His name is Joel. He knows what you're thinking. And it's not what you'd think!

Joel 1: I Know What You're Thinking

Turnip reads beautiful poetry to an indifferent audience in Northcrest Park.

Turnip Mask designed by Chubs World.

Poems For Sale

Poems For Sale 1: Northcrest Park

Content Warning: This contains dialogue about pedophilia and sexual abuse.

This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental. 

This Is Michael Jackson.

Written, Performed, and Illustrated by turnip.

Edited and Produced by That Raspberry Devil.

MUSIC
Zodiac Serenade - George Duning
Lujon - Harry Mancini
Bad - Michael Jackson

Special Thanks
BradleyB who was an early investor in Adobe Photoshop and lent his mastery to several of these images.
Josh Bayer who's incredible feedback on the "3Michaels" graphic improved it significantly.

This Is Michael Jackson

I am talking about Dune to promote my next project

How To Talk About Dune

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnip_big

This story is for Bradley B who inspired it, he is recipient of all my black roses.
It is also dedicated to Jason the cartoonist.
Like his Leonard Cohen short, this is a true story.

Music:

Moses Rosenthaler - Alexandre Desplat
Mouthwash De Menthe - Alexandre Desplat
Freudian Slippers - Chilly Gonzales
Philly Glass - Prophecies

Really Weird Al

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnip_big

This story is about Neon White.

"I keep falling in love 
with my mother, 
I don't want to hurt her 
of all people to hurt"
- Jack Kerouac

"Are you telling me that my mom has got the hots for me?" 
- Marty McFly

Neon White

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnip_big
What if god was one of us?
Mama Mia! This piece is a satire of Alan Moore's Hologram Theory! 
MUSIC
Contemplation -  Hélène Vogelsinger

It's A Me

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnip_big

Part 2 of a 4 part series dedicated to all 4 of my heroes; Sweet Baby Ray Liotta, Jimmy Caan, Paulie Sorvino and the immortal Paulie Walnuts. Salud!

Music: Session At Pete's Pad - Henry Mancini And His Orchestra

I'm A Gangster Baby, Sweetheart - Part 2

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnip_big

A Shaggy Dog for Christmas!

Dedicated to Seth and Sparky.

MUSIC
Abdullah Ibrahim - Bra Timing From Phomolong
Dave Stryker - Christmas Time is Here, Blue Christmas, Happy Xmas, Sleigh Ride
Vince Guaraldi Trio - Schroeder
Googie Rene - Smokey Joe's La La
Chilly Gonzalez - Freudian Slippers

A Tangentially Charlie Brown Christmas

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnip_big

Told here is the tale of the man known to history as William Madison.

MUSIC
Oregano - Chilly Gonzalez
Gogol - Chilly Gonzalez
River Waltz - Lang Lang, Alexandre Desplat

The Sand Man

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnip_big

I can't Believe someone's talking about the OScars!!!

How To Talk About The Oscars

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnip_big

In this one a dirty business man comes clean.

Music -
Berceuse in D Flat Major Op. 7 - Fredric Chopin, YUNDI
Chantes Des Femmes - Medeski Martin and Wood
Endless Night - Dominik Scherrer

Cleanin' House

They call's him the Bonefucker and his name elucidates what he does! Another comedy about tragedy!

Featuring 
Turnip as Man, Bonefucker
Katerina Godoy as Pregnant Wife

MUSIC
Martin Denny - The Enchanted Sea
Kava Kon - Palace of The Tiger Woman
The Sweet Enoughs - Dream Puppy
Moonbird - De Wolfe Music
Stormy Weather - George Duning

The Bonef*cker

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnip_big


🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnip_big

"Man thinks 'cause he rules the earth he can do with it as he please / And if things don't change soon, he will / Oh, man has invented his doom." ~Bob Dylan. Merry Christmas.

Christmas Is For The Birds

🎉 Patreon:  https://www.patreon.com/turnip_big

A tale of destiny, divinity, sticks, and asses.

STARRING
Turnip 
Katerina Stryker 

Edited by That Raspberry Devil

MUSIC:
Lied ohne Worte No 6 in G minor Op 19 - Felix Mendelssohn
Pour appeler la joie Charme - Federico Mompou
Warszawa - Teddy Lasry

Le roi samuse Passepied - Leo Delibes
Promising Relationship - Kevin Macleod

Playing Doctor

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio


Welcome to my channel! Please do not send me to my grandchildren!

