Cover version on baritone ukulele of Michael Nesmith's Some Of Shelly's Blues

Some Of Shelly's Blues - Mike Nesmith cover on Baritone ukulele

Cover of Chris Rea's Fool If You Think It's Over played on baritone ukulele

Fool If You Think It's Over - Chris Rea cover on Baritone ukulele

The story of a rather sad man living in a small town in the north of England. He has a fixation with young mothers, so hangs around the school gates, eyeing them all up.

His main problem is that people mistake his leching for an unhealthy attraction to children. They sometimes call the police, who either send him on his way with a flea in his ear, or give him a bit of a kicking in the back of the van, depending on how they feel at the time. 

He's not particularly satisfied with the life he leads, a constant source of frustration for him. He's sought help from the medical profession, who are stumped and cannot find anything particularly wrong with him; so they send him on his way with a small jar of placebo pills.

Feeling largely unfulfilled, he continues with his sad life. Occasionally, he gets laid when one of the greasy, blobby, tracky-wearing mums succumbs to his charms but by and large, he's forced to return unsatisfied to his dingy second-floor bedsit, where he whiles away the rest of the morning by wanking, before heading out at twelve for a sausage roll and a quick visit to Betfred, usually ending up staying there the rest of the afternoon.

Yummy Mummies - original comedy song

Song written in March 2019. I was lying in bed thinking about clearing the grate of my wood-burning stove and going through the ashes to remove the old nails from the pallets I'd been burning. The day after I wrote this tune, I wrote a cheerful country number which I'll record soon.

Sifting Through The Ashes - original song

Original song about a guy who fucks the much younger wife of his older neighbour - and pays for it with his (and her) life. The neighbour goes to jail but things don't turn out too badly for him...

Vic Carnegie's Wife - original song - initial draft

Original song about a train disaster at Balvano, Italy in March 1944. 

In Naples, there was a shortage of fresh fruit and vegetables. There was a black market whereby people would stow away on trains and ride out to the farmlands to obtain produce to sell to forces personnel stationed in the city. The freight train in the song was overloaded and struggling in bad weather, burning poor quality coal that couldn't provide enough steam to keep the train moving as it struggled uphill. 

The train slipped to a stand in a tunnel and was unable to start again. Around five hundred stowaways died in the night as they were overcome by carbon monoxide in the thick black smoke belching from the locomotives. A handful at the back survived as they were still in the open air, outside the tunnel.

Nobody accepted any blame for the incident.

Silent Killer - The Ballad Of Balvano - original song

Version of Nelson's "If you've Got The Money, Honey" played on baritone ukulele and harmonica with neck-brace stand

TASCAM DR-07 

If You've Got The Money, Honey (Nelson cover)

Idea originally penned by Chris H in the early 80s with John C on bass. I came along on keyboards, restructured the song, added words and a keyboard solo.

Fishing - orginal song (early 1980s) words and some music by me, most music by Chris

From the 1980s, written by Chris H (words and music) with keyboard solo by me and electric guitar work by someone else whose name I can't remember. If you see this post, Chris, do get in touch.

This arrangement by me, recorded using a DAW

Leaving - original track by Chris H, John C and contributions by me.

My only foray into the world of electronica, and a tribute to German band Kraftwerk. Here's a story about the art of urination as practiced in the Bundesrepublik

Tom Pipersson

Popular tracks