Mwahahahahahaha. Do you like my evil laugh? I had it made specially. We delve into the blackest pit of unspeakable horrors for this week’s instalment. Ernst Stanro Blofeld has issues with parking, Dr. Henry Speagles can’t get a word in edgeways with chat show host Angela, English teacher Mr. Banks gives Shakespeare a chuffing good kick up the arse, oh and two hoody druggie types quantify the metric differences in their gear. One thing’s for certain - it’s going to get f***ing weird.

- Sketches -
“SPECTRE – Parking” by Steve Connolly
“The Humanitarian” by Jeff Nolan
“The Pain Of The Imperial System Of Measurement” by Thomas Compton
“The Bastard Bard” by Barry Wood

All sketches performed by Daniel Cope, Tom Critch, Rob Dean & Rachel Mason

Episode 29

Some say Chuck Norris is a legend. Others say Barry Scott is a God. That is bullcrap. A colossal colossus of elemental proportions strides through this world, and he goes by the name – Ronald Walken. Ok so he’s changed his first name to Christopher in the years since big whoop! And how is Ronald spending his week? He’s on a desert island. No wait! He’s teaching children how to hack tech. No wait! He’s smashing GCSE English! And taking in orphaned parrots! Wow! What a guy!

- Sketches -

“Desert Island Deaths” by Jonathon Hopper

“My First Hacker Kit” by Scott Castle

“English Exam” by James Finegan

“The Rescue Parrot” by Niall McSperrin

All sketches performed by Daniel Cope, Tom Critch, Rob Dean & Rachel Mason

Episode 30

It’s a God awful small affair – for the midget without a chair...

- Sketches -
“Captain Heroman – Parts I & 2” by Robbie Sunderland
“Cheesy Chomp” by Scott Castle

All sketches performed by Daniel Cope, Tom Critch, Rob Dean, Alex Flitcroft, Tony Scott George & Rachel Mason

"The Unending Saga Of Captain Heroman (Parts 1 & 2)"

As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a gangster. But thank God for careers advisors! I’m now a thrice married Quantity Surveyor with two kids four cats and a shed full of illegally imported kamado dragons. But enough about me it’s almost bloody Christmas! Deck the halls and shine your balls because head Elf Joey ‘Buttons’ Spilotro is our guide on this festive quest of funny! This week we’ve got drug mules, hardcore S&M with Miss. Elizabeth Bennet, more sketch shop clichés than you can shake a candy cane at and another visit to Blofeld’s lair.

- Sketches -

“Drug Mules” by Peter Richard Adams
“Fifty Shades Of Austen” by Jonathan Hopper
“Sketch Shop Sketch” by Neville Ackerley
“SPECTRE – Bailiff” by Steve Connolly

All sketches performed by Abey Bradbury, Daniel Cope, Rob Dean, Alex Flitcroft & Tony Scott George

Episode 31

At this special time of year, when the rosy cheeks of wide eyed youngsters the world over peer hopefully into bright lights of festive cheer, it’s important to remember that children are awful. Relatives are hideous, fun is bad for your health and generosity goes against our innate evolutionary instincts. So what does matter? I’ll tell you what matters! Ken Loach, stopping ducks from running riot, and keeping an eye on the planets of our solar system because you never know what those vastly bulbous galactic bastards are plotting. That’s what matters! So sit back, pour yourself a stiff one and bask in the utter verbal bollocks of The Wireless Show.
 
- Sketches -

“Celluloid Dreams” by Oliver Cuenca & Tom Nel
“Insecure Fred & His Rather Posh Bread” by Matt Humphrey
“Angry Planets” by Janine Poole

All sketches performed by Abey Bradbury, Daniel Cope, Rob Dean, Alex Flitcroft, Tony Scott George & Mark Till

Episode 32

Brand new year brand new nonsense! This week an absolute living legend – Maurice Joseph Micklewhite – takes us on a whistle-stop tour of British life in the 21st century. We’re dining at John’s home, sorry, John’s Café *ahem*. The Right Honourable judges Tom, Dick & Harry face criminal scum and verbal incontinence, hard boiled US cop Rock Steele gets the mother of all transfers, and contestants on hot new game show ‘Do You?’ get the chance to – well we’re not entirely sure what they get the chance to but it’s still ruddy bloody exciting! Ready? Then let’s roll!

