quiet. vulnerable.

thank you hisohkah
thank you shawn
thank you tyler

i'm thinkin' about where you are
i know that deep down you're not far
i close my eyes and drift off
and take my place among the stars
i see your face down the hall
and hear your voice in the walls
i wonder when i'm gonna fall
right back into your arms
i go to school and don't talk
i don't daydream, i sleepwalk
i pray that when i shut lights off
i'll see you again, keep 'em off
i'm sorry that i cut you off
i wanna hold onto you long
and fuck what they say, they all wrong
'cause i know you can't do me harm

how many ways to write a song
about who's always on your mind?
i know that i must give you up
but know that you'll always be mine
distinctive phrases form the lines
i stink at ways to hone a rhyme
i just don't wanna waste my time
but i just need you by my side
ride-or-die, can't decide
which side you're on, where to divide 
i've taken time to heal my mind
but memories will remind
i know that  you're not mine
but i can't let you go this time
so that's why i look to the night
to/you find my/your way back home in time

idnight ansomnia

midnight insomnia *soul version* (prod. hisohkah & birdie)

something pensive soon, take this for now
don't just nod your head, listen.

thank you @javossi
thank you shawn

||LYRICS||
my eyes are opened so wide
how many times can I open your mind?
how many ways can I write out a rhyme
just to make sense of all life that's divine
it's time to see what we are
peel back the layers and reveal the scars, uh
binary star, stronger together than we are apart
and what will it take for me to see
all the things that are in front of me?
give it my all, take it out of me
lyrical human anatomy
we live all our lives in pure agony and question our faith in mortality
the belief in hate is a travesty but standing by's much of a tragedy
tragedy, much of a tragedy
but standing by's much of a tragedy

time that I give you a piece of my mind
we are all in a line that leads us to demise
can no longer stand by, time we hold our hands high
we must reach for the sky and grab pieces of light
look at the sun and the moon
look at how everything else in tune
tell me you're comfortable alone in your room
nothing for you to do except plan out your doom
man, is that what you want?
is that not clear want it in a new font?
remember temptation exists just to taunt
give into it once, it'll come back to haunt

and I know
I know, I know
I know that you know, you know
and we know, we know

Lecture

Lecture PROD. JAVOSSI

as promised a couple days ago. glad to be back. i'm ok. i love you all.

thank you gisabella
thank you @Acero222
thank you birdie

photo courtesy of my good friend mila. it was taken just a few hours ago :)

mockingbird -  go , get away

mockingbird - go , get away (*SLOWED VERSION*) prod. by gisabella

i'll upload one more song in a few days and then i'll be gone for a bit. i'm not sure how long. i probably won't be able to stay away for long if i had to guess. thank you all. i love u

thank you gisabella
thank you birdie
and thank you to everyone who pushed me to release this. i was uncertain.

r e t u r n

r e t u r n - p r o d.  g i s a b e l l a

better late than never. departures are never easy, and this is no different. until i am back on the path for me, i will be absent, but my music will remain and hopefully say what i always have failed at trying to communicate with you all. when i return, things will be different, and nothing will be the same.

thank you xenshel
thank you shawn
thank you birdie

to fly like a bird and mock your concern

nothing truly matters, does it?

In the end

In the end - Produced by xenshel, DREXD, & Mockingbird

a newer, more serene sound.
enjoy.

thank u purple hex
thank u birdie


chorus
waves fall away (don't lose yourself into the sand)

verse
i wish i had a plan so i could be a better man
could be a better lover, could be a better friend
to be a better son, someone who never runs
who faces the tides and rise against the wrongs he'd ever done
maybe then i could be proud of who i had become
and not spend all my nights awake wishing i'd come undone
spend my days with who i love, maybe a little one
gaze out a window see the blend of pain i'd overrun
now that's the life i want, a future where none of my past would haunt
now all the laughs are gone, echoes of shadows within this song
a battle, a war for none, so many losses still no one won
one in the chamber, gun, brains to the sky never see the sun

https://soundcloud.com/tyler-cronan/shore-full-of-thoughts-slowed-version/s-Jh6uDliw8wh?si=8d49671b6fb44f96986b5522553f3380&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

shore.

shore-full of thoughts

shore-full of thoughts (PROD_PURPLE_HEX)

patterned and battered fingernails


I'm lost in the snow with nowhere to go
With no one to call and no place to call home
I look toward my toes, feel they've froze to the bone
I think that it's time I accept I'm alone 
I'm all out of dimes, 2% on my phone
With no one to call and no place to call home
I've lived with this feeling of dealing with demons
And dreaming of healing them all my own

I do not know who I am
Without you, I'm barely a man
Your distance I barely withstand
Missing us hand-in-hand

