It's almost St. Patrick's Day so what better way to celebrate than watching Early Edition's offensively portray Irish people while Kyle Chandler saves lives in dad jeans? Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs along with special guest @itslisae to discuss trout, illegal immigration, and this show's role in the death of print media.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
THIS EPISODE: https://youtu.be/wiL3pNsK_Dk
OPENING CREDITS: http://bit.ly/1NRoCDZ
MAC & ME SCENE: http://bit.ly/1CbHzOJ
DVD COVER: http://bit.ly/1NRoC6T

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E040 - Early Edition - 4x22 - Luck O' The Irish (With Lisa Eastham)

April Fools! We pranked ourselves and sat through an episode of Cousin Skeeter that isn't even about April Fools.  Join your hosts @maurae & @lafergs along with special guest @quinivasc to discuss muppet stylo, wigs, bikinis and so much more.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
THEME SONG: http://bit.ly/1EZMgJn
SKEETIA'S BIKINI SPREAD: http://i.imgur.com/eftQAHE.jpg
SKEETIA'S BLUE WIG: http://i.imgur.com/L5nQyIh.png
ANIMAL SHIRTLESS: http://bit.ly/1Btd3cF
CREEPY JANICE: http://bit.ly/1bzNEJb

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E042 - Cousin Skeeter - 2x19 - The Feminine Ms. Skeet (With Quiniva Smith)

Are you trapped in a cat body? Are you sick of your boss not collecting your tips? Help us help you enjoy soggy burgers and two hour late pizza with that infamous episode of Kitchen Nightmares, Amy's Baking Company. Join your hosts @maurae & @lafergs along with returning special guest @aarthid of @backinthefield to discuss who is the real gangster!

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
GORDON'S FLIRT SKILLS: https://youtu.be/Pshc7ohTMEk
KATIE'S AMA: http://redd.it/1eegnm
THE AFTERMATH: http://huff.to/19Nw9DG


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E043 - Kitchen Nightmares - 6x16 - Amy's Baking Company (With Aarthi D)

We watched Ryan Murphy's second (and somehow, not final) attempt at a Christmas Carol homage, taking a trip into an alternate reality where this show is actually likable. Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs as we dissect the neuroses, narcotics, and near-death experiences in Nip/Tuck with returning special guest @itslisae! 

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
SEASON FIVE PROMOS: https://youtu.be/7xzbKiv851c
BRADLEY COOPER ON NIP/TUCK: https://youtu.be/PcMzallOJks
SEXED TO DEATH OFF A ROOF: https://youtu.be/3NT1aTxKYgw

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E044 - Nip/Tuck - 2x12 - Julia McNamara (With Lisa Eastham)

Welcome to a very special episode about a very special episode. Put your guns away and crank up crazy mom drama to eleven, it's time to awkwardly dance at a stranger's birthday party! Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs along with returning guest @burritoprophet to discuss Beverly Hills, 90210's The Next Fifty Years.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
OPENING SONG PLAYED ON A TEEN DRAMA: https://youtu.be/-zqoR3yWu2k
EVERY SEASON INTRODUCTION: https://youtu.be/ilzhb0aLH70
HEY, DAVID! CHECK THIS OUT: https://youtu.be/tqmrfxBKavU
YOU'RE SO PRECIOUS TO ME: https://youtu.be/mB7Ztq16A7M
TROLL 2 STYLE: https://youtu.be/HyophYBP_w4
SCOTT'S DUMB FACE: http://goo.gl/h4xaCq

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E046 - Beverly Hills, 90210 - 2x14 - The Next Fifty Years (With Samantha Moya)

It's life or death, so break out 10CCs of outdated pop hits. We watched the Grey's Anatomy musical episode! Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs along with guest @monroealy to discuss 

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
BOMB GUY'S 2AM SCENE: https://youtu.be/bvMa9uxKAbs
I DON'T HATE YOU: https://youtu.be/NKytCdbHSr4?t=2m9s
SCRUBS MUSICAL: https://youtu.be/MasJtEJTOJk
BUFFY MUSICAL: https://youtu.be/_4yVFUixgwA

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E048 - Grey's Anatomy - 7x18 - Song Beneath The Song (With Aly Monroe)

We explore the sordid world of Silk Stalkings, apple bobbing, and VHS counterfeiting. Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs along with guest @carolineframke to sit down, anywhere but on a sofa, and discuss Carrie-Anne Moss' fabulousness.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
OPENING CREDITS: http://bit.ly/1Gdxyki
GREATEST EVENT IN TV HISTORY: http://bit.ly/1KKwunK
CHRISTINA'S WORLD: http://goo.gl/C3FxGY
FINAL MONOCHROMETASTIC SHOT: http://i.imgur.com/FgOBhCx.jpg

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E052 - Silk Stalkings - 3x02 - The Perfect Alibi (With Caroline Framke)

Happy Fourth of July! We celebrated in the most American way we know how: unrelenting capitalism. Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs along with guest @sdpowell1 to discuss the glorious train wreck that was the Dawson's Creek spin-off, Coca-Cola Presents Young Americans (full title necessary for proper viewing experience).

