They Tried to Kill Country (But Country Fought Back)

They Tried to Kill Country, they said cover your face
Over my dead body, just know your place
When we’re through with your orders
You won’t find a trace
They Tried to Kill Country 
But we held an ace

They Tried to Kill Country, said limit your crowds
We’ll never do that, cause we’re Country proud
We’d rather be dead, if we can’t GET too loud
That social distance, we can never allow

Chorus: You have been played and now you’re afraid
Shouldn’t we just attack?
You don’t make a sound, as they’re keeping you down
Dealing with all the flack
Just band together, Despite the bad weather
You’ve finally found the knack
They Tried to Kill Country 
They Tried to Kill Country 
They Tried to Kill Country 
But Country fought back
                                                           
They Tried to Kill Country
Repackaged the flu
It’s not pneumonia, they say it’s quite new
With their mumbo-jumbo, there’s never a clue
They Tried to Kill Country, now you don’t know what’s true

They Tried to Kill Country
Just like peas in a pod
They’ll shut you up, with their factfinder squads
There’s no freedom road, just wait for their nod
They Tried to Kill Country
And forgot about God

Chorus: You have been played and now you’re  afraid
Shouldn’t we just attack?
You don’t make a sound, as they’re keeping you down
Dealing with all the flack
Just band together, Despite the bad weather
You’ve finally found the knack
They Tried to Kill Country
They Tried to Kill Country
They Tried to Kill Country
But Country fought back

Bridge:  Do you comprehend our gist?
You’ll get somewhere if you persist
Think of the life you’ve already missed
Forced into a cage and now thoroughly pissed

Instrumental (verse + end of chorus)
They Tried to Kill Country
They Tried to Kill Country
They Tried to Kill Country
But Country fought back

Vamp, fade out
They tried to kill country, but country fought back, etc.

They Tried To Kill Country (But Country Fought Back)

Disclaimer: This music parody is inspired by an episode from The Twilight Zone television series. Please note no copyright infringement is intended, and I do not own nor claim to own any of the original source material which this parody is inspired by.

Lyrics:

The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street

The monsters come so feel the beat
We’ll fight them now and that’s a treat
The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street
The monsters spread like wildfire
Bringing out our worst desires
Play by our rules,
And that’s all we require

Chorus: The monsters are everywhere
You can’t admit it, and you don’t care
We trust our experts all the way
No time to question, we must obey

Now I know we won’t be complete
Unless we all take the heat
The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street

The monsters kill, that’s what we believe
We’re stuck inside, we cannot leave
The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street

The monsters leave us paranoid
Need a scapegoat to fill the void
It’s your opinion we must now  destroy

Chorus: The monsters are everywhere
You can’t admit it, and you don’t care
We trust our experts all the way
No time to question, we must obey
Now I know we won’t be complete
Unless we all take the heat
The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street

Bridge: Little Tommy he checked it all out
On his computer, said there is no doubt
Look at our neighbors, see how they stare
They’re spreading the monsters, you’ve got to beware

Anti-mosnter, a sorry lot
‘specially when you don’t take our shot
Fear is the only thing that you forgot

Instrumental verse

Chorus (2):
The monsters make you live in fear
But just go out and drink your beer
No more worries, keep your faith
We trust the doctors, who keep us safe
No need at all to be discrete
Misinformation has been leaked
The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street

Bridge (2): Little Tommy he knows best
He says they’re superspreaders, that’s no guess
We’ve figured out, what’s about to go down
Now it’s time to drive them all out of town

The monsters come so feel the beat
We’ll fight them now and that’s a treat
The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street
The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street

The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street

THE INDIAN SUMMER BLUES
You can never go back
As you walk down the tracks
In that dusty old town
Where there's hardly a sound
It's not something you’ll choose
It's the Indian Summer Blues

You've got hardly a care
In the warm autumn air
It's just something you'll find
When you leave things behind
You'll have nothing to lose
With the Indian Summer Blues

You’ll soon ask for a reason
And fall back on yourself
It's the unusual season
You’ll put things on the shelf
An incredible bond
But now that he's gone
(You’ll be) looking for good news
You know that nothing remains
'cept the Indian Summer Blues

