banger again. i love nothing is real so much :-)

I’m the dirt
Earthworms crawling through me
Broken up and uneven
I’m feeling like mud

I’m the tree
Still growing
Bugs keep burrowing in my skin 
And the holes don’t heal
I can only cover them up

I’m the scarecrow 
Lonely and limp
I’m trying to drive away my friends, the crows
And even though I wear a smile
Underneath it is a chaotic mess of stuff
Ready to burst

I’m a mess
That I don’t clean up
I know where the important things are
And I’ll get to cleaning up eventually
But right now it’s too much 
And I’m too tired
And I feel like I’m falling apart into a million different pieces
Even when people say I’m not

I love this kind of music so much. Its so subtly emotional that is make me feel nostalgia for some reason:)

very atmospheric, thank you, continue to please us. ♡

https://on.soundcloud.com/pTwkLKZcShQJZagu5
This is for you man. It took me 3 hours to do this and I think it was worth it :D

you're not the dirt. multiple sclerosis is the dirt. I fell bad for you still :(

Why Is It Still Raining?

sound from https://www.tiktok.com/@nextoblue/video/7182906863628029230

Stream Here

audio 002

memories 2006

music video: https://youtu.be/Z_AlyLR26VU
a song from 8ish? years ago? its very old i have no idea how old. i found it recently and decided to re-record the vocals and release it with a music video to explain a bit of the lyrics, since it's a bit personal.

music video

in my treehouse (music video)

from the upcoming "nothing is real, part XXII" 
<3
lyrics:
my heart stops beating
my life's completed
is this how it ends?
make up for lost time
how do i rewind?
i can feel the void
calling me
it's calling me

nothing is real, part XXII

im the dirt

i should accept it

get up you waste of space, human garbage

STREAM

wrong way, go back

Dawn Chorus

Dawn Chorus (Instrumental)

isolation killed me

thanks for listening<3 i hope you'll check out more of my music like this song.
this song + all my ambient tracks on my playlist here
soundcloud: soundcloud.com/tidecruz/sets/my-head-is-ambient
spotify version: open.spotify.com/playlist/4IB4U1ieSUcEor3LQkOAIy

im here today, gone tomorrow

this song to me is an expression of how it's felt learning that the world can be okay. learning to breathe deeply for the first time, not filled with anxiety and fear of what would happen to me that day. the air i'm breathing feels so new, and finally safe. i can take up the space that i need to, and not feel that i am too much. my world has opened up, my perspectives have changed. i am learning it is okay to lean on others for support and know that it is not a burden to do so, though it is still something i struggle with. i am always growing, and i feel so grateful to have the chance to grow, as i know many don't, and i didn't for most of my life. i hope this can resonate with someone. or even bring a little bit of hope to those who feel that they will never truly feel the peace that they deserve, because it is out there, the world is not all scary, and you are worthy of experiencing it, && all the beautiful things life has to offer. ໒꒰՞ ܸ. .ܸ՞꒱ა ♡

you'll heal me

lost in it

Before the Fade

ARBOU-Broken Tape [DARK NATURE CONCEPT]

Buffalo Springfield

For What It's Worth

None of This Was Your Fault

Goodnight Dad I Love You

‎‎creator of the "nothing is real" album series. (2018-present)
hello. my brain is killing me from a disease called multiple sclerosis. i am making as much music as i can before inevitability i wake up one day unable to function.  i wouldn't wish this on anybody. thanks for listening.
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎\
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎my head is empty music plays 
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏in various ‎‏‏‎shows on the VICELAND 
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏ ‎‏‏TV network, ‎‏‏‎in the films TERRIFIER 3,
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ eHero with ‏‏‎Sean Astin,
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎an Adidas documentary,
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎  and as the ‎‏‏‎soundtrack for the 
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎video ‎‏‏‎game Monsters Duo,
 ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎  ‎‏‏‎ by Q-Games.

im the dirt

my head is empty

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