This episode accidentally features product placement for Stamps.com, Friendly's, and obviously, Pepsi (maybe Coca-Cola, too, although only briefly). If any of these brands would like us to promote their products in a more professional way, like Charlie Hunnam's career after this show, please contact us.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
CREDITS + SONG: https://youtu.be/tglbNxlXljY
STEVE CARELL'S CRITIQUE: http://on.cc.com/1qEqBzT
CHARMING CHARLIE HUNNAM: https://youtu.be/GBmKdo30r4Q?t=16m15s
PILOT SHIRTLESS SCENE: https://youtu.be/q4w3UWop51I?t=5m55s
GROSS POINTE PARODY: https://youtu.be/MZw7HjnQCKM
LITERALLY SET IN A FRIENDLY'S: http://i.imgur.com/t32XeN4.png

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E056 - Coca-Cola Presents Young Americans - 1x06 - Gone (With Samantha Powell)

The devil is real. No, seriously. We watched the episode of Body of Proof that confirms that science is bullshit, even if Dana Delaney spends all her days bullying people about it's superiority. Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs along with guest @levyontv to discuss bad dads, dairy cows, and Lucifer himself.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
MILK THE DAIRY COW: https://youtu.be/7UtK1SXW-yE
CHRISTINA HENDRICKS IS A DEAD TWIN: http://imdb.to/1M0kKSn
DR. BLAKE DOWNS: http://bit.ly/1LPx3y7
WHITE COLLAR GOOD/BAD SWAP: http://imdb.to/1fZw1DY

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E065 - Body Of Proof - 3x03 - Lost Souls (With Nate Levy)

Everything is heightened in this week's episode: the length, the guest count, the amount of times a once in a million siring will happen in the span of half a century! It's finally time to take apart a show that's near and dear to our undead hearts, The Vampire Diaries. Join your hosts @maurae & @lafergs are joined in our #2spooky midnight Halloween Party Special by @itslisae, @rowankaiser, and @galfridian! Pop a bottle of something expensive, we're going to talk about the ridiculous sire bond plot-line, the terribleness of the Travelers, and so much more!

Editor's Note: From 1:20:00-1:30:00 we discuss the way this show neglected to address flagrant sexual assault of a main character. Warning for those who would like to skip that portion, or the episode to avoid the topic.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
AND EVEN HYBRIDS: https://youtu.be/QuhKbXiMzUA
BLUE FOUNDATION'S MUSIC > THAT SEX SCENE: https://youtu.be/8IHFVn0sv14
SHE'S ONE IN A MILLION (OF MISS CONGIENIALITY): https://youtu.be/v-ezVFq9QWc
ELENA'S RED HAIR STREAK: http://bit.ly/1M76XZ3
THE MEMORIAL CHURCH SCENE: https://youtu.be/SrYfVi_B5go
I BING'D IT: https://youtu.be/talcGAOj9YQ 
SHAMELESS PRODUCT PLACEMENT: https://youtu.be/XCMlQOwHkjM
LEXI'S STYLE GAME TOO STRONG: http://bit.ly/1PWapZ5
TOM GODDAMN AVERY: http://bit.ly/1HiZ2Cg

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E073 - The Vampire Diaries - 4x08 - We'll Always Have Bourbon Street (Halloween Party Special)

Happy Thanksgiving! We celebrated by tearing apart the racist garbage that was Murder, She Wrote! In this episode a bunch of old white people defend their town's land by fighting back against the oppressive Native American man who claims it rightfully his! Also: there is murder. Join your host @maurae and guest @quinivasc to discuss how the hell this show ever got nominated for Emmys. Plural.

This episode literally aired in Murder, She Wrote's Thanksgiving slot. They gave zero fucks. 

(Warning: there are references to spousal abuse throughout. Not in depth, but in case you'd like to steer clear.)

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
SUPES RACIST VOODOO EP #1: http://imdb.to/1Qxvppe
SUPES RACIST VOODOO EP #2: http://imdb.to/1Nfn3SQ
QUINIVA'S FAVE EPISODE: http://imdb.to/1I0GTPk
MUUUURDER SHE WROTE: https://youtu.be/2fx7p7TEi6M
GEORGE LONGBOW'S IMDB: http://imdb.to/1kJzhqs

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E076 - Murder She Wrote - 4x10 -  Indian Giver (With Quiniva Smith)

If you've ever awoken to find yourself a rich television star, you too know the risks of this week's fourth wall breaking episode on Growing Pains' show within a show: Meet the Seavers. Join your hosts @mauraeand @lafergs along with returning guest @ohseafarer of @britchespodcast to discuss Alan Thicke's consummate professionalism and how great at playing a normal version of himself Kirk Cameron used to be!

