First draft of the first half(?) of this track. A lot more to add (I think it will end up being around 8 minutes), a lot better production to do. Idk how to mix music so I’ve got to get someone who isn’t me to make it not sound like shit. Kind of just put this together in one night to get an idea of what I want it to end up sounding like. 

Lyrics:

I’m suffocating but at least I’m alone
Shedding the cracks in my skin but it runs to the bone
Please just tell me what I’m doing wrong
I do everything wrong

I’ve never met that wretched face in the glass
The stranger turns to me and takes off her mask
Her eyes are sunken and her hair is a mess
I couldn’t ask for less

Wilt (unfinished)

I’m working on this one in studio but it’ll have an official release and I’m impatient so here’s just a voice memo of me playing it on acoustic


Lyrics:

I’m catatonic lying here alone
Cold and paralyzed, frozen to the bone
Bullets cutting through my skin
Silver rivers call me and I jump right in

Cupping water in my hands
Shape it into something I can understand
Slips through impossible to mend
I feel it cold upon my skin

I lie in fields of roses, how could it be
Something so beautiful could only make me bleed
The thorns bite down on me; I wilt in harmony 
Inhale the thinning air till I no longer breathe

Greeted with familiar sound
The thunder whispers threats of taking to the ground
A virtue from a distance quickly turned a vice
There’s grace within destruction, it strikes twice

Watch the falling leaves
I could never be a forest evergreen
Taunting the end of all things
I am deciduous, I’m buried six feet deep
I am deciduous, I’m buried six feet deep
I am deciduous

Deciduous (acoustic demo)

First verse and chorus of a song I’m working on. Here are the lyrics so far:

Can’t catch the carbon we lost
We left it right there by your favorite tree
Counting what’s left of my bones
Do you do the same and think of me?

My lungs are collapsing, you stare at me gasping for air
And you’re all around me but I can’t find you anywhere

Carbon (unfinished demo)

Lyrics:

I’m still screaming for help
The way you hurt me was the fault of everyone else
And I stand along the roadside with cars coming toward me
I never told you how I thought about jumping

But I didn’t know if it would be easy, if it would be quick
If my body on the freeway would make you feel sick to your stomach
And you’d be so upset
And it makes sense that I’d save myself for something like that
But not for me

I like pretending she’s dead
That way she’s not the only thing in my head
But I saw her walking past me on her way to the show
I couldn’t move my legs I thought I was about to explode

And it would be easy, it would happen so quick
For you to leave just like last time, and it’s making me sick
To my stomach knowing that here I am
Waiting away counting the days for this to happen again
To me

You still find a way to blame me
You’ll do anything to keep your conscience clean
The world could crumble in your hands, I know mine did, you didn’t save me
And you’ll still find way to blame me

It must have been easy, for it to happen so quick
Standing tall among the ruins, does that make you sick
To your stomach, like it does to me 
You say the knife was one you borrowed but you’re watching me bleed
Out now, and that was so easy, it happened so quick
And it’s not like how I fantasized, but I hope you’re sick
To your stomach
I hope you feel sick

Sick (acoustic demo)

Lyrics:

Picking petals off of flowers, pleading your name
Lying by the phone for hours, beg me to stay
Sliced to the bone the first time, sad and masochistic mind
Convince myself that maybe I just like the pain

But you’re still wasted from your time away
I choke up pretending it doesn’t bother me
Did you think that I’d react? Did you think that I’d react?
I would if I could find the words to say

How long’s it gonna take for you to change your mind
Cause I’ll be knocking at your door till the end of time
Telling myself that it’s just you trying to get me jealous
The papercuts from your letter haven’t gone away

But you’re still wasted from your time away
I choke up pretending it doesn’t bother me
Did you think that I’d react? Did you think that I’d react?
I would if I could find the words to say

Papercuts (acoustic demo)

Lyrics:

Why’d you look at me that way
If you don't want to stay by my side
I freeze your gaze and replay
In my head over again a million times

It has to be me, I’m the only common thread
And I can’t seem to make it work right in my head
And you say it’s not my fault you didn’t stay
But I noticed the change as I drove you away

Now I’m dancing with a ghost
An echo of you when I held you so close
It always seemed I could melt into you
Until you drove me right back to myself

It has to be me, I’m the only common thread
And I can’t get that scene of you and me out my head
Made our bed, that little spot on the lawn
How we lay there together caught off guard by the dawn

Macy (acoustic demo)

Lyrics:

Why’d you look at me that way
If you don't want to stay by my side
I freeze your gaze and replay
In my head over again a million times

It has to be me, I’m the only common thread
And I can’t seem to make it work right in my head
And you say it’s not my fault you didn’t stay
But I noticed the change as I drove you away

Now I’m dancing with a ghost
An echo of you when you held me so close
It always seemed I could melt into you
Until you drove me right back to myself

It has to be me, I’m the only common thread
And I can’t get that scene of you and me out my head
Made our bed, that little spot on the lawn
How we lay there together caught off guard by the dawn

Macy (demo)

Lyrics: 

I’m stepping on glass that you left behind
And cut myself open for you just to waste my time
The person you made me i don’t recognize
So lonely and insecure, just to be by your side

You locked up your heart and swallowed the keys
Just once call me beautiful don’t break apart my soul please
I turned my whole world upside down to feel seen
But still I got caught in an endless in between

I’m sorry it’s my fault I ruined your day
I just wanted to know why you had to make me feel that way
I’m sorry I’m starting fights, acting insane
You’re right that I’ll never be her, and I’m the one to blame

You locked up your heart and swallowed the keys
I know that she’s beautiful, far more than I’ll ever be
I turned my whole world upside down to feel seen
But you couldn’t even get me a card when I turned nineteen

Easy (demo)

This song always destroys me so I thought I’d cover a minute or so of it. Just me in a room with a guitar on this one.

Amber Waves (Ethel Cain cover)

I updated this one lol see the better version here: https://on.soundcloud.com/oC8uiPwOH5ZZB3hqXw

Inbred x The Days (old mix)

Just a place to put unfinished work and demos and whatever else. My official stuff is here: https://bio.site/ellum and sometimes I make little remixes here: https://on.soundcloud.com/J2jQ7FmBta49q2UjjP

Ellum

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