Insecure attachment issues are very painful. Some may be familiar with John Bowlby’s attachment theory on childhood development. I talked about these in Podcast #63: Your Attachment Style, and encourage you to listen to it for an overview. Here I take the Anxious/Avoidant style a step further. Based on my own experience, and talking with hundreds of clients, the supposedly rare style of an Avoidant/Anxious/Avoidant is not so rare. This is when an independent person (avoidant) thinks they’ve found their soulmate in another avoidant, then becomes anxious that he/she will leave. This may manifest in choosing someone who likes you more than you like them (how could they possibly leave you?)so even if you have a lack of interest--it gives you something, or trying to rescue/fix someone (how can they leave if they need you?), or any number of different scenarios. The problem is, these relationships keep you avoiding YOURSELF and that’s not a place you want to live. Learn more about this style of attachment and how to break the pattern plus I also cover what true avoidant and true anxious behavior are in terms of characteristics--so you can find your style and do something about it. There’s a lot of info, so listen closely!

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

#567 The Journey of Attachment: The Not So Rare Avoidant/Anxious Attachment Type (REBROADCAST)

The same dance happens all the time in unhealthy relationships between an anxious and an avoidant. The anxious struggles with self-value so they perform: see me, pay attention to me! This neediness causes the avoidant to run. But then, when the avoidant is away, they miss their anxious partner. They want to feel that “closeness” again so the avoidant returns and the whole cycle goes on repeat with the anxious clinging and the avoidant running.

The anxious partner tends to blame the avoidant for problems in the relationship because THEY did the leaving. Anxious see themselves as the emotional ones while their avoidant partners are robots. In truth, the anxious person is avoiding too. They are avoiding their feelings and avoiding responsibility. Both parties want control, blaming the other person so there is a winner and a loser. Where is the love in that?? In this week’s podcast we’ll dig into attached relationships driven by fear and anxiety. There are no winners and losers here—only losers. Whether you are the anxious or avoidant partner, learn how to break the cycle by focusing on yourself so you change the way you show up in relationships. There IS a better way!

WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget)
Whether you are anxious or avoidant, it is about YOU, not the other person. And since it IS you, you can change your relationships NOW.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

#569 Journey Of Attachment: Breaking the Toxic Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Cycle

Labeling someone as a narcissist (or dysfunctional or whatever) often comes from a place of pain and lack. They hurt you, so you want to feel superior, but blaming them for the way they are and the way they treat you doesn’t boost your self-worth. It may temporarily feel good, but that puts you in the position of victim, and victimhood is powerless.

In this week’s podcast we’ll look at how to let go of the idea that they’re a monster and you’re their victim. “Diagnosing” them gives you a sense of control, but you do yourself a disservice when you look for fault in others instead of taking responsibility for the decisions you make. It can feel crappy to admit you CHOSE this person, but it’s also empowering because that means you can make a different choice. You can make small, loving choices toward you.

#686 That Narcissist Ruined My Life!

Jaime started dieting at age 11, was hospitalized for an eating disorder at age 15, had kidney dialysis at 17 and finally recovered at 24. It wasn’t until her recovery that she realized how much her childhood contributed. Before Jaimie was born, her father was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease, so she grew up with a father who loved and supported her, but couldn’t walk, talk, or breathe on his own. Food and exercise were two things in life Jaime could control, so she doubled-down on both.

Join me for an uplifting conversation with Jaime who turned her scarlet “A” (for anorexia) into a way of inspiring others to find synergy between mental and physical fitness. As a coach and Instagram influencer, she helps women overcome overwhelm and reduce anxiety through fitness.

“You can integrate your mental health into your physical health, and your physical health into your mental health.”

Learn more about Jaime here:
Website: Jaime Filer
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaim91/

#696 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Jaime Filer

Join Tracy Crossley and guest María-Victoria Albina. From her own battle with codependency to an unexpected shift from medicine to life coaching, Maria shares her unique insights and personal experiences. 

