I'm sitting at home, alone, late at night, and enjoying this wonderful creativity.😌

guitar + ur voice = pure treasure 

THIS ONE IS SO FIRE I LOVE IT SM

i think the world

@vanda100 and i had worked on this 3 years ago. he sent a very crazy and long piano peformance to me. i sifted thru it and we transformed it together into something completely different. we tried off and on to finish it and eventually it got left behind. then 3 years later (in 2025), he messaged me again and his friend @natti-915299332 had added some vocals to it. i was very blown away, and it sounded nothing like i had ever heard before. i opened up the old project and added the new vocals, and decided to re-work the entire project into something that better suited the vocals. this project started as one thing, and changed and changed so many times, with things added and removed, until finally this was the result. sometimes the best songs are made in minuets, and other times, music i really adore can take what feels like a life time.

here are the lyrics:
called
no one picked up
to voicemail
i’m alone again
as always
when did i become, the shadow of a ghost?
i never died
but people treat me as if im dead
you don’t have to die to become a ghost
hiding
waiting
searching
looking for answers
something to show that i’m alive
all alone
\
the lyrics are particularly personal to me. they were not written with any of my input or communication with them, but ended up being deeply personal for me. If natti wishes to share here her interpretation of them i will add it here,

but for me this song really cuts deep. lately, after refusing to write music for oneheart, and refusing to let him release my music remixed under his name, i've felt like, wow, if this is how big artists treat me, like a piece of meat, or as if i would ever agree to be a ghost writer for someone else's sucess, its deeply dehumanizing, and disgusting, and it's like people treat me as if im dead, but it makes me wonder, how far disgusting people like that would go when im actually dead. he already hired this dude dean to help him rip off my "nothing is real" style songs, after i refused to make them with him and blocked him everywhere, so all i can assume is that the day i actually do die, he will be throwing a big party since in his mind, i wont be there to stop him from ripping off my music on a massive scale. anyways, thats never going to happen, but that's just the kind of garbage i've been dealing with for years now and used to be too afraid to say anything. my health has gotten so bad though, i just could care less anymore and have no issue exposing disgusting people like that. 

i hope this song will help you confront whatever it is you need to think about. for me, it was that garbage. that just scratching the surface but i'll talk about the entire picture sooner or later. anyways, big love to everyone out there, and thanks for listening to our song.

people treat me as if im dead

reverberations

Nimbus

cover artwork by MACCIU
macciu.com

generated by Nicolie Binara
produce and mastered by Setsuya KUROTAKI

Purpose

from the upcoming "nothing is real, part XXIII"
lyrix;;;
this feeling rips away at me
i just wanna wanna be happy
my mind wont let my eyes see
a way out of my misery
i feel as though i have it all..
yet i feel nothing.. at all....
-------
what goes around, it comes around
(what goes around, it comes around)
things are so much different now
all the little things, i worried about
it was all in my head... all in my head
i said it so many times before!!!! >:(
"but i neVeR hEaRd tHe WorDs.. the words.. the words!!!!"
and i was giving my own advice
now, whys it so hard?
to keep on track
to be the human being that i wanna get back
there's no going back
the truth is out there, you never should of lied to us all
it will be your downfall.
x

i've buried the dead disappointments, in the cemeteries of yesterday. 🪦✝️

u will be your downfall

leaves (unfinished instrumental demo)

No one can say otherwise (slowed + reverb)

prod. vampireisthatyou

> lyrics <

and i hate me
all my worries too
i know what u said
how u wanted me dead (u said)
tell me why cus what else is new?
bury u away, and the old me too

and i hate that u know why
i would cry
when no one else is in sight
made me hate living in my skin (i hate my skin)
as if i ever didn't to begin

does this feel like the end?
and i love how u move
when u tear right into my skin
no more playing pretend
i can tell that u think
that u got rid of me
think again

and u tried to hide within
tore myself down again

and i hate me
all my worries too
i know what u said
how u wanted me dead (u said)
tell me why cus what else is new?
bury u away, and the old me too (bury u with me)

and i hate that u know why
i would cry
when no one else is in sight

https://linktr.ee/nixxiu

worries

still looking for a way out
a way out of my head
i know that im dead dead
so i lay here in bed
in bed
in bed
here in my mind
i only exist;
i know that im dead dead
so i lay here in bed
here in my mind
nothing else exists
i know that im dead dead
i pretend that i live
x
here in my mind
i only exist;
i know that im dead dead
so i lay here in bed
here in my mind
nothing else exists
i know that im dead dead
i pretend that i live

still looking for a way out

c r i t i c a l ERRx d e t e c t e d

beacons.ai/errx

GOD HAND

‎‎creator of the "nothing is real" album series. (2018-present)
hello. my brain is killing me from a disease called multiple sclerosis. i am making as much music as i can before inevitability i wake up one day unable to function.  i wouldn't wish this on anybody. thanks for listening.
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎\
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎my head is empty music plays 
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏in various ‎‏‏‎shows on the VICELAND 
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏ ‎‏‏TV network, ‎‏‏‎in the films TERRIFIER 3,
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ eHero with ‏‏‎Sean Astin,
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎an Adidas documentary,
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎  and as the ‎‏‏‎soundtrack for the 
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎video ‎‏‏‎game Monsters Duo,
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏‎ by Q-Games.

still looking for a way out

my head is empty

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