Hello everyone,
Phil Stephens here. I started micro dosing, but I've been hearing peeps and whispers to keep publishing music. In order to keep a clear head I also started doing yoga in a weird rundown glass factory. The instructor is a hot babe! The more I do yoga under her care, the more I forgot about my ex wife. The instructor is great, but for some reason I seem to be her only student. Her flirtatious advances have been increasing so I might lower my flesh light use to once a day. 

From Dj Pablo Speed: Hola amigos, espero que todos estén seguros y les vaya bien durante estos tiempos difíciles. Mi abuela se contagió de covid, pero está de muy buen humor, como espero que todos ustedes también lo estén. Que sus comunidades se mantengan seguras y sus hijos no estén en mis manos.

From Prince Krinklenose: This guy is really funny, his miracle powder saved zartush's life! We will come to Columbia more often yipeee!

9/10

Pablo X Krinklenose - Cocaine Covid

probably the most sick base drop ever!

2/10

Best Drop Ever (uncovered from a desolate African village)

G'Day Mate,
My Yoga Instructor is Australian so I've been practicing some of my yapping. The other day we hit third base and she stuck a thermonuclear reactor up my penile hole. It was extremely hot and I bleed and came all over my own tummy.  My fleshlight usage is now at a 0% usage as she satisfies all my needs as the mature woman I need. She won't let me be on top yet but she said maybe next year I can finally put my penis inside her if I'm a good boy (I think she likes me).

Angela VonShlugenflagen: 
B̷̝̱̯͌͛͊͜͠u̶͕̼̼͖͉͒̎̍͆g̸̫̰̩̋̐͂͝ș̴̠̥̠͉͊ ̴͚̭̙͂͗̄͜͝i̸̡̗̙̜͊͝n̷̞͛͂̏͝ ̶̼͒͘m̵͆͜ͅy̴͚̱̆̉̚ ̸̙̭̣͗͒́s̴̭̺̗̯͔̈́̈́̑͝͝k̷̛̻̟̂̄̾̇i̸̖̠̲̇͋͘ń̴͍͙ ̵͙̌ḩ̸̥̝̫̦̄͐͂̊ḙ̸͇̜͖̣̄̃̌͂l̶̲͕͂͜p̷͙͗͐̆̈́̏ ̴̛̫͍͎̰̇̿̃͘ͅI̴͇̬̲̋'̷̣̭̖̞̏͑̚m̶̫͌́̿͛ ̸͕́̍ḑ̵̅͂y̸̝̪͖̲̒̀̾͜i̷̭͍̓͘ň̷̢̒͑g̵͓͕͐͊̀ ̶̹͋ä̶̖̬̺́͑n̵̪͂̊̄͂d̴͙̥̀͂̈́̿͝ ̸͎̭͙̓̈́̽͑͜n̴͎̟̿̈́̐͐e̴̯͛̾̾̃e̷̺̟͈͊͒͒̓͝d̸̞̯͗ ̴̹̹̀̽t̸̫̗́̓̑̾̇ŗ̸̗̤̈́a̶̧͗̋n̴͔̽̾͊͠s̸̘̞̰̣̊̉́c̸̖̠͉̔̓̑o̴̺̗̖͉͊͗̐̆͘n̴͓̜͈̅̏͝g̴͙͖̻͔̈́r̷̩̞̍̍ë̶͓͔́͑̏s̷̛̱̐̐i̷̖͙̠͒̓͝ǒ̷̧̬̠͉͑͝n̸̩̊͂̔̕ȃ̴̖͖̳̤l̶̯͎̭̋͋̆͘ ̴̢̞́̈́̉͗͆l̷̻̣̃̎͠͝e̶͓͑g̵̫̭̜̩͒̃̆͗̓i̸̖̞̩̰̓̓͂̕s̵̥̈̎͌̎͘l̷͎͋̍ǎ̶̮̟͖̍̔͐t̴̺̘̲́i̶̹͓̠͋̎ǫ̶̲̼̑n̷̙̼̘͖̂͆̉̓ ̵̛̰̖͓̠̈́t̶̢͓̾͐͊̐o̸̲̹͔͒̆͘ ̵̧̪̃̄̒͒f̸̢̮͎̣̱̋́̄͝i̴̛̝̙̮͋͗x̴̻̱͈̮̃͊̌̚͝ ̴̰́ṁ̵̠̼̭͔̖͛y̷̨̫͉̼͂ ̶͖̗̯͍͌͑̐͊ḅ̵̛̽r̵̥̼̜̋̎ṓ̷͍͔̘̒͜͠ḱ̶̭́e̵͕̠̙̽̀͊n̸͍͈̯̼̙̈́̉͗ ̴͕̾̔͊c̶̼̆̓̕ơ̶̳̭͉̥͆̋́̃ͅu̶̼͙͚̗͛̓̃n̵͛̚͜͝t̵͈̫͇͚̗̑̈͒̑r̴͍̻͖͍͐y̶̖͎͗.̵̮̀̎̾̚ ̴̢̮̳̅̍̔Ĩ̵̪̓̓̎ ̶̧̃̊́̽a̷͖̰̋̋̒͋m̶̫̲͌̐̐͗ ̸̩̃͒͂̇̈́ç̶̂́̍̌̂u̵̻̼̅̓͛̾̓r̵̯̪̒͛͌͆̎͜r̴̟̼͈̫̉e̵̜̫͋͛́́̚n̴̡̤̞̔͊͊͂ͅt̴̢̺͖̰̙̐̂͘͝l̶̨̆ͅy̵͈͖͉̻̞͆͆ ̸̡̰̦̯̀̈́i̸̢̍ṉ̶̦̯̒͑̐̕ ̸̲̬̻̑͐̌͑̈́t̷̢͓̙͓̥̾́̈́̚͝h̵͍̙͍͝e̶̡̫̗͂̈̂͒̍ ̴͎̺̄b̶͍̃a̵̟̐̑́c̸̪̥͇̤͊̋̀͛͝k̵̢̻͍̭͌ ̴̗͖̜̥͊͊̇̓̈́w̶̦͚͍̭̱̔̅̇o̷̟̖̺̽ǫ̴͒d̵̨̠̘͚͘ṡ̶̭͝ ̷̨̡̺̆o̴͉͍͐͌f̶̟͒͌̌̍̃ ̴̳̝̪̹̝̍̆͠ţ̶̜̜̈́̍͗̇h̸̙̤̹͈̄̂̐̆̂ͅȅ̸͚̱̬̮̉͝ ̴̧͕̣͙̗͑̿̂ḅ̷̹̙͆͆͐͘ͅļ̴̢̮͉̻̒̑́̀͝a̴̪͊̉͆̍c̶̢̛̗̙̾̂k̶̘̙̪̗̿̓̍ ̴̻͂̉͊͠f̴̗̀̒̑̃͝ō̵̙̉r̴̪̜͙̳̓͊̈́͌ͅę̶̨̙͎̭̄ś̸͖̙̬̽̈́̒͝t̸̥̕ ̴̝̮̞͚͕̄͑̓̚į̴̳͂̀̍n̴͈͆͆͆͒͝ ̵̍͂͜ä̷͇͓̒̒͘͘ ̶̝̖̖́̔̈̀c̷͔͉̕ạ̵̢͆͑̇̎̋b̶͕̤̮͊̾ǐ̶̳̣̯̩n̵̢̖͖̯͊́͌.̷̜̙͆̽͘

