I’ve traveled the world, been everywhere.
I love the ladies but I just don’t care.
Life’s too short to say I’ve never been to Baltimore.
‘Cause the same old same old just makes me bored.

Chorus:
Life’s too short to say I never sucked a dick.
I guess I’m straight, but what of it?
We’re all somewhere between a Kinsey 0 or 6.
If you don’t like it you can…

Eat a whole bag of dicks!

Heteroflexable? Naw, I’m just me.
I go to pride ‘cause it’s a fucking party.
They aren’t my gay friends, they’re just my friends.
& yes barkeep… I’ll have another Rev!

Chorus II:
Life’s too short to say I never sucked a dick.
I guess I’m straight, but what of it?
We’re all somewhere between a Kinsey 0 or 6.
If you don’t like it you can… 

Eat a bag of dicks!
A whole bag of dicks!
A giant bag of dicks!
Dicks! Dicks! Dicks! Dicks!
Dicks! Dicks! Dicks! Dicks! Dicks! Dicks! Dicks! Dicks!
DICKS! 

Life's To Short (to say i never sucked a dick)

Byron the trolle
He lives in a hole
Under a bridge
He's got twelve kids
That he feeds off of scraps
Dumpster diving perhaps
Is not the best way
To spend your day

Byron the trolle moved on out of his shanty
Because christian morals from a Negative Nancy
Wouldn't work on him 
Now he could begin 
Living the life of...

BYRON THE TROLLE x4

With space eel teeth
He'll burrow beneath
The systems cracks
Just farm some Flax 
For room and board
He's widely adored 
Not just for his cock
But also his blue grass folk punk rock

Byron the trolle moved on out of his shanty
Because christian morals from a Negative Nancy
Wouldn't work on him 
Now he could begin 
Living the life of...

BYRON THE TROLLE x4

So, when it's your turn to move on out of your shanty
Because of christian morals from a brain washed nazi
Just take a hint from him
It's your turn to begin
Living the life of...

BYRON THE TROLLE x4

Byron The TrollE

One horned, scourge of the forest.
Wild woodlands creature, of purity & grace.
Highly sought after, we need to capture,
So we can punch it in its stupid face.

Since the renaissance & middle ages.
We set a unicorn traps, just to be dicks.
To cook some unicorn pot pie,
Or hunt them to extinction, just for kicks.

Chorus:
I hate unicorns! Fuck unicorns!
I hate unicorns! & Fuck their porn.

Interpretations of the unicorn myth,
Focus on medieval lore.
Can be a little tough in unicorn chili
So slow cook it some more.

Captive bolt pistol right between the eyes,
Or 20000 volts up the butt hole!
It’s simple, we need…
To kill them all & turn their horns into dildos.

Chorus: 

The World Famous Tallboys

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