Water 「水」

the heart's a hollow hotel
sing in french around an empty house
i knew you so well
until i thought i had you figured out

but we know how Rome fell
because there are some words you can't just throw around
and i never dreamed 
your crooked speech 
could paint for me
such pretty sounds

bittersweet, through my teeth i lie say "nice to meet you"
anything you've ever seen in dreams cannot complete you
settling, leveling the skins we're crawling into.

the television screens tell me it's a sweet view
i don't believe them though
running through a sleeping town
they're cleaning out the ashtrays now
i see you
i cannot reach you though.

Never

Fold and Unfold (ft. Nat Giuliano)

after the fever's swept under the bed
and light of the morning is already dead.
your memories enemies inside your head,
the mockery mantra the mania
of all the hurtful things that were said.

this lie; a love, a lecture she curses through teeth.
her language still lingers like smoke through the sheets
ephemeral fallout from her self-esteem
but how can i forget how she'd scream out
and dig right into me
say kid "nobody's watching you"

so sing to all the pretty girls
and never say thank you
stick to short conversations
and hide both your eyes
because no one give's a damn 
about a single thing you've been through
keep your love songs nostalgic
because heartbreak's a lie you know

so what's there to hate about sleeping alone
no dreams on display and you're soft like a stone
there's no need to believe that it's what you call home
and no place for the wasteful debates about all those drowning dreams
and where they go

so we set all our watches to the times that we've lost
and forget all the limits and lines that we've crossed
but we leave in our wake what came at too high a cost
and we stay far away from the days 
when our souls want nothing more
than to be thawed out in sunlight

well i was swimming in dreams and i thought that i lost you
but time makes you numb to the thorn in your side

well new days will come as the evenings all pass through
like cars on the turnpike or storms in july
because no one gives a damn about a single place you've been to
when nothing is yours except the moment you die you know


harmonies by Leslie Bear

Thaw

Keeping time on the notches of a stranger's spine
Painting sighs across the night
She and I would like to think we're paralyzed
But neither of us even really want to move
 
No regrets, she's smoking her last cigarette
Second time this year she's gonna quit
She says "we've all got a fix, but some people don't own up to it,"
But she don't even really seem to give a shit.
 
 
Lady
Shuffling, head down in the subway, a week day
Maybe I can catch you in the morning
Lately its been it's been so hard to reach you, I have to
Save me from this darker side of mine

losing sleep i find i always grind my teeth
Floating through this sea of static scenes
in humble speech, she tries to get a hold of me
says "waking up is all you need"
 
 
but we'll all try to see
tea leaves look like the phillipines
the names we speak are born of air we breathe
the things they mean
are fleeting as a passing breeze
but they're the only things that help us get to sleep.

Lady
Shuffling, head down in the subway, a week day
Maybe I can catch you in the morning
Lately its been it's been so hard to reach you, I have to
Save me from this darker side of mine

Anna's Song

they put sugar in the water now
to tell us life is sweet
and i know there's bliss
in ignorance 
but it's rotting out my teeth
if only i could bite my tongue

and there are pills you take 
to keep awake
and pills to make you sleep
but what do you take
to dull the ache
of whatever makes you weep
so "brother, 
will you load the gun?"

because i've heard
the engines
whispering
in garages
nationwide
and i've seen
the sickly children
you've deprived 
of natural light
because they've been told
the world infects them 
like a shiver in the night
so they try their best
not to digest 
the foul fruit
of life

with gasoline and cigarettes
we progress with what we burn
we read backwards
through the latest texts
because there's nothing left
to learn



and history's a stuttering child




we're redrawing 
all the maps now
because there's 
nowhere left to go
let's just rename 
all the street signs
on the nation's 
ancient roads
so we can lose ourselves 
for a mindless thousand miles

and i have seen
the depths of hell myself
from the comfort of my home
the modern life 
can be so dreadful 
when there's nothing left unknown

a routine 
that keeps repeating
until it seeps
into your bones

and you finally find
you've lost your mind
to the hum of a dial tone


i think i'll leave this one unwritten
because they've sung it all before
the search for purpose 
it goes hand-in-hand
with the hopelessness of war 
but the fools and troops 
march on another day

take that stupid senseless Frenchman(1)
who refuses to leave his bed
because the filfthy rot
of western thought
has crept into his bed
he says "now what's the point of living anyway?"

so we try to find the zeroes 
to some mathematic law of life
or we try to buy the answers now
for 19.95

please include shiping and handling
and we might just tell you why

(i've been told the slogan's old, you know"

you've got to live to die

(1) some wines/whines don't age well.  This was a direct reference to the philosophy of one Monsieur Albert Camus.    Don't worry, I would never reference Dostoyevsky.

