I have been playing around and practicing in Cubase and have been working on old material for fun. This is pretty raw, right out of the DAW, with very little mixing since I don't know what I'm doing but maybe I will learn!

BY THE THROAT - RESOLUTION TO AN END

05 Greener Pastures

the light streams 
and all the colors were mine 
blinding decadence 
painful beauty 
naked on your writhing rusted canvas 
but you spoke so fondly of murder 
how quickly you seem to change your tone 
somewhere between the warmth at the center of the earth 
and the cold asphalt and dirt 
clutching and holding onto every breathless screech and moan 

all skinless faces, kiss skinless face as I purge 
all skinless faces purging 
all skinless face burning 

suspended just above your corpse 
I'm inches away and yet miles away from you 
furiously crushed in the chaos 
the chaos of the storm 
that swells and bellows around us 
but I am perfect now 
in my dreams I've waited for you 
now for I, I am the eye of all lovers
speak unto me thine black poetry
once more 

the air is damp with pain 
I can feel the heat from your strewn blood 
burn deep in my lungs 
one last bated breath and I'm gone 

it is some other force that drives me now 
purgation becomes me and so to the waking world I send you 
but you shall never rest in peace 
behold what I've become 
for I and this love are now one 

speak unto me thine black poetry once more
once more

04 Catharis

so here I am branded as a form of déjà vu'
a forgotten figment but I can't end this all this for you
cast aside regret and this tired moment
still in this dead air a casket takes form
a funeral for a grave with no name

but this is not an evening for your comatose words 
this place was meant to die
there's nothing that could despise more than these lies 
save the cold comfort of my ignorance
of my ignorance

but I swear that I've dreamt all this before 
I swear that I've dreamt all this before 
but something's different

So with the sun I take leave 
though my arms still embrace 
the sullen night sky
come tomorrow I will not be the same
never be the same

for was it fire 
or connotation

or connotation that flows through my veins 
and allegorical nuance for prose
yet still the air 
flees this room
suddenly my only battle is to 
draw in a single breath 
if not to reveal 
that which truly drains us all

untainted by whispers that have scarred my whole life
I'll always wander beyond doubt
Even though I wander I'll always wander beyond doubt

06 Dracula

and all I gain from questioning every thought that I contain is desperation 
that only fuels thoughts that I have no right to disbelieve
and all I see are sullen shades of blue and ivory covering every inch of me
stinging the senses of my sober sedation sighing like the setting sun I see the fear 

and the distance 
that stands between me and home
here without a tear
embracing all callous abjurations

it seems there is no other way
for we must cast dirt 
upon our arms and legs and slit our throats
in hopes of having a weapon

for our blood must boil iron 
and our hearts freeze to the touch 
for we should shall walk among them and do battle
and we shall pass amongst ye strangers like a bitter fucking wind 
and you shall know us by our names

fly, fly free o' hollow destiny 
on wings of uncertainty

(and they shall know us by our name)
and they will know us by name
and they will fear us by name
and they will fear me by name
and they will fear me

07 Fear and the Distance

and after everything I've felt 
everything that I've seen 
and all the years and faces streaming past me 
like raindrops bursting with shattering glass 
all accomplishments wavering 
static is the name that I've given this night and the many others like it 
and for those yet to come not the burn marks I have placed 
along the edge of my own legitimacy 

my hope is that someday 
all this will become to clear to me 
but right now it hasn't felt 
the way it should for far too long 

my hope is that someday all this will make some kind of sense 
so drink up from every last cup you can find here 
and follow the trail of smoke that comes from my hand

for sleep sounds like such drudgery

I can feel this changing me

sleep sounds like such drudgery 
so we dive in through the concrete 
and nest inside these hollow streets
find our place in the night

it comes like an addiction 
and I am craving omnition of everything 
and within this I am reborn 
and within this I am whole 
and within this I am reborn 
and within this I am whole 

sleep sounds like such drudgery 
so we, we dive in through the cold concrete 
far beyond the haunted frightened trees 
I wait for the sound of your imagery 
frightened by what I've become
asleep 

