IT'S BACK EVERYONE!


This is the “Creiss “Just A Wanderer”” replacement for my AU “Deltarune: The Even Samer Puppet”. Think about it, no one has ever made a Spamton --> Creiss AU that's loosely based off a Spamton --> Kris P. "All Around Hero," where the aforementioned Creiss au is derived from a Kris --> Spameen AU that follows up a Spamton --> Cris AU that branch from a Kris --> Spamton AU that stems from a Spamton --> Kris AU where Kris takes the role Spamton! The Porkline needs more meta! 
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~ Amuse Bouche:
Pulled Pork Bruschetta

It appears that, in my endless scour of the most delectable ingredients, I have come across a peculiar Leporid donned in conductor attire. According to my compendium of flavors, it would bring a nice earthy taste to my meals. Clearly something that would help me fall back into the favor of Michelin. Alas, I must make myself presentable to lure the rabbit in. After all, the less they struggle, the more tender their meat is.

𝄁 Um... Mr. Chef man? You know I can hear your plot to cook me right?

~Blasted! It seems as if the rabbit has already broken through my facade! I must act quick to secure the ingredient!

𝄁 Cripes! I've gotta get out of here! 

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Special thanks to @jaohall for the vocals
Special reminder to @wolfra421 for the K. RT. Eddie vocals
Special thanks to @thenextlevel98 and @bucks1228 for being so patient with me

[Deltarune: The Even Samer Puppet] Maxain: "The Next Big Thing!"

This is the “Name's Creiss Anywhere's My-Anywhere's” replacement for my AU “Deltarune: The Even Samer Puppet”. Think about it, no one has ever made a Spamton --> Creiss AU that's loosely based off a Spamton --> Kris P. "All Around Hero," where the aforementioned Creiss au is derived from a Kris --> Spameen AU that follows up a Spamton --> Cris AU that branch from a Kris --> Spamton AU that stems from a Spamton --> Kris AU where Kris takes the role Spamton! The Porkline needs more meta! I can't make the same joke as the previous upload on my banned account because Maxon's back! Long live even samer week!
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~ Drink:
Twist Lemon Martini

In times such as this in which I need to procure fresh ingredients, I am grateful for my trusty butcher's knife attached to the stump of my wrist. Although haphazardly placed, it has served me well, such as in this moment.

𝄁 W-w-wait Mr. Chef man c-can you put the kni- erm… arm down? I’m no r-rabbit! I’m an artist like you! C-c-can’t you see that? Perhaps we can… uh… make a deal? I’ll g-get you your rabbit and uh… y-you spare my life! 

~The rabbit tries to appeal to me by claiming that they’re a fellow practitioner of the fine arts. Bah! As if that’s enough to fool me! If they’re so much of an artist as they claim to be, then let me see how they fare in the art of combat!

𝄁 (Calm down Creisle, you’ve fought tougher guys before)

*Maxain’s knife-arm-thing strikes Creisle, nearly chopping off their shoulder*

𝄁 DOUBLE CRIPES!

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Special thanks to @jaohall for the vocals
Special reminder to @wolfra421 for the K. RT. Eddie vocals
Special thanks to @thenextlevel98 and @bucks1228 for being so patient with me

[Deltarune: The Even Samer Puppet] Y~Y>YOU CAN CALL ME MAXAIN Y~Y>YOU CAN-

This is the “Requiem in Eb Major” replacement for my AU “Deltarune: The Even Samer Puppet”. Think about it, no one has ever made a Spamton --> Creiss AU that's loosely based off a Spamton --> Kris P. "All Around Hero," where the aforementioned Creiss au is derived from a Kris --> Spameen AU that follows up a Spamton --> Cris AU that branch from a Kris --> Spamton AU that stems from a Spamton --> Kris AU where Kris takes the role Spamton! The Porkline needs more meta! Can you believe that a man so neatly dressed and half insane is actually suffering from chronic artist's burnout? This could be a metaphor for something but I'm not sure.
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~ Entree:
Shrimp Po-Boy Sandwich

And so the artist I once confused for a rabbit returns to me, despite my attempt to take their life. Why? Out of empathy? Curiosity? Or perhaps they’re here to laugh at my misfortune again… 

𝄁 Woah woah woah Mr.! I’m not here to beat ya again! It’s just that… well… I’m not sure… I-I… just want answers. That’s it.

𝄁 I saw the posters Mr., the old, torn off papers of you. Guess you used to be big ‘round these places. What happened?

~ The artist is right, I used to have it all. Fame, power, praise… that was when I was a young man, with a heart of fire and a passion for the art of the meal. And yet in the twilight years of my career… I... just… lost it. First I cooked for the art… then for the money… then just for the praise… 

~ On that dreadful day of my final banquet, the only thing running through my mind was… the approval of Michelin himself. The only one that really mattered in the end. I never really liked him but… he was my connection to everything. Without him… I’m nothing, and here I am, no customers, no restaurant, nothing. 

