None of us asked to be here. Nobody offered us a choice over our gender, race, body type, looks, upbringing, preferences, idiosyncrasies and inherent skills, yet here we are whether we like it or not. So, the million-dollar question is, "What the hell do we do with this strange and awkward thing called life?"

None of us asked to be here, so what are we to do with the life we have?

Standing in the immigration queue at O R Thambo airport on one of my regular trips back south, I watch the strangest scene unfold.

A brief encounter between two women sums up South Africa's racial tensions.

Juxtaposed against the outer world lies an inner world full of imagination and abstraction, a rich world of raw emotion, a cauldron of lust, holiness, inspiration, insightfulness, depravity and terror. To some this is a private sanctuary, to others it is their place of imprisonment. Which is it for you?

Is your inner world your sanctuary, or your prison?

This story about Thomas Budge's struggle to triumph over discrimination is one that must be told, not only to expose harmful religious doctrines but to provide encouragement to the many, many victims of margin­alisation, victim­isation, and expulsion from society because they had no say over their difference from what some consider to be the norm.

When you mention "podcast" in South Africa, the image that often comes to mind is an interview. Yet, the team at Baird Media is challenging this norm by embarking on an ambitious project to produce South Africa's first feature-length audio drama podcast.

Stripped delves into the true story of Thomas Budge, a courageous young man who, in 1971, bravely defied conscription into the apartheid military due to his unwavering religious convictions. Raised as a Jehovah's Witness, Thomas staunchly adhered to the teachings instilled by his mother and the organisation's elders, steadfastly opposing the idea of bearing arms.

His principled stance led to imprisonment in the now-demolished Military Detention Barracks (DB) in Voortrekkerhoogte (Thaba Tshwane) in Pretoria, where he spent most of his sentence in solitary confinement. Only through his father's persistent letter-writing campaign and subsequent changes in legislation did Thomas find liberation, albeit after enduring immense personal sacrifices.

Keep Right on to the End of the Road

Stripped - Trailer

When a friend became the station manager for a radio station broadcasting on the internet to an LGBTI community, I jumped at the occasion to join the station's group of producers|presenters. This is the introductory podcast on Soul Searching.

Introduction

Islam, like so many other religions, takes issue with LGBTI people. I interviewed Imam Muhsin Hendricks. The Inner Circle started as a social group in 1996 when some Sufi Muslims realised the need to create support for queer Muslims. Imam Muhsin Hendricks, ex-scholar of the University of Karachi, Jamia Dirasaat (1990 – 1994) pioneered the venture with a vision to reconcile homosexuality and transsexualism with Islam.  Imam Muhsin created a safe space in a corner of his garage and brought together 25 gay men into dialogue, providing psycho-spiritual support and helping them to reconcile their faith with their sexual orientation and gender identity.

LGBTI in Islam

In the first part of this show we take a close look at one’s intrinsic value, who are you and what you are worth. Then, in the second half of the show we do a little soul searching of our own when it comes to protesting over Pastor Steve Anderson’s visit to South Africa.

Intrinsic Wealth And Protesting Steve Anderson

We are presently experiencing the worst drought in decades and it is at times like this when nature switches off the urge to reproduce and turns its attention to survival instead. All animals exhibit adaptive responses to the lack of food. When deprived of nourishment, animals employ various mechanisms to reduce metabolism. This prolongs the period in which energy reserves can last. Science seems convinced that we still have these thrifty genes and that intermittent fasting may be both a smart and smartening way to live as it could increase health and strengthen brain functions. But it is one thing to say that fasting has benefit to spirit, mind and body but it’s quite another matter making sense of starvation and suffering, and how suffering can lead to higher states of consciousness.

Food, Fasting And Famine

Mindfulness is the ability to know what’s happening in your head at any given moment without being carried away by it. Mindfulness has been around in Buddhist tradition for the last 2,500 thousand years. Clinical psychology and psychiatry since the 1970s have developed a number of therapeutic applications based on mindfulness for helping people who are experiencing a variety of psychological conditions because studies have shown that rumination and worry contribute to mental illnesses such as depression and anxiety which in turn may lead to physical illness. Most of us are permanently trapped in some form of anxiety. The practice of mindfulness diffuses our negativity, aggression, pain, suffering, and frustration, which may have been gathering power. Rather than suppressing emotions or indulging in them, here it is important to view them, and your thoughts, and whatever arises with an acceptance and a generosity that are as open and spacious as possible. Listen to the podcast to learn how to use a simple mindfulness technique.