There comes a time in your life
When dealing with strife for so many nights
You've no strength to fight it or even to try
And you're just about ready to go get the knife
But something stops you in that moment, you see
The life that you want that now will never be
When all of your pain became something to lead
And suddenly then you wish no longer to leave
We all don't want life but still don't wish to cease
We yearn for the day that our minds are at ease
Mind's in the West while I reside in an East-
Haven, I'm sayin' you're where I wanna be

There's things that I wish I had said
And things that I no longer meant
If I could go back to the end
I'd choose you again and again
The night that you stood by that pole
With your family waiting at home
And you're standing right there in the cold
I'd go up to you and never let go
Don't think that I've told you this yet, but
To this day that's my biggest regret
Letting you leave as the sun start to set
A memory I would never forget
Remember the days on that cliff?
Pretending that I had tourettes?
Debating if the Earth was flat?
I'd give up all to have all that back
You couldn't look me in my eyes
You were scared of what you might find
Realization that you were mine
The frustration, never right time
I think of you more than I imply
But just know you're my favorite reminder
Here I am as I freeze in the night
As I realize you'll never be mine

love is obsession. (Hand in hand)

sea salt.

sea salt ( lost in the sea )

thank you yg
thank you shawn
thank you rust

[Verse 1]
You ever think hard about your dreams?
You ever think about what it all really means?
Maybe on the street, slingin' coke
One in the head, what a way to go
Shit, I'm in my head and I need to go
No, I need to grow, so I'll keep this slow, uh
Now peep the flow, what you need to know
Is that people don't want to see you glow
So, I feed the flame, let the people change
And when I'm gone, y'all will know the name, uh
That Birdie came, he saw and conquered
All that appeared in his flight path were squandered
And even those in his flock said he's bonkers
But like one once said "what's real will prosper"

[Verse 2]
Now with this microphone, I'm honored
As a teen he was weird and awkward
Soon a King in this world he'll conquer
All that pain he would tend to harbor
Turns to ink in the pen he charters
Spread the word and becomes a martyr
This world will burn for its damned disorder
Those who think there's still time, it's over
I told you

[Bridge]
You gon' tell me how to live? Huh?
You gon' head and tell me how to make cents?
You don't even love where you at
So how can you claim you know this from that?

[Chorus]
I've been to Hell and back
And, uh, come a long way from writin' raps
And I, shit I know it's motivation I lack
But I'm havin' trouble splittin' doubts from facts

SQUANDERED.

a prophet and a baphomet met inside the mind of a man, this is what was said

dodgin' bullets while i'm pullin' every other fuckin' rank
"how you do it?" i don't know get the fuck out my fuckin' way

woke up this morning like "who wanna test me?" like who wanna test
i'm markin' my paper with ink in the pen to replace all the lead emptied into your head
bitch, i am the best, yeah, i am a vet
keep bitchin' and snarkin', my dawgs get to barkin', we'll teach you some manners and make you our pet (you son of a bitch)

man, i'm tired today, you step out of place and then you'll go away
thinkin' i'm jokin', you hear what i say?
if life was a game, it'd be one i don't play
see we'll leave you alone, you'll believe you're okay
till we kick in the door and then we start to spray
and it's only the fourth at the start of the day
and in only one verse i was able to say
all the pain that i've felt that i've failed to convey

fuck wit me !

dodgin bullets snippet

Love will tear us apart
I said love will tear us apart
I said love will tear us apart
Of you

Uh, get me a drink
How many thoughts are there for me to think?
Look at all of these years, they've pushed me to the brink
'Cause my mind is my anchor, and it's starting to sink
And I'm trying to swim, but I'm caught in the current
If you thought I've tapped out, then I guess that you're in
Ain't no way that this life that I live, I ain't earn it
If you think there's a reason, well, then, shit, I ain't heard it
All of this pain in my brain I been herdin'
Been keepin' it quiet, makin' sure it goes unheard and
There are days when I just wanna leave this damn world and call it all quits
And leavin' you here hurtin'
And I take solace in the fact I'm alone
It allows me to think, it puts me in my zone
Losin' the people that I once called my own
I long for the cold, bury me in the snow

Tired of seeing same shit on my phone
Tired of doing what I've always been told
Tired of always being left to my own
Gotta get away, and I gotta go home

LOVEDE2.MP3 (LOVE.)

