Start Again
----------------

I just feel too old
to start again.
Here I go,
both feet in.

Why did I go?
What did I know?
Here I go.
Pull the pin.

Blow my world to pieces.
Loneliness, it reaches me
and I retreat.
I rebuild you in my mind,
all I left behind.
This place feels so unkind.

I just feel too old
but I'm starting again.
I'm getting off the floor.
I'm pounding on the door.
Let me in.
Let me in.
Let me in.
Let me in.

Theresa D'Onofrio, 2021.

Start Again (2021, with Javier Badillo)

In the Face of Fear

All the places I’m afraid to go are filled with people I don’t know
And if I go, I linger in the back
And watch them dance
from where they don’t see me,
but I can watch the rolling sea of bodies,
and in my mind I’m dancing.

(Chorus)
What’s the point of holding back?
The years are disappearing
And they’re not coming back.
There’s no time
To skirt that line
If we’ve only got one life to live
I might as well live mine.

Leave the job you stayed too long
join a band
write a song
sing it to a room full of people you don’t know.
Move away to Nanaimo, or maybe call New Brunswick home. 
Get a dog. Get a camper van.

Or try on the nomadic life.
Leave a husband. Take a wife.
Live with all your best friends in a house with a lanai.

(Repeat chorus X 2)

If we’ve only got one life, you know…
I probably should live my own.

What’s the point of holding back?
The years are disappearing
And they are not coming back.
They’re not coming back.

In the Face of Fear (Aug 2022)

Long View

Write me your letters
Tell me your fears
And the weather wherever you are.
Don’t try to tell me you miss me tonight
I know how many miles you are.

You’ve been begging me to call
But I know it’s not enough
Your demands are too far out of reach for me.

I know you’re looking for answers
I know that I let you down.

Try to let go of my memories of you
Try to let go of the heartache I feel
I know you’re looking for answers
I know that I let you down

You’ve been begging me to call you for days
You’ve been making demands, but I can’t get away.
I know it’s a circus for you
But for me, it’s my life.
For me, it’s the long view.

———————

(This is another track I had planned to do more with, but I was glad to have a chance to at least record this with some piano accompaniment by Javier Badillo!)

Long View (June 2022, with Javier Badillo)

Lyrics
--------

There was a current
that took me out far under starlight,
far far away from it all...
from it all.

There was a hot rush,
hotter than when the lights burned out,
hotter than summer nights played/stayed out
after the streetlights came on.

There was a darkness
deeper than cutting
a love lost
into your body
a long trough
dug like a search without end.

It's been a long day.
I'm limp on the bed like a lover,
distant and empty,
discovered,
not really here, but not gone.


(Theresa D'Onofrio. Copyright 2017, 2020.)

Love Lost (2020)

Lyrics
--------

What time is it, day is it, month...
Will it ever get better? Ever get better?
The circles I'm spinning in pile up.
They pile up around me.
Will I ever get free?

I don't know why,
though I try,
I can't seem to land.
Somehow, things don't work out.
At least not the way that I planned.

There was a time when I felt so alive.
These days I'm left reeling.
I can't shake the feeling
it's simply a failure to thrive.

What time is it, day is it, month...
Will it ever get better? Ever get better?
The circles I'm spinning in pile up.
They pile up around me.
Will I ever get free?

I miss myself
like a memory
before I got lost in my mind.
And I know you all try to tell me,
“Oh, you're smart, you will be fine,”
but I'm not fine.

What time is it, day is it, month...
Will it ever get better? Ever get better?
The circles I'm spinning in pile up.
They pile up around me.
Will I ever get free?

I don't know why,
though I try,
I can't seem to land.
Somehow, things don't work out.
At least not the way that I planned.

What time is it, day is it, month...
Will it ever get better? Ever get better?
What time is it, day is it, month...
Will it ever get better? Ever get better?
What time is it, day is it, month...
Will it ever get better? Ever get better?


(Theresa D'Onofrio. Copyright 2020.)

Better (August 2020)

Something fun and cathartic to sing. Very rough around the edges, as I was fumbling around, having just discovered Garage Band instruments, diving in and just seeing what would happen. I keep thinking I’ll drop this one, until I listen and enjoy it all over again.

Bitch (Explicit lyrics; November 2020)

Vocals and lyrics by Theresa D'Onofrio
Music and production by Javier Badillo

Lyrics
--------

Saturday night, an empty apartment.
Stumbling drunk around in the dark and you’re gone – gone – gone.

The radio would play a song,
we’d claim it as our own
Driving in your car,
never wanting to go home.
I wake up early even though I feel like shit.
Stare at the TV, even though I’m sick of it.
Trying to calm down now, I look in the mirror, and I feel sick.
I was wrong – wrong —.

The radio would play a song,
we’d claim it as our own.
Driving in your car.
Never wanting to go home.
You used to pull me under
when we still loved each other.

You never promised you’d never leave me.
I didn’t think that was something a person had to say.
Too many days lost, too many questions — unanswered
Not enough here to make you stay.

Saturday night, an empty apartment.
Stumbling drunk around in the dark and you’re gone.

The radio would play a song,
we’d claim it as our own.
Lying in your arms
Never wanting to go home.
You used to pull me under
when we still loved each other.
We loved.

(Theresa D'Onofrio. Copyright 2020.)

Like a 90s Love Song (2020, with Javier Badillo)

Lyrics, music, composition, and production by Theresa D'Onofrio.

Lyrics
--------

Shadows move across the mountains slowly,
and the trees breathe a misty sigh.
The sun comes over the ridge,
warms needles, leaves, and limbs,
and the wide open sky.

Barely daybreak,
but I'm on the highway,
on mountain roads
whose stories I don't know.
Got the radio on.
I'm listening to a favourite song,
on the wide open road.

Waterfalls along the side of the road.
Jagged rock faces worn smooth by wind and snow.
Hillsides high, and valleys wide with scrub and trees.
Palettes of green painted like poetry.

So much time spent busy and distracted.
Even on these roads, some destination in mind.
Try to slow down the pace,
enjoy the beauty of the place,
and see what you find.

I'm always scanning for a glimpse of wildlife —
moose down low, and sheep or deer up on a ridge.
I smile every time. It's like seeing an old friend of mine.
What a place to live.

Waterfalls along the side of the road.
Jagged rock faces worn smooth by wind and snow.
Hillsides high, and valleys wide with scrub and trees.
Palettes of green painted like poetry.

Waterfalls along the side of the road.
Jagged rock faces worn smooth by wind and snow.
Hillsides high, and valleys wide with scrub and trees.
Palettes of green painted like poetry.
Palettes of green painted like poetry.


Theresa D'Onofrio, 2020.

Mountain Song (Dad's Song, 2021)

I’m a singer and songwriter on Canada’s west coast, working at letting go of the idea of perfection.

I’m recording and sharing mostly quick-turnaround versions of my songs with imagined plans to rework them through future collaborations.

Thanks for listening.

Theresa D'Onofrio

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