October 2021 Mix

Tim Russell Sept14 Mix

Bruno Brookes, Pepsi, bit of Creggy Devid, some dippy egg (one slice), Amir quite honestly... TWP, Mr Shan smelling Creggy on you... he knows, he can smell him, "noow Creggy in mha hottub!"... "okay Mr Shan".... "Yo, you're through to Brookes!".... long pause, tension, palpable, 'oh my god, I'm through to BB' "What's your request?" another long pause.... "erm" I quickly add... "Are you actually BB?"... long pause on Brookes side now... "Yes, I already told you, you're through to Brookes!". The excitement took ahold of my whole body, I could feel myself quivering... 'THIS IS IT', I calmly told myself... 'you're actually speaking to the big B!'. I tried to grab a hold of myself, but failed. "erm..." I spluttered, I literally couldn't talk, frozen, much like the Disney film, which I'd earlier downloaded for my friend, Morrow... but forget to send. Anxious from life and high from, well, you know..., I knew I had to say something to BB quick. "BB, I mean Bruno, I mean Mr Brookes"... already, I knew I was losing him, my tongue was tied and tied it was! "Are you okay?" Bruno asked. 'Oh my god... Bruno Brookes is actually asking if I'm okay'... my brain was in overdrive... 'Wuhan', 'bog-roll', 'covid', 'Duncan Ferguson'... I couldn't focus... but I knew this was MY time! If only... as it happens I'd seen BB on numerous occasions, I was surprised he didn't recognise me, unfortunately, this wasn't the first time I'd spluttered in his presence. 'You're a massive BB fan-boy' I told myself... 'In no way is he gonna be happy with your covid splutter all over his sleeve'... realisation struck home.... "damn, sorry BB, I forgot my mask!" Again, the pause on both sides was uncomfortable... my only hope was that the pause would thaw, and it couldn't thaw soon enough. "You're on a phone, mate..." a deep and controlling Stokey accent muttered, "don't worri about that stuff, just tell me... 'what's your request'?" I answered him direct... "my request, is BRUNO BROOKES!"

Timrussell-leeds

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