Listen as María-Victoria dives into the challenges and lessons of her life, from her struggle with perfectionism during college to her journey through an emotionally abusive marriage.

Regardless of where you are in your personal journey, this episode offers valuable takeaways for anyone seeking a deeper understanding of themselves and the transformative power of love.

Learn more about María-Victoria here:
https://www.instagram.com/victoriaalbinawellness/, https://www.facebook.com/VictoriaAlbinaWellness, https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoriaalbina/

#718 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with María-Victoria Albina

Avoidants have feelings, but they may not be what you expect. This episode shines a light on the complex world of avoidants, revealing how fear and control can mask genuine emotions. You ever notice how avoidants act nice but push others away? You ever notice that you could be one? Do you build walls when triggered? Yeah, it's not coldness (and if you’ve been accused then you know how that feels), it's fear. Tracy dives into the psyche of avoidants, sharing insights into why they behave the way they do and how they can break free.

Whether it's understanding your own avoidant tendencies, learning how to interact with an avoidant in your life, or seeking a path to real love and connection, in this episode, Tracy provides practical steps towards self-awareness to navigate these challenging dynamics.

No more confusion or frustration—embrace a sincere journey towards empathy, understanding, and growth. Tune in to find the path to recognizing and addressing avoidant behavior, unlocking the potential for healthy, happy relationships.

#719 Freedom From Attachment: Avoidants do have feelings

Heather Allison, a mystical guide and creator of Transformative Mystery Schools, joins Tracy for an enthralling conversation about embracing feminine and masculine energies and finding one's true self. Heather's remarkable journey takes us from the struggles of a toxic relationship to the awakening of her inner wisdom, redefining her life's trajectory. 

Dive into the mystical realms of your inner sanctuary, spiraling towards expansion and enlightenment. Join Tracy and Heather on this enlightening journey, unlocking your inner dreamer and embracing a life filled with authenticity and purpose.

#720 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Heather Allison

Join Tracy as she engages in a riveting conversation with Steve Q. Wiltshire, a former Mr. Oregon Body Building champion who battled and overcame a life-altering autoimmune disease. Discover the magic of produce, and the transformative power of customized wellness plans. 

Steve, founder of Body Temple Health & Wellness, shares insights from his three-decade-long journey prioritizing fitness, health, and mindset.

From personal tales of resilience to actionable health advice, this episode is a treasure trove for anyone looking to reclaim their health and power. Tune in and be inspired by Steve's story.

#721 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Steve Wiltshire

Join us in a riveting discussion on relationships, self-love, and personal growth with two exceptional women. Sherry Gaba, a licensed psychotherapist and life coach, is renowned for her expertise in codependency, love addiction, and trauma. As the author of "Love Smacked" and a frequent face on Vh1’s Celebrity Rehab, Sherry's dedication to mental health and recovery is unparalleled. 

On the other side, Carla Romo, a Professional Certified Coach and co-host of The Love Fix, transformed her life after overcoming toxic codependency at 24. With a passion for pushing individuals past their limitations, Carla's coaching has been recognized globally, from BRAVO to Cosmopolitan.

Dive into their shared wisdom on modern dating, self-awareness, and the art of intentional relationships. Whether you're seeking love, understanding, or a fresh perspective, this episode promises enlightenment and empowerment.

#722 Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Carla Romo and Sherry Gaba

I bet you think you do most things “correctly; then something comes out of left field knocking you over. The creeping feeling of "not good enough" can be felt. You then look at how you should’ve been better, did it differently, etc. This whole conversation is self-sabotage. Tune in on stopping the sabotage, feeling good even when there’s drama or issues and grow your self-awareness.
By observing how you get triggered, wouldn’t it be great to stop judging yourself and let go? 

Key Insights You'll Gain:
* Perfectionism steals all the fun!
* Don’t kick out the negative emotions, learn what to do with them.
* Getting out of the armchair and getting to living beyond your inner judge!

#794: Woah! How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself!

