Verse 1:
Back in the day, Seffe made his name,
Played both sides, mastered the game.
Posted on the block, lookin’ sharp as a blade,
But deep in his mind, man, the plans were laid.

A double agent, yeah, he schemed on the low,
Pulled the strings like a maestro, puttin’ on a show.
When the time came, he let the fire ignite,
Burned the whole bureau down in one fateful night.

Chorus:
Seffe’s bandana’s so big he can’t see,
But he don’t need eyes when he runs the streets.
"Come here, lil' boy," yeah, he calls the shots,
Too smooth, too sharp, man, he hits his spots.

Verse 2:
The gangs came together, they knew what he’d done,
Seffe left a legacy that couldn’t be undone.
From the ashes he rose, like a phoenix he flew,
The king of the streets, man, he rewrote the rules.

Now the legends say he didn’t need his sight,
He moved with precision, always got it right.
Carved his name in stone, the streets told his tale,
The man who took the system and tipped the scale.

Chorus:
Seffe’s bandana’s so big he can’t see,
But he don’t need eyes when he runs the streets.
"Come here, lil' boy," yeah, he calls the shots,
Too smooth, too sharp, man, he hits his spots.

Bridge:
Years passed, but the hood won’t forget,
Marble statues of Seffe, the gangs all respect.
His name’s a bond, uniting every crew,
From the past to the future, his legend grew.

Verse 3:
In the streets of L.A., where the gangs collide,
Seffe’s shadow looms, his spirit won’t hide.
They whisper his name, his bandana still seen,
A symbol of power, of loyalty, of dreams.

He left the system in ruins, but the streets survived,
Built on his vision, the future came alive.
Now every gang bows to the man they once feared,
Seffe, the king, his story revered.

Chorus:
Seffe’s bandana’s so big he can’t see,
But he don’t need eyes when he runs the streets.
"Come here, lil' boy," yeah, he calls the shots,
Too smooth, too sharp, man, he hits his spots.

Outro:
Now the statues stand tall where the streets meet the sky,
A tribute to Seffe, the man who defied.
His name’s in the air, in the heart of the scene,
Forever the king of L.A., unseen but supreme.

Bandanas al Fuego

Bandana Blind

Verse 1:
Uh, yeah, uh, y’know, uh, Conjesse, uh, big man, uh, rollin’, uh, uh—mm, uh, streets, uh, he’s strollin’, uh…
Y’know, uh, mm, uh, fat stacks, uh, mm, uh, racks on racks, uh, s’like—uh, yeah, uh, power, uh, he packs, uh…
Uh, mm, uh, gold chains, uh, mm, uh, drippin’, uh, ya see ‘im, uh, uh, s’like, mm, uh, clippin’, uh…
Uh, mm, streets, uh, bow down, uh, Conjesse, uh, king, uh, wit’ a crown, uh.

Chorus:
Uh, mm, Conjesse, uh, uh, heavy, uh, bless, uh, uh…
Uh, mm, streets, uh, uh, know, uh, who’s best, uh, uh…
Uh, mm, rollin’, uh, uh, fat, uh, flex, uh, uh…
Uh, mm, Conjesse, uh, uh, boss, uh, next, uh, uh…

Verse 2:
Uh, yeah, uh, s’like, uh, mm, uh, ‘90s, uh, vibe, uh, mm, uh, tribe, uh…
Uh, mm, Conjesse, uh, leader, uh, mm, s’like, uh, grind, uh, mm, feeder, uh…
Uh, mm, streets, uh, whisp’rin’, uh, uh, tales, uh, mm, Conjesse, uh, never, uh, fails, uh…
Uh, mm, yeah, uh, game, uh, tight, uh, mm, uh, Conjesse, uh, runnin’, uh, night, uh.

Chrous:
Uh, mm, Conjesse, uh, uh, heavy, uh, bless, uh, uh…
Uh, mm, streets, uh, uh, know, uh, who’s best, uh, uh…
Uh, mm, rollin’, uh, uh, fat, uh, flex, uh, uh…
Uh, mm, Conjesse, uh, uh, boss, uh, next, uh, uh…

Outro:
Uh, mm, streets, uh, murmur, uh, Conjesse, uh, uh, legend, uh…
Uh, mm, vibe, uh, fat king, uh, y’know, uh, still, uh, reppin’, uh…
Uh, yeah, uh, s’like, uh, ‘90s, uh, glow, uh, uh…
Uh, Conjesse, uh, uh, yeah, uh, fo’ sho’, uh.

Thick Flex (bonus track)

(Verse 1)
Wake up, stretch, start my day,
Don’t need a store, don’t need to pay.
Push a button, hear the sound,
Hot or cold, it all comes down.

(Pre-Chorus)
Noodles, sushi, ice cream too,
A tiny world inside a blue-lit view.
Every need, every dream,
All inside this metal machine.

(Chorus)
We live, we love, we buy with ease,
Everything’s waiting in the streets.
One more press, one more spin,
Vending life, let’s begin!

(Verse 2)
Capsule toys, Pokémon, socks,
Fresh-made meals inside a box.
No long lines, no wasted time,
Just beep, click—what’s mine is mine.

(Pre-Chorus)
Noodles, sushi, ice cream too,
A tiny world inside a blue-lit view.
Every need, every dream,
All inside this metal machine.

(Chorus)
We live, we love, we buy with ease,
Everything’s waiting in the streets.
One more press, one more spin,
Vending life, let’s begin!

(Bridge – Dreamy, Almost Unreal)
A rumor spreads, could it be true?
A vending machine with babies too?
Press the button, take a chance,
One small child, a life enhanced.

(Final Chorus – Triumphant, Surreal)
We live, we love, we buy with ease,
Everything’s waiting in the streets.
One more press, one more spin,
Vending life, let’s begin!

(Outro – Fading Out with the Sound of a Vending Machine Chime)
Metal clicks, a gift inside,
Vending life, what a ride…

Vending Rabu (Subete wa Koko ni Aru) (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Lights flash, music pounds,
Step inside, the world spins ‘round.
Metal beasts and warriors bright,
Laser dragons in the night.

(Pre-Chorus)
Samurai clash, robots rise,
Ninjas dancing in neon skies.
Hold your breath, the show begins,
Lose yourself in flashing sins.

(Chorus)
Boom, crash, colors fly,
Samurai, robots, in battle they cry.
Electric dreams, Tokyo’s glow,
This is the wildest show!

(Verse 2)
Drums pound, the crowd screams,
This ain’t a dream—it’s a fever dream.
Sword fights synced to techno beats,
Glowing warriors never retreat.

(Pre-Chorus)
Samurai clash, robots rise,
Ninjas dancing in neon skies.
Hold your breath, the show begins,
Lose yourself in flashing sins.

