little cover of one of my favourite songs atm. I put quite a bit of effort into the recording and mixing and ive been trying to get better at singing so i hope you enjoy im quite proud :)

I seem to be a little outcast atm ive had alot going on in my life lately looking after family and stuff its sad seeing relatives in such bad shape but im trying my best to do what i can to help outside of that ive been trying to be more positive interacting with people and trying to brighten up their day but as hard as i try to be nice to everyone i meet and show them love and respect i cant seem to find anyone that likes me for i while ive just kinda put it to the back of my mind and told myself the right person will show up some day but its getting bleak no matter how hard i try im just outcast from every situation its so soul crushing and i know nobody owes me anything and i dont expect that i just need somebody like i guess its human nature to need a friend and i know i can be horrible at times and im not a great person but there has to be someone who'll take me under their wing idk i just feel like everyone sees me as a freak right now and im bundling it all up and i just want to explode and give up so bad but i know i cant ive got to many people to care for its just so much pressure my little brain cant handle sorry for my rant this is my only outlet idk if it even makes sense i probably seem psychotic. to anyone whos been in my life thank you for taking me how i am i took it for granted at the time but ive learnt to appreciate it now so thank you :)

Cannock Chase [cover]

little track i recorded this week very inspired by some of macs demos i like it tho its kinda soft and i put some running water in the background to make it more ambient kinda but i think that backfired it just makes me need to pee :/

now time for my little vent of the week hehe. its been a weird week nothings really been different just looking after my sister and grandma which is nice but ive been skipping my meds and now im back on them i feel like shiiit just so many thoughts and they just pop into my mind and they wont go away just reminiscing on how shit of a person ive been and how poorly ive treated people like im trying my best to make amends but im so scared of attachment and friendship because im so scared of messing up and making the same mistakes again like its fine to make mistakes but my brain just cant except that so im so scared of hurting people that ive just stopped being social which isnt good so maybe next weeks goal can be to do something social idk everythings such a mess atm just gotta keep telling my self that i have it alot better than other people out there which is true and im greatful for that so ive nothing to be sad about hehe :) just to get back to some of the reminiscing thats been floaating theough my head the past week or so ive been thinking about my old friend quite alot this week ive tried to block our whole situation out for a while as i dont think i had the maturity to fully grasp the gravity of what my actions had done and how my attitude and clingyness was effecting them reflecting on it the way i acted was very one sided i put alot of pressure on them and didnt even think to do anything in return i took our whole relationship for granted as if they were souly here for me and i see how horribly demorilising that must have been im ashamed for being so naive. idk this is all abit late but i am truely greatful for the love and kindness they showed me if only i knew that at the time. to put a long story short ive felt very lonely this week and this guilt only adds to it  i miss my old friend i know theyve moved on and i hope theyre having the time of their life i just really miss our little conversations but i know trying to reach out or re-enter their life would just be selfish and cause more harm than its worth. if you happen to read this i think you know who you are, thank you for being in my life and helping to create some of my most cherished memories i hope all the love in the world comes your way you deserve it :)

little man

hi, its Christmas eve rn so i just recorded a little guitar cover of my favourite christmas song its from the old charlie brown christmas album and it has some really pretty little phrases in it so i hope you all enjoy its only guitar but i only had an hour to record T-T

Now for my christmas special vent heheeeh, so ive actually not much to vent about ive been working like 50 hour weeks so thats been my life pretty much since i last posted. I have been back on a bit of a downwards spiral with my mental health i was doing good for a bit and i felt like id actually found some coping mechanisms and meds that helped but i can just feel myself slipping again its like i forget who i am and i just become really disconnected from everything i find it really hard to speak to people and hold a conversation i get really burnt out and tired quickly from the most basic things the most upsetting and frustrating thing about it is i dont know why its happening and knowbody else seems to understand maybe its seasonal idk ive just got to keep ploding on :) anyways idk if any of what im typing is coherent im just so stressed atm its my 21st birthday tomorrow well i guess today when i post this which is great but all anyone can say to me is its time to get a propper job and save up for a mortage and its all so scary like id like to go to uni and stuff but i just feel like thats all over for me now everyone in my family is just making me feel like today is the start of my slow road to death and ive just got to follow the same path as them i just feel like i have no controll over my life what so ever and thats so scary but i guess its just reality aaaaaa . i just hope that i can start a fresh in the new year ive really crumbled this year after i messed things up with my friend i never really recoverd i think now after alot of thought and reflection i realise what i did and i can leave my ego behind and admit i was controlling and selfish and did so many things wrong in that relationship that lead to its end i think ive learnt my lesson and i want to step out of my comfort zone and meet new people i didnt for a long time because i felt like id just end up being the same to someone else and i dont want to put anyone through my selfish actions again but i think with time i could be an alright friend i just need to find people willing to accept me and my crippling social anxiety lmao.

Anyway vent over i hope anyone reading this has a lovely warm loving christmas with family and friends and an amazing new year too. Merry Christmas and happy birthday to me :))

Christmas Time is Here - jazzy little guitar cover :)

Hi ive put together a few a tracks ive recorded on tape over the last few months in my spare time. The tracks were recorded in quite a dark point in my life mental health wise hence the slumber kinda titles but it brightens up with a little pan flute on the last track :D

Anyway im still coming to grips with life and trying to make the most of it, i hope you enjoy this little EP, thanks :)))

Ponder

Ill Be Waiting

Lonesome

Goodnight

Hi all, its been a while...

I haven't been working on any new music as of late, i will get back to it eventually but for now here's a little clairo cover it was recorded on my phone at 3am so please excuse the quality. I hope you enjoy and i hope everyone who reads this is doing well, you deserve it :))

Juna Clairo (late night voice memo cover)

Hi peoples, another year gone its gone so quickly. I've had a pretty good year this year I've owned one of my dream cars, gone to loads of car shows and I went to japan so I feel pretty accomplished unfortunately I lost my little car in a road accident but ill find a new one next year. On the music front I've not really been working on much as with work and other hobbies I've not had the time so i recorded this little cover tonight (christmas eve) and I hope you enjoy it :)            I hope everyone is well and that you've had a great year and I hope you have a lovely christmas with family and friends :))  Merry Christmas !!!!! (and happy birthday to me lmaoo!!)

O Christmas Tree (guitar cover)

Hii, MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!! 
Guess its kinda long time no see on here, sorry i haven't been making any music this year I've been up to alot and haven't made the time :(( Ive had a pretty good year tho i think, done lots of car stuff which has been my main hobby lately so thats why the music has sloped off ive also started uni im studying Japanese which is super exciting and im really trying to push myself and ive done well so far so good job me i guess lmao. Ive also managed to make some new friends which is nice, ive been alone for so long i kinda forgot how to be social but the people ive met have been super kind and im very grateful :)  (life update ramble over lmao)

 Even tho ive not been making music lately Ive kept my christmas eve tradition and recorded a little guitar cover so i hope you enjoyyy :)) MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY BDAY TO MEE !!

|Tommo|

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