It rained orange today
Because the clouds were
And the skies are

Orange

The colour of your shirt when we first met
It looked terrible on you
So I laughed when you said hi

Orange was your face after I laughed
Before it went red

Orange before red before you stood tall and said hello again
This time with the spine of a man

Orange was the colour of our cat when we moved in together
It was old and raggedy like your heart

Orange and old and raggedy like your heart that had been previously tossed around and cracked with time passed
Time passed and the swell of my belly matched the swell of our pride and smiles
Smiles that wanted a third
Smiles that had worrisome eyebrows above
Worrisome, protective
Waking up at 3am turning on the orange lamp to check for kicking
Worrisome, protective
Waking up at 5am you checking the orange light monitoring our heart beats
Worrisome, those smiles faded and so did the swell of my belly

Orange I'm sorry for your loss cards

I now have a ghost belly
A swollen phantom tear-filled belly 

A phantom left side of the bed
Because you left your side of the bed

Because left here are the orange infant boots
Because left here are the orange hair ribbons
Because left here are the matching orange onsies

Wearing orange when you came in
Wearing orange when you left
Wearing pale orange misery always

It rained orange today
Because the clouds were
And the clouds are

It rained orange today
When I dropped my glass of orange juice
And I was sprayed with the reminder

Today,
She would have been a year old



ticklesmyfancy