- Sketches -  

“English Café Sketch” by Mark Cowling
“Delivering Justice And Things” by Alf Oldman
“Rock Steele” by Liam Kelly
“Do You Sketch” by Robbie Sunderland

All sketches performed by Abey Bradbury, Daniel Cope, Tom Critch, Rob Dean, Alex Flitcroft & Tony Scott George

Episode 33

Remember them there halcyon days when all footballers did was play football? *sighs* ahhh them were t’days! But them days are gone so shut your big nostalgic trap and get with the programme sister! Fancy taking Godzilla on a date? Good! Want to give Captain Birdseye a loan for his latest Artic expedition? YOU DAMN WELL BETTER HONKY! Oh and we’re down at ‘Memory Club’ with Clive and the gang to…actually I’ve plum forgot what we’re down there for. What am I like! I’m a twunt that’s what I’m like.

- Sketches - 

“Monster Dates” by Jonathan Hopper
“He Only Spoke Russian” by Kate Smith & Rachel Genn
“Memory Club” and “Captain Birdseye’s New Expedition” by Peter Richard Adams

All sketches performed by Daniel Cope, Katie Cope, Tom Critch, Rob Dean, Alex Flitcroft, Tony Scott George, Kim Scopes, Mark Till & Christopher Ward

Episode 34

Wotcha old Fruit Gum! 'aw the bloomin' devil 're ya? This bubble and squeak on Wireless there's Cockney geezers givin' us a lesson in manners, the ole Amazon Alexa gives golden doves young dream a ruddy clobberin', the ole Bills new outfit Pedal Cycle Squad get taken for a Charlie Pride, and things daahhhn at Stan's Stick Insect store get pretty Fore & Aft.

- Sketches –
“Alexa” by Neville Ackerley
“A Cycle Of Crime” by Alf Oldman
“A Sticky Problem” Peter Richard Adams

All sketches performed by Daniel Cope, Katie Cope, Rob Dean, Alex Flitcroft, Tony Scott George, Kim Scopes, Mark Till & Christopher Ward

Episode 35

We’ve got bags of dramas this week. Bags of drama, overnight holdalls of comedy and hand luggage suitcases choc to the gills with absolute verbal bollocks. Award winning 86-part series ‘Has Anyone Seen The F***ing Police’ gets off on the wrong foot and then falls over on the other, the good people of Salem draw on their more sinister history to get the tourist trade in, and the full horror of WWII is explored in a two bedroom flat in Preston. Oh and Stan The Man vents his canine woes through the majesty of song. Oh what joy for thine ears!

- Sketches -
“Get Lost – Parts 1 & 2” by Alf Oldman
“A Hound” lyrics by Rag’N’Bone Man (sullied by Tom Critch)
“Salem” by Peter Richard Adams
“World War Two Drama” by Mark Till 

All sketches performed by Daniel Cope, Katie Cope, Tom Critch, Rob Dean, Alex Flitcroft, Tony Scott George, Kim Scopes, Mark Till & Christopher Ward

Episode 36

Would Batman need a SatNav to get to Crinklewood Cottage and commit murder? Why does murder sound so good in a Scottish accent? And whilst we’re on the subject why do all TV Detectives have such shambolic personal lives? All of these questions and more will be left completely and totally unanswered. Welcome to Wireless Town kids, please guffaw responsibly.

- Sketches -
“Batmen Of Many Nations” by Adam Martin
“SatNav” by Katie Cope
“Murder At Crinklewood Cottage” by Paul Adam Levy

All sketches performed by Daniel Cope, Katie Cope, Tom Critch, Rob Dean, Alex Flitcroft, Tony Scott George, Kim Scopes, Mark Till & Christopher Ward

Episode 37

Comedy. Sketches. Awful accents. 

A fortnightly comedy sketch show supplying you with micro bites of funny business. Go on, give your ears something to bleed about . . .

All sketches performed by Shakera Ahad, Abey Bradbury, Caitlin Clough, Daniel Cope, Katie Cope, Tom Critch, Rob Dean, Alex Flitcroft, Matthew Gabrielli, Tony Scott George, Gary Lunt, Rachel Mason, Kim Scopes, Emily Spowage, Mark Till, T Walker, Christopher Ward & Jamie Williamson

All sound effects and editing courtsey of Justin Wetherill at AtmoSounds (http://www.atmosounds.co.uk/)

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