Think your happiness depends on someone else changing? Think again. In this episode, we’re tackling the hard truth: no one—not your partner, boss, friends, or family—can make you feel better. The only way to break free from frustration, attachment, and control is by looking inward. Because until you deal with yourself, the same patterns will keep repeating.
If you’re tired of waiting for others to change, this episode is your wake-up call. Let’s shift the focus back where it belongs—on you.

What You’ll Learn:
* Why controlling others never leads to happiness
* How to break free from attachment and insecurity
* The real reason you feel stuck in toxic cycles
* A mindset shift that will change all your relationships

"No one is coming to save you. If you’re waiting for someone to change so you can finally be happy, you’re giving away the one thing that’s actually yours: your power." ~ Tracy Crossley


#799: It’s Not Them, It’s You

Feeling trapped? Whether it’s your relationship, job, or just life in general, the real prison isn’t outside of you—it’s inside. Avoidance, fear, and old wounds keep you stuck, convincing you that escaping is the answer. But what if the only way out is to stop running?
In this episode, we break down the hidden patterns that keep you feeling stuck and how to finally break free. No more avoiding. No more excuses. It’s time to reclaim your power.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
* Why feeling trapped is really a trauma response
* How avoidance keeps you stuck in self-sabotage
* The hidden fears blocking emotional risks
* A simple exercise to stop running and start choosing

"We try so hard not to get trapped, and yet we trap ourselves in the very act of avoiding it. The real prison isn’t out there—it’s inside of you." ~ Tracy Crossley


#800: I Am Trapped

In this episode of Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life, Tracy sits down with Eitan Koter, co-founder and CEO of VIMMI, to unpack the real story behind building a successful company from the ground up—without outside funding and without a clear roadmap.

Eitan shares how childhood confidence, a few powerful words from his mother, and a relentless commitment to listening shaped his path from corporate leadership to entrepreneurial freedom. This is not just about business—it's about grit, reinvention, and learning to lead with empathy and intention.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
* How confidence and clarity often come from small but defining moments
* Why being lost can lead to the most aligned career shifts
* The mindset shift from employee to entrepreneur
* What it takes to grow something real—without chasing the noise

"Authenticity is non-negotiable." ~ Tracy Crossley


#802: Moving On to a Healthy and Thriving Life! with Eitan Koter

Do you carry a burden of guilt and responsibility that doesn't belong to you? Feel like something's wrong with you even when everything in your life is going right? That's the lasting impact of growing up with a narcissistic parent—where their stories become your emotional prison.

In this raw and revealing episode, Tracy explores her own journey with her narcissistic mother and the breakthrough moment that finally released her from decades of guilt. Ready to drop the weight you've been carrying? 

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* The guilt that follows you everywhere
* Why communication attempts always fail
* When you realize it was never your fault
* Moving from knowledge to emotional freedom
* Taking emotionally risky action

"There is not one damn thing I could have ever done as a child or as an adult that she could have been a different person or would react differently. I just saw her in her own little bubble." 
~ Tracy Crossley

#806: Getting Over Your Narcissistic Parents

Ever notice how you contort yourself to fit what someone else wants? When you play small, hide parts of yourself, or pretend to be something you're not just to have a relationship?
You can't have happiness when you're living a half-life. Subservience to an ideal—whether it's a relationship, a lifestyle, or some fantasy version of yourself—is just another prison you've built.
Ready to stop contorting yourself into someone else's idea of perfect? This episode will help you recognize where you're sacrificing your authenticity and how to reclaim the real you.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why suppressing your authentic self guarantees relationship failure
* How avoidants develop "imposter syndrome" in relationships
* The exhausting pattern of hiding who you are to please others

"No one who wants to suppress you and you wanting to suppress you makes nobody happy. Remember that. Happy people don't need another person to make them happy."


