For M

tonights a good night and you and i are good too baby but im going to bed now and i dont know what you want but all i know is that i want you so much more 
and i know i said all those things and i cried so hard i got sick 
but honestly i dont feel anything anymore 
and you know im unsure about every single fucking thing so why cant you tell me what you want what you think 
cause you left this completely up to me and i cant even take care of myself so how can you expect me to take care of this take care of us 
cause i cant 
and its a year later and its all falling apart 
i remember just a month ago you called me to say you love me and now you dont even pick up the phone 
and i just need to hear your voice one last time 
at least before we say 
we had a good life together

we had a good life together

We Had A Good Life Together

Covers

Anxiety Attack by Jeffrey Lewis

she got what she wanted, the nerdy, needy type 
one who seems mature but can't even spell the word "commitment" right 
you said "my whole world completely caving in on me" 
he thinks the whole situation just seems completely numbing 
he's asking around cause he can't make his own decisions 
the only thing he's good at is burning bridges 
so i'll stand on the sidelines, thinking this is my fault 
she's taking all these chances 
skipping classes 
cause he doesn't think she can handle another broken heart 
you're crying over breakups 
acting tough 
and dying your hair a different color again 
he's taking advice 
and acting nice 
and fixing problems that aren't even there 
she's feeling the only emotions she knows 
but you're both already living in glass houses, throwing stones 
you're drinking, smoking, trying to get the pain to go away 
showing up to school hungover isn't exactly your best choice today 
he's grateful but honest and pathetically brought this 
upon himself, despite what he promised 
and i might feel bad but there's nothing i can do 
i'd tell you that you're wrong but it's all up to you 
she's taking all these chances 
skipping classes 
cause he doesn't think she can handle another broken heart 
you're crying over breakups 
acting tough 
and dying your hair a different color again 
he's taking advice 
and acting nice 
and fixing problems that aren't even there

Cutting Class

You've Got A Boyfriend Now. Cool

you say you wanna see me 
but i don't think you know just what you mean 
cause that first song i wrote was all about you 
you said i was your one and only but you pick and you choose 
and while you're on vacation i'll run away 
maybe this time you'll notice you're just a cliche 
painting in your bedroom, in the dark 
thinking when you're dead and gone you'll leave your mark 
oh lovely mister 
kept my memories, kept my time 
you kiss me like it's no big deal 
it tears me up inside 
cause you don't seem to adore me the way you say you do 
oh lovely mister 
fuck your lies, and fuck your truth 
cause i used to tell you jokes but you told them to another 
now all i'll ever be is just an olden, untold lover 
so while you're skating on the coast, making best of the cold 
you'll go to san antonio leaving me without hope 
i locked myself in the closet, third time today 
i just can't seem to look at myself without feeling betrayed 
so i'll lay in bed but refuse to sleep 
now it's five in the morning and i've cut way too deep 
oh lovely mister 
kept my memories, kept my time 
you kiss me like it's no big deal 
it tears me up inside 
cause you don't seem to adore me the way you say you do 
oh lovely mister 
fuck your lies, and fuck your truth 
i spent all this wasted time on something i can't control 
but i still feel you in my heart, my blood, my skin, and my bones 
and i have a question, i don't mean to pry 
but when did that piece of me inside you die 
oh lovely mister 
kept my memories, kept my time 
you kiss me like it's no big deal 
it tears me up inside 
cause you don't seem to adore me the way you say you do 
oh lovely mister 
fuck your lies, and fuck your truth

Lovely

3/15/15 
for MS
lyrics
i had a big future planned out 
i would learn to drive and take you to my house 
we would skateboard and read a lot of poetry 
then you'd paint on my back and i'd teach you to sing 
and i tried my first cigarette with you 
you took pictures and i kept blowing the smoke through 
i took hit after hit after hit after hit 
then i got so addicted you begged me to quit 
but you had a different image in your head 
i was never in your future, i lived in your past instead 
so take me off speed dial 
it's four in the morning, what could you have to say? 
you're nothing but a liar 
you asked to hold my hand but you led me astray 
a week after i said goodbye 
you asked if i was okay, and "it's okay to cry" 
but here we are in my bedroom again 
singing songs, taking pictures, forgetting what i said 
you'll call me late at night 
cause you'd love to talk but you can't ever find the time 
and i'll be sad and asking stupid questions 
cause you never give straight answers and ignore me when i mention 
"what is the image in your head 
of us in the future, do you see someone else instead?" 
tell me the imagine in your head 
you'd love to fall in love but you can't love me when i'm dead 
so take me off speed dial 
it's four in the morning, what could you have to say? 
you're nothing but a liar 
you said you'd always want me but you push me away 
woah, woah 
woah, woah