To Sing Loudly of the Loss of

If there were water (2007-ish?)

well i'd like to keep the windows open
feel october mornings frozen
coming through the curtains all at dawn

but i've got no one on winter days
to keep me warm or keep me safe
and tell me all these frantic thoughts are wrong

but you set my clocks to midnight 
when i see you in my dreams
and we laugh until our heavy hearts 
are bursting at the seams

but mine's hollow as a gas tank
and i'm never full for long
love your sister, drink your whiskey
stick to all your pretty songs

so baby please keep telling me
things eventually get better
and underneath the faded sheets
we can sleep away november

while all the world will wallow
in its hunger and its greed
while we whisper the straightest words through crooked teeth

so i'm taking all my supplements
encapsulated sacrements
because brittle bones don't do a body good

when death is just the daily dust
that slowly covers all of us
a silent scream that spills
into each suburban neighborhood

Death, she's speaking spanish now
too quick to understand 
it's a broken sound that's hung around
for years in neighboring lands
until it finally creeps upon us now
too familiar to be scared
but our fathers curse the subtitles
wide-eyed and half aware

so we dance until the trees
bloom in all the wrong directions
and they're shaking out their leaves
in some decadent profession
that all is temporary;
like footsteps in the sand
so don't bother leaving breadcrumbs
when you're kicked out the promised land.

and the ocean's pretty anxious
to swallow up the land
and these nation's bounds like big greyhounds
are poised to stretch the strand

but we'll hold it off a while now
till we learn the exit fade

Hallelujah to the traffic jam
that is the funeral cade.


Bass by Jeff Schumacher.


Hungry Ocean

Speaking
to myself like a secret
said
I fucked it up again.

Reaching 
for a relevant reason
that I thought 
that I could win.

She's been
treating herself 
like a reject
skipping class 
and then
sleeping
dreaming until 
the evening

when she gets her cigarettes.

They all tell me that it's a wild world

but they still treat me like i'm a child girl

Can you feel it?
Swimming up on the ceiling,
echoes under the bleachers,
bleeding out through the speakers;

a blinking comatose

Preacher,
think I might've 
found jesus
acid tongue and 
I'm peaking
everything that 
precedes us:

The lives we've lived before.

He's been
getting drunk off of dreams 
and taking us with him.

Thieving,
living life like a weekend;
burn it to build it.

We've been
picking up all the pieces;
building fences.

(Leave it
give no speech 
unto grievance,
learn to bury it.)

They all tell me that it's a wild world,
but they still think of me as a child girl.

Can you see it?
An all encompassing reason,
here in every season.

I don't think they believe it.
(Just another ghost.)

Preacher, 
think i might have found jesus
acid tongue 
and i'm peaking
one more time 
and i'm leaving
find another coast.

They all tell me that it's a wild world,
but there's no coastline now yet for miles, girl.


bass by  Jeff Schumacher of Escaping Cybertron)

Weather

we're colliding yet again
Even though we said 
we wouldn't
Now we're scaring ourselves silently
Right back 
into our skins

and now I'm stumbling around the house
with a naked vodka bottle 
while you're 
sleeping 
with your new boy
Just two flights of stairs above,

in the darkness of the night 
we'll be fighting proxy battles; 
whispered words 
and at a party
tried to put your hand 
in mine

Just to check 
for signs of life
upon the love that I neglected,
left for dead
 and ghostly wanders 
through 
the sidestreets of the town

And then we're right back 
on your porch
The sun will rise 
our lungs will blacken
all the smoke that coats our tongues 
Will maybe 
sterilize our words

