POST MORTEM THOUGHTS (Prod. By Benihana Boy)

Cthulhu - TwoShoes
Written and performed by TwoShoes
Mixed and mastered by @areyoufeelingitnowmrkrebs
Beat produced by Brian Romo

Find TwoShoes on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, and more at:
Linktr.ee/TwoShoes

Lyrics:

It still hasn’t Sunk in
I’m so fucking Lucky
No, fuck that, I’m Blessed
I used to be stuck in an ugly and stressful relationship
Stuck with a Basic Bitch
Getting crazier by the day
And she basically Buffalo Bill so I
Put it to bed like she tucked in
I jumped ship and swam
Lugging my children, we Made it to land
As soon as we outran Cthulhu
I murdered the fool that I used to be
He ain’t coming back
No matter the Voodoo,
I Cancelled his HULU
Now standing before you is TwoShoes
And I’m made to run this
I’m straight Forrest-Gumpin’
But you disadvantaged
You Lieutenant Dans
Now truly, what do you fools have going for you
Besides your dependencies?
Booze and amphetamines
Failing marriages
Blame the miscarriages
Spending the money that you should be saving
I’m focused on Bettering me on the daily
and making sure I get this food to these babies
Don’t ask me bout nothing
My shit hit the fan and it Splattered the oven
Man, who would’ve thunk that I’d scrape the remains
And I’d Turn em to gravy?
I made this from scratch and That’s factual
It’s okay if you jealous, That’s natural
Me and my fellas, We radical
Straight to the top, Ain’t No gradual
Bitch, you want beef? This the cattlecall
I’ll lay you out, Make you lateral
Focused, I Don’t need no aderall
Now put your hands up, Where the capital?

"Never before in our history...have these forces been so united...they are unanimous in their hate for me, and I welcome their hatred!"

I don’t understand how I take this for granted
The way this shit panned out,
It couldn’t have ended up better Had this shit Planned out
Got all this free time and I Cannot relax now
Cause I’m feeling creative
But I can’t concentrate long enough to relay all these
Thoughts and these prayers and emotions to paper
For someone come knock with a problem
They need me to solve it (Fuck!)
Came up with some shit that would slay,
But I Lost it
And I hate to say it but if I’m being honest
Sometimes if feel like it’s always bullshit nonsense
In no way requires parental involvement, UGH
But don’t get me wrong,
They all Daddy’s boys for a reason
I’m thankful to Jesus for how far he’s brought me
You know what they say bout the grass being greener?
That shit a mirage, man,
I don’t believe it
I’m pulling up weeds and
Mowing my lawn, man
Rake up the stress and the pressure
and make it a weapon
Respect the machete
I’m farming, yuh
Hispanic and proud
Milking the cheddar and Branding the cow
Fetching up lettuce and Stacking it now
Baking the bread up
Now fix me a sandwich, I’m starving
Yeah, I’m white washed
I got me a gringa that I’ve been involved with
She Cleaning the dishes and doing the laundry
She Kate McKinnon mixed with Sara Connor and
Nicki Minaj in the back
She always get mean looks from hood rats and chicas
I guess what I mean is These bitches envious
They may get between us but they Can’t get between us
Cause she my soul mate and it’s Obvious

Now I stand with my family on the Backs and the brows
Of Almeidas, Garcias,
Garzas and Rodriguez
Who worked in the fields So we wouldn’t need to
And It won’t be for nothing
Now it’s up to me to keep up this American Dream
AMERICAN DREAM
NOW IT’S UP TO ME TO KEEP THIS AMERICAN DREAM
AMERICAN DREAM
YOU CANNOT EXCLUDE US
AMERICAN DREAM
YOUR DADDY’S ANCESTORS AN IMMIGRANT, SEE
YOU HAVE NO EXCUSES, WHATEVER IT BE
AMERICAN DREAM
NOW IT’S UP TO ME TO KEEP UP THIS AMERICAN DREAM
You cannot exclude us, we outran Cthulhu
to chase the American Dream.

Cthulhu

PROMOTIONAL SONG!!! ALL RIGHTS RESERVED!!!
Instrumental: "FADED" prod. AEBEATS
Mixed & Mastered by @areyoufeelingitnowmrkrebs
AEBEATS: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF1c-fm-ra4JFKbqtBrFjlg
Beat Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zk9V1ArwRFs&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR25JvxMTJsJwr8Tc-pKEJ0laW11lxWQ0x4KY8pQD6pxeLphmBI3kIQQrRM

Ishy Ishy Walla Walla (feat. Dopamine)

My 2-ply Man
LYRICS

Verse:
He works at CVS
Always looks a mess
And won’t stop staring at me
I never paid him no mind
He seems so unrefined
But now I see things differently

He gives me Lysol
And rubbing alcohol
And aerosol spray and wipes
He said, “I’ll keep you in the pink,
I got the C and the zinc”
I said, “Baby, you’re my type!”

Chorus:
He’s my 2-ply man
He gets me all the rolls he can
And since this plague began
I need a 2-ply man

Verse:
Now he shines my knobs
Does all the dirty jobs
Cleans my mailbox with some purifier
He’s my self-respecting, disinfecting...
He immolates the junk mail
On a pyre

Won’t get the co-oh-vid
Reading O-oh-vid
While we snuggle up and shelter in place
We’re watching Tony Fauci
Sitting on the couch-y
And I let him get to second base

Chorus:
He’s my 2-ply man
He gets me all the rolls he can
And since this plague began
I need a 2-ply man

Bridge:
Don’t know how I got so blessed
But I’ll just let my karma be
Cause when you’re under house arrest
It’s nice to have your very own pharmacy

Verse:
Anti-bacterial soap
Really helps me cope
He brings a funny little greeting card
And I can’t worry ‘bout Corona
With a case of Arizona
Sweet tea in the yard

He’s got the toilet paper
Calculator
Says we’re good till 2023
He brings me paper towels
So when I move my bowels
I think of him tenderly

Double Chorus:
He’s my 2-ply guy
He’s got an endless supply
He’s gonna help me not die
My 2-ply guy

My 2-ply man
I think of him on the can
Cause when the shit hits the fan
A girl needs a 2-ply man


by Claudia Handler, based on a comment by my friend Beki Brindle

My 2-ply Man

a very tender song I wrote and recorded while stuck in the house during quarantine! hope your ears enjoyyyy!

Cthulhu

TwoShoes

Recent comments

TwoShoes

permafriday

Related tracks