Mindfulness

Negativity, prejudice and fear about aging is a process that inevitably leads to self-loathing and despair. One of the hardest things one might be expected to deal with in life is invisibility, not being noticed or valued as a human being. Suddenly becoming invisible due to aging is a particularly cruel aspect of life. People often become reclusive because they don’t want to be seen as elderly and so they render themselves invisible. They stop circulating because they don’t think they’ll be noticed, many choose to stay at home out of fear of becoming irrelevant and being rejected or ridiculed. Before you can expect others to think of you as something more than just your age, you have to think of yourself as something more than just your age. It takes some guts to reinvent yourself in your midlife and again as you begin to age. Developing a wholesome attitude towards ageing is not only about survival but more about thriving. Successful ageing means continuing to do what you love to do – and never using your age as the only reason for not doing it. It is also about paying more attention to spiritual issues. I talk to Tobie Cronje to get his wisdom about fearless aging.

Fearless Aging

Your hands teach you a lot about your romantic relationships. There are around half a dozen different hand configurations that symbolise different kinds of relationships. Listen to learn what they are so that you can identify bad ones and forge better choices to upscale the relationship you have or to develop wholesome new ones.

A Relationship Hand Guide

Most of us have a morbid fear of our own mortality – we are generally petrified to die. Most of this fear about death is admitting that science might be right when it suggests that there is only total oblivion after death. Science requires greater scepticism than is found amongst religions regarding the belief in the continuity of consciousness after death. In this episode, we investigate several key beliefs regarding the hereafter: There is the belief that you are born into this world to begin a cycle of repeated lives, each with no memory of what happened to you in the past. Another belief is that after your death you will go to a specific plane of existence determined by God, such as heaven or hell, limbo or purgatory. People continuously seek proof of the afterlife. They cite Past Life Regression as proof of a previous spiritual existence or memory of a past incarnation. Near Death Experiences are also offered as proof of an afterlife because some people claim they can remember details of their experience leading to death after they are medically resuscitated. There are also some people who claim to remember perfect facts of the lives of others who lived in a different time in history.

The Other Side of Life

In episode 13, we took a tongue-in-cheek look at some of the very literal ways in which people interpret the Bible. Philosophy and Law say that it is your personal right to have any belief system and to act it out as if it were true, given that the enactment does not impinge on the rights of others. However, last week’s show ended without resolving a particular issue: is there an absolute truth, one fundamental original intention embedded in holy scriptures, like the Bible? If so, how do we find it and how will we know whether it is true or not? There are so many conflicting, unprovable interpretations of holy texts each competing for the greatest following, like corporations that strive to increase market share. Given all the different kinds of beliefs, how do we test which one is factual and which are mistaken? Today we turn to the principles of quantum mechanics to try to prove that every belief there is or ever has been, is true.

Nothing but Truth

A daughter has a drugtaking problem and has been clean for a while but her mom is stricken with fear and won’t give her the freedom her daughter seeks. Mother mollycoddles the young woman by micro-managing her daughter’s life. This podcast lets you peek into the method I used to help Mom to establish trust again. It’s a demonstration of therapeutic metaphor. Be warned, this podcast contains an hypnotic induction so don’t listen to it if you are driving, operating heavy machinery or if you are engaged in any activity that requires your full attention. It is just fine to listen to it while you relax in your chair or while lying down on your bed.

Helping People Cross the River of Life

We investigate an observation made by Bluma Zeigarnik after she carefully watched how Viennese waiters were incredibly adept at remembering orders but how they quickly they forgot them once the patron had left the coffee shop. Her colleague, Maria Ovsiankina further noted that incomplete actions create a gentle motivation that spurs a person to get the job done. The conclusions these women published help us explain why we feel the way we do, sometimes motivated and enthusiastic and at other times, gloomy, worried and anxious over apparently nothing. Their astute theories give us opportunity to create some ingenious tricks to help improve memory, productivity and aid us in get things done quicker.

