dec. 8th 2020

piano freestyle

(i think i forgot to upload this idk)

it's derogatory

i really want to get a guitar

turbulence

misterella

past wars (live)

091320

cover

originally by jack & k-icm
(xin lỗi, mình ko biết how to rap (yet))

bạc phận [cover] -

10 03 2020

freestyle, subliminal sounds.

432 Tiny Bells

unpremeditated

excruciween

i got a blister (original)

201707

lyrics:

cariño, nobody wants you
i hear you, but you're just man
cariño, you're not that cute
i hear you, but nobody else can

hermoso, good morning
how are you today?
they said it'll be storming
will you still stay?

everyone wants you away
too much damage has been done
they all want you to pay
back all the fun

cariño, nobody wants you
i hear you, but you're just a man
cariño, you're not that cute
i hear you, but nobody else can

hermoso, good afternoon
would you be gone soon?
i smell the lustrous perfume
i think you'll be doomed

everyone wants you away
too much damage has been done
they all want you to pay
back all fun

cariño, nobody wants you
i hear you, but your just man
cariño, you're not that cute
i hear you, but nobody else can

[instrumental]

ahhh (g...a...b♭...)
want you stay
but they'll say "no way!"
come over here, babe
i'll keep you away

keep you away...
keep you away...
want you to stay...
want you...
to stay...

cariño, nobody wants you
i hear you, but you're just a man
cariño, you're not that cute
i hear you, but NO ONE
NO ONE WANTS YOU
NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE
YOU'RE ALL WHO THEY FEAR
CAN'T YOU HEAR, WON'T YOU HEAR
IS IT CLEAR YET?
THEY'LL SET YOU UP FOR DEATH

cariño, eres tan querido 
estoy aquí para ti
cariño, necesitas alejarte...
de mi

written by: xssa 

inspos: the marías, andrea bocelli, christina aguilera


description:

another song i was able to complete within a day. this song is really mellow. and i was listening to a song (if only i could remember what) which somehow made the first lines come out of my mouth, and *boom*. i'm pretty sure i got some inspo from the marías' "cariño", "i don't know you", + more

as i was recording this draft, i also didn't have a set instrumental to this yet. i also thought of christina aguilera's "hurt" during the last part of singing to leave some words at the end after an instrumental pause. 

can't wait to actually record this, thanks for listening!

no es amor, cariño mío (original)

lyrics:

how am i feeling today?
profound sadness
why are the clouds so gray?
drowned madness
why is the grass so dull?
bald to the skull
i am gulled by my own self
i need help
oh well

the cycle
another error, let's go to trial
no, stop and think
what is causing it to sink
the spiral
another terror, it's very frightful
no, stop and breathe
free from panicking

how is the sky today?
cumulonimbus clouds appear
why is it so hard to stay?
i wanna disappear
i feel like an animal
so irrational 
again, infallible at impulsive mistakes
i want to run away
today

the cycle 
another error, let's go to trial
no, stop and think
what is causing it to sink
the spiral
another terror, it's very frightful
no, stop and breathe
free from panicking

it's damaging
i'm ravaging
how do i start salvaging
my body's vanishing
death is so ravishing

the cycle 
another error, let's go to trial
no, stop and think
what is causing it to sink
the spiral
another terror, it's very frightful
no, stop and breathe
free from panicking

the cycle
there's no more errors, it's a mistrial
continue to fly
i'm on my way to die
the spiral
i'm the only member, there's no denial
don't you question why
let me say goodbye
goodnight

be mindful, be rightful
it is the final

- written by: xssa -

description/progress:

inspo by some song i listened to at the time. i believe it was "summertime sadness" by lana del rey. 


i wrote this around the end of may, but with only 2 verses. the bridge and the rest was added today along with some last minute note changes.

i was struggling to find what instrument to play this with. started with piano, to e. piano, to synths, to basses, then i was just like "fuck it" with the guitar bc it was taking forever lmao. but i would love to hear suggestions on what i could change to the instrumental when i get to record this.

thank you for listening :)

mindfulness (original)

lyrics:

sáng nay em thức dậy￼
anh ở đâu￼?
hôm tối qua anh quá quậy
anh có sao không￼￼?

khùng, khùng
điên, điên
mãi, mãi
anh xỉn đã chưa

anh, anh
có muốn 
dừng lại?
đau đớn chưa

người yêu ơi, em có làm gì sai không?
người yêu ơi, trở lại đi
em nhớ anh quá đi
người yêu ơi, em cần làm gì nữa 
để cho anh yêu em lại nữa?