Because we both still want to find
A solid reason 
why we're still here
For the things we feel we need 
Yet say they should or cannot be

and so I pushed, 
and then you pulled 
and we
wound up 
horizontal
saying
“ shouldn't let it happen “
but you
seemed content 
to stay

until you said you had to leave; 
You couldn't 
let 
yourself
be seen here 
Coming 
downstairs 
in the evening 
to indulge 
in our regrets

I keep you close
Just a hungry ghost
Shaman or insomniac
A mural carved into my back

Don't you know?
It's all been set in stone? 
every 
end will find their opposite
While heaven 
has a laugh
 at it 
you'll see
Or 
are 
you 
still 
sleeping?

Never was

Keeping up with the end times
In a drowning world on fire,
Blind to vital signs
A lie, the progress of mankind
A televised nose dive right down to ruin

Remember we used to be young,
Playing house
And taking no shit from anyone
Fucking til we saw the sun
Had the neighbors all wondering
What we were doing.

A couple of months
Since the last flood
Forced out the house
into small talk with everyone
they said it gets easy when you grow up
but left out everything after you’re 21

Years since I’ve used the word love,

A couple more since I even felt dumb enough

Akemashite

What if I told you
I needed to know you
From the second I thought
I saw you walk right past me.

Showing off your trophy scars,
I swear I was seeing stars
For that minute
or two
I knew you
were staring straight at me.

and I heard the words spill out my mouth
and form puddles in my shoes,
In transit
thereby
weakening
the knees.

Heard my conscience say
“you can’t be afraid
when there’s nothing left to lose,
Let the current
turn your
worries towards the sea.”

and everybody
needs somebody
to belong to;
for me it’s you.
and you could love me
if you’d only tell me that you want to,
please say you do.

you do.

But you were an island,
a heart like a calloused hand,
Time like sediment
collects
and isolates you.
All I saw in your eyes
were merciless coastlines
I prayed
One day
I’d brave your waves
and navigate you.

Put names to all your silent streams
and build upon your bones,
and hide your scars beneath the boulevards.
Such violent things,
the hurts and dreams,
the loves that you have known
All buried by the brakes of passing cars.

Because everyone’s arms
need something
to just hold on to,
for me it’s you.
And everyone’s heart
feels this hollow in the full moon,
You know it’s true,
it’s true.

The names we give things change themselves
and arrange themselves with time.

A blue eyed earth sign
sat me down
and told me everything’s alright.

The names we give things
change themselves
and arrange themselves
with time.

Took my head in her hands
and as she kissed me slow
said ‘all that’s ending is the night.”

The names we give things change themselves
and arrange themselves with time.

Eight years on,
she went and found herself a lover
out in California
big with child.

The names we give things
change
themselves
and arrange themselves
with time.

I said
you'd be
the one
to leave
and you just had
to prove
me right.

The names
we give things
change themselves
and arrange themselves
with time.

Eleven years out,
I’m still drinking
alone
still writing verses
that barely rhyme

Because everybody
needs somebody to belong to;
for me it’s you.
And everyone’s heart
feels this hollow in the full moon,
you know it’s true, it’s true.

Because everyone’s arms
need something to just hold on to,
for me it’s you.
I know you could love me
if you’d only tell me that you want to,
please say you do.
you do.

wedding  of the foxes

after the fever's swept under the bed
and light of the morning is already dead.
your memories enemies inside your head,
the mockery mantra the mania
of all the hurtful things that were said.

this lie; a love, a lecture she curses through teeth.
her language still lingers like smoke through the sheets
ephemeral fallout from her self-esteem
but how can i forget how she'd scream out
and dig right into me
say kid "nobody's watching you"

so sing to all the pretty girls
and never say thank you
stick to short conversations
and hide both your eyes
because no one give's a damn
about a single thing you've been through
keep your love songs nostalgic
because heartbreak's a lie you know

so what's there to hate about sleeping alone
no dreams on display and you're soft like a stone
there's no need to believe that it's what you call home
and no place for the wasteful debates about all those drowning dreams
and where they go

so we set all our watches to the times that we've lost
and forget all the limits and lines that we've crossed
but we leave in our wake what came at too high a cost
and we stay far away from the days
when our souls want nothing more
than to be thawed out in sunlight

well i was swimming in dreams and i thought that i lost you
but time makes you numb to the thorn in your side

well new days will come as the evenings all pass through
like cars on the turnpike or storms in july
because no one gives a damn about a single place you've been to
when nothing is yours except the moment you die you know

thaw (single)