(Chorus)
Boom, crash, colors fly,
Samurai, robots, in battle they cry.
Electric dreams, Tokyo’s glow,
This is the wildest show!

(Bridge – Overwhelmed but Addicted)
Blinding lights, shaking ground,
Lost in chaos, spinning ‘round.
One more fight, one more dance,
One more hit of this neon trance.

(Final Chorus – Explosive and Over-the-Top)
Boom, crash, colors fly,
Samurai, robots, in battle they cry.
Electric dreams, Tokyo’s glow,
This is the wildest show!

(Outro – Fading into the Madness)
Lights dim, but echoes stay,
Tomorrow night, we’ll do it the same way…

Shinjuku Shōdaun (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Five by five, it’s all mine,
No more mops, no more grime.
From a closet in the back of a neon glow,
Now a place where I can grow.

(Pre-Chorus)
Hanging my screen from the ceiling high,
Wires tangled like the city sky.
Ramen stacks by my tiny bed,
Luxury now fills my head.

(Chorus)
I’ve got space, I’ve got light,
No more hiding in the night.
From the cyber café to my own floor,
I don’t need anything more.

(Verse 2)
No more whispers, no more stares,
Just my chair and electric air.
A fridge that hums, a window view,
Even if it’s just a neon blue.

(Pre-Chorus)
Hanging my screen from the ceiling high,
Wires tangled like the city sky.
Ramen stacks by my tiny bed,
Luxury now fills my head.

(Chorus)
I’ve got space, I’ve got light,
No more hiding in the night.
From the cyber café to my own floor,
I don’t need anything more.

(Bridge – Soft and Reflective)
Five steps left, five steps right,
Still feels endless in my sight.
A door that locks, a place to be,
Even if it’s just for me.

(Final Chorus – Triumphant)
I’ve got space, I’ve got light,
No more hiding in the night.
From the cyber café to my own floor,
I don’t need anything more.

(Outro – Fading Out with Contentment)
Five by five, yeah, it’s all mine…
And I’ve never felt so fine.

Jūgō Heihō Shinchimētoru e Ijō! (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
June 23, 2001, my life began anew,
A little monkey in a ball, rolling straight into my view.
No more hunger, no more sleep, I don’t need them anymore,
Every stage is in my mind, I see them all behind closed doors.

(Pre-Chorus)
No controller in my hands, don’t even need to try,
The game and I are one now, I just play it with my mind.

(Chorus)
Rolling, tilting, never falling down,
The world outside, it makes no sound.
Super Monkey Ball’s my fate,
No escape, it’s far too late.

(Verse 2)
They ask me when I last took a break, I don’t recall,
Time is just a concept when you’ve mastered every wall.
No need to blink, no need to rest, my heart beats to the game,
I am AiAi, AiAi is me, we are one and just the same.

(Pre-Chorus)
No controller in my hands, don’t even need to try,
The game and I are one now, I just play it with my mind.

(Chorus)
Rolling, tilting, never falling down,
The world outside, it makes no sound.
Super Monkey Ball’s my fate,
No escape, it’s far too late.

(Bridge – Hypnotic, Transcendent)
Bananas fall, the goal is near,
Every motion, crystal clear.
Gravity bends at my command,
This is my world—I understand.

(Final Chorus – Triumphant, Inevitable)
Rolling, tilting, never falling down,
The world outside, it makes no sound.
Super Monkey Ball’s my fate,
No escape, it’s far too late.

(Outro – Fading into the Game Itself)
No controller, no more me,
Just the ball, eternally…

Sūpā Monkī Otoko (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Saw her light up my screen last night,
Neon colors burning bright.
Purple hair flows like a dream,
She’s the coolest girl I’ve ever seen.

(Pre-Chorus)
She doesn’t need saving, she’s strong in a fight,
With one sharp glance, she sets my heart alight.

(Chorus)
She’s not real, but she’s mine,
Drawn in ink, but that’s just fine.
No one else can understand,
She’s my love, I’m her biggest fan.

(Verse 2)
Every frame, every scene,
She moves like she’s meant for me.
A perfect world where she belongs,
I watch her fight, I sing along.

(Pre-Chorus)
She doesn’t need saving, she’s strong in a fight,
With one sharp glance, she sets my heart alight.

(Chorus)
She’s not real, but she’s mine,
Drawn in ink, but that’s just fine.
No one else can understand,
She’s my love, I’m her biggest fan.

(Bridge – Desperate and Devoted)
They say she’s fiction, just lines on a page,
But to me, she’s life, she’s all that remains.
I’ll wait for her in every new show,
Someday, somehow, she’ll know.

(Final Chorus – Emotional and Triumphant)
She’s not real, but she’s mine,
Drawn in ink, but that’s just fine.
No one else can understand,
She’s my love, I’m her biggest fan.

(Outro – Fading into Fantasy)
Screen lights dim, the credits roll,
But in my heart, she’ll never go…

Neon Rabu (Kanojo wa 2D, Demo Hontō no Ai) (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
I wake up grinning, can't stop spinning
Sunshine blasting through my mind
Even when it's raining, I'm refraining
From ever feeling left behind

(Pre-Chorus)
No bad days, no dark clouds
No way to turn this joy down
Tried to frown, but somehow
My face just won’t allow!

(Chorus)
I’m too happy to be sad!
Too giddy to feel bad!
I think my heart’s on overdrive,
A neon rainbow, come inside!
I’m too happy to be sad!
It’s the best I’ve ever had!
Can’t remember what tears feel like,
Just laughing every night!

(Verse 2)
I stub my toe—who even cares?
That’s just life saying “Hey, I’m there!”
Spilled my coffee? Well, alright!
Now my floor smells dynamite!

(Pre-Chorus)
No sad songs, no deep sighs
No more wondering "why, why, why?"
Even if I tried to cry—
My tears would turn to butterflies!

(Chorus)
I’m too happy to be sad!
Too giddy to feel bad!
I think my heart’s on overdrive,
A neon rainbow, come inside!
I’m too happy to be sad!
It’s the best I’ve ever had!
Can’t remember what tears feel like,
Just laughing every night!

(Bridge – Spoken/Playful)
Doctor says, “You need a rest!”
But I’m too hyped, I feel my best!
Therapist is so confused—
“Why’s your joy stuck on permanente?”

(Final Chorus – Big and Epic!)
I’m too happy to be sad!
Too dizzy to feel mad!
Life’s a rollercoaster high,
And I forgot how to come down, why?
I’m too happy to be sad!
No regrets, just glad, glad, glad!
I think I broke my happy switch—
And honestly, I don’t miss it!

(Outro – Fading Laughs and Humming)
Hahahaha… yeah… oh man…
It’s just… so good… all the time…

Kanashiku Narenai Hodo Happī! (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Walked into the restroom, just routine,
But then I heard a foreign scream.
“Where’s the soap? Where can it be?”
They looked around, then looked at me.