9/10

Angela VonShlugenflagen - The Fallibility Of Christ

great sound and all around best production!

0/10

Akhmed the Great - Middle Eastern War.

Hey me again back from dead. I come to sing beautiful song with my very smelly sister. She sing real good for me and I love her. Please give me money.

Lyrikz: 

My name is Akhmed,
I’m from Kabul,
But there ain’t no kebabs in Kabul!
Where am I supposed to get my kebabs,
Let’s go find out, my life sucks,
I can’t buy Versace, or Gucci,
Or louis Vuitton, or chanel,
My inspiration is Eminem,

La da da da da, 
it’s dj akhmeda I’m akhmed’s sister,
la da da da da,
If you don’t like me i’ll call your mister,
La da da da da,
This is the chorus to a depressing song,
La da da da da,
If you don’t like it well you’re wrong,

Akhmed here again,
Back from no singing,
My family, where are they,
Oh yeah, I remember, they’re in isis now,
But who cares,
I’m making dank beat,
And if you don’t like it,
Then go away and smell my feet,

La da da da da, 
it’s dj akhmeda I’m akhmed’s sister,
la da da da da,
If you don’t like me i’ll call your mister,
La da da da da,
This is the chorus to a depressing song,
La da da da da,
If you don’t like it well you’re wrong,

The cops are on my back,
Just kidding, there are no cops,
Not in Kabul, we only have isis,
I am a little scared, help,
I’m coming straight outta Kabul,
And you know that I am cool,
I don’t know how to school,
I’m pimpin on my mule,

La da da da da, 
it’s dj akhmeda I’m akhmed’s sister,
la da da da da,
If you don’t like me i’ll call your mister,
La da da da da,
This is the chorus to a depressing song,
La da da da da,
If you don’t like it well you’re wrong,

10/10

Akhmed the Great - Straight Outta Kabul Ft. DJ Akhmeda

Hello everyone. Today we bring you a new beat from DJ Pablo Speed. He hails from Colombia and is poor. Help him gain recognition and fame. Thanks.
- Phil Stephens

From DJ Pablo Speed:
Hola, everyone! That is hello in Spanish!