02 Good News For Egg Lovers

forgive this arrogance 
but if love so jagged, so unqualified, so quickly burning 
only whispers "loss" as a name 
for a faded memory of a dream 

how long I've waited 
for this moment to pass me by 
as it is so fortunate 
for me to be here 
though there's nothing to be said 

this new form of silence 
as it crushes me again
this new form of horror 
as its erased from all their eyes 

but I've found love once more in the comfort of posthumous grace 
embracing nothing there is nothing to fear 

sweet and shivering and yet overwhelmingly bleak 
small words pass gracefully through time 
sweet and so carefree and yet overwhelmingly bleak 
I have seen this all before

down on you and me 
this new form of silence 
as it crushes me again 

this new form of silence 
as it crushes me again 
this new form of horror
as its erased from all their eyes

hand picked to witness and destroy 
this one unholy medium 
this one this voice of purity 

there's not enough time to sever this from me tonight 
burning as it all shines before me 
never enough time to find you 
and burn it as it burns you 
never enough time to find you 
and burn it as it burns me now 

05 Silent Horror

as I kneel
faceless and without sin
and I wait
a part of me as your offering
witness the demise of our fears
as my tears embrace them

my tears caress the 
dirt beneath your skin
my tears caress the dirt 
beneath your skin
the only memory
left to comfort me
lies in metaphor
of sweet misery

and sprawled out across the memory 
we discharged in falsetto

forgive me I could not gaze upon the far shore where you lie
starving but lacking the gentle grace to die
forgive me I could not gaze upon the far shore where you lie
starving but lacking the gentle grace to die
forgiveness begged I

in the subtle searing light 
we drained our life 
and shared an eye 
and all I've learned 
is that there is no why

there is no why

forgive me I could not gaze upon the far shore where you lie
starving but lacking the gentle grace to die
forgive me I could not gaze upon the far shore where you lie
starving but lacking the gentle grace to die
forgiveness begged I

and sprawled out across a memory
with empty hands and open eyes 

we killed the driver and broke down the door 
that we've been speaking thru for so long
and under cover of darkness
in the subtle searing light 
we made our peace

08 Resolution to an End

ignorance has built a fence to keep you by her side 
but arrogance beckons hither 
yet still I stay here if not for just this moment 
the knowledge of my contradiction now put to sleep 
sleep
but in my seat protected 
my seat of disposition 
I find a peculiar item here 
a subconscious archetype 
stumbling and hating around for years 
just like so many drunken tirades I achieve 
full potential only in obscurity 

for if a hand full of broken glass 
could be thrown 
and return has a mirror 
than perhaps my friend could finally have a name 
but as for now there is no need 
for introductions

but in my seat protected 
my seat of disposition 
I find a peculiar item here 
a subconscious archetype 
stumbling through my dreams 
born from fear I slip away once more 

and if only eyes they could see 
if only words they could tell 
than maybe we'd understand 

and if only eyes could see 
if only our words could accurately portray 
than maybe we'd understand 
how everything that we do and everything we hear 
could echo and ripple 
across the infinite sea of intent only to return 
and show us the way home 

for here there be tigers 
waiting for the weak and dying like me 
and just like you 

but now I know the beauty of a bleeding hand 
the pulse that beats 
between the shattered pains of this fucking glass
and my illusion 
is a fence that sings for me no more 

for I awake in the wreckage somber 
collecting my entrails from 
the ground in which I shall never look upon again

03 Somber

you speak of peace
you speak of pain as if you could hold it in your hand 
and walk around here 
with bile flowing from your mouth
pleading to be tasted by anyone 
but what have you to say that I don't hear every day
now that your time draws ever nigh
I'll go to your grave and desecrate your resting remains 
to show you a better way 
but can we forget a strangers passing 
and neglect all but one dream remains
now 
you speak of love
 you speak of life as something that I'll never know 
O fairest of fairest of the fallen 
dance now for the swine
 that strip you down and rape you dry 
and make you what they need you to be 
but one dream remains

but it has to start somewhere
why not right here and right now 

whited sepulcher can't you see 
that you're a part of me 
and you're a part of me in vain imagery 
bound by twisting fate 

you speak of peace
you speak of pain as if you could hold it in your hand 
so what have you say you fucking corpse and conjuror 
your time draws fucking nigh
I'll go to your grave and desecrate your resting remains 
to show you a better way 
so can we neglect that 
one dream remains 

tosismaguill

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