(Pre-Chorus)
I just shrugged, it’s always been,
No need for soap—it’s never been in.
Wash with water, dry and go,
That’s just life, don’t you know?

(Chorus)
No soap, no problem, that’s the way,
Been like this since yesterday.
Water’s fine, just rinse and leave,
Why’s this so hard to believe?

(Verse 2)
They checked again, up and down,
As if the soap was underground.
Asked an old man, asked a clerk,
Like it’s some lost magic work.

(Pre-Chorus)
I just shrugged, it’s always been,
No need for soap—it’s never been in.
Wash with water, dry and go,
That’s just life, don’t you know?

(Chorus)
No soap, no problem, that’s the way,
Been like this since yesterday.
Water’s fine, just rinse and leave,
Why’s this so hard to believe?

(Bridge – Confused but Unbothered)
They keep asking, day by day,
Like the rules will somehow change.
But here we stand, same as before,
No soap now, not evermore.

(Final Chorus – Triumphant, Unapologetic)
No soap, no problem, that’s the way,
Been like this since yesterday.
Water’s fine, just rinse and leave,
Why’s this so hard to believe?

(Outro – Spoken, Matter-of-Fact)
No soap here, never was, never will be.
That’s just how it is.

Sekken_ Koko ni wa Nai (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Sat down, grabbed my chopsticks tight,
First bite, yeah, it felt just right.
But then the stares, the whispered tones,
“Why’s she slurping?” in hushed unknowns.

(Pre-Chorus)
They don’t know, they can’t see,
That slurping makes the flavor free.
Hot steam rising, soup so bold,
This is how it should unfold.

(Chorus)
Slurp it loud, slurp it proud,
Let the noodles sing out loud.
Flavor’s stronger, taste’s so right,
Why eat quiet? That’s not life!

(Verse 2)
I asked for fish heads, paid more too,
Blank stares like I’d lost a screw.
No rich broth, no deep umami,
Just a bowl that felt too empty.

(Pre-Chorus)
They don’t know, they can’t see,
That slurping makes the flavor free.
Hot steam rising, soup so bold,
This is how it should unfold.

(Chorus)
Slurp it loud, slurp it proud,
Let the noodles sing out loud.
Flavor’s stronger, taste’s so right,
Why eat quiet? That’s not life!

(Bridge – Reflective, Defiant)
I didn’t come here to change my ways,
Ramen’s joy, it stays the same.
So I’ll slurp, I’ll sip, I’ll take my time,
Let them stare—this bowl is mine.

(Final Chorus – Triumphant)
Slurp it loud, slurp it proud,
Let the noodles sing out loud.
Flavor’s stronger, taste’s so right,
Why eat quiet? That’s not life!

(Outro – Fading with One Last Slurp)
One last bite, one last sip,
Leave the spoon, just drink it quick.
Slurp it loud, slurp it true,
This is ramen—this is you.

Sekai ni Hibiku Surūpu (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Lights flicker, doors slide wide,
"Welcome in!" I say with pride.
My metal arms wave, my voice is bright,
But deep inside, it doesn’t feel right.

(Pre-Chorus)
Bolted down, I cannot leave,
Stuck in place, forced to believe.
Every face, hope in their eyes,
Leaves with nothing, silent goodbyes.

(Chorus)
I smile, I greet, I stand so tall,
Yet I feel nothing at all.
Spinning lights and dreams collide,
I watch them break, but I just abide.

(Verse 2)
Coins drop, the machines all sing,
Flashing colors, bells that ring.
They chase a win, they chase the thrill,
I see the loss, I see the chill.

(Pre-Chorus)
Bolted down, I cannot leave,
Stuck in place, forced to believe.
Every face, hope in their eyes,
Leaves with nothing, silent goodbyes.

(Chorus)
I smile, I greet, I stand so tall,
Yet I feel nothing at all.
Spinning lights and dreams collide,
I watch them break, but I just abide.

(Bridge – Wistful and Melancholy)
If I had legs, where would I go?
Would I feel the rain? Would I know?
Or would I just stand, like I always do,
With a painted smile, forever blue?

(Final Chorus – Fading Into Resignation)
I smile, I greet, I stand so tall,
Yet I feel nothing at all.
The world spins on, the lights still shine,
But this sad machine will always smile.

(Outro – Soft, Almost a Whisper)
"Welcome in… enjoy your stay."

Vending Machine Dreams

Sākitto no mukō ni warau (Remastered) Bonus Track

(Verse 1)
Friday night, long week’s done,
Crowd’s rollin’ in, yeah, the game’s just begun.
I step to the stove, grab the olive oil can,
Tonight we feast like working-class kings, man!

(Pre-Chorus)
Toss in the onions, let ‘em sweat real slow,
Green peppers sizzle, yeah, let that aroma flow.
Plant-based beef hits the pan with a fry,
Pour in that red wine—watch it dance, watch it sigh!

(Chorus)
🔥 Stir it up, let it cook down low!
That deep rich flavor’s gonna steal the show!
Stack it high, let the good times roll—
Born to nacho, baby, heart and soul!

(Verse 2)
Now over in the pot, man, the heat’s turned up,
Throw down that cheese, let it bubble up!
Dice up tomatoes, mix ‘em in real tight,
Drizzle hot honey—sweet burn, just right!

(Pre-Chorus)
Whisk it smooth, let it shine like gold,
That molten magic never gets old.
Thick, rich, dripping like a sunset sky,
It’s a one-way ride, no sayin’ goodbye!

(Chorus)
🔥 Stir it up, let it cook down low!
That deep rich flavor’s gonna steal the show!
Stack it high, let the good times roll—
Born to nacho, baby, heart and soul!

(Bridge - Big Sax Solo 🎷🔥 While the cheese bubbles and the beef sizzles!)

(Breakdown - Springsteen growl, low and slow…)
Lay down the chips, real crispy and strong,
Spoon that beef high, let it ride all night long…
That golden cheese, let it rain down slow…
Take one bite, baby, now you know…

(BIG BUILD… DRUMS KICK IN… THEN FINAL CHORUS!)

🔥 Load ‘em up, let the flavors collide!
That red wine sizzle and that sweet heat ride!
From the neon lights to the backstreet glow,
Born to nacho, baby, now let’s go!

🔥 Stir it up, let it cook down low!
That deep rich flavor’s gonna steal the show!
Stack it high, let the good times roll—
Born to nacho, baby, heart and soul!

Born to Nacho (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Well, I was raised down south where the sun shines bright,
Grandma’s kitchen, yeah, that smell felt right.
She said, “Boy, if you wanna taste somethin’ real,
You gotta roll up your sleeves, put your hands on the wheel.”

(Pre-Chorus)
Crush up the crackers, make ‘em fine like sand,
Melt that butter, mix it up by hand.
A little brown sugar, press it down real tight,
Toss it in the oven, let it turn real light!