An unseasonable time
To look back on his prime
That remarkable laugh
In the old photograph
It's no time to refuse
You’ll have the Indian Summer Blues

It's the goodness he wrought
All the days that he fought
He would find a new friend
To the days reached their end
You’ll have nothing to prove
With the Indian Summer Blues

Carefully folding the linen
Walking down the old path
You’ll think that you are winning
But nothing’ll take you back
You'll be stuck in a place
But that's no disgrace
No one can accuse
Now soon on your own
With the Indian Summer Blues

All the days you’ll suffer
I’ll watch how you will pine
No we can't forget him
You'll be looking for a sign
No you’ll do what you please
In the warm autumn breeze
You’ll finally find your muse
It's no fork in the road
It's the Indian Summer Blues

(Instrumental)

Now the storm has lifted
You’ll tell yourself you'll try
My how he was gifted
All those days you’ll cry
There's no need to pretend
You'll start to mend
You’ll surely pay your dues
Still you'll never escape
The Indian Summer Blues

The Indian Summer Blues (2021)

SHEEPLE UNIVERSITY

(v1)  Sheeple University
That is where I earned my degree
Our motto’s here for all to see
Never question authority
We’ve paid our tuition, we’ve been bought
Now there’s no independent thought
It’s so nice that we’ve been taught
Never oppose this holy juggernaut

(v2)  Sheeple University
We’re filled up to capacity
It’s sure no calamity
That one plus one now equals three
Learn to bully, throw  a fit
Just obey and submit
All your moral bearings lost
Follow us and pay the cost

Chorus (1):  We pledge allegiance to our new creed
We feel no guilt over our dark deeds
Science permeates our soul
Our lessons learned—it’s all about control

(v3)  Sheeple University
We teach closed minds so you won’t be free
Censorship is now a must
Just obey and earn our trust
Victimhood is what we teach
On our government you can always leech
Don’t accuse us of overreach
Follow orders is what we preach

Bridge:  We must now intimidate
If you do not cooperate
Virtue signal, watch TV
That is really now the key
Be all you can be
At Sheeple University

(v4) Instrumental

Chorus (2):  We pledge allegiance to our new creed
We feel no guilt over our dark deeds
Science permeates our soul
Our lessons learned—it’s all about control

(v5) Sheeple University
Why not go for your Ph.D?
As long as you fall to your knees
Convincing all there’s an emergency
No more work, have you forgot?
Now it’s time to take your shot
Educated oh no you’re not

(Coda) In total harmony
We all now agree
No more freedom at Sheeple University!

Sheeple University

1692 Was a Very Good Year

(v1) 1692 was a very good year
In Salem, Massachusetts they were living in fear
No one could deny,  that the devil was near

Everywhere you went, it was so rich
Wild accusations that you were a witch
Hysterical people, they found their niche

(Pre-chorus 1) No one imagined that there could be a mistake
It got out of hand, now it was too late
What did it matter if some were burned at the stake?
1692 was a very, very, very good year

(v2) 1692 meant evil decrees
Fighting a monster that you couldn’t see
It was declared, there’s an emergency

Orders came down from way up on high
You must persecute or else you will die
It never occurred to anyone—this was a lie

(Pre-chorus 2) Expert opinion was the rage of the day
The people bowed down, all started to pray
There were no questions and they always obeyed
1692 was a very, very, very good year

( Chorus 1) THEY claimed there were witches, who they accused
They singled them out,  “we’ll give the devil his due”
“Let’s make it legal, the courts must decide”
So sure of themselves in their Puritan pride
Sinners possessed, and they could not hide
And all of the judges went along for the ride.

(v3) Instrumental

(Bridge):  Good Old Cotton Mather
The Minister who wrote the book
He pointed his pious finger
At all the innocent souls that he took

(v4) 1692 was the time to confess
Too many sinners, they were a threat
We have all the proof we need, that you can bet
A holy crusade, they had to attest
While pinning shiny medals right on their chest
Such an unholy plan, they could never give it a rest

(Pre-chorus 3) God’s vengeful word was the science of the day
Ignore it just once and you will surely pay
Don’t trust the science it’ll lead to your moral decay
1692 was a very, very, very good year

(Chorus 2) THEY claimed there were witches, who they accused
They singled them out,  “we’ll give the devil his due”
“Let’s make it legal, the courts must decide”
So sure of themselves in their Puritan pride
Sinners possessed, and they could not hide
And all of the judges went along for the ride.