As I recall
I was looking for reasons I shouldn't be ending it all
Was hoping one day my back wouldn't be up this wall
But my feelings and thoughts kept pushing me, hopin' I'd fall
Both the knives in my back and the bullets in my heart
Was thinking that heaven's a place that I wouldn't see
Was livin' for you, was no need to be livin' for me
Was tryin' to help, so why's everyone livid at me?
I fucked up, but I just have some questions

Are you searching for a place to call your own?
Do you think that you're better off alone?
The stars above and maggots in my bones
I'm cold and scared, I want to go home

LIFEAF1.MP3 (Life after)

It's only you and I
So why do I deny?
You're wit' me by my side
You've picked me all your life
When will I realize
Is Cupid stupid shootin' who's it choosin' to decide?
It's always do-or-die, let's choose to live our lives
Abuse it, lose it, fools just losin' love to Father Time
To lie should be a crime when we're committed to compromise
Our feelings are fitted to synchronize
Never to be at separate times
Appealin' to each and every rhyme
The unbelievers could never besiege us
Facetious remarks are simply egregious
Leeches, just creatures with limited features
Fuck all that 'cuz I know you're gonna be here
Hopin' you'll never be leavin'
If I'm with you I'm believin'

And all I wanna do's run to you for a place to stay
And we won't ever have to pray
In hopes to make it through the day
Know there's always another way
Different words for us to say
But I still don't know how to feel
My biggest fear is this ain't real

IDKHOW1.MP3 (idkhowtofeel)

november 12th, 2022.
can't remember who produced this, unfortunately.
shawn added the vocal effects to my chorus.
thank you.
you will not break me.

acero
a lot of pain i gotta take
so much drama up in my way
i'm not sane, been losing my ways
i've felt this way since the fifth grade
so much toxins up on my tray
i get so high, you can't hear what i say
i wanna OD, i can't feel a face
i sip the lean with the weed they laced
R.I.P. to the ones above, my world is a death race for love
away from the demons i run
yeah, put it to my head, yeah, the loaded gun
i get slumped, i get fucked up when i fuck up my own life
If i told you i wanna die, would you cry?
It'll be alright 'cause

mockingbird
i'll never fall or break
i'll never fall or break
baby, there's no way
baby, there's no way
i'll never fall or break (hey)
i'll never fall or break (no way)
baby, there's no way (yeah)
baby, there's no way

never give up on faith, no
never forget that there's a way out
never give up on faith, no
always keep fighting, there's a way out

SIKE

SIKE (with Acxrø 8 AL0N€)

little nicotine
hey, fuck everyone
i got a "war" in my war-path
ain't part gathering all my wrath
just to stop the hate
that the end is near
in my mind, ain't feeling great
we're just a communism fish bait
while the bigger fish is for a dinner date
i been smoke this weed since i was eight
by these fuckboys, think the shit like Andrew Tate (fuck 'em)
ain't up in state that is money
and this grind is always on his mind
a line, like Harry Styles with the sign of the times
but on a serious note
just hang yourself up a rope while people pop pills
and smoking dope, can't cope
a war with addiction & depression
obsession with in the session, ay 
that we just can't be along (for fuck sakes)
even this song w-won't make people think from right or wrong
so Ukraine, Iraq & in the school shootings
hate a life but the life could be long
(so make sure to clean your bong)
(ladies, don't forget to clean your thongs)

mockingbird
don't forget these next few things that i'm about to paint out
'cause i've forgotten what it's like for me to have a way out
i write & type & spit what i writ in hopes that i can break out
but slip, oh shit, time wasted again, i guess i'm in disarray now
my mind's begun to decay now
month's time have to hollow grave out
one time for those who don't make it out
alive, they are not fables
our addictions always enabled
our convictions' come from betrayals
my prediction of what's to play out
extinction in a couple of days now

what is war?
war is when you go out to the street (what is war?)
war is when you're looking to defeat (what is war?)
war is when you're tired of the need to speak to those around you
shouting while they never hear a peep

WAR (with Little Nicotine)

love u brother

https://on.soundcloud.com/f9VaHtZho6WsA9WCjq

[Intro: DREXD]
On me
Yeah, me
Man, these bitches they be on me
Man, these bitches they be on me
Stick, yah mean (On me)
Come and put your pussy on me

[Chorus: DREXD]
When I pull up wit' a stick, yah mean
When I pull up wit' a blick, yah mean
When I pull up wit' a stick, yah mean
When I pull up in a Rari, y'all see

[Verse: Mockingbird]
You wonder what's on my mind
I'm wonderin' 'bout the time
I'm wanderin' in my mind
I'm ponderin' if it's the time
To call it quits, end all this shit
Balled are my fists as I enter the mist
Gone are the days all I can's reminisce
Was long nights on the phone, now I fear to hear dial tone
And now I think I've come to know that I just cannot die alone
Do you know what you do to me?
Truthfully I am so moved to be
Callin' you, loosen you up till you fall asleep
Countin' the days till you're jumpin' up onto me
Know that till then that you're truly not far from me
If I lose you, then I'm losin' a part of me
Always got you in my heart, so you part of me
If you conflicted, I hope you can pardon me
You know I know there's no doubt, so don't start with me
Ironically it's like the light is so hard to see
But with you in my life I'm the man, tried so hard to be
Let's leave the bullshit behind, hop in the car with me
End of the verse but I swear this the start of me

Mockingbird

Pinned to spotlight

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