You knew what you wanted, it just wasn't me

is it something i did, and did i do it to you

oh godmothercain please put this on WTIALY please grandma baby

i fell in love again
september tends to be so cruel
he says my name and then
blah blah, so embarrassing 
but then he came and leaned in
and asks have i seen how it rains
in the plains
says he could take me there
he’s handsome as the day is long
all the while, inching his way in
like summer stumbling to a fall 
we sink into the carpet 
already wet with november’s rain 


i only bleed for him
mascara running like a champion
he says my name and then
i come so hard, i’d marry him
but then nirvana leaned in
and i lost myself again
to the rain
he asks not if but when 
blah blah, something meaningful
i don’t weave the thread
just run my hands along it
but if i did, then hell
i’d spar with death to skip your name


i can see the end
in the beginning of everything
so i just play pretend
like i don’t watch you leaving 
but you were never there
doctors blame the lead poisoning

Lead Poisoning

78fahrenheit (demo)

Ethel Cain - nettles

posted on tumblr and deleted shortly after

Concrete (demo) - Ethel Cain

4pm in the hotel lobby
DTLA barbie
Taking shots of whiskey
Did you try to call me?
Out of my LTE
Staring at the TV
Look low-quality, feeling hi-fi

Baby I bleed crystal, glass is always hall full
With the pink moscato, keep the boys staccato
Kissing in the uber, I’m forever new here
On a holiday rodeo

They can see me when I land again
Back from Florida, popping Ambien
In the studio with all my friends
I don’t mean a word but I pretend
Stay high so I don’t look sad
I don’t want them to feel bad
Shot high and flew this far
But I didn’t think that I would hit the ground this hard

Dressing up to get fucked up
I'll spend all my good luck, but never in one place
Perpetual movie star, I’ll buy a brand new car to crash on the interstate
Look at my mugshot, god I look so hot, when they took me away
A superstar in the back of a cop car, I’ll get off no charge, and rub it in his face

They can see me when I land again
Back from Florida, popping Ambien
In the studio with all my friends
I don’t mean a word but I pretend
Stay high so I don’t look sad
I don’t want them to feel bad
Shot high and flew this far
But I didn’t think I would hit the ground this hard

Look mom, I’m on TV
A-list, but I feel like they all hate me
Don’t want to crash and burn
A lesson that would hurt worse not to learn
Stay so high, I look so bad
God, why do I feel so sad?
Shot high and fell so hard
That you could wish on me, guess I really am a star

Miss Anhedönia - Kennedy Drive (Demo) [Better Quality]

Ethel Cain - Mondays

Ad Nauseam

Ethel Cain - Concrete(extended prod.postumo)

one of her best that’s for sure

Sunday morning and I’m wasted
Had too much to drink again
Preacher’s saying God will save me
If God is real, He’s a fucking bitch

Tell my baby that I love her
But, right now, mama’s gotta go
I didn’t ask to be this crazy
But since we’re here, I’ll give them a show

Always run from the best of them
But I’ll fall for a piece of shit
Half-cocked ’cause he’s not a big boy
And I don’t wanna know that half of him

If you try to hurt me, I won’t stop you
But there’s something you should know
It’s that my daddy’s fucking crazy
And always ready to blow

The first boy I ever loved
Was a brother I never had
I thought, with him, maybe I’d make it
Maybe it’d be half as bad

Spеnt my nights under the covers
Just wishing hе was there
Draw his portrait in my diary
Just to hold when I got scared

Now I’m fucked up and I’m nasty
But they say I make it look good
I don’t do what my mama told me
I just do what my mama would

I don’t starve ’cause I hate my body
I just starve ’cause I’m fucking broke
And on my mama, I hate this country
America is a fucking joke

What’s gonna scare me when I’ve seen it all?
Been too sick to walk, so I had to crawl
When you leave, turn off the light
I leave my door open at night
To be strung out and still be stone cold
To reach the end, but never close to old
I don’t feel good, but I don’t wanna cry
If I can’t live, can I just fucking die?

half-cocked - Ethel Cain

tumblr

ethel cain - good boy

i just forgot it
sound of your voice
its so much better
just make the choice (just make the choice)
trust your gut
get out of here
you're in the forest (you're in the forest)
you're in the clear
i spent the summer in the countryside
just to forget your name (name, name, name)

how tf could you do that
idk what i'm looking at
you're the one who wanted me
you're the one who wanted me (me, me, me)

how?!
how tf could you do that
idk what i'm looking at
you're the one who wanted me
you're the one who wanted me (me, me, me)

i,
i just forgot it
sound of your voice
its so much better
just make the choice (just make the choice)
trust your gut
get out of here
you're in the forest (you're in the forest)
you're in the clear
i spent the summer in the countryside
just to forget your name (name, name, name)

how?!
how tf could you do that
idk what i'm looking at
you're the one who wanted me
you're the one who wanted me (me, me, me)

how?!
how tf could you do that
idk what i'm looking at
you're the one who wanted me
you're the one who wanted me (me, me, me)

78fahrenheit (demo)

tommy

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