The song emerged during a profound period in Tottie's life as she navigated the turbulent waters of anxiety and depression. It vividly captures the essence of a void she found herself drawn into—a haunting landscape filled with loneliness and a sense of helplessness, where darkness enveloped her completely. In this empty expanse, she felt like a solitary wanderer, grappling with her emotions, resisting the pull of despair for far too long until the weight of it all compelled her to surrender.

As she relinquished that struggle, something shifted. The oppressive void began to transform, evolving into a more bearable sensation that resonated deep within her. The emptiness morphed and intertwined with the comforting feeling of being cradled in a mother’s womb. 

In this darkness, there was an unexpected warmth—a radiant flow of love and compassion stemming from a seemingly desolate space. It was a realization that the very darkness that felt so suffocating could, paradoxically, serve as the cradle for new beginnings, a beautiful metaphor for life and rebirth.

Months later, in a serendipitous twist, Tottie discovered she was pregnant. The song, a reflection of her journey through despair, was recorded and produced during this transformative chapter of her life. This new life blossomed, with her daughter celebrating her first birthday in February 2025.

TOTTIE