Weather (single)

I. 佐賀県

Rollin' up, steppin' out a white dodge caravan 
heard it through the grapevine she already got a man
she’s got that short bob, dye-job, four months overseas
and in a dive-bar bathroom she finally got a hold of me
so keep it to yourself, don't you ever speak a word of it 
and if the rumors get to moving, boy, pretend you never heard of it
she's a slender Cinderella singing sad songs sedative
but i'm sick of playing chicken, sugar, something's surely gotta give

and i know it's not her natural color but it does her pretty well 
surgical porcelain an uppercase letter L

II.  KIX

Shivering, stepping out of the airport
(forgot it was only A two hour flight)
drinking knowing too well getting on board
(that hotel check in would close by midnight)
so i'm sorry that i woke you 
from the taxi 
breathing whiskey through the phone
but even four years since we said goodbye 
i still know where your heart is i am home

III. Vanilla 

she wakes up late, starts putting her face on
(hoping that soon she'll be finishing up)
it's been seven years since she last had her hair long
(sipping whiskey together from her only cup)
the ice is halfway back to water any second she'll be sneaking back to bed
but today i'll weigh the things i say against the things I know i should've said.

IV.  honden

tugging at my sleeve
(please god don't Take this from me)
she says it's time to leave
(just one more drink or something)
we finally made it to the last train
(still out of breath from running)
but it still feels incomplete
(yeah, it's been a long time coming)
now i'm falling asleep
(is she ever thinking of me?)
while she's kicking off the sheets
I Don’t Know Who She’s Becoming.
嫌（嫌）

Splinters

the heart's a hollow hotel
sing in french around an empty house
i knew you so well
until i thought i had you figured out

but we know how Rome fell
because there are some words you can't just throw around
and i never dreamed
your crooked speech
could paint for me
such pretty sounds

bittersweet, through my teeth i lie say "nice to meet you"
anything you've ever seen in dreams cannot complete you
settling, leveling the skins we're crawling into.

the television screens tell me it's a sweet view
i don't believe them though
running through a sleeping town
they're cleaning out the ashtrays now
i see you
i cannot reach you though.

Never (master)

we're colliding yet again
Even though we said 
we wouldn't
Now we're scaring ourselves silently
Right back 
into our skins

and now I'm stumbling around the house
with a naked vodka bottle 
while you're 
sleeping 
with your new boy
Just two flights of stairs above,

in the darkness of the night 
we'll be fighting proxy battles; 
whispered words 
and at a party
tried to put your hand 
in mine

Just to check 
for signs of life
upon the love that I neglected,
left for dead
 and ghostly wanders 
through 
the sidestreets of the town

And then we're right back 
on your porch
The sun will rise 
our lungs will blacken
all the smoke that coats our tongues 
Will maybe 
sterilize our words

Because we both still want to find
A solid reason 
why we're still here
For the things we feel we need 
Yet say they should or cannot be

and so I pushed, 
and then you pulled 
and we
wound up 
horizontal
saying
“ shouldn't let it happen “
but you
seemed content 
to stay

until you said you had to leave; 
You couldn't 
let 
yourself
be seen here 
Coming 
downstairs 
in the evening 
to indulge 
in our regrets

I keep you close
Just a hungry ghost
Shaman or insomniac
A mural carved into my back

Don't you know?
It's all been set in stone? 
every 
end will find their opposite
While heaven 
has a laugh
 at it 
you'll see
Or 
are 
you 
still 
sleeping?

never Was (master)

well the girl that i'm missing is sound asleep
with skin as pale as the motel sheets
and before i left she said to me
"now don't destroy yourself"

the first night i found a pack of parliaments
that had drunkenly been put to rest
i looked inside, there was still one left
and i laughed until i cried.