The Zeigarnik Effect, ways to Improve Motivation and Memory

11 Khayelitsha men burst into the home of 22-year old, Noluvo Swelindawo, dragged her away, murdered her and left her body alongside the highway. The alleged motive: homophobia. Of 2,130 LGBTI South Africans surveyed, 41% responded that they knew of someone who was murdered due to their sexual orientation or gender identity. African leaders have, in various statements, implied that homosexuality was never part of African culture and is yet another Eurocentric idiosyncrasy foist upon African people. As a result, some of these leaders completely reject international Gay Rights proposals. Without proper legislative support, LGBTI people are subjected to ‘corrective rape’, marginalisation and many other hate crimes, including, as in the case of 22-year old, Noluvo Swelindawo, murder. We’ve seen how intolerant the world is to anyone who doesn’t match up to societies norms and standards. We are also witnessing a resurgence of conservatism, as proven by the American population’s vote for Donald Trump and Britain’s desire to leave the European Union. Does this mark the beginning of the end for interpersonal tolerance? In this episode, we discuss what can be done personally to become that change we wish to see in the world.

The Erroneous Right to Kill a Lesbian

It’s that time of the year again! With tiny traces of remorse lingering for having wildly indulged over the Festive Season and a hint of embarrassment at your lack of restraint, having done things you normally wouldn’t want to have done, have you already decided on your New Year’s resolutions? Shell-shocked from your year-end break, you slowly emerge from this festive haze as part of your brain slowly begins to thaw from its dormant holiday hibernation. As sensibility reawakens, you start to think rationally again, and in the sober light of the New Year, with the next twelve months stretched out in front of you like a blank sheet of writing paper, you repentantly and understandably hack together a handful of ground-rules to utilise this moment of motivation to your betterment and to the advantage of others around you. This is how we conceive a plethora of New Year’s resolutions. But it is well-known that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I have some solid advice to share in this episode to help you manage your resolutions. I suspect that you would like to succeed, so let me tell you how.

New Year Resolutions and a String of Cooked Spaghetti

People of the world seem to be slipping away from the belief that God is our Father, sitting on His Heavenly throne, somewhere up there in space, taking punitive measures against anyone who doesn’t worship Him properly. It sounds narcissistic, tyrannical, divisive and illogical. After all, He is the Almighty, the epitome of Love, glory and fullness but this side of Him is only exposed to those who obey Him. But, this externalised notion of God is not the only perspective we have of Him. In this show, I shall explore the possibility that you are God. It’s an apparently blasphemous statement to make but there is some evidence to support this idea regarding the whereabouts of God. I shall also show how this change in perspective brings Christianity and Eastern religions together. What we see today as very different sets of religious dogma, might actually have some common roots in the ancient underlying set of beliefs that arose out of the Indus Valley, many millennia before Jesus walked this earth. Surprisingly, the esoteric meaning of King Solomon’s Temple in Jerusalem may also provide evidence for this perspective shift.

The Esoteric Meaning of Solomon's Temple

Just as Neuro-Linguistic Programming [NLP] is built around a collection of presuppositions (or foundational statements), hypnosis, and more specifically hypnotherapy, emanates from eight pivotal Rules. They are collectively known as the Eight Rules of the Mind and every hypnosis student learns them. They are obvious assumptions that explain the workings of your subconscious mind and the way it interfaces with your conscious awareness and your body. I unpack these rules in this show because the insight they give, will assist you to adjust your thinking a bit and the results from doing that can be very profound. Since a lot of hypnotherapy theory is based on the application of these rules, applying them to the way you think will open a gateway to enhanced self-esteem, overcoming pain and illness and the mastery of complex skills on the sports field or elsewhere in life. As I explain each rule, I shall give you little snippets of advice that you could apply to adjust your thinking so that you can find practical benefit.

