a culmination of my experiences, thoughts, rambles in my teenage life, in audio form, i had a lot of stories to tell and i still will in the future :)

humongous thank you to joshwa, this record wouldnt be shit without him
@prodbyjoshwa

thank you to our amazing guests:
@vaeo-music
@dead4cf
@heartstopmiami

and everyone who inspired me along the way:
@mijaru
@coldspades
@saycarbine
@1s1dia
@angelus7k
@backlightorg
@g0reset
@failsafeisreal

may 2021-jan 2022 for all these songs

2004, the ep

it was never like that
@prodbyjoshwa

strolling down rolling down 
my windows, blow smoke air it out
do u hear that whats that sound
we just riding downtown
looking for shit we never found
feeling stuck, feeling bound
guess we gotta go and 

walk away with u, that aint a new fact
say u love me but we know its never like that

looking for some love then u better go n find that
theres no way that im getting all my time back 

times i spent with u, it aint like that
im so fucking sick n tired of getting sidetracked
and i got my own time u cant even fight that
i cant be a model, i cant be a nice act

phone on dnd i cant deal with hell
i dont want u anymore dont hit my cell
i said fuck u hope u doing well
now its not no time for clues this aint show and tell

and im not one to look up to
so dont act like im above u
ive been dealing with this shit its enough to
feel like i did this all for none

sidetracked (joshwa)

crisis with who i am
@prodbyjoshwa @heartstopmiami

i got double visions
feeling sick and twisted
blood rushing thru my veins i feel addicted
lost my motivations i dont need it

and i think that i lost it
mind went off like a switch on a socket
i haven’t been too strong for the longest
i’ve spent more time to lie to be honest

mirror on the wall
tell me whats going on
tell me what im doing wrong
why am i still holding on?

intentions sick and twisted
try to get ur point across but i missed it
tell me i stopped giving love but u put me second
calling me a ghoul, acting like ur sickened

am i supposed to give a fuck about that?
u the one who gets shit from the past
make that your first point keep it to ur last
fuck u hoping that u burn and crash

gwen:
and im looking at the floor, six feet down
so when i come back home, dont speak out loud
lost my shit in class, i cant breathe now
i tried to write a song about it, but it turned into a speech

but i don't wanna think about it
or else i'm back inside the hole that i dig, when i seek,
answers to my problems
soon or later, my problems will end up 
in a drink or two
i'm fully sure, i grew
into an immature 
costume, of the mirror that dislikes me
i'm trying to not be

encompassed by these feelings
of envy, self loathing
and insecurity

STREAM

mirrors w/ heartstopmiami (joshwa)

if you see this song please don't hit me back up 
@prodbyjoshwa

yuh, im back, where the hell i been?
running out of things to say, losing oxygen
got stuff that i’m dealing wit, i know that its feeling grim
my mental went down, don’t know how to live

you so two faced baby
need attention lately?
and you asking why i’m mad? tell me how you've been
and you wonder why i wanna leave you down in a ditch?

can you shut your mouth just for once?
cuz you never seem to hear me out

and you’re curious as to why i hate you
letting everybody go and fuckin play you
and i’m tired of giving u breaks
when all these second chances never have been shit

and you fail to see the problem
cuz you’re so fucking stupid
how many times can you get so clueless?
can you be real, before i fucking lose it

i’m tired of making songs about you
you’re never sorry, was i ever really wrong about you?

twofaced (joshwa)

fun lil song brought to you by #goreset :)
@vaeo-music @4cfear @prodbyjoshwa @goreset

i been thru hell with the mood shifts
killing shit with my bros, with a new clique
living good and im chillin wit a new bitch
went to the mall n gotta new fit :)

vaeo:
and everytime i'm good you gotta fuck it up, 
going insane it's all i feel, it's hard to feel the love. 
i solve my issues with drugs, addict to turning up, 
and every nigh is the same, i'm face down throwing up. 
this adderall got me tweaking i need a prozac, 
rolling up some blunts taking every shot i can throw back, 
coulda bought you anything you wanted fuck a price tag, 
my existence got me so mad

can u run it back, let it go again?
and its fuck you too you a fake ass bitch
and u getting mad that we gettin rich
seeing us on top, can u learn to live?

4cf and me:
Keep up bae, uh, like what it yo problem like?
Used to have love but now that shit distant
You not sounding right 
taking up all my time and now you’re tryna take my mind tonight 
u be acting up so why u tryna hit my line tonight?
Ok you wylin you super childish
All you gon get from me is dry texts and awkward silence
I hope you like it
and it’s different now from when we talking from the back ends
and u werent shit u was a bitch u is a has been
You is not shit to be baby I hope you know that
Hey yuh
and i never been better from cutting off like its severed
From all my love straight to nothing I’m treating this like whatever baby
from all the times that we shared regretting it til forever again
No this ain’t my bad you switching up positions 
Getting sidetracked 
hate to break up your heart but i put that shit on a platter
So long as shits getting better I guess that it’s alright
i learned to stop acting up on shit that never mattered

run it back w/ vaeo + 4cf (joshwa)

i wish you never lied to me
@prodbyjoshwa
intro to my ep, 2004, with joshwa

and it’s late at night, i’ve been thinking about you
you lead me astray, want to get without you
but the connections were there, you coulda peeped thru a stare
thought we coulda been something baby i was prepared

and it’s times like that fuck me up
thoughts to recollect and i had enough
we could be strangers again, but i have the love
shit’s been getting worse, and it’s getting rough

dont know if i got the heart to leave you
cuz im always up at night, baby girl i’ll leave you tonight
i dont need you tonight, i dont need u tonight
and it’s crazy how you’re stuck in my mind

i guess i need love for consolation
and im feeling really stuck with this information
and its crazy how u lied, put me in the pavement
my emotions acting up, feeling sick with hatred

and i want something real for once
don’t want no lies i know that shit aint fun
problems i face, i cannot run
but if i leave u now, it’s said and done

astray (joshwa)

i still wonder if you're okay
@prodbyjoshwa

staying in the backseat of the car
chained up tied up, baby where do i start
heh, where do i start? when it fell apart?
when u said i was nothing, nothing

i saw it all, and it’s all my fault cuz i fucked it up tonight
all the times i hold, in my mind and i know, that i cant get back tonight

baby i know the truth
whats gotten into u?
in a snap all our love
turned down to memories

whats gotten into u?
whats gotten into u?
switching up like that for what? for what?

and everything we had is gone
time to say goodbye, so long, so long, so long,
now we solo, now we solo
cuz i fell in love but it’s done

and i guess it was dumb
feelings wrapped round a thumb
shouldve been thinking twice, but i wasnt strong
and i wasnt strong, i wasnt a soldier
never kept my composure

what's gotten into you? (joshwa)

lately i've been wishing it was over
@prodbyjoshwa @jades714

i’m tired and getting jaded
you’re never real i hate it
from all the words you’re saying
just a lie up in the shade

tryna keep up my head in the clouds
but what can we do if we fall?

i aint picking up, nah, if you call back
say you want my love but i know that i’m just a fall back
say your words to me, i know that u never meant all that
wasted all my time and wish that i could get it all back

making it so complicated
seeing shades of green and jade
when im staying down, the bed i lay
im floating but im sinking in

its sad that its a bitter end
its sad that we cant be friends
we cant go where we began
i lost the help that i can lend

but it’s not my fault and you know that
you’re the one in the wrong, for the longest
you’re the one who’s been moving on
while i been stuck writing all these songs

2004, the ep

tsuyunoshi