The Catholic concept of a vocation is a calling from God to live a life that allows you to grow in holiness and love to the fullest. Many are called to love their spouses and families through marriage. Some are called to devote their lives to serving God’s people as priests. The process of determining which vocation God may be calling you towards is referred to as discernment, and often involves a lot of prayer, introspection, and making a conscious effort to listen for Jesus's voice in your life.

When it comes to my own vocation, or where I feel Jesus is calling me, I often tell people that I feel pulled in multiple directions. At the moment, my plan is to enter a seminary next semester to continue discerning whether I feel called to the priesthood, a call that I’ve definitely felt in the past and genuinely want to explore in a deeper way. At the same time, part of me also really feels like the married life may be the best way for me to love God by loving and serving a family of my own.

I know that God has a plan for my life that’s better than anything else, and every day I pray for the grace to be able to trust in that plan. But sometimes I let all the uncertainty get to me, and I give myself over to despair and anxiety over not knowing what the future holds. Sometimes I feel like I’m stuck waiting for something to happen, alone and powerless to do anything to move things along. I become impatient, feeling like I just want to know how things turn out and get it all over with, which often causes me to overlook all of the blessings and beautiful things in my life. For years, I often turned to worldly, unhealthy, and dangerous things to make me feel better, to forget about it all for a bit. But, unsurprisingly, I always ended up unfulfilled, worse off than when I started.

By the grace of God, I’ve started to confront these worries instead of trying to run from them. I recognize my weakness, my doubts, my impatience, and I offer them all up to Jesus, who lives within me and makes me stronger than anything the devil uses to try to shake me. It’s not always easy, but when I start to get lost in despair and anxiety, I think about the blessings God has given me and the goodness of His promises, and the realization of His unyielding love for me is more than enough to bring me peace. I’ve realized that uncertainty is part of what makes each day beautiful, and I’m starting to experience joy and wonder in watching His plans play out. I’m making a conscious effort to focus first and foremost on loving God and loving others, to live every day intentionally, and to enjoy the ride!

With all of these things in mind, I wrote this song as a promise to my future spouse, if marriage is part of God’s plan for me. The lyrics can also very intentionally be seen as sung from me to Jesus, awaiting the day that I can finally experience the fullness of His unfathomable love for me.

5W4H

Please keep me in your prayers. You’re in mine.

Jesus, I trust in You.

Tyler Acosta

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