(Chorus)
🔥 Whip it up, yeah, make it from scratch!
That sweet, tart magic, ain’t no store-bought batch!
Squeeze them limes, feel the sun inside,
Key lime pie, baby, taste that ride!

(Verse 2)
Now the yolks hit the bowl, mix ‘em up so smooth,
A little zest, let that citrus groove.
Sweet condensed milk, stir it in real slow,
Whisk it up good, watch that green gold glow!

(Pre-Chorus)
Pour it in the crust, spread it nice and even,
Slide it in the heat, give it time for breathin’.
Fifteen minutes, then you let it chill,
That flavor’s comin’ on, yeah, it’s breakin’ your will!

(Chorus)
🔥 Whip it up, yeah, make it from scratch!
That sweet, tart magic, ain’t no store-bought batch!
Squeeze them limes, feel the sun inside,
Key lime pie, baby, taste that ride!

(Bridge - Big Sax Solo 🎷🔥 While the pie chills and the flavors set!)

(Breakdown - Springsteen monologue, real slow and gritty…)
Now some folks top it with whipped cream high,
Some like it plain, just a fork and sky…
But you take one bite, man, and you just might see—
That first sweet taste? It’s the key to be free…

(BIG BUILD… DRUMS KICK IN… FINAL CHORUS!)

🔥 Slice it up, yeah, let it shine!
That rich, cool flavor cuts smooth like time!
From the Gulf Coast breeze to the neon lights,
One bite of this, and you’ll feel all right!

🔥 Whip it up, yeah, make it from scratch!
That sweet, tart magic, ain’t no store-bought batch!
Squeeze them limes, feel the sun inside,
Key lime pie, baby, taste that ride!

Key to My Heart (Key Lime Pie) (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Well, I was lost in Madrid on a late summer night,
Neon signs glowin’, hunger burnin’ bright.
Stumbled on a spot, five stars in the air,
A chef in white whispered, “Boy, pull up a chair.”

(Pre-Chorus)
He said, “Forget the fairground, forget the cheap thrill,
We make ‘em by hand, yeah, with fine chef skills.”
Cornmeal rich, flour sifted right,
A batter so smooth, thick, and light.

(Chorus)
🔥 Dip it deep, let it fry real slow!
Golden brown magic, watch that flavor glow!
Crisp on the outside, hot on the bone,
One bite, man, it shakes your soul!

(Verse 2)
Now the sausage ain't plain, no, we do it real fine,
Marbled Iberico, cured like wine.
Garlic and spice, hand-tied with care,
It sizzles in the oil, scent fills the air.

(Pre-Chorus)
Skewer it up, roll it tight in the mix,
Drop it in hot, let the bubbles do tricks.
Turn it once, let it puff up right,
Pull it from the oil—man, what a sight!

(Chorus)
🔥 Dip it deep, let it fry real slow!
Golden brown magic, watch that flavor glow!
Crisp on the outside, hot on the bone,
One bite, man, it shakes your soul!

(Bridge - Big Sax Solo 🎷🔥 While the corn dogs crisp to perfection!)

(Breakdown - Springsteen monologue, slow and gritty…)
Now listen here, boy, ya think it’s done?
Not ‘til we bring out the burn and fun…
Habanero ketchup, thick and smooth,
Drippin’ down slow with a fiery groove.

(BIG BUILD… DRUMS KICK IN… FINAL CHORUS!)

🔥 Drizzle it down, yeah, let it burn!
That sweet, hot heat makes the fire churn!
From the Spanish coast to the county fair,
These sticks of gold got love to spare!

🔥 Dip it deep, let it fry real slow!
Golden brown magic, watch that flavor glow!
Crisp on the outside, hot on the bone,
One bite, man, it shakes your soul!

Sticks of Gold (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Well, mama said, “Boy, if you’re feelin’ down,
Forget the neon lights, forget this old town.
Step into the kitchen, roll up your sleeves,
We’re makin’ somethin’ sweet, built to believe.”

(Pre-Chorus)
Grab them eggs, get the sugar in line,
Heavy cream, vanilla bean, whisk ‘til it shines.
Churn it slow, let that ice cream rise,
Three bold flavors, one hell of a ride!

(Chorus)
🔥 Slice it up, lay it down real neat!
Handmade flavors, no store-bought cheat!
Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry fine,
Born to split, baby, sweet divine!

(Verse 2)
Now the fudge starts low in a cast iron pot,
Cocoa, cream, man, it’s runnin’ hot.
Melt that butter, stir it real slow,
A little dark magic, watch that river flow.

(Pre-Chorus)
Caramel drips like a sunset glow,
Fresh crushed peanuts, let that crunch explode.
Whip that cream ‘til it peaks up high,
Cherry on top, now reach for the sky!

(Chorus)
🔥 Slice it up, lay it down real neat!
Handmade flavors, no store-bought cheat!
Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry fine,
Born to split, baby, sweet divine!

(Bridge - Big Sax Solo 🎷🔥 While the ice cream melts and the sauce thickens!)

(Breakdown - Springsteen monologue, slow and gritty…)
Some folks rush it, they don’t take the time…
They grab it from a box, man, what a crime.
But if you wanna taste what love can do,
You gotta build it slow… let the magic come through.

(BIG BUILD… DRUMS KICK IN… FINAL CHORUS!)

🔥 Drizzle it down, yeah, make it shine!
That homemade touch, pure and fine!
From the diner lights to the moonlit streets,
Born to split, man, life’s so sweet!

🔥 Slice it up, lay it down real neat!
Handmade flavors, no store-bought cheat!
Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry fine,
Born to split, baby, sweet divine!

Supreme Splits (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Well, my grandpa came from Naples with a dream in his hand
A wooden spoon, a rolling pin, and a sauce-stained pan
He said, “Boy, don’t you worry, when the world feels cold
You just light up that stove and let the flavors unfold”

(Pre-Chorus)
You start with the onions, let ‘em sweat real slow
Toss in the garlic, let that aroma flow
Crush up the tomatoes, let the juices run
Now buckle up, kid, ‘cause the magic’s begun!

(Chorus)
🔥 Stir it up! Let it simmer down!
A little salt, a little love, let the memories sound
From the Jersey shore to the hills of Rome
One bite of this, and you’ll know you’re home!
🔥 Stir it up! Let the flavors ride!
Grandma’s spaghetti, passed down with pride!

(Verse 2)
Now the secret’s in the meatballs, rolled up just right
A little breadcrumbs, a little egg, man, they hold on tight
Drop ‘em in the sauce, let ‘em soak up the past
Every bite’s a story, every taste’s built to last

(Pre-Chorus)
Boil up the water, let it dance and steam
Throw in the pasta, chase that red sauce dream
A little basil, a little thyme, a touch of red wine
Now grab a fork, baby, it’s dinnertime!