#807: Don't Be A Gumby

You keep ignoring your gut to please everyone else. Reacting to what others want instead of tuning into what YOU need. Sound familiar? When was the last time you actually checked in with yourself before jumping through hoops to meet someone else's expectations?
We're taught to react to others, to do "the right thing" according to everyone but ourselves. Your worth becomes tied to how well you anticipate and please the people around you. Meanwhile, your true feelings get buried deeper with each fake smile, each time you say "yes" when you mean "no."

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why we abandon our feelings to meet others' expectations
* How "doing the right thing" disconnects you from yourself
* The myth of mind-reading in relationships
* Three ways you dismiss your feelings daily
* Recognizing when you're reacting vs. honoring yourself

"As long as you don't give a f*** about your feelings, nobody else will. You teach people how to treat you." ~  Tracy Crossley


#808: Nobody Cares About Your Feelings

Caught in a cycle of blaming others for how you feel? You might think self-acceptance comes from others accepting you first. Wrong. That approach builds walls, creates resentment, and slowly kills your relationships.

Codependency, anyone? Giving the remote control to your emotions to someone else NEVER leads to self acceptance. 

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why you feel resentment rather than acceptance
* What is a trigger that leads you to a world of hurt?
* How to actually accept yourself.

"Where there is judgment, love is not happening in those moments ~ Love of yourself or the other person." ~ Tracy Crossley


#809: Self-Acceptance Is Not What You Think

Are you physically avoiding someone in your own home? Running to another room when you hear their footsteps?

Your body knows what your mind tries to rationalize away. Sometimes we find ourselves in situations where our nervous system screams "danger" even when logically we know we're safe.

Tracy gets brutally honest about living with her narcissistic mother and the physiological response that has her literally hiding in her own house.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why your body reacts before your mind catches up
* How childhood patterns show up in adult responses
* Living with toxic family members who gaslight
* The difference between intellectual awareness and emotional healing

"We don't really change unless it's going to benefit us in some way." ~ Tracy Crossley


#811: The Desire to Bolt

Do you find yourself saying things like "we can only talk once a week" or "it's too late to make plans now"? You might be disguising control as boundaries without even realizing it.

Here's the truth: rigid rules in relationships come from fear. Fear of being taken advantage of. Fear of losing control. Fear of trusting the flow between you and another person.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why rules are really about control, not protection
* The difference between boundaries and rigid demands
* What you're actually afraid of when you won't compromise
* How authenticity creates real connection
* Why middle ground doesn't mean losing yourself

"Rules are not the path to developing deeper connections with people. When you are authentic and speak your truth, you can compromise without sacrificing yourself or your values." ~ Tracy Crossley


#812: Rules in Relationships: WTF is Compromise? (REBROADCAST)

Tired of the endless cycle of self-help promises that never deliver? You consume podcast after podcast, read book after book, seeking that magic formula for perfection. But here's the truth nobody wants to tell you: you're chasing a fantasy.

The "fake Candyland bullshit goal" is what's making you feel like crap about yourself. One day you're on top of the world, the next you're spiraling. What changed? You're still you. Stop waiting for external validation to feel okay. You already have everything you need inside you—you just don't know how to access it yet.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why seeking validation instead of actual help keeps you stuck
* How victimhood and living in your head sabotage real growth
* The difference between knowing something and actually living it
* Why beating yourself up over past "mistakes" never brings peace
* How to stop giving your power away to the "wishing and hoping farm"

"The reality is if someone broke up with you, they broke up with you for their own reasons. That's how it works. If I have a problem with somebody, it's because of me and how I look at something." ~ Tracy Crossley


#813: No BS Podcast

Shit happens. That's life.

But here's the thing—just because life throws curveballs doesn't mean you have to marry the stress that comes with them.

Tracy gets raw and real about her own recent struggles. Unexpected life events. Emotional turmoil. The guilt that creeps in when you think you should have it all figured out by now.

Sound familiar?

