its half past midnight, Im still awake. the blackest night, such tired eyes. silence owns this empty place. clock hands dance slowly to the beat of apathy. here comes the rain and the memories return. yesterdays ghosts are still chasing me. with thunder smashing truth down on me. Im falling in trance and the voices appear. cause I loved too much and felt too less. Im thinking of you every fucking day. and I was to young to fucking know the difference between me and you. and I loved too much and felt to less. I was too young to fucking know. desperation never felt so good. dear rain, I think Im falling in love with you and me and this very moment of truth. dear remembrance, I think Im letting go. and every raindrop seems like another tear. dear past, Im counting every mistake. and Im spilling my heart to the beat of that song. dear searching, I found myself in the storm. and after all these sleepless nights, Im falling asleep for the very first time. NO DREAMS, NO WORDS, NO LIES, NO PAIN just me and hope left in the rain. here comes the rain can you feel it, can you feel it? a new day has come and Im waking up. and it seems like the rain has washed away. the waste from the streets and the tears from my mind. for now Iâm redeemed until the next rain falls again...i

Thunder and Rain

dear destiny, here I am and Ive paid my guilt. with no hope and all alone. but Ive found a way. I got lost in the blink of a moment. lost my heart in the deepest ocean. walked away with nothing and nowhere to go. through the cold and the darkness. the road seems so fucking endless. I was a lover, a sinner, a thief and maybe something in between. I am a liar, begging for truth. I am the lost son, never coming home. I am the catcher in the rye. but Ive found my way. and now the sun is shining down on me. dear destiny, today was such a beautiful day. the sun is shining. the sky is clear. winter months have disappeared. and with the smile on her face. I feel my heart beating again and again. and I found a light in the dark, found hope in growing up. no right no wrong and Im walking on...

Summer Lights

18 years lived, 4 years dead. I've lost myself in a cold october night. no innocence is left of me. and every day feels like wasting. I've wasted these years. half stack inside 'what if's', half stack inside regrets. time went by and silence came. depression is my one and only friend. in lonely nights, I still lay awake, spending hours asking...'where have you been? to save me from my mistakes. easy love and some bottles of sin, were all it needed to make a lover a thief.' you're hazel eyes, my favourite smile. missing since the day when you said goodbye. and my heart still knows our swan song. I'm sorry, cause this was our last song. and every day feels like wasting. I've wasted these years. half stackED inside 'what if's', half stackED inside regrets. And it all happened too fast. now it's too late, can't turn back time, I've failed. and I spent nights waiting for you in the cold. I spent nights hoping for you in my thoughts, but you never came. YOU NEVER CAME. only in my dreams you came... and with every night spent alone the distance grows and further seems forever. and I realize I'm all alone.

Lover, Sinner, Thief

Endless fear is eating me. Day by day. Monotony. Loneliness is killing me. I can’t escape this tragedy. Forget. Forget. Forgotten boy. You lost your heart, inside your head. What went so wrong? Feels like another goddamn night and it rains and it’s dark. So fucking cold inside. So what is left? Emptiness. Every morning I awake, not sure if I still sleep. I don’t say that I’m dying, but my feelings disappeared. Seconds feel like hours and hours feel like years
I can hear the hangdogs sing, whispering into my ear. Depression is my melody, the rhythm that I fear. So what else can a man do, that has lost this will to live.
Every day. Melencolia. Melencolia.  And I guess hope is just a word. And I stack somewhere inbetween. No I can’t cut the knots in my chest. Endless fear is eating me. Day by day. Monotony. Loneliness is killing me. I can’t escape this tragedy. And I saw so many falling down. And I’ve never seen anyone coming back. We all got a life to live and a death to die and no time to cry. Nothing’s left inside of me.


TOGETHER