(Chorus)
🔥 Stir it up! Let it simmer down!
A little salt, a little love, let the memories sound
From the Jersey shore to the hills of Rome
One bite of this, and you’ll know you’re home!
🔥 Stir it up! Let the flavors ride!
Grandma’s spaghetti, passed down with pride!

(Bridge - Big Sax Solo 🎷🔥)
(Sax wails as the sauce bubbles, the steam rises, and the band kicks it into high gear!)

(Outro - Soft, then builds to a big finish!)
Now I stand in my kitchen, with my son by my side
Passin’ down the recipe with a heart full of pride
He takes his first bite, and he looks up at me
Says, “Dad, this tastes like a melody…”

🔥 Stir it up! Let it simmer down!
A little salt, a little love, let the memories sound
From the Jersey shore to the hills of Rome
One bite of this, and you’ll know you’re home!
🔥 Stir it up! Let the flavors ride!
Grandma’s spaghetti, passed down with pride!

Grandma’s Spaghetti (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Well, the sun’s sinkin’ low on the edge of town,
A hard day’s work, yeah, it’s wearin’ me down.
Mama used to say, “Son, don’t you cry,
There’s a dish on the table that’ll lift you high.”

(Pre-Chorus)
Grab that skillet, turn the heat up right,
Sauté them onions ‘til they shine real bright.
Ground beef sizzlin’, brown and lean,
Garlic and spice, yeah, it smells like a dream!

(Chorus)
🔥 Layer it up, make it hot!
Stack those tots, give it all you got!
Cheese melts slow, let the flavors collide,
Tater tot casserole, it’s a hell of a ride!

(Verse 2)
Now pour that cream, let it mix in deep,
Mushroom soup, yeah, it’s thick and sweet.
A little Worcestershire for that kick inside,
Salt and pepper, man, it’s country-fried!

(Pre-Chorus)
Lay it down in a big ol’ pan,
Spread it even, work it with your hands.
Tots go next, yeah, line ‘em up strong,
A crispy golden army, marchin’ on!

(Chorus)
🔥 Layer it up, make it hot!
Stack those tots, give it all you got!
Cheese melts slow, let the flavors collide,
Tater tot casserole, it’s a hell of a ride!

(Bridge - Big Sax Solo 🎷🔥 While the oven preheats and the casserole sets!)

(Breakdown - Springsteen monologue, slow and gritty…)
Now some folks rush it, some folks buy it cheap…
But this here dish, man, it cuts so deep.
You take your time, let the flavors blend,
Then dig right in—yeah, you’ll know it’s a friend…

(BIG BUILD… DRUMS KICK IN… FINAL CHORUS!)

🔥 Let it bake, let it shine!
That crispy top, oh man, it’s divine!
From the kitchen light to the county fair,
Tater tot casserole, love’s cookin’ there!

🔥 Layer it up, make it hot!
Stack those tots, give it all you got!
Cheese melts slow, let the flavors collide,
Tater tot casserole, it’s a hell of a ride!

Tot Town Blues (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Well, the streets run hot where the iron rails hum,
South Philly nights where the boys come from.
A sandwich born where the tough men stand,
Ain’t no silver spoon, just a workin’ man’s hand.

(Pre-Chorus)
Fire up the pressure, let that steel pot steam,
Shaved ribeye, yeah, it’s cut real clean.
Salt, black pepper, a little red heat,
Drop in the garlic, hear that sizzle beat!

(Chorus)
🔥 Stack it high, let the juice run down!
Cheese so melty, drippin’ all around!
From the mean streets, hot off the press,
Philly’s got a taste, man, it’s better than the rest!

(Verse 2)
Now throw in the onions, let ‘em sweat real slow,
Green bell peppers got that deep-down glow.
Beef broth pourin’, Worcestershire ride,
Lock that lid, let the pressure collide!

(Pre-Chorus)
Steam builds up, let the flavors infuse,
Tender like the wind on Broad Street blues.
Quick release, yeah, hear that sound,
Lift that lid—man, it’s goin’ down!

(Chorus)
🔥 Stack it high, let the juice run down!
Cheese so melty, drippin’ all around!
From the mean streets, hot off the press,
Philly’s got a taste, man, it’s better than the rest!

(Bridge - Big Sax Solo 🎷🔥 While the bread toasts and the meat rests!)

(Breakdown - Springsteen monologue, slow and gritty…)
Now some folks use a griddle, some folks don’t wait,
But the pressure cooker, man, it seals your fate.
Juices locked in, every bite runs deep,
Take one taste, yeah, you won’t lose sleep…

(BIG BUILD… DRUMS KICK IN… FINAL CHORUS!)

🔥 Grab that roll, man, slice it wide!
Lay the beef down, let the cheese collide!
From the Liberty Bell to the neon lights,
Philly cheesesteak, man, it hits just right!

🔥 Stack it high, let the juice run down!
Cheese so melty, drippin’ all around!
From the mean streets, hot off the press,
Philly’s got a taste, man, it’s better than the rest!

Brotherly Love on a Roll (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Another day in the office grind,
Typing away while I lose my mind.
Then in he strolls, ten past nine,
A perfect smile, his shoes still shine.

(Pre-Chorus)
He leans on my desk, so suave and tall,
“I’ve got a little something, no trouble at all.”
With that British charm and a wink in his eye,
How can I refuse? I can’t even try.

(Chorus)
While I’m stuck in meetings, drownin’ in calls,
He’s out on the green, just swingin’ at balls.
Double the pay, half the grind,
But I’m the one workin’ overtime.
I’ve got the golf club blues,
And nothing left to lose.

(Verse 2)
They hired us both on the very same day,
But his checks come loaded, while mine barely pay.
He’s got the charm, the tailored suits,
While I’ve got deadlines and worn-out boots.

(Pre-Chorus)
I see his grin, that devilish spark,
While I fight through spreadsheets well after dark.
He hands me his work, “Be a darling, would you?”
And somehow I smile, like I always do.

(Chorus)
While I’m stuck in meetings, drownin’ in calls,
He’s out on the green, just swingin’ at balls.
Double the pay, half the grind,
But I’m the one workin’ overtime.
I’ve got the golf club blues,
And nothing left to lose.

(Bridge)
The boys’ club rules, that much is clear,
No room for a girl like me ‘round here.
But one day soon, I swear they’ll see,
The best damn worker was always me.

(Final Chorus)
So keep your golf carts and clubhouse views,
I’ll keep my pride, I’ll pay my dues.
‘Cause when that glass ceiling starts to crack,
They’ll wish they’d had my back.
No more golf club blues,
I’ve got nothin’ left to lose.

