the world is cruel, but it teaches us some things
if you rise to much, be careful, it might clip your wings
i don't know what i am capable of anymore
waking up everyday just feels like a fucking chore


she was blooming, just like a flower
everyday would give me power
but i made her feel so sour..
to the point it made me cry in the shower


her mind has been made, there is no going back
i lost myself, now i'm thinking what i lack
why every word i tell her feels like an attack?
every time i talk to her, i just wanna unpack


she keeps closing herself off, i keep trying to reach her
she is small in height, but got a really big temper
i was naive and hurtful, just an amateur
but i could never forget the way that we were


the time we spent together, will live forever in my mind
i will say i'm sorry a million times, because i wqs blind
i thought that our love is stronger, could be refined
but i hurt you so bad, i guess i was just unkind


but it's okay now, i am done pursuing our relationship
every word that i say, for you it's just another guilt-trip
i am tired as well, just like you were when u broke up with
just remeber, that on your side i will forever be



a flower [lyrics in desc.]

it's like the time we spent together was an illusion
i wish we could have seen more clear through this confusion
believing in our love, i guess it was just a delusion
i'll make myself understood, please excuse my intrusion

i didn't want it to be like this, now i'm left here wondering
looking for words to tell you, instead i'm just stuttering
the pain is as strong as ever, it won't let me forget
but it cannot take me over, it won't change my mindset
even if it's there, you can make it more bearable
don't worry about your future, it can't be that terrible
be present in the now, offer yourself some space
wish i could tell you these in person, but you don't want to see my face
that doesn't matter, because i know this will reach you
i still love you, sorry it hurts, but this has always been true

it pains me to know that everyday you still suffer
and that my gesture only made your times rougher
but my intentions are pure, and they always have been
and i understand that i hurt you, i didn t want to be mean
at the end of the day, this was your decision
we always knew it would be hard, wish you would have done a revision
now it's over and it hurts, everywhere we look we see each other
i'm not waiting for the time when there will be another
even if i didn't show it, to me it meant the world
sorry that we are not together, sorry it had to hurt

it's like the time we spent together was an illusion
i wish we could have seen more clear through this confusion
believing in our love, i guess it was just a delusion
i'll make myself understood, please excuse my intrusion




illusion [lyrics in desc.]

i am trying to accept that all good times come to an end
it is painful and depressing, can't find a way to mend
i can say a thousand words, but they are weak
i wish we could at least just speak

it is all my fault, i regret i was not completely there
when i unlock my phone, i see your glare
i made you cry so many times, you thought i didn't care
now all that's left from you in my room is your hair

(chorus)
And the good times fade away
wished i could have made you stay
now the silence screams your name,
only i am left to blame

i was scared of being alone, scared of losing it all
i was scared of not being able to climb this wall
you don't understand, kept asking why it took me so long to realise
well it is hard to see the way, when you contemplate your demise
we are away from each other, and i long to see you
it's hard to forgive myself for what i put you through
but there is more to life than just being sad and alone
just make sure you properly get in the zone

(chorus)
And the good times fade away
wished i could have made you stay
now the silence screams your name,
only i am left to blame

memories are distracting, they cloud your vision
i understand it's hard to take the right decision
it doesn't have to be the right one everytime
it's not like either of us has already hit their prime
you will sleep well again, laugh and enjoy life
even if your chest feels like it nests a knife
you are strong, stronger than i will ever be
will be thinking of you whenever i look at the sea

(bridge)
maybe someday down the line,
you'll see the truth in these rhymes
but until then, i'll just hold this pain
like a shadow in the rain

(chorus)
And the good times fade away
wished i could have made you stay
now the silence screams your name,
only i am left to blame






good times [lyrics in desc.]

This is where I'm supposed to be
A waste of time and space, people are afraid of me
My head hurts and I want to sleep
I sabotaged myself and the wound is deep

You did your best, offered me all you had
All I ever did for you was just bad
I cannot stop hurting you to save your life
My words get twisted in you like a knife

[Chorus]
Can't escape this empty space,
Every promise I just break.
My own shadow, I embrace,
Leaving wreckage in my wake.

I was selfish, wanted to experience love
You were selfless, put me above
Truth is that I didn't understand it
How many times I just wanted to quit

Because I was scared of what the future's holding
Thought our lives we could be molding
Either way, there is no excuse
For the way I treated you, no big news

I'm glad you got to see something that I didn't
I just hate myself and want to be hidden
It's all about me all the time
But this time I crossed the line

[Chorus]
Can't escape this empty space,
Every promise I just break.
My own shadow, I embrace,
Leaving wreckage in my wake.

The pain I put you through shall be my lesson
My love is pain, just an obsession
I'm crying while I'm writing this
Falling deeper and deeper into the abyss

[Bridge]
And all I truly pray
Is you'll find brighter days.
Away from this dark haze,
Escape my broken maze.