and the kids that stayed up across the street
got in a fight with the town police
got maced and ran off towards the sea
in handcuffs he returns

give me something beautiful
or something quaint and chemical
so i don't grind my teeth
when i smell the sea
just let me pass out on the beach

the sun beats heavy on the boardwalk
so we went back to the room but the door was locked
we were too damn tired, it was too damn hot
so we crawled in through the window.

you and i got high on a bathroom floor
a block away from the jersey shore
and if this heatwave lasts forevermore
we'll be dead before we burn

you said the whole damn thing was just touch and go
but don't complain now, you're wasting smoke
for the first time we stayed in our clothes
and i passed out in the bathtub i dreamt that

my lover wakes up and calls to me
from a cocoon of satin sheets
she says "that damn whiskey
won't let me go to sleep
so do you mind if i borrow a dream?"

they gave us snow, we prayed for rain
it fell like wite-out on the plain
some drunken god's attempt to paint

we stayed inside from noon till night
drinking artificial light
like old men sip their whiskey rye

my lover was a fragile thing
a brilliant bird with broken wings
but what i'd give to hear her sing:

"love me tender, love me sweet
sweep me off my frozen feet
til synchronized these two hearts beat"

these hearts they beat in unison
the music is the medicine
to the sickness of the winter wind

because the blues
is for lovers
and those who have lost

we could lose
ourselves in summer
if we can make it through the thaw

lovely lady lay with me
my heart is stuck at five degrees
come warm me up beneath the sheets

show me how you cut those teeth
show me how you sleep to dream
til once again the world turns green.

海雪

well i'd like to keep the windows open
feel october mornings frozen
coming through the curtains all at dawn

but i've got no one on winter days
to keep me warm or keep me safe
and tell me all these frantic thoughts are wrong

but you set my clocks to midnight
when i see you in my dreams
and we laugh until our heavy hearts
are bursting at the seams

but mine's hollow as a gas tank
and i'm never full for long
love your sister, drink your whiskey
stick to all your pretty songs

so baby please keep telling me
things eventually get better
and underneath the faded sheets
we can sleep away november

while all the world will wallow
in its hunger and its greed
while we whisper the straightest words through crooked teeth

so i'm taking all my supplements
encapsulated sacrements
because brittle bones don't do a body good

when death is just the daily dust
that slowly covers all of us
a silent scream that spills
into each suburban neighborhood

Death, she's speaking spanish now
too quick to understand
it's a broken sound that's hung around
for years in neighboring lands
until it finally creeps upon us now
too familiar to be scared
but our fathers curse the subtitles
wide-eyed and half aware

so we dance until the trees
bloom in all the wrong directions
and they're shaking out their leaves
in some decadent profession
that all is temporary;
like footsteps in the sand
so don't bother leaving breadcrumbs
when you're kicked out the promised land.

and the ocean's pretty anxious
to swallow up the land
and these nation's bounds like big greyhounds
are poised to stretch the strand

but we'll hold it off a while now
till we learn the exit fade

Hallelujah to the traffic jam
that is the funeral cade.

飢餓的海洋

Keeping time on the notches of a stranger's spine
Painting sighs across the night
She and I would like to think we're paralyzed
But neither of us even really want to move
 
No regrets, she's smoking her last cigarette
Second time this year she's gonna quit
She says "we've all got a fix, but some people don't own up to it,"
But she don't even really seem to give a shit.
 
 
Lady
Shuffling, head down in the subway, a week day
Maybe I can catch you in the morning
Lately its been it's been so hard to reach you, I have to
Save me from this darker side of mine

losing sleep i find i always grind my teeth
Floating through this sea of static scenes
in humble speech, she tries to get a hold of me
says "waking up is all you need"
 
 
but we'll all try to see
tea leaves look like the phillipines
the names we speak are born of air we breathe
the things they mean
are fleeting as a passing breeze
but they're the only things that help us get to sleep.