The Eight Hypnosis Rules of the Mind, a Key to Self-Understanding

Is it conceivable that you could form intimate relationships with a limited number of other people? That’s called polyamory. In conservative worlds, this kind of sexual expression seems limited, debauched or may even hint at a mental disorder but research psychologists are noticing an increasing openness to alternative sexual lifestyles – at least in the more progressive corners of the modern-day Western world, like Australia, Canada and the US. This episode of Soul Searching informs you of the differences between polyamory, polygamy and promiscuity.

Polyamory – Committed Intimate Relationships with a Limited Number of other People

If you attended a Christian school, you’ll probably remember singing the Lord’s Prayer in the classrooms or in the main assembly hall each day. You might even recall those words now – I can. The Lord’s Prayer is a seven petition Prayer prescribed by Jesus. By offering it as a part of our daily spiritual practices, we affirm God’s superiority in contrast to our human frailties, leaving us no other choice but to beg for His forgiveness and to seek His help. But there is a very different take on it, one that the Indian yogi and guru, Paramahansa Yogananda, taught. When Jesus’ Prayer is held against the light of Hindu teachings, and amazing parallel emerges. It becomes a calling from our most inner space, to recognise our core godhead; to simultaneously recognise our physicality as a human with all our human needs; and to strive to attain the highest possibility of self – enlightenment – which then connects us inseparably to the rest of the universe.

How the Lord's Prayer Becomes an Exaltation for the Highest Self

This is the second and concluding half of this topic. I accepted an invitation by the South African Commission for the Promotion and Protection of the Rights of Cultural, Religious and Linguistic Communities, better known as the CRL Commission, and agreed to participate in their very interesting dialogue on 15th March. They needed to understand: the phenomena of prophecy, healing, miracles, magic and deliverance; how it might affect religious followers; whether it is used as a means of capturing people; is it the workings of the Holy Spirit or just states of trance. They also wanted to understand what trance is and how it is induced; why people are more likely to subject themselves to this phenomenon, either in religious settings or elsewhere; whether it is religious practice or cult; and to determine the extent to which this phenomenon occurs. In the first half of the show (Episode 34) we listened to a fragment of Benny Hinn’s purported channeling of the Holy Spirit to cast out a ‘homosexual demon’ from a young man, Steven. In this show, I offer facts about hypnosis that may be useful in determining whether this phenomenon of Faith Healing is indeed the workings of the Holy Spirit or whether it is a magnificently executed hypnosis act. Listen to this show so that you can decide which it is.

[ Part 2 ] Faith Healing, Workings of Holy Spirit or Hypnosis?

This show tackles the thorny issue of whether you should be religious, spiritual or neither and it will help you to understand what it means to pursue your own divinity. To be spiritual (or religious for that matter) often makes one feel bashful and insecure when sharing your journey with others, particularly in a modern world that is driven by consumerism, science and technology. It’s easy to feel awkward and out on the fringe when you indulge in your spiritual awakening. We’ll also define what is meant by being spiritual and I shall leave you with a handful of essential steps you’ll need to take to embark on this journey of self-discovery.

Essential Tips when Choosing between Religion and Spirituality

Most of us have piles of personal poo to deal with in life. Life isn’t always easy and we don’t always make the right choices when trying to solve our problems. In fact, we’re often quite blind to the mistakes we make or we find ourselves hell-bent on pursuing a course of action that leads nowhere. Your close friends and family may notice how crazy you are but many of them won’t stick their necks out and tell you, with brutal honesty, what they think you’re doing wrong. In my experience, close friends and family tend to shut their mouths and look away, leaving me floundering, trying to get my act together. If it was a huge issue I was dealing with, they’d brave up a bit and challenge me. So, why do we all shy away from being brutally honest with one another? We tend to mind our own business to keep the peace. None of us like being criticised or told that we’re wrong. It bruises the ego and we’ll often become defensive and launch a counterattack on the person criticising us. This inflammatory kind of dialogue goes nowhere. Instead, it is likely to tear relationships apart. Very few people are humble and secure enough to accept brutal honesty without demolishing their self-esteem and self-respect.

