Don’t let a troll ruin your whole day
Shut them down when they start
Someone is wrong on the internet
SOMEONE is WRONG on the INTERNET
The unfriend button is just a click away
The unfriend button in your heart

Park in handicap, ‘cause you’ll be “just a second”
And use express lanes when you have a full cart
Don’t let people merge on the highway
Blame someone else and walk away when you fart
Touching people without permission
Sneaking in events without admission
Being a sexist, racist, asshole kind of guy
Or swiping the last piece of pie

Don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick, don’t be a dick
Wil’s advice is wise, so take this simple trick
Treat others well, it’s Wheaton’s Law, and we hope it clicks
So when in doubt...don’t be a dick
If you have to ask, it’s probably wrong, so let this message stick
When in doubt, don’t be a dick!


Wheaton's Law (Don't Be A Dick) (Rehearsal 0514)

Theme Music Presents: COLABRADOODLE! For Random Collab Birth Year Mashup Week, we mashed War's "Spill the Wine" with Prince's "When Doves Cry." Starring Jessica Hebert (lead vox, djembe), Bill Lowe (harmonica, lead vox), Pattie Noah (vox), Shane O'Donnell (arr., guir-faux, drums, keys, vox, Princeisms), and Frank Padellaro (arr., guitar, bass, vox, production, mix).

When Doves Spill Wine

A snippet of our song request for Nathan Fillion, but done as a silly little ballad. Just a little fun before our Gamestorm concert this Saturday!

Nathan Fillion (Please Take Off Your Pants) (Ballad Style)

The gang at Geek in the City, during a microphone rotation, asked Christian to sing them some intermission music. This "charming" (read: worrisome) little ditty came out. ENJOY.

Christian's Microphone Song from Geek in the City 5/13/15

Live on KMUZ September 27, 2015

While wrapping up a new Christmas song, "Humbug," an impromptu parody merging it with Hanson's "MMMBop" broke out. Just another night with the PDX Broadsides.

Hummmbop.

Written on the spot during the "Songwriting Roulette" panel at Rose City Comic Con 2018 by:
Shubzilla http://shubzilla.bandcamp.com
Chris Waffle of Megathruster http://www.megathrustergo.com
Kyle Stevens of Kirby Krackle http://www.kirbykrackle.com and
Christian Lipski of the PDX Broadsides! http://www.pdxbroadsides.com

Thanks to our audience for their support and great suggestions!

I'm A Hero (live RCCC 2018)

An acoustic nerdy trio who like to sing about stuff they like. Currently this includes Doctor Who, Science, Grammar, Miyazaki, and BASIC Programming.

ThePDXBroadsides

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