Lady
Shuffling, head down in the subway, a week day
Maybe I can catch you in the morning
Lately its been it's been so hard to reach you, I have to
Save me from this darker side of mine

watermelon sugar

i've got a girl who lies to me
bends the truth occasionally 
says i'm the best thing since color tv and beer

she spends her nights in lucid dreams
stays away from most machines
tries her best to keep all of her windows clean 
she says that "life can't be bright 
if what you're looking through's not clear"

and when the party dies down, 
she leans on my shoulder
as she slurs her speech in her 1AM goodbyes

because it's moments like these 
that are keeping me sober
as the bright light burns in those big glossy brown eyes

and she's got 
a way 
with simple words
prefers her thoughts 
to remain unheard
except for her statements 
of true concern 
              
when i say the room's still spinning

but i try to keep her close to me 
with mediocre poetry
but she argues my philosophy 
she says "if life's just a game ,
then what's the prize we're winning?"

and if it weren't so hot out 
i'd swear i was dreaming,
that this girl's just another double feature in my brain

but to my surprise
i realize 
this girl gives life some meaning
and i have no choice 
but there's no other noise 
except the sound of her voice 
that drives me insane.

Cinematic Daydream in C

Those two hour drives 
up to old Santa Fe, 
your mother’s tongue, 
the evening sun 
and those aviator shades
were all you needed 
to keep you occupied. 

Well I fear it’s been two years 
since that rainy autumn day
 you said goodbye 
to riverside 
and then you slowly took your place 
upon that plane
that stole you away 
to the west. 

Now you’ve left your ghost, 
but don’t forget the east coast, 

we miss you.  

So I try to stay close 
to los Alamos 
if only in songs 
and in photographs 
because this eastern seaboard’s
a humid continental cage 
the ocean breeze 
is ill at ease 
until 
we get to have you back.  

Arms weighted down 
with bracelets, 
I’m weighted down 
with words. 
In retrospect 
the things I 
must’ve said 
were far beyond absurd 
but looking back 
is good for a laugh 
once in a while. 

That lazy hazy summer day 
we decided to dress up 
or that time we cleaned your brother’s room 
and found much more than dust
 or that time 
you got sick because you drank too much.

I would have held your hand,
but I couldn’t stand 
to see you
in that state. 

So I try to stay close 
to los Alamos 
if only with songs 
and with cigarettes
because this eastern seaboard’s 
a humid continental cage 
the ocean breeze 
is ill at ease 
until we get to have you back. 

and I wait for the day 
that I again can see your face
so we can lose our heads
behind tool sheds
with your nicotine and grace.

And I’ll wake up real early
just to talk to you till dark
and pray to god 
he stops the clock 
and I can keep you in this place.

Dormant Save the Flash Bulb

I found out my sole acquaintance 
doesn’t care for me too much, 
her words are clothed and often loathed, 
how I love her calloused touch.  

We settle to keep our distance 
just to keep our tongues from war 
but when I finally put pen to paper,
 find that I’ve said it all before.

 But oh to be such a stone 
and to unplug the phone 
just to keep myself company 

and now I choke my mistakes 
with these pills that I take 
just to keep me from thinking.  

She says dream up some new forever 
because all that we’ve had has dried to dust, 
our private eternity’s ancient 
and you can’t do that much with antiquated love.  

But my true love she smelled like whiskey
 and lived halfway across the states, 
a mistress who lost her luster, 
I’m borne 100 years too late. 

But oh to be a machine
and to keep myself clean
 from such sadness and longing! 

But the clock only dances one way 
and I’ve so much to say
 to the love that has left us. 

 So I keep my candles burning 
and I pray that I’ll see her again 
in some sugary sweet silver screen projection 
or a face in the crowd 
as she’s singing aloud, 
but dissolves in a laugh at the end. 

So I keep awake every evening
 to deny her the shelter of dreams.
 And I’ll block off the gates to my thinking
 till she’s nowhere to hide 
and she’s stuck at my side
 to love and to live till the end.

 But oh to be in the ground 
and to not make a sound 
while we unthink our worst thoughts. 
Well it’s all that I’ve wanted from birth
 just that blanket of earth 
I can share with my lover 

and oh to have her in my arms
 and be safe from the harm of a world that’s too hungry, 
Well it’s all that I’ve wanted from birth 
just that blanket of earth 
I can share with my lover.