In this episode, Tracy explores:

* Why we choose to stay married to stress instead of divorcing it
* How guilt keeps you trapped in emotional patterns that don't serve you
* The difference between experiencing stress and becoming it
* Why your business (and life) suffers when you can't separate yourself from your circumstances
A practical exercise to help you release the stress you've been carrying

Plus, Tracy walks you through a real-time stress relief exercise. Because sometimes you need tools, not just insights.

"I don't need to be married to the stress just because shit is happening doesn't mean I need to be stressed by it."
~ Tracy Crossley

#814: "F" Stress (REBROADCAST)

Are you fun? Do you have a spark in your eye or are you just a sad sack?

You put on your dating face. Your interview face. You're all excited and lighthearted at first. Then what the fuck happens? You turn serious. You start complaining. You focus on what's not happening instead of asking yourself - does this actually work for me?

If your happiness depends on external circumstances, you are screwed.
In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why we go from fun to fucking serious when expectations aren't met
* How much you complain about the person or job (that's your clue)
* What happens when you lose your sense of humor
* Why everything doesn't have to be your way
* How to stop sacrificing your wellbeing for stories in your head

"You have a choice. You do. Stop giving up your happiness in favor of trying to change someone else or feeling stuck in a prison you made." ~ Tracy Crossley

#815: Find Your Spark; Get The Love You Want! (REBROADCAST)

Do you crave connection but keep everyone at arm's length? You might be what Tracy calls an "accidental asshole."

You're not trying to be a jerk. You built that wall as a kid to survive. But now it's blocking the very thing you want most.

You date with one foot in, one foot out. You need drama to feel anything. When someone actually wants to love you? Boring. Or terrifying.

Stop waiting for someone who won't trigger you. That person doesn't exist. The work is dealing with the discomfort of letting someone in.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why you need tension to feel attraction
* How the "perfect person" fantasy keeps you unavailable
* Why you get pissed when you actually get attached
* Why you contact exes months later
* How to feel without the protective facade

"Emotionally available people do not seek out unavailability." ~ Tracy Crossley


#816: The Truth About The Accidental A$$hole

Are you exhausted from forcing everything to happen? From pushing through goals that leave you feeling empty once you reach them?

Most avoidants live like they're perpetually on fire—reacting, controlling, forcing outcomes because "easy" feels dangerous. But here's the thing: all that forcing keeps you from the very flow state that would actually get you where you want to go.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why ease feels dangerous when you're avoidant
* The difference between forcing and allowing
* How perfectionism keeps you stuck in empty cycles
* Sitting with discomfort instead of reacting
* Recognizing when you're escaping versus flowing

"When you're forcing, you're coming from a state of lack. You can't force a healthy relationship. You can't force anything meaningful. But we keep trying because we're afraid to let go of the false building we've created that everyone can admire." ~ Tracy Crossley


#617: How To Stay In The Flow As An Avoidant

Are you stuck in your comfort zone, waiting for someone or something to rescue you from yourself? You're not alone. So many of us live in what Tracy calls "the box"—that familiar prison where we feel safe but never truly alive.

We tell ourselves we don't need approval. We act like we don't give a shit what anyone thinks. But deep down? We're still waiting. Waiting for the right person to make it safe. Waiting for the universe to send a sign. Waiting for someone else to take the emotional risk first.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why seeking approval keeps you trapped in avoidance patterns
* How "safe" actually means familiar (and why that's dangerous)
* The difference between avoiding life and living in flow
* Why emotionally risky action is the only path to freedom
* How to break free from your own fucking prison, one small step at a time

"You have to create your own safety. And stepping forward and taking an emotionally risky action is the only way that you live a life where you feel it's full of joy and happiness." ~ Tracy Crossley


#818: Approval Seeking Avoidants

Are you exhausted from trying to make everything happen? From kicking down doors and forcing your way into opportunities that never quite pan out?

Stop. Just stop.