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
BIZARRE OPENING CREDITS: youtu.be/gJdg6LKIzJ8
LEO DICAPRIO IN THE NORMAL CREDITS: youtu.be/EtZN52pqtOA
HYDROPHOBIC CHEMICALS: youtu.be/i4J6uC22Hwo
BUB, SUPERFAN: youtu.be/QgmFlB9Isx4
BUB IN STARFLEET UNIFORM: bit.ly/1jCwM7Z
BUB IN HOME ALONE: bit.ly/1RryV46
SIMPSONS DID IT BETTER: bit.ly/1Qjg8qL

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E078 - Growing Pains - 6x21 - Meet The Seavers (With Lisa Shininger)

CLIMB ABOARD THE MURDER TRAIN. Start 2016 off  with a doozy as we tear apart the iconic disaster that were How I Mother's two part finale episodes. Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs along with guests @galfridian and @kgrhymes to discuss the suspected murder plots hatched to get rid of the Barney/Robin marriage, The Mother, and the show's entire premise.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
ROBIN'S KILLER BLUE DRESS: http://bit.ly/1mWaQqF
COBIE SMULDERS IN WALKING TALL: https://youtu.be/l7dUazpVsLk
FRESH PRINCE'S DAD LEAVING SCENE: https://youtu.be/1ZPsfO2I4bo
BARNEY'S DAD SUCKS SCENE: https://youtu.be/fmeMbelaZGk
BARNEY'S A DAD SCENE: https://youtu.be/wnMJoZ7lqis
HOW TO USE PORTABLE HOTSPOTS: https://youtu.be/THvTpqF52ls
THE PUSSY POSSE FEAT. DAVID BLAINE: http://bzfd.it/1P7RSE3
OUR LOST EPISODE: http://bit.ly/TTV-E007
OUR WILL & GRACE EPISODE: http://bit.ly/TTV-E064
MARSHALL'S DAD DIED: https://youtu.be/o-8Dy_Q4zkE
THE LEAP: https://vimeo.com/34899170
COBIE & NPH'S INITIAL FINALE PRESS: http://bit.ly/1RfUdBt
NPH THEN & NOW: http://i.imgur.com/8FdPzLy.jpg

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E082 - How I Met Your Mother - 9x23 & 9x24 - The Last Forever (With Jessica Reed & Kyle Grimes)

Happy Fourth of July! We celebrate with the best way to honor life, liberty, and the American way we know and watched the beach-centric holiday episode of Saved By The Bell. Join your hosts @maurae & @lafergs along with guest @thekuhlest to dive deep on many of life mysteries: the low-key Slater/Lisa romance plot in this episode, how close to Sainthood was Kelly Kapowski by the time this show went off the air, and what the Fourth of July means to you (besides 50% off at all department stores).

AS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:
THOSE UNIFORMS: http://imgur.com/YaRVfuQ
SCREECH GETS "STUCK": http://imgur.com/X7lrcDR
UNNECCESARY COLONIAL GARB: http://imgur.com/tykDP9u
MAURA'S MOM CAN'T GUESS WHITE GUYS: http://bit.ly/29kZDOI
HOT MESS, STACY: http://imgur.com/HRTGWzE
2000s ROMCOM STARRING SLATER: http://imgur.com/5SywVI0
ELBOWING TEENAGE GIRLS: http://imgur.com/dFuXeHo
COSTUME CONTEST: http://imgur.com/U5LcTkx
ZACK/KELLY PHOTO SHOOT: http://imgur.com/O5cgih0
SLATER'S PANTS, SERIOUSLY: http://imgur.com/8DCDX6N
PHYSICS DEFYING TUG-O-WAR: http://imgur.com/TpTQHdr
90's MUSIC VIDEO ZACK MORRIS: http://imgur.com/sBQSQpy
LISA/SLATER TRUE LOVE FOREVER: http://i.imgur.com/aFdWW1j.jpg
KISS AND FIREWORK BLEND: http://imgur.com/suJ6vab

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E095 - Saved By The Bell - 3x06 - Fourth of July (With Lindsey Kuhle)

It was too hard to pick one episode that exemplified the travesty the wannabe intellectual teen sex drama that was The Bedford Diaries. So we made the worst decision possible and watched the entire show. Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs to discuss the struggle of living life finding Milo Ventimiglia retroactively attractive in general and what to do if someone moves the Trapt poster.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
CENTRAL PARK CONFESSIONS: https://youtu.be/slO4BmGhxDA?t=7m42s
CONTROLLED SLIDE: http://bit.ly/2lmY1o5
OPENING CREDITS: https://youtu.be/wB3NR2joqpU
ANGEL CREDITS + OPENING CREDITS: http://bit.ly/2mmB5Hz
LIFE AS WE KNOW IT CREDITS: https://youtu.be/4ROdXysjNGg
THE CHAIR SCENE: https://youtu.be/_h2agkeNVR0?t=2m17s
TRAPT POSTER + HAIR CUT SCENE: https://youtu.be/7cIWxb9Ygq0

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E104 - The Bedford Diaries

No better time to introduce the concept of ghosts, monsters and other creatures of the night being real than the second season of your failing beach crime spin-off, right? Baywatch: Nights thought so.  Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs to discuss the whether nights ever were the same again.