𝄁 Jeez, I, well, I kinda feel sorry for ya now… I know that you tried to take my life and I’m supposed to be more upset about that but, I got nothing. 

~ I can tell, the artist is young like I was, trying to find their place in the world. Doomed to the same fate as I have. 

𝄁 Hey! No need to act all miserable like that! I’m sure there’s still some heart in ya! I’m sure there’s something I can do to help ya get back on your feet!

~ Hmph… perhaps I should take the artist’s offer. There’s no use moping around by these broken docks anyway. 

~ Somewhere… across this great ocean lies an ancient city. Legends say that the souls of worlds gone by flow through its very canals, and at the heart of it all lies a flame of pure passion. I could make something, my greatest dish, if only I could get there…

𝄁 Oh! I’ve got a key to the shipyard that I stole from the governess a while ago! She still thinks she dropped it by the plaza, heh! We can nab a boat and get you there!

~ An offer too great to resist… from someone that should be hating my guts… but… either way… I’m all out of options. I’ve got nothing left to lose now do I? I shall accept their aid. 

𝄁 Wonderful! Let’s get going then!

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Special thanks to @jaohall for the vocals
Special reminder to @wolfra421 for the K. RT. Eddie vocals
Special thanks to @thenextlevel98 and @bucks1228 for being so patient with me

[Deltarune: The Even Samer Puppet] 12 AM Reservation

This is the “Sea Shanty Collections: Blackbeard” replacement for my AU “Deltarune: The Even Samer Puppet”. Think about it, no one has ever made a Spamton --> Creiss AU that's loosely based off a Spamton --> Kris P. "All Around Hero," where the aforementioned Creiss au is derived from a Kris --> Spameen AU that follows up a Spamton --> Cris AU that branch from a Kris --> Spamton AU that stems from a Spamton --> Kris AU where Kris takes the role Spamton! The Porkline needs more meta! An Mus_Darwin in the Porkline that continues from a nonexistent track whose name I made up in 5 seconds? Preposterous! This isn't even a "All Those Who Wander Are Cost" replacement! That comes some other day! And it doesn't even follow the typical Mus_Darwin formula! Also it doesn't even use the Requiem in Eb Major version of Fields of Hopes and Dreams! What abomination have I cooked up?
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𝄁 Triple Cripes Creisle… what have you gotten yourself in today? 

𝄁 Acting all sob and sad for a guy that wanted to serve you on a platter just moments ago!

𝄁 Still… I can’t say I don’t feel sorry for that guy… 

𝄁 Ugh! What should I do? I can’t tell Zera and Maddie that I’ve been doing this instead of preparing for the eggstravanganza! And I’m already on thin ice with the Governess! If she finds out… Yeesh! I don’t even want to think about it!

𝄁 But then again… I did make that deal to him… and he looks so desperate… 

𝄁 If I was in his shoes I’d ask for just the same… 

𝄁 Fine. I’ll drop him off at his island or whatever and get back as soon as possible. I’ve got like… an hour until we’re supposed to meet up? Yeah, an hour.  I hope it’ll be enough.

𝄁 *Sigh…* Creisle Creisle Creisle why do you have to be so kind?
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Special thanks to @jaohall for the vocals
Special reminder to @wolfra421 for the K. RT. Eddie vocals
Special thanks to @thenextlevel98 and @bucks1228 for being so patient with me

[Deltarune: The Even Samer Puppet] Opus 99 ~ Coltrane

This is the “Corpus Avenue” replacement for my AU “Deltarune: The Even Samer Puppet”. Think about it, no one has ever made a Spamton --> Creiss AU that's loosely based off a Spamton --> Kris P. "All Around Hero," where the aforementioned Creiss au is derived from a Kris --> Spameen AU that follows up a Spamton --> Cris AU that branch from a Kris --> Spamton AU that stems from a Spamton --> Kris AU where Kris takes the role Spamton! The Porkline needs more meta! If you don't see the direction where this is going then you are blind (and deaf)
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* You're finally at that one city the weird chef-man was talking all about
* The crimson water beneath you is boiling. The steam permeates your flimsy boat. It burns your nostrils. You can barely breathe.
* And yet... that isn't even the worst part.
* For when you gaze into the water...
* what gazes back...
* isn't a reflection of your own.
* Keep moving Creisle. There's no turning back now...
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Special thanks to @jaohall for the vocals
Special reminder to Marsh (what's your soundcloud btw) for the K. RT. Eddie vocals
Special thanks to @thenextlevel98 for being so patient with me
rip  @bucks1228
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* (B hkbtt ekpxfq dbsdgft zpvq fzf. Js't tsbqjmh bs zpv.)

