my dream girldoesnt exist cause iam a volcel

I Love You

When you get to the top
I hope you get pushed down 
If you ever get lost
I hope you’re never found 
You love to hear yourself talk
About how you’re so great
When you’re feeling so hot
I hope you realize it’s fake

You’re always acting
Nothing that you say is true
You’re not a good friend
There’s a reason no one likes you
You play a victim
Because That’s all you know how to do
I don’t care that I win
Just as long as you lose

When you start doing well
I hope you burn in hell
When things start going your way
I hope it ends in dismay
I used to not be this mad
But you made me feel this wrath
Now I just hope that you die 
And I will never comply

I hope all of your friends
Stop playing along 
I wish you wouldn’t pretend
That you did nothing wrong 
It’s not that hard to admit
But you’re fucked and stupid
I hope someday you realize
The weight of What you did

Bitch

Math the Band Cover

Do you think that you know me?
Do you think that I’m alive and doing well?
You must know me better than myself
It’s not hard to listen
And take for granted that you know what you’re talking about
You must know me better than myself

But people wanna know
I'm not talking, I'm not talking
Yeah, people wanna know
I'm not talking, I'm not talking

People wanna know
I'm not talking, I'm not talking
Yeah, people wanna know
I'm not talking, I'm not talking

I know that you’re talking
Put 'em up, put 'em up, put 'em up, put 'em put 'em up
I know that you’re talking, 'cause I got your phone call
I know that you’re talking
Put 'em up, put 'em up, put 'em up, put 'em put 'em up
I know that you’re talking, 'cause I got your phone call
(Got your phone call, got your phone call)
(Got your phone call, got your phone call)
(Got your phone call, got your phone call)
(Got your phone call, got your phone call)

Four to Six

QNASTY!xSQUATTY forget about it cuh (PAUL WALKER SWAG)

Day Of Flight

every star
you can see in the sky
has frozen over 
now so
dont wake me up,
dont turn on the light
dont come through the doorway

through winding sheets
in the summer nights heat
i saw eyes in the darkness
looking at me 
little tiny people
making little machines
i watched them work all night
increasing their size

subway lines connect the stations, it was all laid out like constellations
that's how a new moon got found, it was in the tunnels, underground
we put the pieces in passenger cars, to different places, far apart
that's how it starts

water and sunlight
is all that they need
they make cocoons made of wax
and plasticine they 
come from darker places
than i've ever seen
with clear open skies
that look so clean

subway lines connect the stations, all laid out like constellations
that's how a new moon got found, it was in the tunnels underground
we put the pieces in passenger cars, to different places far apart
that's how it starts

la la la la la la la, la la la, la la la la la, la la la, la la la la la la la la, la la la, la la la la, la la la

Air Chrysalis

ultraviolet ultraviolence, bleeding the full color spectrum
＼＼\\٩( 'ω' )و //／／

A collaboration between myself and And Cowboys (Canada). This originally started as one song (Kokoro) for a compilation album for Asian Glow's discord server. AC reached out to me after I had stated I was open to collaborating with someone and sent me his music. I was very impressed, and surprised that he was so underappreciated. We made Kokoro together last year, and the first version released on New Year's Day, 2023. The version uploaded then was largely incomplete and I wanted to redo it (you can still listen to it if you look for it), and whilst in the process of doing it I suggested that we just make a whole EP. AC sent me some of his unused project ideas and I built on them and sent them back, and he would build on those. This repeated until we had 4 songs done (both parts of Manta Raves were originally in one song). We had never met in person during all of this, and it was done entirely through Discord communication and Google Drive file sharing.

Ontan was one of my listeners a few years prior and eventually I found their art and followed them off of that. She offered to make me art for any type of musical project I need it for. Apparently, she knew about AC already from a Number Girl fan discord or something, so I thought she would be a great fit for this project. Small world huh?

I am very proud of how it all came together, and I'm forever grateful to AC and Ontan for their patience with me and contributions on this project!!! It feels like we all worked really hard together on a group project in community college and got an A+... 

ENJOY!!! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) <3

Manta Raves (一​)

i got all dolled up just for this adventure
with wings of wax and war paint across my nose
to look my best when you're taking my picture
i never thought i'd have to stoop so low

i'm gonna bury you under the moon
i know i'm flying too close to the sun
but that's the thing that separates me from you
i do the things that still have to be done

it smells of smoke
it burns! it burns like flame!
it makes me choke
it hurts! it hurts like hell!
the fireworks are lighting up my face
don't tell heaven just how far i fell

i tried and failed to kill my own ego
all i know is that i'll never be a hero
sorry that i hurt everything i touch
i hate that!
i hate that i hate so much
pretty people don't act so violent
pretty, pretty people sit there in silence
i want to be loved like you
should i keep my mouth shut tight too?
what does it take to be respected?
what will it take for me to be accepted?
i'm full of fury and i know it
pretty boys don't feel these emotions

i don't deserve to be seen
i am not a human being
when i rot, i'll rot alone
harmonize with marigolds

would the flowers that i grow
from my flesh and blood and bone
be loved more than i ever will?
or would i be a villain still?
tulips don't cause any harm
and daisies won't leave you with scars
if that's true, i'll die in dirt
and become one with mother earth

orchids, lilies, dahlias, hydrangeas
chrysanthemums, poppies and camellias
sunflowers and lilacs, roses too
all peppered with the morning dew

Kokoro

1988 Philly compilation on the Apex label. 

Song No. 15 - Ornamental Wigwam

Lovely Little World - my dream girl dont exist

what the hell is that supposed to mean anyway?

listen to the coke child here: soundcloud.com/cokeisdead

Lovely Little World - my dream girl dont exist

the world

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