You think you're being proactive, but you're actually running from yourself. Every time you force something—a relationship, a job, a business opportunity—you're telling the universe you don't trust it to deliver. You're saying you're not enough as you are.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why forcing comes from not believing in yourself
* How attachment keeps you stuck in patterns of scarcity and desperation
* The difference between taking action and forcing outcomes
* Why avoidants struggle to value what they already have
* How to break the cycle of work hard → fail → repeat

"When you force, you're never emotionally available. I was forcing because I thought that would open a door that would bring what was missing, but it never did." ~ Tracy Crossley


#819: Are You Still Forcing Sh** to Happen?

Having a hard time? Yeah, everybody goes through hard times. You're not alone.

But here's what gets lost when life feels like a shit show: kindness to yourself. Not the bullshit "be kind to your neighbor" stuff—real kindness to YOU. When everything's falling apart, we get lost in all the circumstances and stories instead of asking: How can I be kind to myself right now?

Most of us can think those thoughts, but actually feeling it and living it? That's the hard part.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why we exhaust ourselves beating up on ourselves during hard times
* How avoidance and numbness keep us stuck in struggle
* The difference between problem-solving and actual self-compassion
* Why being honest about where you are IS kindness
* How small promises to yourself create real change

"It's not about the tenacity to get to the goal, it's actually the tenacity to be kind to yourself. The tenacity meaning staying on track." ~ Tracy Crossley


#820: Having A Hard Time?

Are you constantly beating yourself up for past decisions? Judging every choice you've made and wondering why you feel so isolated?

Here's the truth: We judge because it was meant to keep us alive. But now we use it to tear ourselves apart. And that harsh inner critic? It's keeping you lonely as hell.

When you're constantly judging yourself, you don't want anyone close because you're terrified they'll judge you too. You hide parts of yourself, thinking you're protecting yourself, but you're actually cutting yourself off from real connection.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why judgment was meant for survival, not self-torture
* How harsh self-judgment creates emotional isolation
* Why everything is actually neutral until you assign meaning to it
* The difference between having an experience and judging an experience
* How to catch your judgment patterns before they spiral
* Why your past "mistakes" aren't mistakes at all

"Everything is neutral. It's what we assign to it, what we judge it to be. That's bad. That's good. Don't do that. That's good. Do that instead of, okay, this is what's happening." ~ Tracy Crossley


#821: Judgement Keeps You Lonely

Yes, there is good in all of us. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore red flags in a relationship because you want to see the good in people. And it certainly doesn’t mean it’s your job to make those red flags go away; to shine that diamond in the rough! When you tell yourself what an amazing person you are for seeing the good in someone, that’s your ego talking. It’s the false part of yourself seeing the false part of others. And it’s totally rooted in insecure attachment. Emotionally healthy people don’t sacrifice their own wellbeing for others.

When you believe this martyr story and ignore or excuse red flags, you sell yourself short. You do NOT deserve a “broken” person who needs rescuing. That road leads to unhappiness because it’s an impossible journey, and you’ll never find what you’re looking for. Focusing on the other person means you’re avoiding yourself. In today’s podcast we’ll explore this story we tend to create, and how to change it. Ignoring red flags doesn’t make you noble. Let’s dispel that belief so you can shift to the real work: the work that begins with you.

WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget)
You are your own red flag. Surrender to reality, stop the story and be that hero for yourself.

#822: Ignoring Red Flags Because You See the Good (REBROADCAST)

You know what we all do? We look at people through the filter of what we want them to be. Your parents. Your kids. Your partner. Even yourself.

We're so busy projecting our expectations, our fears, our own experiences onto everyone else that we never actually see them. And here's the kicker—they can't see you either. Not really. Not if you can't see yourself.

This isn't about getting people to understand you. It's about getting curious—about them, about yourself—without the agenda of trying to fix or control the outcome. 

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why learning who someone is matters more than trying to change them
* How your judgment of others is really about your own fear
* The difference between seeing someone and wanting validation from them
* Why shame keeps you separate even when you're in a relationship
* What it means to feel your feelings without running from the anxiety

"We judge others out of fear." ~ Tracy Crossley


#823: What If...