AS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:
SON OF THE BEACH: http://imdb.to/2nsAYKj
ALLIGATOR NONSENSE: https://youtu.be/yecRaGyK99c
SOCIAL NETWORK TRAILER: https://youtu.be/rxY9fKgK5OQ
CREEPY KID SINGING SCHTICK: https://youtu.be/tmeOjFno6Do
CLIMBIN' BEAMS W/ MITCH B: http://bit.ly/2noYYgL
I CAN'T SEE THIS BRANCH IN MY FACE SCENE: http://bit.ly/2orWgsL
BAD ACTING QUICKSAND: http://bit.ly/2np0P5i
MS PAINT DOOR: http://imgur.com/a/Kerqh
THE CABIN IN 4 MINUTES: https://youtu.be/aagPT3vUUCU

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E105 - Baywatch: Nights - 2x06 - The Cabin

We're baaaa-aaack and ready to celebrate Halloween with a treat in place of our normal tricks to discuss the cinematic cult classic turned television cult classic: Clueless. Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs as we talk final girls, physical comedy heroics, and Sabrina: The Teenage Witch conspiracy theories.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:

MICHAEL LERNER: http://bit.ly/2gLXFHT
ARMY CRAWL/SCREAM EXTERIOR HOMAGE SCENE: https://youtu.be/mf5nnW1tP8o?t=42s
CREDITS: https://youtu.be/_FIbPJx7HJ4
EARLY AEROSMITH: https://youtu.be/89dGC8de0CA
THE STAIRCASE: http://bit.ly/2zQMkxH
THE FRYING PAN SCENE: https://youtu.be/WOeYC2bmntE?t=2m38s

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The Televoid Podcast

E107 - Clueless - 3x04 & 3x05 - Scream, Murray, Scream Pt. 1 & 2

Our resolution this year is to watch better Greg Berlanti super hero shows from this point forward. We revisited a super hero show outside the DC/Marvel canon that you probably don't remember because it was ironically, pretty ordinary, and watched No Ordinary Family. Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs and returning guest @itslisae to discuss the physics of fake claws, the economics of police sketch artistry, and the things we do for Autumn Reeser.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
BRADLEY COOPER SPEAKING FRENCH: https://youtu.be/L7v9ASXt2QA
GIMME THAT PILL: https://youtu.be/9KnnTWdaUyA?t=59m50s
PRISON BREAK: THE CONSPIRACY: http://bit.ly/2Cm8iuX
GROSS CLAW EFFECT: https://ibb.co/knKaCG

GET AN AMAZON GIFT CARD THIS HOLIDAY SEASON?
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E108 - No Ordinary Family - 1x18 - No Ordinary Animal (with Lisa Eastham)

1) He's too good at Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
2) I refuse to seek professional help about my total lack of communication skills. 
3) My friends are laissez-faire enablers.
4) The Televoid is back!
5) If you had to watch a TV show that ABC didn't think was fit to air, you'd take a break too.
6) He chose his sister to go in the ambulance with him instead of me!
7) It's so bad, you guys. That's a real plot point.
8) We missed you.

Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs as we watch the show that was cancelled after one episode: Emily's Reasons Why Not. 

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:

! SUPPORT LATOYA ! (get bonus eps of this podcast): patreon.com/lafergs

ENOUGH BRONZER TO RUIN SHEETS??: http://bit.ly/2LJlugs
GLITTER CHO THE GOD: http://bit.ly/2ostLwf
~*GIRL~ DATING*~ : https://i.imgur.com/GAkLDpe.png
MATCHMAKER LOGO: https://i.imgur.com/LeGbsoE.jpg
MATCHMAKER SOFTWARE: https://i.imgur.com/62Cmcpx.jpg
MATCHMAKER OWNER: https://i.imgur.com/PCN33TS.jpg
MATCHMAKER EMPLOYEES: https://i.imgur.com/gyAlCg3.jpg
ELAN: https://i.imgur.com/ZURnuWg.png

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E109 - Emily's Reasons Why Not

We took another stroll through the WB archives of forgotten one-season gems and watched all of #BlackSash! Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs as we discuss martial arts, Evanescence needle drops, and the benefits of channeling your inner rage into powerful lesbian energy.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
EVENT TELEVISION: https://youtu.be/I4bR-p1X46s
EVERY FRAME A PAINTING ON JACKIE CHAN: https://youtu.be/Z1PCtIaM_GQ
MISSY IN THE TUB: https://imgur.com/rbohnqX
GAYYYYY: http://bit.ly/2FDtf6C
DAMON & ELENA'S FOUNDER'S DAY DANCE: https://youtu.be/9ot5Ezkz0lM