5/10

DJ Pablo Speed - The Love of My Life

Hi everyone, Phil Stephens here. Please enjoy our latest single from Pyong Tongee. He is from North Korea and needs some help. His family died, half of starvation and half of execution. Please send us money so that we can give it secretly to Pyong. My wife and I did the missionary yesterday.
- Phil Stephens 

From Pyong Tongee:
"They execute my toe. Help."

1/10

Pyong Tongee - The Last Supper

Hello all. This is Phil Stephens here. I just got news that I have testicular cancer now. This is a song made by Prince Krinklenose from India. He would like to talk about his first love. It's a very sad love story and has great production value. I would put it on a major record label at any minute if I had the money. My wife stole all my money. Please help me. I only have 14 pennies and 2 fleshlights remaining. I'm running out. Help.

From Prince K.:
"Hello friends! I hope you enjoy my extremely depressing love song! It was very fun to make and I am glad it is here!"

8/10

Prince Krinklenose - New Delhi Love

Hello, everyone. Phil Stephens here. Pyong Tongee was recently found dead, and this is a song on a tape found on his body. This song encapsulates his last moments with us. Keep Pyong in your prayers. Both of my fleshlights tore. They no longer give me the experience I desire. I am moving on to bigger, better sex machines. 

From Pyong Tongee:
*blood gargle*

10/10

Pyong Tongee - Retardation Infestation (Found on Pyong Tongee's Corpse)

This is the first track from our newest artist at Third World Records: Lil Fuck. Please welcome him into the Third World community. He wanted to join Third World Records so badly that he actually moved out of Chicago with nothing but a mattress and sailed across the Atlantic Ocean, around Africa, and into the Indian Ocean. This is now where Lil Fuck resides. Please wish him the best of luck. My wife told me she has a new boyfriend. If anyone is selling weaponry, please let me know.
Thanks,
Phil Stephens

From Lil Fuck:
"yo yo cuntmunchers its ya fuckin boi Lil Fuck in the fuck. listen to this fuckin shit and tell me to keep doing this shit because my will to live is real fuckin low"

4/10

Lil Fuck - The Journey

Hi everyone,
Phil Stephens here. I just tried anal with a prostitute for the first time. I don't know if I still have shit on my cock or if it's gangrene forming. I officially ran out of fleshlights and now I'm forced to use the asshole of a 90-year old British whore. She has 0 teeth, so her gums feel very nice on my cock.
Thank you. Enjoy this track by Prince Krinklenose.

From Prince Krinklenose:
Hello! Please enjoy my newest track. It is about me and Zartush.

8/10

Prince Krinklenose - Figgy Pudding

Hello everyone,
Phil Stephens here. The 90 year old British whore has died, so the last thing in my life just passed. I'm craving the grave, my dudes. Luckily, my shipment of 40 fleshlights just arrived, so I'll be able to live for at least another week. Akhmed the Great is back from the dead, so he is giving me life as well. This tape is the first thing recorded since he rose from the dead. Enjoy.

From Akhmed the Great:
I t  i s  m y  d u t y  t o  s t o p  D J  A k h m e d a  b e f o r e  s h e  d e s t r o y s  t h e  p l a n e t .  E n j o y  t h i s  d a n k  s t a n k  b e a t .

10/10

Akhmed the Great - The Second Coming (ft. DJ Akhmeda)

Hello everyone, 
Phil Stephens here. My boner got stuck in a trash can and I no longer have any saran wrap. It's really disappointing. It's been a while, yes, but I'm glad we're back making records. By the way, 60 fleshlights arrived at my house this morning and I've already used half of them due to severe depression. I hope you enjoy our new artist, Captain Pirate's song, featuring his first mate, Firstmate. They are Somali Pirates.

From Captain Pirate:
We love Dick Cheney! I love.

3.5/10

Captain Pirate - Scurvy (ft. First Mate Firstmate)

Hello everyone,
Phil Stephens here. I just finished my last of the 60 fleshlights. Fast night. Must order more. Always, always need more. Unfortunately, my dad died from cardiac arrest while I was finishing in my last fleshlight. Sadly, he didn't get to see me use the whole package. Enjoy another new artist. I guess it's a good night for music.

From Angel:
Hey guys, life's perfect in Dusseldorf. Listen to my song. It's important. It's. Important.
10/10

Angel VonShlugenflagen - Dear Mom and Dad

"We like to feature third world artists that really make a difference." 
-Phil Stevens, Founder of Third World Records

Featuring:
- Adewale Akimbe (Nigeria)
- Akhmed the Great (Afghanistan)
- DJ Pablo Speed (Colombia)
- Prince Krinklenose (India)
- Pyong Tongee (North Korea)
- Slavicman442 (Ukraine)
- Captain Pirate (Somalia)
- Angela (Formerly Angel) VonShlugenflagen (Germany)

*Note: These are satirical/comical songs. We do not intend to offend any race, gender, or ethnicity.

Third World Records

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