Rejection of a Mercurial Temperament; An Ode to a Love Who Has Ceased to Remain Above Ground

Reinforcement

all instrumentation and vocals by Tomm Hart

Cranford Highschool, Cranford, NJ

Silver Linings (2005)

April 27, 2004

Skytop Drive

She said:
"It's all coming clear to me,
we're just keeping each other company
so we're not that restless 
when we try to sleep at night."

I reply:
"I believe you are losing your mind
because there's no one solution you'll find
to your love, like an ailment 
or loss of an appetite."

So we spoke of the past as a poorly written tragedy
with plotlines preserved, but no cue when to cry.
A tear-jerking work that in hindsight's quite laughable,
critiquing our actions and wondering why


we were so sad before we knew


THEY LIED
AS LONG AS YOU'RE IN LOVE, 
YOU CAN NEVER DIE
AND STARING AT THE SUN 
NEVER LEAVES YOU BLIND
IT JUST MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER

She said "Choice is a luxury,
what happens is just meant to be,
and when we fall by the wayside
tomorrow turns yesterday."

and so I cried
that life does not compromise,
and that it's simple to realize 
that if you do not move quickly 
the willing will pass you by.

So we burned all the notes from the ones
that we thought we loved;
eventually learned
they were somebody else.

Like the man who sits waiting 
and praying
to God above 
for someone to love
when all he needs is himself.

When all he need is to be told
"they lied,
true love is not a legal bind,
and do not be afraid of a lonely life
because somewhere you're wanted."


They lied
There's nothing wrong with crying all the time
and staring at the sun doesn't leave you blind 
it just keeps your eyes dry.

Staring At the Sun (They Lied)

What Hues Have Come Between Us?
My lovely reds and blues
the blues kept oh so stable,
the blues just couldn't lose
But how i dread erratic reds 
who couldn't pick and choose:
That's why i find the reddest eyes belonging now to you 

The reds were so outdated
Like Cable Cars And christ
Just as unpredictable
as a drunken game of dice
the reds could never keep their heads
or barely keep their cool
to think the reds would dampen, well i must have been a fool. 

the reds decayed like autumn days
a last ditch chance at life
but always falling from the trees
to make the ground a wife
they turned my wine to water
and never changed it back
i guess you'd claim the reds to blame for patience that i lack 

the reds just couldn't function
casettes kept in the sun
the reds displayed an awful fade
that couldn't be undone.
a fading in of consciousness;
all full of life and light
a fading out, a dying shout, the emptiness of night. 

The reds left me too empty, 
a sermon overplayed.
The holy blood not good enough
Prefer to see the face.
The scarlets far from marvellous;
a lust that seemed contrived
(You can tell a truthful temptress by the way she moves her eyes) 

I keep Rosé in bottles,
too bland to keep in bed.
Too weak for conversation
too faint to feed her head.
and how the Crimson reeked of Ire,
a blinding hue of rage.
But bark, not bite, concealed the fright of a wounded bird encaged! 

But blues have peaked my interests
predictable and clean
Dependable efficiency
like that of a machine
Cerulean knows all the lines 
that knock me off my feet,
her calculated compliments are ripe enough to eat. 

The bright cyans against the sands
don't cleanse, but drown my sins
for when submerged, i'm duly purged
until i surface once again.
The color of the clearest sky 
most surely clears the mind; 
the blues are quicker thinkers than any red you'll find.

Of reds and blues, i'll let you choose 
which one can keep her head;
of blues and reds i'll choose instead
which one is better dead

Oh! yellow of insanity is yet to be addressed!
And green of selfish vanity's an uninvited guest!
But one can only dream of all the yellows and the greens,
For reds and blues are now the hues that have nestled in between!