PRE-ORDER LATOYA'S BOOK: http;//amzn.to/2EnvhHw
SUBSCRIBE TO LATOYA'S PATREON: http://bit.ly/2SvbsXK

E111 - Black Sash

We're back, babyyy! Jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire, we're starting off with the aptly titled Freddie Prinze Jr. vehicle, #Freddie! Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs as we discuss 2000s chef comedies, classism, and the avian flu.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
SHE'S ALL THAT - HACKY SACK SCENE: https://youtu.be/nb_-LuaT03k
KITCHEN CONFIDENTIAL: https://youtu.be/3uXv0anYsMU
HOUSE OF WAX: https://youtu.be/TBGdcqzKtlY

ORDER LATOYA'S BOOK: http://amzn.to/2EnvhHw
STAY TUNED! Previously unreleased episodes are on their way.

E112 - Freddie - 1x11 - Freddie the Himbo

Yes, that's right. We returned to the scene of the crime. Literally, a building was burned down and a very serious actor was injured by falling plaster debris! Also Paris Hilton's entire existence is basically a felony. Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs as they return to look again at MTV's Movie Life: House of Wax to discuss why the Padalecki hate has ceased, a reminder of what an alpha male is, and how this show is the perfect encapsulation of the 2000s.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:

PARIS HILTON'S REAL VOICE: https://youtu.be/ZqqAkp8zKp8
PARIS' VOICE AT THE PARTY: https://youtu.be/TBGdcqzKtlY?t=690
PARIS' VOICE MAKING BREAKFAST: https://youtu.be/TBGdcqzKtlY?t=1270
CHAD'S FREAKOUT: https://youtu.be/TBGdcqzKtlY?t=4527
PARIS' VOICE AT THE FLEA MARKET: https://youtu.be/TBGdcqzKtlY?t=5747
CLASH AT DEMONHEAD'S BLACK SHEEP: https://youtu.be/jtrmWnFAHYE

ORDER LATOYA'S BOOK: http://amzn.to/2EnvhHw
STAY TUNED! More previously unreleased episodes will be dropping throughout the next few weeks.

BONUS - MTV's Movie Life: House Of Wax (Revisited)

Time to wrap up our coverage of the second half of the season long chaos that took place on The Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Inferno. Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs as they finish the discussion talking about explosive tempers, our never-ending mutual hatred of Julie, and our new campaign to retroactively award CT an Emmy for the scene where he confronts Leah about her being sent to the Inferno.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
CT/LEAH BLOW UP: https://youtu.be/kcEgzvsNby8?t=889
CT/SHANE INFERNO: https://youtu.be/2V_lKLMT-8w?t=1481
JULIE WANTS TO FIGHT CORAL: https://youtu.be/iZDzZPUWdEE?t=945

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STAY TUNED! More new and previously unreleased episodes will be dropping during the next month.

BONUS: Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Inferno - Part 2

Into every generation a set of iconic twins is born: two girls in all the world, a chosen two. Unfortunately, the viewing audiences for The CW's Ringer disagreed and this show was swiftly cancelled after only one delightfully campy season. Get ready for us to make a strong argument why that was a huge mistake. Join your hosts @maurae and @lafergs as we talk about the perfect follow-up to our coverage of FPJ's star vehicle, Sarah Michelle Gellar's double roles as Bridget and Siobhan, along with plenty of digressions into basically every major dual role-based piece of media for the past ten years.

AS REFERENCED IN THE EPISODE:
MIRRORS, SYMBOLISM: https://i.imgur.com/C4gnYvY.mp4
GUN/HERMES SCARF DRAWER: https://i.imgur.com/bDPIRsM.mp4
TINY MAN ON THE STREET: https://i.imgur.com/NKN2M7H.mp4
AWFUL TAINTED LOVE: https://youtu.be/P8KnabjQKmw
HALLWAY CCTV SCENE: https://i.imgur.com/uNcgeW4.mp4
PLOT RECAP BY FBI AGENT: https://i.imgur.com/y2wOyUg.mp4
H20 JUST ADD WATER TIK TOKS: https://youtu.be/Gzs8s6ZVa2U
OUR H20 JUST ADD WATER EP: http://bit.ly/TTV-E032

ORDER LATOYA'S BOOK: amzn.to/2EnvhHw
STAY TUNED! Even MORE unreleased episodes are on their way.

E113 - Ringer - 1x01 & 1x12 - Pilot & What Are You Doing Here, Ho-Bag?

Introduction: The Televoid presents… The AMPire Diaries

“We know the risk, but we have to podcast…” (or some variation of that intro that will be constantly botched in the actual podcast… and I’m sorry for that — xoxo, Gossip Fergs)

Welcome to The AMPire Diaries: The Televoid’s Official Vampire Diaries recap and rewatch podcast. Hosted by longtime Vampire Diaries fans LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs) and Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich), alongside first-time viewer Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins), The AMPire Diaries is all about The Vampire Diaries… and getting absolutely AMPED to watch and talk about it. Yep, that’s the pun we went with.

