tom lehrer

This cordially inviting lure is sure to let you down
This bittersweet bait has a heartbreak waiting
And ain’t no fish gonna drown
And if you cry “Alright, I’ll bite, I just need a light snack”
You’re rooked, line-swingers’ got you hook-line-sinker
And ain’t gonna throw you back

Wading in the water, waiting for a slaughter
Even fucking sharks are somebody’s daughters
Lock ‘em up, fathers, ‘cause I’m goin’ fishing
This’ll be efficient
HAHA ISN’T SHE CHRISTIAN?
Diggin’ up the dirt for an earthworm, churning up
Her net worth is her purpose: Turning Up
Sure enough: Certain of my unhinged, foolish
1 fish 2 fish, black and blue bitch

It’s more than whores would bargain for, but lord it’s nicely priced You’re an organ donor for the cure waking up in a tub of ice
But at least that baby fat’s gone like a memory, you’ve lost weight overnight
But you slip on your own peel, get a grip
And clamp And lever And screw And vice
Itches come and go, but never slow, did you know: Aboriginals used every bit of buffalo
Opportunities they oughtta be chased and tasted, never wasted Maybe wasted
Moustraps crack down on a blacked out rat
How does that sound?
Cheese or an intact back?
The better of the two’s up to you
It’s 1 fish 2 fish, me or you, bitch

1fish2fish By The Stereosexuals

i didnt see anyone uploading it here besides the live version so...🤨🤨

Love, Me Normally - Will wood!!

memento mori - Will Wood And The Tapeworms

Song is not mine.

All credits go to Will Wood.

Listen to Camp Here and There on Mayfieldandbelov.com, Spotify, YouTube, and Apple Podcasts.

Yes, to Err is Human, So Don't Be One. - Will Wood

I’m that first-person they talk about in all the books
I’m that perspective you cannot doubt, see how I look
Control the narrative reliably, baby it’s all about me
And I wrote the book about throwing the book at those who
Don’t do it by it
So now I’m holding myself hostage, Stockholm lust just looks like justice
And enough lefts don’t make the right but two wrongs do
Oh man, Sun Tzu would love this.
Beating my dead high horse off the high road to low ground cause
If you shake your fist at snakes in grass it looks like punching down.

So God forbid I’m seen just as an average human being
I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
I’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don’t come at me
I’m the main character, and you have to like me

I loot plot-armor from NPC’s, well they are to me
Trite tropes, traits, traumas, trinkets, and treats. It’s all XP. Look in the
Sky, it’s a bird, it’s a plane, no it’s super-ego! The underdog you cheer for
Villains are everywhere, that’s how I know I’m the hero
So tie me to the train tracks, laugh and snidely twist your mustache, Snidely Whiplash
Boris Badinov, ignorin’ me’s bad enough, where do you get off?
Da, das vadanya darling, Daleks in high collars monologue 
And I outsmart them with a ray-gun and a tweet

So God forbid I’m seen just as an average human being
I mean, imagine if protagonists just died in the first scene
I’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don’t come at me
I’m the main character, and you have to like me

Judge me by what my cover shows, author becomes beyond reproach
You don’t know the prose, or if the spine is still intact.
Oh, like Alice fell to wonderland, come astroturf my Overton
Embolden my demand to live by alternative facts.

Her majesty says "the royal we demand a standard loyalty” 
An agreement to be reverent, lick the emperor’s new boots.
The court fool got the guillotine, the witches the stake, you the dopamine 
And Siemens made the Zyklon B, but we all still get the flu. (It’s nothing new)
We all do what we need to to get through.
But I ain’t done a fucking thing to you.

So god forbid I’m seen just as an average human being, I mean
Imagine if antagonists lacked any evil scheme
I’m the gap between a tragedy and comedy, don’t come at me
I’m the main character and you have to like me.

I Hold Your Hand in Mine

Tom Lehrer

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