ANIMATION
Graham Gillett of @mentalmedia2938 

MUSIC 
Kevin Macleod -- New Friendly

Welcome To Turnip's Odd Audio Channel

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio 

Come on down and Talk Dunes with your favorite Waxy Turnip!

TUNES TALKED -
The Thrill is Gone -- BB King
Dune Medley -- Toto
Space Jazz -- Kevin Macleod
Murder On the Dance Floor -- Sophie Ellis-Bextor
Nobody Loves Me But My Momma -- BB King

Talkin Dune 2

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio
It's War! And it's worse than ever this time!
FEATURING
AJ ALLEGRA as Max/Mayor McElroy/Rudolph Hitler
TURNIP as Principal Quigley
KATERINA STRYKER as Max's Children

WRITTEN/EDITED/ILLUSTRATED
BY turnip

MUSIC
KEVIN MACLEOD - Doh De Oh, Dangerous, Friendly Day, Round Drums, A Very Brady Special, Dark Hallway, Aunt Tagonist, Trouble
JOHN PHILIP SOUSA - Stars And Stripes Forever

War!

Have you heard the one about the woman who tried to marry Captain Kev?? She heard he was looking for a First Mate. 
Based on Dostoyevsky's White Nights. 

MUSIC
Jesus Loves Me - Davell Crawford

First Mate

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio

The Minute Hour has vanished! But like a mighty Sun Tree, Turbulence rises from the ashes! Skyward! 

Starring
The Minute Hour

MUSIC
The Photographer Acts 2 and 3 - Phil Glass

Turbulence feat. The Minute Hour

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio

Special Delivery!! This new bad boy from Turnip's Odd Audio is the whole package! It's got Bad Boys, Good Babies, and the Spirit of Death known to all as Time! 

Written and Performed By
Turnip

MUSIC
Perdido - Duke Ellington
Honeysuckle Rose -- Teddy Rose
Tired of Waiting For You -- Bill Frisell

Delivery

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio

Archeology Is A Joke, and everyone's in on it! 

MUSIC
Innervisions - DJ CAM

Archeology Is A Joke (Rest In Peace Jimmy Carter)

🎉 Patreon: www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio

A uniquely unremarkable man’s life is upended when he sees his double.

Doppleganger

🎉 Patreon: www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio

I know what you're thinking! Our guy Turnip is dying up there! Well, stick with this and it'll stick with you! Its sticky! Like my hands after a trip to the bathroom!

Written/Performed by
Turnip

Sound Design by
That Raspberry Devil

MY STAND UP

🎉 Patreon: www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio
This is a video about How To Talk About Jalen Brunson

How to Talk About Jalen Brunson

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio

Have you ever had a loud neighbor, heard a dog bark, or wanted to drive your Honda Civic SI in front of a freight train? Then this one is for you!!

Train Ya Dog (Loud Life)

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio

In the court of kings, no love is without treason.

Lancelot

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio

Have you ever wondered what it was like when Michael Myers first went to therapy? Don't! The answer to that question, along with the current whereabouts of Ramzi Yousef and Osama bin Laden, gets revealed in this comedy sketch.

STARRING 
Kat Stryker
Turnip

Michael Myers Goes To Therapy

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio

Do you like Scary Movies?? I don't, I always say Life's Scary Enough. In either case you're sure to like this first installment of Turnip's newest ongoing odd audio adventure! 

Happy Halloween!

Written/Performed by
Turnip

MUSIC
The Minute Hour

Life's Scary Enough - Part 1

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio

Do you like Scary Movies?? I don't, I always say Life's Scary Enough. In either case you're sure to like this second installment of Turnip's newest ongoing odd audio adventure! 

Happy Halloween!

Written/Performed by
Turnip

MUSIC
The Minute Hour

The Mayor and The Mailman - Life's Scary Enough: Part 2

🎉 Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/turnipsoddaudio

There's only one reindeer who can save Christmas, and only one child who can talk him down.

Written/Performed by
Turnip

turnip.

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