Think attachment is about love? It's not. It's about greed, power, and control. Whether you're hoarding love, money, or status—it all comes from the same place: feeling empty inside and thinking that getting the thing will finally make you whole.

We excuse behavior in others when we think it benefits us. We make our lives complicated with our own bureaucracy—rules and patterns that keep us stuck on a merry-go-round of grasping for control we never had.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why attachment is really about greed and scarcity, not love
* How hoarding (love, money, status) comes from feeling hollow
* The difference between attachment and actual love
* Living from the inside out instead of filling yourself from the outside in
* Taking emotional risks instead of grasping for control

"We excuse the behavior in others when we think it somehow benefits us." ~ Tracy Crossley


#824: Attachment is Greed, Not Love

Does it feel like you're constantly striving to be enough but never quite reaching that point? Maybe you've been told that the key to feeling worthy is to keep achieving more and more, but deep down, you still struggle with feelings of inadequacy. The pain of not feeling like you're good enough can impact every aspect of your life, from relationships to work and your overall well-being. If you're tired of constantly chasing validation and want to experience greater self-acceptance and inner peace, then keep listening.

In this episode, you will be able to:
* Embrace self-acceptance and inner peace for a more fulfilling life.
* Explore the impact of not feeling enough and unlock your true potential.
* Begin your journey towards self-love and find inner contentment.
* Address limiting beliefs for personal transformation and growth.
* Discover the importance of emotional exploration and awareness for a more balanced life.

"You're here to take up space, meaning to be you, to be with who you are right now in this moment. Why? Because you're opening your future up to be amazing then, because that is how magic happens." ~ Tracy Crossley

#825: Not Being Enough (REBROADCAST)

Are you waiting for someone to change? Expecting a relationship to finally fill that emptiness inside?

You're blocking love. And you don't even know it.

Most of us grew up without a manual on how to actually build a relationship. We watched dysfunction. We learned to attach instead of love. We created expectations that keep us stuck.

And here's the kicker: nothing outside of you will ever fill you up.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why your childhood conditioning blocks your ability to love as an adult
* How expectations and entitlement destroy intimacy
* The difference between living in reality versus fantasy about relationships
* Why perfection is just another way of avoiding yourself
* Her own mother as a mirror for what blocking love looks like
* How to stop manipulating situations to get what you want
* The four key steps to opening yourself to real love

"Expectations block love. Every sense of entitlement you have blocks love." ~ Tracy Crossley

This is part one of two. If you keep ending up in the same relationship patterns and can't figure out why—this is your wake-up call.

#826: Blocking Love from Your Life (Part 1)

You think you're being nice. Accommodating. A good partner.

But here's the truth: people-pleasing is killing your relationship. Every time you don't speak up because you're afraid of conflict, you're building distance. Every time you sacrifice and keep a mental scorecard, you're choosing resentment over love.

Distance is not love.

In this episode, Tracy gets raw about what really blocks intimacy—and it's not your partner's annoying habits. It's your refusal to own your feelings, speak your truth, and stop expecting the other person to make everything perfect. Using a real example from her own marriage (spoiler: it's about morning routines and walking the dogs), Tracy breaks down why speaking up isn't about changing your partner—it's about valuing yourself.

In this episode, Tracy explores:
* Why people-pleasing is manipulation, not love
* How to speak your truth without expecting your partner to change
* The difference between accommodation and sacrifice
* Why you need to stop punishing yourself (and your partner)
* How to accept that you can disagree and still be together

"If you expect the other person to take care of you emotionally, you're going to be [upset] all the time. I don't feel like living that way." ~ Tracy Crossley


#827: Blocking Love from Your Life (Part 2)

A lot of us live in our head, disconnected from our feelings and intuition. This podcast touches on releasing insecure attachment, accepting your authentic self and getting “unstuck” by connecting to how you FEEL instead of how you THINK. I’ve been there, and discuss sensitive subjects using my own experiences with a lot of laughs and even more empathy… because we’re all flawed humans.

Freedom from Attachment

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