(Coda) 1692 Was a Very Good Year
In Salem, Massachusetts they were living in fear
No one could deny,  that the devil was near

1692 Was a Very Good Year

Pod People Barbecue

(V1) They all came down from outer space
All of them started to cover their face
Some of us said that’s a disgrace, it’s true
They all were hatched and brainwashed too
None of them all had  a clue
Now they’ve got a shindig we’re all invited to
It’s the Pod People Barbecue

(chorus 1) They all were born with different brains
You could say they’re all insane
Spreading fear they always hear on the news
It’s their cult of experts, who peddle lies
Claiming that we’re all gonna die
Unless you take orders, from the CDC and the WHO
At the Pod People Barbecue

(v2) They’ve been programmed to take their shots
You could call them a dangerous lot
They’ll jab us all and they’ll never stop
It’s déjà vu
It’s a road, they’ve started to pave
Now they’ve turned us, into obedient slaves
This crazy cookout, everyday begins anew
It’s the Pod People Barbecue

(Chorus 2) They all were born with different brains
You could say they’re all insane
Spreading fear they always hear on the news
It’s their cult of experts, who peddle lies
Claiming that we’re all gonna die
Unless you take orders, from the CDC and the WHO
At the Pod People Barbecue

Bridge:  They’re cookin up a dish that’s oh so cold
Got the people scared, with their fool’s gold
Time to wake up or they will steal your soul
In this new world, you’ll never be free
If you believe there’s an emergency
All they’ll do is take your liberty
Or do you disagree?

(V4) Instrumental

(Chorus 3)  They walk here among you in their disguise
Claim they’re saving the world, deserving a prize
It’s really bad, oh if you only knew
They selected  the earth
Now they’re on course
To take over the world
With their alien force
Just don’t attend
It’s one big poison brew
It’s the Pod People Barbecue

Pod People Barbecue

YOU'RE THE QUEEN DEAN OF THE ROYAL COURT

You’re the Queen Dean of the Royal Court

You mean so much to me

All the mean deans in the Royal  Court

Still call you Majesty

You’ve got that heavenly look

A regal visage, you wrote the book

All is right

There’s nothing wrong

You’re the Queen Dean of the Royal Court

And I proudly sing your song

 

All the mean deans in the Royal Court

They bow down to you

The little monsters in the royal court

They don’t know what to do

You’re not afraid to take a stand

You always reach out—with a helping hand

Class has begun, no one frets

You’re the Queen Dean of the Royal Court

On you we never hedge our bets

 

Chorus:

Throughout the kingdom

Let it be known

The castle’s deep, you’re all alone

Why not embrace her?

The Queen Dean on her Royal Throne!

 

You’re the Queen Dean of the Royal Court

You left home long ago

When you first came to the Royal Court

You acted like such a pro

You had so much to teach

No one resisted—this Georgia Peach

The Belle of the South

Who stands so tall

Little monsters gain their confidence

Walking through your hallowed halls

 

Bridge: Now the Queen Dean’s in the kitchen, serving up bon mots

You can taste her luscious truffles, she’ll bake them ‘til she drops

 

(Instrumental)

 

The fiery trial, soon it begins

When you’re released—you’ll be ‘’gone with the wind’

Seasons change, the path’s now set

The Little Monsters in the Royal Court

Never have time for regrets

 

Chorus:

Throughout the kingdom

Let it be known

The castle’s deep, you’re all alone

Why not embrace her?

The Queen Dean on her Royal Throne!