Future

my aesthetic is pathetic and my friends, they just don't get it 
cause i'm disconnected, rejected, and most of all, neglected 
and i'm lonely but not alone 
and you asked if i wanted to go home 
i packed all my things and walked away 
and worst of all, you didn't try to get me to stay 
i thought you were better than this 
you promised you always had my back 
i thought you were more than this 
sensitivity's all you lack 
i thought you were better than this 
criticizing my every move 
i thought you were more than this 
what the fuck were you trying to prove? 
i'm unimpressed with my depressed sense of worthlessness 
and i can't interact with the fear i'll crack and crumble at eye contact 
and i'm lonely but not alone 
and my mom asked to please come home 
i packed all my things and walked into the street 
expecting for your car to hit me, with you in the driver's seat 
i thought you were better than this 
you promised you always had my back 
i thought you were more than this 
sensitivity's all you lack 
i thought you were better than this 
criticizing my every move 
i thought you were more than this 
what the fuck were you trying to prove? 
i'm lonely but not alone 
i'm lonely but not alone 
i'm lonely but not alone 
i'm lonely but not alone

Lonely, Not Alone

this song used to be dedicated to kd. but, in recent events, i'd like to dedicate it to mp. enjoy.

you said you don't need friends cause you've got pills 
then the very next day you're complaining about how you woke up ill 
so i'll say goodbye to my former lover 
cause i don't think i've ever endured anything tougher 
so tell me why i'm still trying 
and why you're still replying 
if i'm a fairweather friend 
woah, a fairweather friend 
woah, a fairweather friend 
a fairweather friend 
now i'm forced to watch this dry up like paint on a wall 
instead of expressively, creatively, artistically writing on a bathroom stall 
and i don't mind letting people in but you're in so deep you're crawling beneath my skin 
so tell me why you're still trying 
and why i'm still replying 
if i'm a fairweather friend 
woah, a fairweather friend 
woah, a fairweather friend 
a fairweather friend 
you said i'm contradicting and suicidal 
went from best friends to rivals 
and i know it's a lot to ask 
but please get off my back 
cause selflessness is something that you lack 
i'm nothing but a fairweather friend to you 
and that's all i'll ever be 
a fairweather friend

Fairweather Friend

i hope you see this on your facebook feed 
and go to listen cause you've been missing me 
it's the same old, same old, writing songs about you again 
only this time, my bedroom walls are closing in 
and i thought i blocked you out of my mind 
but i can't drink poison and expect you to die 
so stay out of my life, once and for all 
i don't wanna hear about your girlfriends or how i never call 
just know i'm doing fine, i'm so fucking great 
i'm happier without you, you were just extra weight.

Extra Weight

it's 10:12 it's nighttime 
and i skipped school for the ninth time 
and i know you'll be like "nevermind" 
and we won't be friends anymore 
just because i opened my eyes 
and god knows how hard i tried 
and in all my life 
i've never been so productive 
oh maybe solitudes not all that bad 
oh maybe solitudes not all that bad 
that boy you hate 
the boy that wants to fuck up his own fate 
finally asked me why i've gone away 
leading me in the wrong direction 
but rather let's talk about you 
the boy that's got me in the blues 
used to think you were a dream come true 
but you're just so frustrating 
oh maybe solitudes not all that bad 
oh maybe solitudes not all that bad.

Solitude

my old friends don't seem to understand 
that i'm drowning and there's no sight of land 
so keep your steady gaze away from my face 
i'm stuck in my head and i'm out of place 
but my new friends, yeah they give me hell 
and they're so cool now, it's getting hard to tell 
if they even want me around 
i wanna jump off a building and never hit the ground 
cause that's where my anxiety lives 
under rocks, twigs, and sticks 
and between my lips 
and that's where my depression hides 
in grass, flowers, beehives 
and behind my eyes.

My New Friends

one interesting fact about me 
the only friend i've made this week 
is by ex boyfriend's gameboy color 
it gets along with me like no other and 
my friends say to stop being so sick with worry 
cause in the end we're only growing up slowly 
oh, are you really friends of mine? 
filled with ridicule, genocide and cyanide and 
i find it funny cause you never text me back and 
he only never ever likes you when you're sad, man 
so cut me some slack 
you've been joking around with me for far too long 
cut me some slack 
if you'll notice, i'm not that strong

Ex Boyfriend's Gameboy Color

inspired by pop punk, pizza & her shitty hometown, jasmine sings about anxiety and the stupid things her friends say.

thepoppunkqueen

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