Based on no evidence but our own opinions on our conversations during these podcast episodes, this is the only Vampire Diaries podcast where you can find in-depth critical discussion AND completely unhinged horniness about the series. That’s right: One second we’re talking about race or consent or mental illness in The Vampire Diaries, then the next, we’re talking about our crushes or who we really want to smooch in The Vampire Diaries. If you have layers, then this is the Vampire Diaries podcast for you.

In fact, here is what you can expect of the podcast, according to all three of the hosts:

LaToya, who is probably the least correct, says, “1/3 horniness, 1/3 bits, and 1/3 intelligent conversation about TVD.”

Jill says, “25% bits, 25% intelligent convo, 50% horny.”
And Morgan, who is probably the most correct, says, “40% horny, 10% unrelated pop culture, 30% bits, 20% discussions about the episodes.”

For the next few weeks, we will be dropping two episodes of The AMPire Diaries a week — dissecting two Vampires Diaries episodes per AMPire Diaries episode — before (hopefully) settling into a more chill groove of one episode a week. (Heads up: We pretty much recorded all of Season 1 and, while currently in-progress, probably all of Season 2 in a quarantine vacuum.)

In pretty much most of these episodes, we don’t properly plug things like iTunes ratings (5 stars, please) or where to find the podcast… but if you are listening to this podcast, you probably already know where and how to do all that. The AMPire Diaries: We won’t insult your intelligence.

(P.S. The AMPire Diaries' theme song is "More Whiskey" by Tendinite.)

The Televoid presents... The AMPire Diaries

The AMPire Diaries - 000 - Welcome to The AMPire Diaries...

The AMPire Diaries Episode 1: “Pilot” | “The Night of the Comet”

And so it begins: The AMPire Diaries. Naturally, it begins with the first two episodes of The Vampire Diaries, “Pilot” (Season 1, Episode 1) and “The Night of the Comet” (Season 1, Episode 2). It also begins (at least in these show notes) with the opening loglines for the official CW synopses for these episodes:

“DESIRE, HEARTBREAK, ENVY, REDEMPTION, FEAR, AND RAGE, BEGINS NOW” (“Pilot”)
“ELENA MEETS DAMON AND LEARNS ABOUT STEFAN'S PAST LOVE” (“The Night of the Comet”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? It’s gotta go to “Pilot.”

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED along with them on this journey. You just might learn something about yourself in the process.

The Official CW Promo for “Pilot”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5t1V8XG_JE
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Pilot”: A back to school thing at the Falls
The Official CW Promo for “The Night of the Comet”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qm8LRsgXb7s
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “The Night of the Comet”: The Night of the Comet Festival

The AMPire Diaries - 001 - Pilot | The Night of the Comet

The AMPire Diaries Episode 2: “Friday Night Bites” | “Family Ties”

Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, it’s now time for some “Friday Night Bites” (Season 1, Episode 3) and “Family Ties” (Season 1, Episode 4). You gotta love puns, but you’ve also gotta love The CW’s official loglines for these episodes:

“MYSTIC FALLS IS ROCKED BY VIOLENCE” (“Friday Night Bites”)
“YOU'RE INVITED TO A PARTY TO DIE FOR” (“Family Ties”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? It’s gotta go to “Family Ties.”

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

The Official CW Promo for “Friday Night Bites”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPPlUfGlMCU
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Friday Night Bites”: The Mystic Falls High Timberwolves vs. Central High Lions football game
The Official CW Promo for “Family Ties”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxTiect388w
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Family Ties”: Mystic Falls’ annual Founders’ Party

The AMPire Diaries - 002 - Friday Night Bites | Family Ties

The AMPire Diaries Episode 3: “You’re Undead to Me” | “Lost Girls”

Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, it’s now time for some “You’re Undead to Me” (Season 1, Episode 5) and “Lost Girls” (Season 1, Episode 6). Elena finds out the truth about vampires, Vicki becomes a vampire, and we also learn about Katherine from 1864 (who was, you guessed it, a vampire). Here are The CW’s official loglines for these episodes:

“NOTHING HURTS MORE, THAN THE TRUTH” (“You’re Undead to Me”)
“THE TRUTH CAN BE VERY, VERY DEADLY” (“Lost Girls”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? It’s gotta go to the one without the unnecessary comma. So, “Lost Girls.”