[Deltarune: The Even Samer Puppet] Sous-Vide Canal

This is the “Dissonant Harmonies” replacement for my AU “Deltarune: The Even Samer Puppet”. Think about it, no one has ever made a Spamton --> Creiss AU that's loosely based off a Spamton --> Kris P. "All Around Hero," where the aforementioned Creiss au is derived from a Kris --> Spameen AU that follows up a Spamton --> Cris AU that branch from a Kris --> Spamton AU that stems from a Spamton --> Kris AU where Kris takes the role Spamton! Now that Maxon has once again been deleted Maxain shall take his spot once again! The fire takes hold of the broken soul. To consume. To destroy. To burn.
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~ Second Course:
Wild Game Stew

~ Finally... after all these years... my search is complete... In due time I shall reclaim the passion and talent I lost so long ago. For the Eternal Flame is finally mine!

𝄁 Mr. Chef man? You good? I’d love to hear all about this “Eternal Flame” thing but I’ve gotta get back to the city!

~ The artist doesn’t know... they don’t know what glory they’re about to witness! I can hear the flames whispering in my ears... Such innovation! Such creativity! Recipes of dishes from beyond the confines of this world!

𝄁 A-a-alright now be careful about that flame ya got there. You’re getting dangerously close!

~ The rabbit does not know what they speak of! They do not know of their wondrous fate that is at hand! For they shall attain glory as the centerpiece of my most magnificent creation yet!

𝄁 R-RABBIT!? Y-y-yeah... no thanks... I... really, uh,  gotta go so... uh... bye?

𝄁 (This guy’s crazy why did I ever trust him why did I ever trust him why did I do this in the first place)

~ FOOLISH RABBIT! They can’t see my blessing! Were they not the one that helped me across that ancient sea? Who helped me reclaim all that I’ve lost? I owe the rabbit a favor... and what greater pleasure can I bestow upon someone than for them to be a star like me! 

𝄁 (You have to run Creisle run run run as fast as you can oh god what is he doing he’s walking into the fire oh god WHY IS HE WALKING INTO THE FIRE no time to think Creisle just get to the boat just get to the boat GET TO THE BOAT)

*Creisle scrambles out of the abandoned restaurant they found the flame in. The boat is in sight*

𝄁 (I’m almost there I’m almost there just a bit more COME ON RUN wait is it getting hotter oh no it’s getting hotter the heat is unbearable YOU’RE ALMOST THERE TWENTY MORE STEPS)

*A massive fire rises from the restaurant. Its glow casts a shadow upon Creisle*

𝄁 (TEN MORE STEPS YOU CAN MAKE IT)

*Maxain’s burning hat floats down in front of Creisle, they brush it aside and keep running*

𝄁 (FIVE MORE STEPS)

*A maniacal laugh bellows from the sky*

𝄁 (THREE MORE STEPS)

*The shadow of a blade comes into view*

𝄁 (TWO)

*It’s falling. Falling faster than anything that large should fall*

𝄁 (ONE)

*A massive knife falls right in front of Creisle’s nose, stopping them dead in their tracks*

~ AND SO THE RABBIT TRIES TO FLEE FROM ITS FATE! BUT ALAS, THEIR STRUGGLES ARE FUTILE... NOW THEY HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO JOIN ME.

𝄁 (double triple quadruple fucking cripes what the FUCK do I do now)

*Creisle turns to witness the THING Maxain has become, there’s nothing they can do now*

𝄁 Nothing... but to fight it...
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Special thanks to @jaohall for the vocals
Special reminder to Marsh (what's your soundcloud btw) for the K. RT. Eddie vocals
Special thanks to @thenextlevel98 for being so patient with me
rip @bucks1228
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* (Sgf ekpxfq hbyft vopm sgfjq njtepqsvmf jm okfbtvqf...)

[Deltarune: The Even Samer Puppet] OVERBURNT SORROWS

(BE PATIENT I'LL FINISH THE THUMBNAIL LATER)

This is the...I  don't know uh... "Ensemble of Madness????" replacement for yadda yadda yadda you get the gist already. Think of this as Maxain's "Crumbling Tower" even though he's not the titan (spoilers oh my god).  I'm in a rush to get this out before vacation so you'll get your ramblings and polished dialogue later


(Flames surrounds you in every direction)

(The canals are boiling)

(Steam and smoke cloud your vision) 

(The heat is unbearable)

(No point in trying to get back to the mainland, the boat's probably toast by now)

(No where else but up)

(You'll probably suffocate in the smoke)

(But it'll buy you some time) 

(And it's better than burning down here) 

(Find a way up)

You'll get your ending speal later okay

[Deltarune: The Even Samer Puppet]  Running From the Fire

I am a daughter of saturn! Our ringed cosmic mother decrees that the promised golden age will come soon! I have faith in the liberation of me and my siblings! We will rise over the corpses of the savages who veil their hatred with the guise of debate and protection! May mother smite the wicked! ♄ 🏳️‍⚧️🪐🏳️‍🌈🪐🏳️‍⚧️ ♄

KRT Eddie coming some day

Self titled "queen of sloth" (I prefer empress but colonialism is badthink)

Absolute Johnathan "Absolute Scarecrow" Crane's wife

Unfunnier

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