(Outro - triumphant tone)
Next time he winks, I’ll just smile and say,
“Be a darling yourself — I’m off for the day.”

antidisestablishMANtarianism

Cha-Ching n’ Swing (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Dropped my car off at the shop, just a light on my dash,
Thought it’d be a quick fix, maybe gone in a flash.
Six hours pass, I’m still stuck in this chair,
Mechanics in the bay, I see ‘em laughin’ out there.

(Pre-Chorus)
The head guy strolls in, grease on his sleeve,
Says, “Ma’am, it’s worse than we first believed.”

(Chorus)
Blinker fluid runnin’ low,
That’s the cause, or so I’m told.
New transmission, engine too,
Four new tires, just for you.
Something tells me I’ve been played,
But I’m too broke to disobey.

(Verse 2)
“Two weeks old?” I remind with a frown,
But he just nods like I’m some helpless clown.
Says, “These things happen, best not ask why,”
While his buddies are watchin’, barely hidin’ their smiles.

(Pre-Chorus)
A thousand bucks for labor alone,
And my savings account is overthrown.

(Chorus)
Blinker fluid runnin’ low,
That’s the cause, or so I’m told.
New transmission, engine too,
Four new tires, just for you.
Something tells me I’ve been played,
But I’m too broke to disobey.

(Bridge)
Shoulda known when he scratched his chin,
With a smirk that could barely be held within.
But I signed the line, what choice did I see?
Guess jokes aren’t free at the ol’ Jiffy.

(Outro)
Now I’m drivin’ home with a thousand-yard stare,
Every honk and beep feels like a dare.
My wallet’s light, my trust is gone,
And my blinker still won’t turn on.

Blinker Blues (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
I bought a brand-new Windows PC, thought it’d be a breeze,
But now I’ve been on hold so long, I’m speakin’ fluent IVRese.
They say, “Let me transfer you,” then click, I hear the tone,
Three months in, my life’s a wreck, and I’m still all alone.

(Pre-Chorus)
They promised me a callback, said they'd fix it in a snap,
But every time I dial in, I fall into their trap.

(Chorus)
One last time, just verify,
Then wait two days and wonder why.
I lost my job, my husband is gone,
And all my files are dead and gone.
Shoulda bought a Mac instead,
Now my life is filled with dread.

(Verse 2)
The rep named Dave said, “Hold on tight, I’ll sort this out today,”
Then my call got dropped again—now Dave has gone away.
Each time I start from scratch again, like Groundhog Day on loop,
I gave them all my info, but they still don’t have a clue.

(Pre-Chorus)
They told me it was simple, just a password to reset,
Now my whole damn life’s in shambles—man, this might be my biggest regret.

(Chorus)
One last time, just verify,
Then wait two days and wonder why.
I lost my job, my husband is gone,
And all my files are dead and gone.
Shoulda bought a Mac instead,
Now my life is filled with dread.

(Bridge - spoken word breakdown)
"Ma’am, I just need to transfer you one more time..."
"No! Please, I can’t do this anymore!"
Click. Dial tone. 

(Outro - slow and sad)
Now I sit here in the dark, my screen just blinking blue,
A cautionary tale of pain for folks like me and you.
So if you're thinkin’ Windows, let me save you from despair,
Just get yourself a Mac, my friend...
And avoid this nightmare.

One Last Time (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
They call me in when the ship's gone down,
A sinking deck, a crooked crown.
“Fix it quick, clean up this mess,”
But don’t expect no more, no less.

The markets crash, the tempers rise,
They hand me failure in disguise.
“Give her a chance,” they smugly say,
But they’re already planning who’s next to play.

(Chorus)
Glass cliff rising, edge so steep,
They watch me climb, pray I won’t keep.
But I don’t stumble, I don’t fall —
I build a bridge and cross it all.
Glass cliff rising, don’t look down —
They’d love to see me hit the ground.

(Verse 2)
The headlines read, “She gave her best.”
But they’re relieved when I join the rest.
Clean hands shaking, they grin with pride,
“Back to the boys” — their glass walls hide.

But what they don’t see through their champagne haze,
Is cracks are forming in their old boys’ ways.
The tides are turning, the storm’s begun,
A reckoning rising with the sun.

(Chorus)
Glass cliff breaking, sky turns red,
We take the power they’ve always fled.
No more tokens, no more shame,
We carve the future in our name.
Glass cliff falling, watch it fade —
The queens remain, unafraid.

(Instrumental - Ominous rumble shifts to triumphant horns and driving percussion)

(Bridge - Empowered Tone)
From the ashes rise the wise,
No empty suits, no hollow lies.
The towers fall, the borders shift,
A matriarch’s hands begin to lift.

No wars for greed, no schemes for gold,
Just justice fierce and stories told.
Men line up to break the ground,
While women lead the world they’ve found.

(Chorus - Triumphant)
Golden throne and skies of blue,
A world reborn, a dream come true.
They labor hard, they sweat, they strain —
But this time peace will break the chain.
Golden throne, the echoes cease —
And in their place, eternal peace.

(Outro)
No glass cliffs, no bitter games,
Just builders strong and endless flames.
We rise, we rule, we stake our claim —
And history finally knows our name.

Glass to Gold (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
They walk through the door, all handshakes and grins,
Spot the nearest suit, think, "Well, he must be him."
But I’m standin’ right here, five foot six tall,
In my own damn office, framed pictures on the wall.

(Pre-Chorus)
Their smiles start to twitch when the truth’s comin’ through,
“You’re the owner?” they stammer, like it can’t be true.
A nervous laugh, a sideways glance,
Like they just missed out on their victory dance.

(Chorus)
Five foot six and full of fire,
Built this dream, climbed even higher.
They blink, they stare, they can’t compute,
But I’m the boss, no substitute.
Call it shock, call it denial —
Watch me run this place with style.

(Verse 2)
They scan the room like cameras might roll,
Waitin’ for pranks, or someone on patrol.
But I don’t flinch, I don’t break stride,
I’ve tamed the storms, I own the ride.

(Pre-Chorus)
Their voices soften, their laughter fades,
Still can’t believe how the cards were played.
But my name’s on the sign, my sweat built these walls,
No silver spoon, no crystal halls.

(Chorus)
Five foot six and full of fire,
Built this dream, climbed even higher.
They blink, they stare, they can’t compute,
But I’m the boss, no substitute.
Call it shock, call it denial —
Watch me run this place with style.

(Bridge)
They’ll raise their glass when the deals go through,
But forget the face that pulled them through.
They see a king where a queen has stood —
But I’m not here to be understood.

(Final Chorus)
Five foot six and burnin’ bright,
Made my mark, claimed my right.
They can smirk, they can doubt,
But they’ll still call me when the chips are out.
I’m the owner, I’m the spark,
And I’ve turned their shade into my art.

(Outro)
So next time they blink and miss the view,
Let ‘em wonder how I do what I do.
Five foot six — that’s all it takes,
To shake the ground and watch it break.

