This song is a re-record of the first real song I ever wrote some 20 years ago. It was a sweet trip down memory lane to re-do!

Puppet

(This song was originally released on streaming platforms under my then alias 'AURASHADE'). I wrote this song after I posted a picture of a double rainbow on my instagram stories and asked for a lyric writing challenge about it. I got things like "hope", "pot of gold", "double the rainbow", etc. It was a joy to write and certainly captured the moment where I did indeed see a double-rainbow in a beautiful surrounding!

Rainbow Valley

Angel Eyes (Jerry Cantrell cover)

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (acoustic cover)

This is a fantasy story of a knight whom is sent on an errand from his Kingdom to slay monsters, but quietly he morally objects. Who's to say the monsters are evil, and do they need to be slain? 

The idea for this song was out of observation that video games (both fantasy and non) as a central mechanic have you killing other beings to progress which, as a gamer myself, I've started to challenge as I've gotten older; "Defeat the enemy!", "Slay the dragon!", "Kill 5 wild bears!", "Destroy the Orc Camp!" etc, which is quite terrible when one thinks about it. This song is also a wish for a game (and as a wider wish, a mentality) where instead of trying to fight and kill everything to progress, you instead pacify (or indeed "calm the monsters") to promote peace, unity and harmony. Can't we save the kingdom without bloodshed and by setting an example? Forging friendships, not foes?

Calm the Monsters

This was an accidental 'dice' song!

Over on Twitch, at 7pm GMT every Thursday, I write songs using Dungeons and Dragons dice. I also make YouTube videos, where on one video I was explaining this songwriting exercise with a demonstration of rolling the dice, as I do on my Twitch streams. The thing was, after I filmed the video, I quite liked the sound of the song that was made as the example; so I decided to finish it!

If you're interested in songwriting with Dungeons and Dragons dice, come and check out my broadcast every Thursday, or visit my YouTube channel for an explanation of the rules as to how it works!

Virtue

Endless (Demo)

‘River’ is a story about two people seeking comfort from a river’s cooling and healing water. The song has got bits of me and bits of people I know other in it, but ultimately it’s about getting back to nature and finding peace. 

This version is a live performance.

River (acoustic)

I wrote ‘Shadows on the Waves’ around March this year as part of a songwriting exercise, where I would use dice to determine the blueprint of a new song, however I began really fleshing out what became the final product as I was recording it. I found myself before long abandoning the traditional acoustic start in favour of a surreal, otherworldly tone set to a simplistic and tribal-like rhythm.

The words ‘shadows on the waves’ sprang to mind every time I played the selected chords from the dice rolls. I tried to shoehorn them into a story or a meaning, but found quickly that it didn’t go anywhere or felt off. I had re-written the song 4 or 5 times before I fell into the rabbit hole of the new direction, and decided to let go and write instinctively with the first lines that came to mind. This approach worked really well, and the song suddenly just ‘unlocked’. Shadows is therefore made up of lines are of my choosing with a personal affiliation - ‘whatever road you are on, it will lead you home’ - and others are what subconscious-thought has conjured up - ‘patchwork prayers poise the question’. I couldn’t bring myself to change the lines however as they just fit. I like the mystery in that. Upon reflection, I interpret the overall meaning to be a musing about life’s yings and yangs. I remember during the recording process that I felt like I was beginning to finally vocalise an indescribable part of myself, like a window to my inner creative world, and I feverishly laid down as much as I could before the feeling left.

Once I felt like it had gone as far as it should go (also known as “done”), I found that I couldn’t stop listening to it. It was like a trance on every listen. I had performed it a few times when I was live-streaming gigs, but it was so jarring against the other songs on my set list that I quickly became self-conscious about it. Therefore, it was quickly shelved and never made it to a real-life gigs. I thought perhaps it was better not to play it and instead just be something that that I could listen to when wanted (I should point out that the song was and is still an intangible space, not an ego massage!). From a production standpoint, I know it’s imperfect, but I feel like I’ve captured the spontaneity of the moment. I did try and tweak/amend aspects of the recordings, but I quickly found every time I did I felt like the magic broke, so at the point it was abandoned is the way it’s supposed to be. 

Time passed, other songs were written, and life went on. I listened to it again (after some time of leaving it be) and decided that I actually wanted to share it again. I suddenly had a desire to bring people into my aforementioned inner world just through the recording, without trying to recreate it live. I had a few other wild-card, dreamlike songs like this that I wanted to share too, and I thought thematically it would be perfect to release them on Halloween. 

It’s been a quiet, contemplative journey, but I’m so excited to finally share this song, and the other 4 on my EP of the same name. It’s odd and ephemeral I know, and might leave the listener none-the-wiser, but I think that’s the point. It’s fluid, ephemeral and it’s own thing, very much like shadows on the waves, I guess. 


Timothy Hoad

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