 

You’re the Queen Dean of the Royal Court

You confer the PhD’s

All the mean deans in the royal court

They know you hold all the keys

 

Year after year your subjects await

Your word is good

Time to graduate 

The world’s so fine

Time to obey

You’re the queen dean of the royal court

And it’s graduation day

You’re the queen dean of the royal court

And it’s graduation day

 

 


You're the Queen Dean of the Royal Court

I’ll find my dreams in Pittsburghland

Gazing out upon the Monongahela
There’s the Allegheny River you can feel the breeze
Try not to forget the Old Ohio
That 3 Rivers comfort
will put your mind at ease

I’ll take a ride on the Duquesne Incline
I’ll ride so calm to the very top
There's so much work for us to build on
I’ll toil hard and yes will never stop

Chorus:
Leaves are falling
There were tears last summer
I’m not afraid, so can you take my hand?
They’ll be times of happiness
But also days of sorrow
I know I’ll find my dreams in Pittsburghland

Heady days are surely now upon us
As I pass on by the Morrowfield Hotel
That stately mansion gets my attention
She winks her eye and wishes me well

Chorus:
Leaves are falling
There were tears last summer
I’m not afraid, so can you take my hand?
They’ll be times of happiness
But also days of sorrow
I know I’ll find my dreams in Pittsburghland

Bridge: The smokestacks they used to spit
Corruption in the air
This land of milk and honey
Once didn’t have a prayer
Now the little children suffer
In braces that appall
The airs still black as I watch the children fall

Looking back at another fearful summer
I’ll drive on out to Shadyside one night
I’ll look on up at the stars of sad-eyed children
And ask if I can be their White Knight

Chorus (instrumental)

Chorus:
Leaves are falling
There were tears last summer
I’m not afraid, so can you take my hand?
They’ll be times of happiness
But also days of sorrow
I know I’ll find my dreams in Pittsburghland
I’ll find my dreams in Pittsburghland

I'll Find my Dreams in Pittsburghland

In Toba Tek Singh

(1)	In Toba Tek Singh
Are the days all the same?
Is your love Humna?
Is she calling your name?
Does she want to get married?
Do her parents say no?
Is there  no money? 
Does the wind start to blow? 


(2)	In Toba Tek Singh
Are you going berserk?
Do you shelter at home?
And is there no work?
Do you borrow much rupee
and can’t pay it back?
Does the loan shark come knocking
(spoken) With his gang he attacks?

Chorus: You say Humna cries, cause she is waiting
Do you need to open up the door?
Is it that the lock down’s not abating?
Is it true that you’re so very poor?

(3)	In Toba Tek Singh
Can you make a dent?
Was the landlord screaming
you must pay the rent
At two in the morning
Did the taxi NEVER come
kicked out on the roads
(spoken) Just you and your Mom?

(4)	You say the police
they are so cruel
“You can’t stay outside
You have broken the rules—
Do they have the answer, an incredible fix?
That you pay a fine
(spoken) or they’ll beat you with sticks?

Instrumental (one verse)

Bridge: Were you dreaming of your lovely wedding?
Did Humna smile, bid you to appear?
Was there  something that you were quite dreading?
A bleak mirage that left you filled with tears?

(5)	In Toba Tek Singh
Was there wind and much rain?
Did the roof collapse?
Were you feeling much pain?
Did you want to rebuild
and have the knack?
Did the bricks mean more rupees
(spoken) and the windows were cracked?

(6)	In Toba Tek Singh
Are things now complete?
Can you pay for the wedding?
It seems very sweet
You say you are ready
To fulfill your dreams
But Humna is not--the girl who she seems?

Chorus: Did you ever say goodbye to Humna?
Is it true that you just had to wait?
Was it that your soul was filled with wonder?
Does the hour feel it’s gotten way too late?

(7)	In Toba Tek Singh
Was Humna part of a gang?
Did the police ever catch them?
Did they surely hang?
Did they rob and they beat you?
And Humna now gone?
I’ve lost all my money 
From your Toba Tek con!

(Hum part of verse) 

Did they rob and they beat you?
And Humna now gone?
I’ve lost all my money 
From your Toba Tek con!

