dont give a crap

dead{prodxternalz}

I let your heart turn black
And I know I can't take it back
Every minute I'm thinking about our past
And I know if I was better it probably would've lasted
Can you not give up on me yet?
I swear i'll be better, we'll make it to the end
Even if that means we have to be just friends
I swear that I would do it all over again for you
And all over again for you, please just listen to me
Please let me prove to you
I can be better, you just gotta see
Please just give me one more chance
Do you remember the first time I asked for this dance?
Girl, promise I can be your perfect man
Just please, can we have this dance one more time?
Girl, I promise I'ma clean up your mind
And, I promise it'll be worth your time
Girl, im never getting rid of this book
I'd rather rewrite all my pages than go buy another one
If everything you said was true, then one more chance, please give me one
I'm not the same dude that I was, I promise that that guy is gone
I promise you I'll love you until death decides to pull us apart
I'll put the dagger out your chest and perform surgery right on your heart
And I feel so stupid for saying all of this
In sorry music.
 but it's the only way that you're gonna hear it
And I said bad things and made you hear it
So I can't blame you every time you fear it
Just let me love you and raise your spirits
Just one more time girl, I swear I could do it

i let ur heart turn black

You should totally kill yourself
It's not like this shit is getting you anywhere
You're going to be a failure
You worthless piece of shit
Can you tell me is it truly over
Can you tell me if it's truly gone
I'm contemplating calling your mom
Girl, I promise that I'm done
Can you please just hang right on?
Let me fix all of my wrongs
You're all I got and you're all I want
Can you please hang on?

hang on

Can you hug me with my sweater on?
Girl, please don't you move on
Just stay with me one more time
I'll show you what I got
I'll give you what you want
I'll never hurt you again
I wanna hear you talk
Don't you feel the same way?
Don't you still remember?
that promise for December
Please tell me you remember
Please tell me you remember
I promise that I'm done
I'm putting down the drugs
Can we pick up where we left off?
I promise I'll be enough
I'll never make you wanna run
I'll never make you fear again
I promise I won't make you regret it again
Please give me this last chance
'Cause I genuinely
Don't want nobody else with me
I'm sorry you had to deal with me
I'll be better, if you stay with me
Terryn i love the way
You walk in the room so awkwardly
And you do the little thing with your arms
And I love when I make you smile
And you raise your arm again, like, above your mouth
Like you're nervous and then you put it back down
So it just looks like you're having a weird little twitch
And sometimes we would have a little laugh about it
I really want us to go back to being the couple
That we dreamed and envisioned us being
Can you please let me give that to us now?
I'm ready to please
Can you give me this one last chance to prove myself to you?
I don't want nobody else but you
I love you so much
This isn't just teenage, this is real love
Please
I love you













Taryn
I love the way you walk in the room so awkwardly
And you do the little thing with your arms
And I love when I make you smile
And you raise your arm again like above your mouth
Like you're nervous but then you put it back down
So it just looks like you're having a weird little twitch
And sometimes we laugh about it
I really want us to go back to being the couple that we dream
and envisioned us being
Can you please let me give that to us now?
I'm ready to please
Can you give me this lone last chance to prove myself to you?
I don't want nobody else from you, I love you so much
This isn't just teenage, this real love
Please
I love you

hug me with my sweater on

Im sorry things between us ended the way they did, I really am
And I really meant when I said I would've did better, but I know that that doesn't mean anything, I've been doing bad for so long
And never fully seeming to make any effort to change the way that I am for you
And
even though I really did try
And I still fucked up, like, so bad
I can't take any of it back, none of it
Everything I did, I have to take accountability for, and I do
I own up to everything I did, I'm sorry
I'm sorry for hitting you
I'm sorry for forcing you to do things you didn't wanna do
sorry for making you go places you didn't want to go
I'm sorry for making you smoke things you didn't want to smoke
I'm sorry for enabling you to so much torture and pain and suffering by the likes of me
I really did love you so much, I don't know what was wrong with me
There's no excuse for what I did anymore
I tried my best to hold your heart
And love you through everything
No matter what
And I know I failed at that
I just wish you would give me the proper closure
'Cause I'm not that guy anymore
And it doesn't
forever have to feel like this or be like this
We promised each other, we told each other right in each other's eyes
All of these words that no one else can know
And that's just something I can't let go because I never did it with anyone else
I really just want it to work with you
Please let me make it work
don't, I don't wanna live my life knowing that you're gone and the memories of you are slowly gonna fade from my brain
I wanna, I wanna see you succeed
I never wanna be the cause of your depression or your anxiety or your fear ever again
I don't know what has become of me
whatever it was, it absolutely ruined everything
And I hope you know now that when I say this I really mean it
I'm not doing any of this in desperate attempts to win you back anymore
Or just get you to see my side, I understand
I'm just, I'm unable to live
with the guilt
And everything that I've put upon you and a lot of other people
I can't live with it
And I really wish I could fix it
'Cause I know I could fix it now because I'm better
But none of it means anything
Because you're gone
So thank you
Thank you so much for being a part of my life
I hope you get my messages and you finally take the time to see this
You remember I love you
I hope the new person you get with treats you right
I hope no one ever, no one else puts you through what I put you through
I have your book here
I can't do this
I love all of you guys
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I have to end it like this, I really am
I can't, I can't do it anymore, I fucked it up
I only wanted to do it for her
I wanted to do it all for her
She was my top priority
And for some reason I let her
I took advantage of all of it
I took it for granted
Just please, Terryn
Don't ruin your life
I'm gonna be here watching
I really love you, I'm gonna be here watching you, baby
I'm sorry for everything

suicide note

Lyrics:

think he's really, really sick
He is really, really sick

Where's my drug that I've been needing?
making us dinner while you're out cheating
I'm prolly playing roblox while you're in bed with Steven
I thought i caught you in the act but it turns out i was dreaming

I waited so long
to do this
Now I just feel so stupid
Now I just feel so useless
Now I feel like a nuisance 

You left me lonely right here under the tree!
And you're stronger, you're stronger, you're stronger than me
I'll wait longer, wait longer, wait longer, wait longer, for you
With no clue if you even ever think of me

Surprise, youve never, seen me, sing like this
When you're home and you listen, you know it's gon' hit
From your heart, to your ribs, to your lips, to your hips
You make sure you don't forget it, cause i'll scream it

just like this!

Where's my drug that I've been needing?
making us dinner while you're out cheating
I'm prolly playing roblox while you're in bed with Steven
I thought i caught you in the act but it turns out i was dreaming

I waited so long
to do this
Now I just feel so stupid
Now I just feel so useless
Girl you make me feel like a nuisance 

Why dont you get it man? Im crying for help
High as fuck with pill bottles all over my shelf
Man at this point I know I'm killing myself
But fuck life if I can't have you to myself

I don't want nobody else

(girl i dont want nobody else)

Girl, I'm so selfish for you, I just want you to myself

(i just want you to myself)

If i cant have you baby, I might have to take you out!

(oh yeah)

Is that what it's all about?

(is it?)
'
Cause that's all that I rap about

'Or is that just what you're choosing to hear?

Where's my drug that I've been needing?
Making us dinner while you're out cheating
I'm prolly playing roblox while you're in bed with Steven
I thought i caught you in the act but it turns out i was dreaming

its over, its over for you 

its over for you

You should totally kill yourself
It's not like this shit is getting you anywhere
You're going to be a failure
You worthless piece of shit

hug me with my sweater on

theres nothing left of me