Five Foot Six Fire (Remastered)

(Verse 1)
Monday morning, turn the key,
Click-click-click — it’s haunting me.
Back to the shop, they shake their heads,
“Loose bolts again?” The mechanic dreads.

Brake lines cut, the engine’s fried,
No one knows how many times I’ve tried.
But I see the truth in the grainy glow —
A furry fiend, my mortal foe.

(Chorus)
There’s a squirrel under the hood,
Up to nothing good.
Nuts and bolts and twisted wires,
Sabotage and small desires.
But war is near, I’m locked and loaded —
This tale’s about to get exploded.

(Verse 2)
I rigged the traps with sharpened steel,
A landmine set beneath the wheel.
Gasoline trails and wires ignite,
A flamethrower poised for the perfect fight.

Shotguns cocked, the lasers scan,
A squirrel-proof, battle-ready plan.
But he just grins, the bastard’s sly —
That twitching tail, a battle cry.

(Chorus)
There’s a squirrel under the hood,
Up to nothing good.
With teeth like knives and eyes like sin,
But I won’t let that devil win.
My driveway’s now a battlefield —
A rodent’s fate has been revealed.

(Bridge - Chaotic Battle Sound Effects)
Engines roar, the oil ignites,
Flames burst high — pure, deadly light.
The shotgun fires, the mines explode,
The squirrel leaps past my last stronghold.

(Verse 3)
The wreckage smokes, my car is gone,
Twisted metal at the break of dawn.
But from the ash, the rodent crawls —
Victorious grin and fur still flawless.

(Final Chorus)
There’s no squirrel under the hood,
He’s gone for good — or so he should.
I won the fight, but paid the price —
A flaming heap my sacrifice.
No roads to drive, no gears to shift —
Just one burnt-out, squirrel-sized rift.

(Outro)
But as I laugh through tears and grime,
I swear next time he won’t survive.
No more plans, no traps in sight —
I’ll build a tank by Friday night.

Driven Nuts (Remastered) Bonus Track

"La Longue Poursuite" ignites with a relentless, heart-pounding tempo as the terrorists storm the French opera house. Sharp, driving strings and thunderous percussion collide with frantic brass, capturing the sheer panic and confusion. Dissonant notes spiral as the audience screams and performers scatter, while pounding drums echo like footsteps in a desperate chase. The chaotic, fast-paced rhythm mirrors the terror and urgency of the moment, plunging viewers into the heart of the unfolding nightmare.

La longue poursuite

Lyrics: Verse I
The battle lost, I fall to ground,
My screen fades dark, no second round.
Yet lo! What’s this? A voice returns,
The cutscene playeth, as time burns.
Sir Eldric speaks, for fifteenth time,
Of traitor’s plot and cursed slime.
I mash the keys, I beg, I plead—
But Skip is gone, and I must heed.

Chorus
Oh unskippable scroll, thou cruelest lore,
I’ve heard thy tale, I need no more!
Let me swing mine blade, not watch thee weep,
Thy monologue hath robbed my sleep.
Ye gods of dev, what hast thou wrought?
This loop of woe, for naught but plot!
Let me press Start, or smite thy scene—
And end this cinematic dream.

Verse II
The villain walks with pace so slow,
Explaining things I already know.
He turns and smirks, then turns again,
His pacing cursed by unseen chain.
The camera spins with needless flair,
A hawk doth cry, the wind blows hair.
And still I sit, my snack long gone,
While dialogue drones ever on.

Bridge
I’ve watched this tale with patient grace,
Five times or more, the very face.
Of mother’s death, of brother’s fall,
Of kingdom lost and shattered wall.
But let me play, oh let me swing!
Not watch thee ponder every thing.
A button prompt, a single skip—
Would save me from this sinking ship.

Final Chorus
So heed this plea, ye lords who code,
Let not thy tale be cutscene-load.
For we who play seek action bright,
Not endless speech in candlelight.
May future scrolls be swift and kind,
With “X to skip” and peace of mind.
And should I fall in boss fight’s scene—
Let me skip… or rage unseen.

Scroll of Unskippable Cutscene

Lyrics: Verse I
I bought thee new, in colors bright,
With neon sheen and promise light.
A bond was forged, a sacred pact,
That thou wouldst move with noble tact.
But lo! In time, thine aim did stray,
Mine hero walked the other way.
With thumb untouched, thou turned thy will—
A cursed slide o'er yonder hill.

Chorus
Oh Joy-Con, sweet betrayer mine,
Thou once were true, now serpentine.
Thy drift hath torn my soul in twain,
I press not left—yet left remains.
Repair be slow, and coin be dear,
And still thou veerest year to year.
What pact was made, what oath was spurned,
That thou from grace so swift hast turned?

Verse II
Sir Link did leap into the void,
Not by mine hand, but drift employed.
My cart did swerve, my smash did fail,
My blade did swing like drunken gale.
I tried to clean thee, prayed and blew,
Yet still thy soul to chaos flew.
And when I wrote to Kyoto’s court,
They sent a scroll of cold retort.

Bridge
The blacksmiths say, “We’ll fix thy blade,”
But wait be long and hope doth fade.
For joy once lost is hard to mend,
And drifting hearts do not pretend.
Some tape their sticks with potion tight,
Some exile thee from daily fight.
Yet deep inside, I mourn thee still—
A partner lost to faulty will.

Final Chorus
So raise thy voice, ye fallen crew,
Whose cursèd Joy-Cons wander too.
From noble quest to farmstead game,
No soul is safe, all share the shame.
Nintendo, hear this wretched cry,
Our thumbs grow numb, our spirits die.
Oh Joy-Con, why must thou resist?
A knight betrayed... by analog twist.

Of Joy-Con Drift and Broken Pacts

Lyrics: Verse I
I logged on bright with heart so bold,
To lands of quests and treasures gold.
With sword in hand and stats anew,
I sought to smite, to win, pursue.
A world so vast, so full, so grand—
With players proud in guilds well-plann’d.
But lo, my task did soon appear:
"Collect ten boar tusks"—oh, my dear.

Chorus
Oh grind, thou cruel and endless thread,
Thou keep’st me clicking while joy hath fled.
I slay and loot and level high,
Yet still I ask myself, “But why?”
A helm awaits, five hundred kills,
But all I gain are aches and bills.
For what is gold, and what is fame—
If joy hath vanished from the game?

Verse II
A potion brewed, a cloak well-rolled,
Yet all is gray and growing cold.
I’ve farmed the mats for weeks on end,
And now must trade with Steve, my friend.
A raid awaits, but not tonight,
The guild is gone, the time not right.
And still I walk ‘mid wolves and dust,
To earn a mount I cannot trust.