Hum and fade out

In Toba Tek Singh

Music and lyrics by Lewis Papier

Lyrics:

O HOLY ROMAN

(1)	O Holy Roman
I know where you stand
An upside down world is now at your command
Legions push back and you don’t know what they’ve got planned

O Holy Roman
The band starts to play
The rest of the children they must obey
It’s getting you down but we know you’ll find  a way

Chorus: O Holy Roman
You’ve earned my respect
The Empire has fallen but you need to protect
What’s left of the beautiful world that they’ve wrecked
So nice all the shells on the beach you collect

O Holy Roman
The questions you ask
The rest of the children, they put on their masks
Alone in your sandbox, a head of your class
Yes freedom is something that will always last

(2)	O Holy Roman
You hear all their jeers
There is no time to show any tears
They’ll never touch you as they keep spreading their fears

Now all the children they all stand behind
They cover their faces, they’ve crossed the line
Don’t listen to them, and you’ll be so very fine

Chorus: O Holy Roman
You’ve earned my respect
The Empire has fallen but you need to protect
What’s left of the beautiful world that they’ve wrecked
So nice all the shells on the beach you collect

O Holy Roman
The questions you ask
The rest of the children, they put on their masks
Alone in your sandbox, a head of your class
Yes freedom is something that will always last


Bridge: Right on your pillow, is your armadillo
Simon the hedgehog he laughs
You’ve got to agree, keep out of the tree
Reserved for your friend, the Giraffe

The world falls asunder and you hear the thunder
Don’t worry it’s not what it seems
Hold you head high and just follow—follow your dreams

Instrumental: two verses and one chorus

Bridge (2): In this world so much wrong
So you’ve got to be strong
Your mother needs so much support
You’ve so much to bring
With your gossamer wings
She knows how you hold down the fort
You’ve gone undercover
But you’ll always lover her
Together it’s a new dawn
Rebellion has started, battle lines have been drawn

(3)	O Holy Roman, see their Crusade
An invisible monster, they’re so afraid
The sheep are now lost and you know, where they have strayed

O Holy Roman we live in dark times
They isolate, committing dark crimes
But you fly to the sun, so far away from the grime

Chorus: O Holy Roman
You’ve earned my respect
The Empire has fallen but you need to protect
What’s left of the beautiful world that they’ve wrecked
So nice all the shells on the beach you collect

O Holy Roman
The questions you ask
The rest of the children, they put on their masks
Alone in your sandbox, a head of your class
Yes freedom is something that will always last

O Holy Roman

Music and Lyrics by Lewis Papier

FACT CHECKER

I’m a lonely Fact Checker
Guaranteed a home-wrecker
This is what I like to do
You’ll never find me lax
‘Cause I just deal in facts
Now I am coming after you

Just listen I’m your teacher
A blatant over-reacher
You need to answer when I call
I determine truth
By always finding proof
Now it’s time for you to fall

Chorus:
When you get it wrong
I’ll start to sing my song
That you have fallen off the tracks
All of it depends
If you can make amends
Otherwise there’s no turning back

Yes I am your director
Never your protector
Please don’t ever stand too tall
You can sadly bet
They’ll be much regret
When you decide you won’t play ball

Bridge: I’m the boss and you’ll be lost
Pretending you’re the missing link
Use your wits, cause if your facts don’t fit
Just what are people gonna think?

I’m a lonely Fact Checker
Guaranteed a home-wrecker
Do you want to lose your job?
You’ll be all alone, stuck indoors at home
Feeling like a useless slob

Call me a real player
A Certified doomsayer
I’ll make sure you win first prize
Yes I have got your back
When you have all the facts
So nice you’re saving so many lives

Chorus: We’ll put you to the test
Just be like the rest
Or else you’re gonna have to hide
If you don’t play along
You’ll find you don’t belong
It’s never good to buck the tide

There is no one finer
Call me a designer
I design the fact check codes
If your facts aren’t right
We’ll condemn you as a blight
Ensuring that you will implode

Instrumental on chorus and two verses

Chorus: When you get it wrong
I’ll start to sing my song
That you have fallen off the tracks
All of it depends
If you can make amends
Otherwise there’s no turning back

I’m a lonely, fact checker
Guaranteed a home-wrecker
This is what I like to do
You’ll never find me lax
‘Cause I just deal in facts
Now I’m coming after you….after you
Now I’m coming after you

I'll Find my Dreams in Pittsburghland

Turfseer

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