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

The Official CW Promo for “You’re Undead to Me”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDYiVdq_Z0k
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “You’re Undead to Me”: The Sexy Suds Car Wash
The Official CW Promo for “Lost Girls”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qgmlHjyD06E
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Lost Girls”: 1864 flashbacks and Vicki making the vampire transition

The AMPire Diaries - 003 - You're Undead to Me | Lost Girls

The AMPire Diaries Episode 4: “Haunted” | “162 Candles”

Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, it’s now time for some “Haunted” (Season 1, Episode 7) and “162 Candles” (Season 1, Episode 8). Vicki has a vampire costume and Stefan has a friend—both big moments in the series. Here are The CW’s official loglines for these episodes:

“A HALLOWEEN VICKI CAN SINK HER TEETH INTO” (“Haunted”)
“A HAPPY BIRTHDAY THAT WILL END IN TRAGEDY” (“162 Candles”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? Well, while “162 Candles” is quite honest, it’s gotta go to “Haunted” for the pun.

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

The Official CW Promo for “Haunted”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uv3MgO5wuOo
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Haunted”: The Mystic Falls High School Halloween party
The Official CW Promo for “162 Candles”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBmlCQIYZHg
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “162 Candles”: Caroline’s party at the Mystic Grill and Stefan’s birthday

The AMPire Diaries - 004 - Haunted | 162 Candles

The AMPire Diaries Episode 5: “History Repeating” | “The Turning Point”

Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, it’s now time for a little bit of “History Repeating” (Season 1, Episode 9) and “The Turning Point” (Season 1, Episode 10). Not only does this episode of The AMPire Diaries feature a message from your hosts from the future/present—because we recorded this episode back in April—it also has tangents about who on the podcast is Lea Michele’s #1 fan (back in April, of course), the constant disappointment of J.K. Rowling, and whether to watch Teen Wolf or not.

There is also some conversation about these two episodes of The Vampire Diaries.

“STEFAN LEARNS THE REASON DAMON RETURNED TO MYSTIC FALLS” (“History Repeating”)
“STEFAN AND DAMON HAVE SOME NEW COMPETITION” (“The Turning Point”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? “History Repeating” has the more “dun dun DUN…” logline, so it’s gotta be the more AMPED one.

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

The Official CW Promo for “History Repeating”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWwvu2G3TWc
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “History Repeating”: The Slumber Party Seance
The Official CW Promo for “The Turning Point”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSHFJPmsegQ
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “The Turning Point”: Career Night

The AMPire Diaries - 005 - History Repeating | The Turning Point

The AMPire Diaries Episode 6: “Bloodlines” | “Unpleasantville”

Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, we’re talking about “Bloodlines” (Season 1, Episode 11) and “Unpleasantville” (Season 1, Episode 12). Is Morgan also Jeremy Gilbert’s #1 fan? Was Elena wearing a Bump It? Are the Salvatore brothers really brothers? Are the hosts of this podcast idiots? Tune in to hear a resounding “YES!” to all of these questions and more.

“STEFAN UNCOVERS A STARTLING CLUE TO THE PAST” (“Bloodlines”)
“50s DANCE THAT WILL LEAVE YOU BREATHLESS” (“Unpleasantville”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? Honestly, neither are all that AMPED… which is ridiculous, because both of these episodes are AMPED. But “Unpleasantville” wins by default.

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

The Official CW Promo for “Bloodlines”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBwAISt3bWw
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Bloodlines”: Damon kidnapping Elena and taking her across state lines
The Official CW Promo for “Unpleasantville”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHzqiKv14xM
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Unpleasantville”: Mystic Falls High’s ‘50s Decade Dance
LaToya’s tweet to friend of the show Michael Chasin: https://twitter.com/lafergs/status/1249144182415020033

The AMPire Diaries - 006 - Bloodlines | Unpleasantville

The AMPire Diaries Episode 7: “Children of the Damned” | “Fool Me Once”

Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, we’re talking about “Children of the Damned” (Season 1, Episode 13) and “Fool Me Once” (Season 1, Episode 14). LaToya is possibly now Jeremy Gilbert’s #1 fan, Jill just keeps hating on flashbacks, and The Vampire Diaries says the words “leverage” and “doppelganger” for the very first time. Plus, stick around until the very end (meaning, past the end theme) of the podcast for a special treat.

“A BLAST FROM THE PAST” (“Children of the Damned”)
“SECRETS OF THE TOMB” (“Fool Me Once”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? Again, neither are all that AMPED… But my imagined cadence for “SECRETS OF THE TOMB” comes from this Key & Peele sketch (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxjNOv5QPzM), specifically once it gets to Passion of the Christ. So it wins on that alone.