Because I really didn't want it to be like this
I didn't want your love to be dismissed
I'm just a child, selfish and immature
Often misunderstood and very insecure

My head is a mess, I don't understand my emotions
It's like I'm unable to keep up with life's motions
I hate myself because I hurt and caused you pain
I skip a heartbeat whenever I think of your name

I am sorry for not being stronger
I am sorry we couldn't talk for longer
I guess this is all I will ever be
Forever alone, and sad for the fact that I am me

i hate myself [lyrics in desc.]

I made this song so I can better understand
That my words hurt you even if it's not planned.
For all the avoidance you endured,
It's hard, it hurts when you don't know what to do.
Feelings can be misleading, remnants of a better memory,
All that's left now is me as your worst enemy.
So much pain that I cause just by asking "why?"
So many times I made you sad, and you just cried.

(Chorus)
This song's my truth, a hard understanding,
Of the silent pain I kept demanding.
Now I see the damage, clear and vast,
A broken future, tied to my past.

Got you to the point that you think I do it on purpose,
To the point that you think I'm just part of a circus.
I realize it's from within, I'm doing this to myself.
Happy that you found it, found some self-respect.
Self-worth is something that no one can teach,
Every one of us has to fight for it to be reached.
Too weak and delusional to accept things as they are,
But at least I know that my baby will be a star.

(Chorus)
This song's my truth, a hard understanding,
Of the silent pain I kept demanding.
Now I see the damage, clear and vast,
A broken future, tied to my past.

(Bridge)
I never meant to tear you down,
Just stumbled through this lonely town.
But every step, a crumbling sound,
Left scars where only love was found.
Happy to see that you followed the right path,
Staying away from all my wrath.
All the undeserving pain that I ever caused you,
All the times my words cut right through.

At this point, I am just a ghost of the past,
Something that was never even supposed to last.
The empty words I said will forever echo in your head,
And I can't help but think that you wished I was just dead.
Your silence is sharp, it cuts right through me.
How can I accept that this is everything that we will ever be?
I am defeated, I just want to lay covered by dirt,
Shameful that I caused you to be so hurt.

(Outro)
The shame I carry...
Always with me...
Just a shadow...
Haunting me...

understanding [lyrics in desc.]

(Verse 1)
Maybe I was never the best bet for you to get involved,
Doesn't change the fact we were actually in love.
I always thought of you and how I made you feel,
Now I think it's time to move on from you and heal.
Maybe I made mistakes and said things that I shouldn't have,
I thought that you'd see through it and have my back.
The way you treat me is something I could never forget,
Looking back on what happened, no wonder you are upset.

(Chorus)
Maybe we were never meant to stay,
So much hurt along the way.
But I'm taking back my own control,
It's time for me to heal my soul.

(Verse 2)
Maybe I shouldn't have tried so much to get in your head,
All I've been thinking of lately is that I want to be dead.
Had to take benzos just so I can sleep peacefully,
Had to push you just so you'd treat me decently.
Maybe I shouldn't have fed into your mentality,
You could never see through my duality.
Said things like you were ready for us to grow together,
You've just used me because you couldn't find better.

(Chorus)
Maybe we were never meant to stay,
So much hurt along the way.
But I'm taking back my own control,
It's time for me to heal my soul.

(Verse 3)
Maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved with you either,
You broke me down, turned me into a full-time griever.
Messed with my head in a way only people I trust could,
Besides lessons, the time between us brought nothing good.
Maybe I'm just an insensitive asshole, I don't think what I do,
But I cannot deny anymore what you've put me through.
Mistakes were on both sides, even if I hurt you,
You act like you didn't also hurt me too.

(Chorus)
Maybe we were never meant to stay,
So much hurt along the way.
But I'm taking back my own control,
It's time for me to heal my soul.

(Bridge)
We built a fire, watched it burn,
Now only ashes, lessons learned.
A heavy price to understand,
I'm walking on, a different man.

(Verse 4)
Maybe I shouldn't feel like I want to see you again,
Maybe I should have more respect for myself and avoid the pain.
I chose you every time, put you above everyone else,
For some reason I accepted you even if you gave me less.
Maybe you were right, you don't want to do better and change,
The way you project yourself on me, I find that very strange.
I will never regret that I chose to love you,
But it is time that you reflected on the things you also do.

maybe [lyrics in desc.]

(Verse 1)
Found myself in broken pieces, not knowing who to blame,
Patterns that I've repeated, mistakes I've done the same.
Feel like I was lost, I've put out my own flame,
Looking back at what I did, now I feel so lame.
Lucky that I have around people that care,
People that accept me, that don't care what I wear.
To put effort is something I never learned how to do,
But that doesn't mean that I don't appreciate you.

(Chorus)
I walked through my own fire, burning away the shame,
Found clarity in the ashes, whispering a new name.
Yeah, this is my healing, a sunrise in my hand,
Finally standing tall, on my own promised land.