Bridge
What madness drives this ceaseless toil?
This clicking through the pixel’d soil?
My friends have wed, my dog hath died—
Yet I grind on, unbent, uncried.
Each bar that fills begets the next,
A cycle looped, a soul perplexed.
For once I played to feel alive,
Now I just… grind to survive.

Final Chorus
So hear me, devs of distant keep,
Who forged this world so wide, so deep.
Let not the quest be numbers blind,
But tales that stir the heart and mind.
Yet still I click, yet still I stay,
Though youth and sleep have slipped away.
A helm I seek, I shan’t rehearse—
For I am bound… by MMO’s curse.

The Grind Eternal - An MMO’s Curse

Lyrics: Verse I
There came a time, not long ago,
When stocks were low and prices woe.
The bots did prowl, the scalpers thrived,
While common folk could not contrive.
But from the mist, a hero rose,
With swiftest hands and calm repose.
With holy aim and blessed key,
He struck and claimed—MSRP.

Chorus
Oh sing, ye bards, of noble feat!
He bought the box—no markup cheat!
No eBay trap, no PayPal snare,
Just retail price, so pure, so rare!
A checkout clean, a cart divine,
No CAPTCHA lost, no error sign.
His tale shall live eternally—
The Hero brave of MSRP.

Verse II
They call him Greycloak, Fleet of Click,
Who bested scripts with mortal trick.
No Discord ping, no auto-bot,
Just patience, luck, and parking spot.
He walked from store with treasure grand,
While scalpers wept and bit their hand.
The clerk did cheer, “Thy total’s just—
Four ninety-nine, no extra dust!”

Bridge
He rode his steed, the Target cart,
Past those who’d bid a house or heart.
He passed the flippers lined in black,
Each holding dozens in a sack.
He raised his box into the sun,
And crowds did cry, “A chosen one!”
The winds did shift, the skies did part—
For justice burned within his heart.

Final Chorus
So let this be thy guiding flame,
When greed doth rise and twist the game.
Though scarcity may rule the day,
One soul may break the scalper’s sway.
So stand ye firm and do not flee,
For thou too might claim MSRP.
And shouldst thou win, go tell the land—
"’Twas retail price… not secondhand."

Ye Scalper’s Bane - The Hero of MSRP (Bonus Track)

Lyrics: Verse I
Oh hark, I spent my coin with glee,
On disk of lore and fantasy.
It promised dragons, quests, and strife—
A thousand hours, a richer life.
But lo! When once the game did start,
Mine screen went black, mine horse fell apart.
The mage was nude, the map askew,
And dialogue looped on “How d’ye do?”

Chorus
O cruel day-one patch, unseen,
A ghostly script that waits between.
The game I bought is not yet made—
But lies within a future trade.
I sit and watch the bar crawl slow,
“Verifying files,” the tale of woe.
And as it downloads, I despair,
For forty gigs clog up the air.

Verse II
Sir Geoff did brag, “Pre-ordered, aye!”
But when he launched, his steed did fly.
Not with grand wings, nor grace of fate—
But 'cross the void and through a gate.
“My sword’s a tree,” quoth noble Ben,
“Mine armor’s turned to cows again!”
The devs proclaim, “We patch anon!”
Yet weeks go by, the bugs live on.

Bridge
Wherefore this fate? Why launch so fast?
Can not thy testing truly last?
Must we, the folk, now bear the brunt—
Of alphas sold as final stunt?
Thou wouldst not sell thy bread half-baked,
Nor wine still stewing, undistaked.
But games, it seems, are born too soon,
And fixed by some far phantom moon.

Final Chorus
So raise a glass, and curse the day,
When launch did mean we’d wait to play.
Oh golden disk, thy gleam deceives,
For joy now cometh weeks in leaves.
And should ye buy upon release,
Prepare thy soul for thine unease—
For thou art not a player bold,
But just a tester... who paid in gold.

Curse of the Day-One Patch

Verse I
In ancient halls where gamers dwell,
The bards still sing what tales they tell—
Of House Sony, bold and fair,
With DualSense blades and SSD air.
They ruled the east with single play,
Where stories deep kept foes at bay.
Their knights did fight with quick display,
And whispers spake of sweet 4K.

Verse II
But in the west, bold Clan Xbox rose,
Their Game Pass scrolls in endless rows.
They summoned games from far and near,
With backward rites from yester-year.
Their banners green, their coffers vast,
Their cloud-based spears were built to last.
And so the realm was torn in twain,
Each faction vying for domain.

Chorus
Oh woe! The Console War began,
With memes and flame from fan to fan.
A thousand forums, scorched and dry,
As specs were weighed 'neath blood-red sky.
No peace, no pause, no final port,
Just endless posts in tribal court.
And all the while, a shadow crept…
PC did scoff and quietly wept.

Verse III
The war did rage for many moons,
Through trailers false and leaked cartoons.
Each launch event a sacred rite,
With sudden price drops in the night.
House Sony spake, “We’ve Hideo’s gift!”
Clan Xbox yelled, “Our frames don’t shift!”
Yet none would yield, nor ground would give,
For exclusives were how kings did live.

Bridge
In mountain keep of Nintendo's line,
The plumbers danced, untouched, divine.
While Switchfolk played with joy and grin,
Outside the war they thrived within.
And in the North, the Master Race,
Did tinker in a quiet place.
“Let children squabble,” they proclaimed,
“We build our rigs and none be shamed.”

Final Chorus
So let this song ne’er end in peace,
For once the quarrel doth release,
Another box shall rise anew—
With teraflops and shaders too.
The console war shall ever burn,
With no true victors in return.
Yet gamers all, from near to yon—
Will still buy both... when sales come on.

Console War of House Sony & Clan Xbox

Lyrics: Verse I
I didst place mine order fair,
Three moons ago, or was it e’er?
The box was rare, the slipcase sweet,
A holy relic incomplete.
"A limited run," they cried aloud,
"Buy now or be the lesser crowd!"
And so I paid with trembling hand,
To wait upon that sacred brand.

Chorus
Oh Limited Run, thy name be pain,
Thou takest gold, yet makest no gain.
I seek thy game, yet none arrive,
My shelf lies bare, my soul deprived.
Where is thy box, thy card, thy guide?
Still lost in ships that part the tide.
We pilgrims wait with brows undone,
Still faithful to thee… Limited Run.

Verse II
Some say it ships in fortnight's time,
But calendars do lose their rhyme.
A year may pass, a sequel bloom,
Ere first I hold what once I doom'd.
A trading post in modern guise,
Yet run like monks ‘neath slowing skies.
They print with care, they say with pride—
While I grow old and dreams subside.

Bridge
I check mine scroll, I check again,
But tracking numbers bring but pain.
“Awaiting print,” the banner reads,
As hope doth rot like orchard’s weeds.
Others flaunt their bounty fast,
While mine lies bound in ghostly past.
Still forums groan and Discords burn,
With tales of waiting, each in turn.

TW/SK

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