Brutally Honest Truths You Need to Hear If You Want to Get Your Stuff Together

For many, being with a dying person is a nightmarish experience. We live in a disposable world and modern western trends encourages us to outsource dying to others, like nurses, hospice staff and doctors. Most of us don’t know what to say. We are afraid to be honest. We think that we need to bring hope and future possibility to the dying person. All while we’re grappling with our own emotions of impending loss and bereavement. But being with a dying person can also be a profound spiritual moment. Let me show you how.

More Than Nine Things You Can Learn from Being with a Dying Person

Contemporary moral values are rapidly replacing old-fashioned ones. This translates into freedom and openness about your sexuality and how you express it. Statistics prove that it has also led to an endemic proliferation of affairs, sexual exploration outside the commitments of a relationship. If you have cheated on your partner, you may carry huge angst and guilt about it; if your partner cheated on you, then it may result in terrible of feelings of abandonment and worthlessness. This programme explores the world of affairs and flings, giving you insight into what you can do, whether you are the victim or the cheater.

Here's Some Help if you are Cheating or Being Cheated Upon

What have wormholes through space, filled with drifting coloured balloons and a hovering naked man got to do with spirituality and time? Well, they fit together as perfect symbols that explain our layered consciousness, how we attract experiences and how we perpetually live in this present moment of time, which we call ‘now.’

Learn how Wormholes, a Naked Man and Balloons Define Spiritual Meaning

Are you stuck in a world of guilt, remorse and shame? Forgiveness might be the tool to use to set yourself free. It is not the kind of forgiveness most people think of. There is a truth behind the truth, the one powerful trick you can use to dramatically change your future for the good. Join me in this show to learn what that forgiveness trick is. You won’t regret it.

One Powerful Trick That Makes It Easy to Forgive Others and To Set Yourself Free

Have you ever traded sex for the other person’s love and respect? Have you ever believed that you must first offer God your loyalty and faithfulness before you can receive His favour? If so, you have then experienced the perversion of the Law of Reciprocity. In this show, we explore what we mean by the reciprocity rule and we shall see how it can easily go awry with tretcherous consequences. Join me as we explore into this fascinating topic.

The Law of Reciprocity and What Can Go Wrong with It

This is a story of how scientific advances removed God from the equation governing all physical matter and replaced Him with science’s powerful sense of control over the clockwork mechanics that it had discovered. Science also changed our views about life and God’s role in it when Darwin published his theories of evolution. The church fought an arduous battle to keep God at the centre of things but the scales had tipped and science emerged victoriously. Yet, this is a story much greater than science’s victory over God, it is a story of new discoveries which dilutes the power biotech has over gene expression and DNA engineering, giving primary control back to you. Learn how you, through mindfulness, meditation and positive visualisation can rewire the very DNA inside your cell’s genes. This is not science fiction, it is science fact with profound consequences.

Discover How Your Beliefs and Attitude Repairs Broken DNA Inside Your Cells

Today, Yvonne graciously volunteered to be my Guinea pig so that I could record a 40-min hypnosis session as my gift to all of you. Please do not listen to it if you are on the go or need to focus your attention on what you are doing. Only listen to it when it is safe for you to do so. If you do share this track with others, please share the entire blog and not just the recording as it is important that we convey this cautionary note to all listeners. The recording is intended to help you get into hypnotic trance so it is best enjoyed in a quiet, private, undisturbed space where you can cozy up in a comfortable armchair or recline on your bed or sofa. It would also be a great idea to put your phone on silent while you listen to it. 

I recorded the session in my consulting room and so it has a tiny bit of echo which I cannot erase. So be it. 

The theme of this session demonstrates that you have the power to control your subconscious responses to that which the world throws at us all. As with all hypnosis, you need no special skill to fully enjoy this space. You cannot get stuck or locked into this space either. The worst-case scenario (if you follow the instructions above) is that you could drift off into a wonderful deep, relaxing sleep from which you will awaken, refreshed, relaxed and rejuvenated, as you always have done after all those magical naps of yours.

I'd love to get your comment and suggestions as always. Contact me here or privately.

Do I mind if you share this with others? Not in the least. If it helps others to cope with #lockdown, be my guest and share it freely.

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