(Verse 2)
We all suffer, do mistakes,
We all have our own escapes.
But we learn and then move on,
They become memories, that now are gone.
Looking forward to see the dawn,
We keep fighting and hanging on.
People change, they are like rivers,
Just like feelings that are delivered.

(Chorus)
I walked through my own fire, burning away the shame,
Found clarity in the ashes, whispering a new name.
Yeah, this is my healing, a sunrise in my hand,
Finally standing tall, on my own promised land.

(Verse 3)
We all know what we truly need in life,
No one wants to hold onto a knife.
We let go of things that hurt us,
And heal ourselves of all the cuts.
I felt abandoned and on my own so many times,
I would feel just so alone sometimes.
Yet I was my only wall,
Would use to just waste time and stall.

(Chorus)
I walked through my own fire, burning away the shame,
Found clarity in the ashes, whispering a new name.
Yeah, this is my healing, a sunrise in my hand,
Finally standing tall, on my own promised land.

(Bridge)
We all know true needs, escape the knife's sting,
Let go of cuts, let new life sing.
Though "not enough" felt, deep in my core,
I've found my value, wanting so much more.
Now I found a way to do some good,
And I am doing it as best as I could.
The feeling of not being enough still haunts me,
A feeling that constantly taunts me.
But I've learned my worth, discovered who I am,
Nothing else matters, I couldn't give a damn.
There is so much more that I have to offer now,
I have people that appreciate me and I make proud.


promised land [lyrics in desc.]

(Chorus)
Remembering futures that just faded out,
My thoughts are wild, full of inner doubt.
It's just wreckage now, nothing truly whole,
No way to reach you, losing all control.
This burning ache inside, some I caused myself,
A quiet descends, like life put on a shelf.
Each bad decision pulls me lower down,
My head's scrambled, lost in this dark town.

(Verse 1)
Thinking of all the things we could have been,
All you wish for now is to not be seen.
Our love was strong, felt like a lucid dream,
Now all I wanna do is go out and scream.
So much pain that we brew so passionately,
Our hearts, now just some other casualties.
Words I speak can do no good anymore,
Wish I could call you on the phone instead of calling you a whore.

(Verse 2)
My words cut deep, no time to sleep,
When I lose all hope, feel like a sheep.
I pour a glass, then take a sip,
Then pop a benzo and talk with Peep.
Talk a lot, but words are not cheap,
I am just a creep.
Even if it's steep, I am not afraid to leap,
Feeling so weak and meek,
Just want to go on a bender for a whole week,
Then just stay home while I am fucking sick,
Because I can be just so fucking weak,
And sometimes I don't even want to think.

(Chorus)
Remembering futures that just faded out,
My thoughts are wild, full of inner doubt.
It's just wreckage now, nothing truly whole,
No way to reach you, losing all control.
This burning ache inside, some I caused myself,
A quiet descends, like life put on a shelf.
Each bad decision pulls me lower down,
My head's scrambled, lost in this dark town.

I met this girl that changed what I see,
She was part of my world, she's gotta flee.
Man, I don't know what's higher, me or my hopes,
It's so hard to see through these foggy scopes.


(Outro)
The echo of a scream, fades with the day,
Still chasing feelings, losing my own way.
This empty glass, these thoughts I can't outrun,
Just waiting for a dawn that never comes.



doubt [lyrics in desc.]

(Verse 1)
No real goal, just drifting 'round,
Searching for a soul, on hallowed ground.
Hoping to feel complete, profound,
Instead, in smoke and rolls, my bliss is found.
Everything I do, just a way to disguise,
All advice they gave, just deafened my eyes.
Easy to see their flaws, but hard to surmise,
The broken reflections within my own skies.

(Chorus)
If I could rewrite these moments, erase every scar,
Go back to the start, before we fell so far.
But the ink is all dry, the damage is done,
Just a hollow victory when the battle's been won.

(Verse 2)
The day I met her, felt finally whole,
She gave me all I needed, she saved my soul.
Now I just walk the streets, losing control,
Thinking how I treated you, played a cruel role.
Every word I used, the pain I spewed,
All the fights we had, like nothing new.
Now I wish everything I did, I could do with you,
Got a loose screw, stuck to you like glue.
I'll keep on pushing through,
Searching for the world I once knew,
Chasing after what I thought was true.

(Bridge)
This bed I made, a hell I can't escape,
Another hit to numb the cruel shape of my mistakes.
Chasing highs, but only finding hollow lows,
Wondering where a broken soul like mine goes.
Yeah, the mirror shows a stranger's eyes,
Reflecting all the truth behind the lies.

(Chorus)
If I could rewrite these moments, erase every scar,
Go back to the start, before we fell so far.
But the ink is all dry, the damage is done,
Just a hollow victory when the battle's been won.

(Outro)
(Fading out, perhaps with a melancholic beat or distant echo)
...Still searching... for that soul...
Lost in the smoke...
Yeah... forever lost...



hollow [lyrics in desc.]

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