cứ uống rượu say 
chóng mặt đã chưa?
cứ chơi, cứ tán tỉnh quài
và cũng không nhìn mắt em

khùng, khùng
điên, điên
mãi, mãi
anh xỉn đã chưa

anh, anh
có muốn 
dừng lại?
đau đớn chưa?

tại sao anh phải đi với cố ây
tại sao hai đứa phải hôn nhau như vậy 
chỉ là anh không yêu em nữa hay gì thế 
i don't understand why it has to be this way
đau quá đi, đau quá đi
khó quá đi, khó quá đi

why does it hurt so much?
i already saw it coming
i got so tired of your touch
i was already numbing

chúng ta thật sự là không phải hai người yêu
we're just a short story
full of drama, yet no glory
chỉ đau đớn thôi, không có joy

grieving by drinking
let my heart go sinking
hãy để thế giới được hoà bình 
no more harsh thinking

em đã mệt mỏi vì miệng ông rồi
chết đi, làm ơn chết đi
tự tử đi, i don't care anymore
i'm tired of this bullshit￼
(that's just irrational thinking)

[instrumental]

em chúc anh những điều vui nhất 
đừng để tình yêu của anh bị mất
treat the next one right
make sure to hug her tight
don't give her a single fright
and kiss her goodnight
and stay with her even through daylight
during the glistening daylight
and please, learn to have some insight
you're unsatisfied 

written by: xssa

__________________________

description/process/progress:

i wrote this around may 16th, but boy did i have to revise countlessly. my vietnamese isn't as good as it used to be, but i'm working on it! there were so many grammatical errors that i failed to realise and a lot of wrong usage of words. please do let me know what else can fix, that'd be much appreciated.

i honestly have no idea what made me write this. i had to gather some of the "old me" back to get this out. i started off singing this in the key of f# minor with just piano, then somehow switched to g minor with a more upbeat tone. i also just added a couple more verses because i wanted to some how switch up the song in some way, but this is a draft after all. so during my redos, i had to continuously figure out how to sing them, hence the offbeat-ness.

i do feel like i may've been listening to "trả nợ tình xa" and/or "trống vắng" which i so so so so love. i may officially record it with a acoustic piano version, and who knows how i'll approach it upbeat...i do need to fix the grammar a bit more first.

thank you for listening :)

- xssa

you're unsatisfied (original)

lyrics:

i'm feeling a little sentimental 
there's a room in my head up for rental
but this little thing barged in 
it was too late to examine
it's raped my mind, the mental

i'm feeling a bit special
life's all too short to be a petal
plant the seed and water yourself
only you can help yourself
remember to be gentle

i'm feeling a bit experimental
i won't stay here with all this pressure
do what increases your adrenaline 
even if it's a bit sudden
start to rise, be incremental

but it's been real stressful
how do i not worry about being unsuccessful?
do i have the guts and potential?
what could be supplemental?
do i need to follow what's fundamental?

how do i know what's to feel?
my head lost control of its wheels
tell me what is the deal?
i cannot figure out what is real?

did someone come and steal
my ability to seal
all these emotions
i'm causing a commotion 

drowning in the ocean
oh, would somebody please 
force inside me a potion
i need a little spell
there's nothing that could help
is there really a heaven and hell
how can you tell?
how will you dwell?
is it so swell?
is it compelled?
you're all spelled

history has unfolded what was thought to sell
pardon me, i need to bid farewell
farewell, you hear me?
farewell!

i'm feeling a little sentimental
i can't help all this trouble
how do i get out of this?
caged in, i need a kiss
what advice can the disney princesses give?
so much is throwing, i can't tell which is misgiving
how can i forgive...myself?

what did i do?
i need to bid you all adieu...

written by: i think it was me

—

description/progress/process:

so this was all written today, the 14th of november. i honestly don't know how to sing this, so most of this was just pure nonsensical notes. i do need to tweak some of these lyrics. i don't know if i really want to record this, i'm really feeling it. i guess this was more poetry than a song. 

thank you for listening!

maudlin (original)

made in aug. 4 of 2019

i somehow found this recording thanks to icloud. don't really have a name for it. pretty messy depressing freestyling, am i right? also mind that my piano was already fucking up, hence the sizzling sounds…

enjoy an old catfished pic of me LMAO

country rock freestyle xx

forever love your mistakes. forever love the utter risks you take.

exsza

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