What Hues Have Come Between Us(ft. Nat Giuliano)

Dull rain in late July 
We tried our best to stay inside 
But the cold wet fingers on your bones so dry 
Convinced you not to run or hide 

And the days got shorter and the seasons changed 
I’m in stranger places learning strangers’ names 
But the strangest feeling is the guilty pain 
When I’m afraid I’ve forgotten your face 

So we drive on the highways 
With both of our eyes closed 
And keep all the lights on 
While our lovers disrobe 
Because we love to be scared 
By the things that we don’t know 
And not the ones you love 

Darling why 
Did I ever have to 
Say goodbye 
To your voice your scent those 
Irish eyes 
But there was never enough time 

So we find ourselves as tall as clouds 
When rain itself is plagued with doubt 
To start or stop or end the drought 
And put the fire out 

Like that autumn afternoon in an empty house 
When you first kissed me on the mouth 
You said that we had figured out 
The secret of electric love 

Cause it flows from your fingers 
like songs from the radio 
In silent transmissions 
Delivered in stereo 
To a metal receiver 
That sleeps deep in my bones 
And screams for you today 

Darling why did I ever have to 
Say goodbye 
To your singing voice and those 
Irish eyes 
Now I’m not sure if I’m alive 

You say leave I say ok 

She’s three sheets to the wind 
And I think that she means it 
Her words might be slurred 
But her voice is so clean 
It’s like rain in your bones 
Like a home you could live in 
Says “honey I don’t wanna leave alone” 

Like a dream 
Now she’s calling me to bed again 
Sounds so sweet 
And I’m not sure how this is gonna end 
Sound a sleep 
But I’m quite content that it’s happening 
Next to me

Rain

well the girl that i'm missing is sound asleep
with skin as pale as the motel sheets
and before i left she said to me
"now don't destroy yourself"

the first night i found a pack of parliaments
that had drunkenly been put to rest
i looked inside, there was still one left
and i laughed until i cried.

and the kids that stayed up across the street
got in a fight with the town police
got maced and ran off towards the sea
in handcuffs he returns

give me something beautiful
or something quaint and chemical
so i don't grind my teeth 
when i smell the sea
just let me pass out on the beach

the sun beats heavy on the boardwalk
so we went back to the room but the door was locked
we were too damn tired, it was too damn hot
so we crawled in through the window.

you and i got high on a bathroom floor
a block away from the jersey shore
and if this heatwave lasts forevermore
we'll be dead before we burn

you said the whole damn thing was just touch and go
but don't complain now, you're wasting smoke
for the first time we stayed in our clothes
and i passed out in the bathtub i dreamt that

my lover wakes up and calls to me
from a cocoon of satin sheets
she says "that damn whiskey
won't let me go to sleep
so do you mind if i borrow a dream?"

they gave us snow, we prayed for rain
it fell like wite-out on the plain
some drunken god's attempt to paint

we stayed inside from noon till night
drinking artificial light
like old men sip their whiskey rye

my lover was a fragile thing
a brilliant bird with broken wings
but what i'd give to hear her sing:

"love me tender, love me sweet
sweep me off my frozen feet
til synchronized these two hearts beat"

these hearts they beat in unison
the music is the medicine 
to the sickness of the winter wind

because the blues
is for lovers
and those who have lost

we could lose 
ourselves in summer
if we can make it through the thaw

lovely lady lay with me
my heart is stuck at five degrees
come warm me up beneath the sheets

show me how you cut those teeth
show me how you sleep to dream
til once again the world turns green.

Sea/Snow

pretty little soul
was just a daughter of the metro
smiling
fell asleep to the grinding of the rails

i didn't know
she'd be knocked out from the get-go
retro-
fitted 
rusted 
rhythm 
it never fails.

it's all greek to me
all that 
numerated nomenclature
demotic in its 
definitive decay

it speaks to me
in a vernacular of human nature
the plosives of 
the protests of the day

dead on arrival
up on 25th
our destination
the conversation
slips away from us

she sings nostalgia 
to acquaintances 
from finer ages
while lonely souls 
all hum the blues 
behind red plastic cups
they're singin

"lover lock your liquor cabinets, 
i've got no self control
i know i should be leaving soon
but i'm not sure where to go
'cuz you told me
the world outside's 
a frightening place
but this house 
is much 
too cold

i guess that's why i'll never call it home."

Ferrum and the Fauna

NJ expat in SW Japan
original material only
平成２年生まれVirgo
dm or gmail for contact or
LINE: tommhart
Instagram: Totorophotobomb

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