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

The Official CW Promo for “Children of the Damned”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoDOj6DceQU
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Children of the Damned”: 1864, a very good year
The Official CW Promo for “Fool Me Once”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CNWn_dF9Og
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Fool Me Once”: Duke’s party
Vulture’s “This Week in Comedy Podcasts” feature: https://www.vulture.com/2020/06/this-week-in-comedy-podcasts-a-couples-therapy-revolution.html
Comedy Bang! Bang! + “A MAN’S GRAVE”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLwtBSxKWAM

The AMPire Diaries - 007 - Children of the Damned | Fool Me Once

The AMPire Diaries Episode 8: “A Few Good Men” | “There Goes the Neighborhood”

Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, we’re talking about “A Few Good Men” (Season 1, Episode 15) and “There Goes the Neighborhood” (Season 1, Episode 16). And boy do we have some questions. Would John Goodman make a good Giuseppe Salvatore? Who is “Bloodybecky”? Does Shay Mitchell have Canadian energy? Is Raising Helen a movie that exists? Did Damon “Damo” Salvatore and Carol “Carol” Lockwood have sex? Also, LaToya, Morgan, and Jill prepare for the “full Boy Time” that will be Episode 9.

“MOTHERS, BACHELORS AND BLOOD” (“A Few Good Men”)
“A NEW START” (“There Goes the Neighborhood”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? Mothers and bachelors and blood—oh my! “A Few Good Men” is truly AMPED.

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

The Official CW Promo for “A Few Good Men”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG57RikHqtg
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “A Few Good Men”: Mystic Falls Annual Founder’s Day Fundraiser Silent Auction Bachelor Raffle (yes, that is the official title)
The Official CW Promo for “There Goes the Neighborhood”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mI-EdL1cytY
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “There Goes the Neighborhood”: A normal teen double date and adults getting lit
“A Few Good Men” Deleted Kelly Donovan Scenes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-FtR_0EyvA
Playboy’s Miss June 1972: http://www.playmates.com/debbie-davis

The AMPire Diaries - 008 - A Few Good Men | There Goes the Neighborhood

The AMPire Diaries Episode 9: “Let The Right One In” | “Under Control” (feat. Michael Chasin)

Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, we’re talking about “Let The Right One In” (Season 1, Episode 17) and “Under Control” (Season 1, Episode 18). The AMPire Diaries’ resident boy, Michael Chasin (@MichaelChasin), makes his official debut on the podcast as a guest, and thus marks the start of several brand new bits, such as: teen death wish rankings, “slurp,” and what will now be known as “Boy Corner.”

“STEFAN, DAMON, ALARIC AND ELENA AGAINST TOMB VAMPIRES” (“Let The Right One In”)
“UNCLE JOHN AND HIS DARK SECRETS” (“Under Control”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? It’s got to go to the more AMPED episode, “Let The Right One In.”

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

The Official CW Promo for “Let The Right One In”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16PSoZxg8bg
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Let The Right One In”: The rescue mission for Stefan
The Official CW Promo for “Under Control”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBlzrI0UjMc
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Under Control”: Founders' Day Kick-off Party

The AMPire Diaries - 009 - Let The Right One In | Under Control (feat. Michael Chasin)

The AMPire Diaries Episode 10: “Miss Mystic Falls” | “Blood Brothers”

Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, we’re talking about “Miss Mystic Falls” (Season 1, Episode 19) and “Blood Brothers” (Season 1, Episode 20). This time around, the gals are talkin’ “ThE gILbErT cHaRm,” loving one trash man, how “Miss Mystic Falls” is like HBO’s Run, GIUSEPPE, and the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode “Amends.” See? A lot of Vampire Diaries talk.

ALSO: LaToya and Morgan end up potentially getting both themselves and the podcast canceled in this episode. Please stick around to the end to see if they convince you not to cancel them.

“A GALA SO BLOODY, YOU'LL BE WEARING RED” (“Miss Mystic Falls”)
“THE HATRED BEGINS, IN THE PAST” (“Blood Brothers”)

The more AMPED logline this time around? HOLY SHIT, “Miss Mystic Falls” is absolutely AMPED.

Whether you’re a Vampire Diaries obsessive or newcomer, join along with hosts LaToya Ferguson (@lafergs—Vampire Diaries obsessive), Morgan Lutich (@LorganMutich—Vampire Diaries obsessive), and Jill Defiel (@jiilbobaggins—Vampire Diaries newcomer) on their new podcast journey. Most importantly, get AMPED (and horny) along with them on this journey. Ya gotta get AMPED.

The Official CW Promo for “Miss Mystic Falls”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czyfAttVfi0
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Miss Mystic Falls”: Miss Mystic Falls
The Official CW Promo for “Blood Brothers”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiHCE8cSKiQ
The Mystic Falls Event of the Week for “Blood Brothers”: 1864, a very good year… yet again

The AMPire Diaries - 010 - Miss Mystic Falls | Blood Brothers

The AMPire Diaries now has its own official podcast feed, Twitter, and website:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/AMPDiariesPod
Website: https://theampirediariespod.com/

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ampire-diaries/id1521539228

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5nBcK1Rqd5OKUZwLl6ZNkt

Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/the-ampire-diaries

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/theampirediaries

The Televoid Presents... The AMPire Diaries

An Official AMPire Diaries Announcement

We travel to the deepest depths bad TV has gone. Join hosts Maura Kate & LaToya on their journey to the bottom of the broadcast barrel. 


The Televoid

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