Original version by The Cure written by Robert Smith, Michael Dempsey, and Lol Tolhurst.

You can check out my original music too.

Lyrics:

I would say I'm sorry if I thought that it would change your mind 
But I know that this time I have said too much, been too unkind 
 
I try to laugh about it, cover it all up with lies 
I try to laugh about it, hiding the tears in my eyes cause
 
Boys don't cry

I would break down at your feet and beg forgiveness, plead with you 
But I know that it's too late and now there's nothing I can do 

So I try to laugh about it, cover it all up with lies 
I try to laugh about it, hiding the tears in my eyes 

Cause boys don't cry
Boys don't cry 
 
Misjudged your limits 
Pushed you too far 
Took you for granted 
I thought that you needed me more 

Boys don't cry

Boys Don't Cry (Cover)

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3wTcckDs9kozmGVKu1vlSZ?si=1976d163d0be40df

Lyrics:

I write by candle-glow. 
I write of name and rose. 
I drown in blissful throes 
of un-mutual obsession. 

And you’ll never read 
the garlands, the wreaths 
I’ve drawn round your image. 
You’d never believe 
someone could be so silly.

I’m aware that I am boring, 
I can get why you ignore me. 
Oh, but nothing gets me going
like the thought of being ignored.
Oh, to know that I can’t have you, 
makes me want to write about you, 
and the pages overflow.

No, you’ll never know 
how this poem goes 
cause I’d never show you. 
How your eyes would roll 
at how I think I love you.

I’m aware that I am boring, 
I can get why you ignore me. 
Oh, but nothing gets me going 
like the thought of being ignored.

When it’s finished, 
I will burn the pages, 
their flame a replacement for the solace of your glow, 
which I’ll never call my own.

Credits:

River Williams - Writing / Production / Vocals / Guitar / Bass / Percussion 

Demián Cantú - Audio, Mixing and Mastering Engineer

Candleglow

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3o24jWCAFZu3RFRxVYvHC6?si=f9d54190e8074d5a

Album out on April 14th, 2023.

Lyrics:

Do you really expect for me to ask you for a dance
when you’ve got fire in your hands?
You’ve got fire in your hands.
I would like nothing more than to get closer but I can’t
cause you’ve got fire in your hands.

You’re scary, I cannot speak,
but wine will do it for me.
Should it say more than it should,
please don’t put the blame on me.

Editing sober what I wrote while drunk
makes me want to cut off my tongue.

Drunk, I forget it’s not good
to bring up literature.
You’ve only read one whole book
and you hate Holden Caulfield, well I guess you’ll hate me too.

Come Sunday, there will be sand in my mouth,
and a strong urge for writing but nothing about.
I think I can take two more Sundays but then
I’m taking the Hemingway out.

Tequila Mockingbird (Single Version)

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/2iO03M19EbzvSHkgjGp3tN?si=56e4e0edd9df48b3

Lyrics:

Sweet river boy,
when are you coming to pick me up? 
I’ve been waiting for so long.

Sweet river boy,
did I imagine you long ago? 
Are you a desperate hope?

Still I wait
in my immense,
empty world. 
My glacial, 
grayscale world.

Does no one 
even know 
I exist? 
River boy, 
come to me.

Shell Of A Lunar Shore

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7DEkiN1pEX47AbxDvAOBZR?si=8d5e34cbd1164b80

Lyrics: 

Down the hall from the entrance to the ballroom, there’s an elevator. 
I get in and press for the top floor.
I want to be as far above from everyone
and as close to the moon as possible.

I step out and find myself in another ballroom, 
this one completely empty
except for myself.

The carpeted floor blots out the sound of the music below.
The towering drapes keep the moonlight from pouring in through the giant windows. 
It seems like this room hasn’t been used in a long time.
I walk to the center.

I picture nights of summers past: 
the ballroom crowded, 
days of old,
the aura rose and gold.

Music and light, 
clashing perfumes, 
the taste of wine, 
the warmth of June.

Laughter and kisses emanate from every mouth, 
but I’m just a distant observer: 
invisible, inaudible,
a ghost from a different time
who does not belong.

I see a pretty redhead,
her eyes shine like the moon.
She speaks but out comes my own voice.
I notice that her face is Valerie’s,
and my mother’s,
and an amalgamation of every woman I’ve ever loved,
 of every redhead I’ve idealized,
everyone whose soul my eyes have dyed.
She’s not real,
never was, never will.

I come out of my stupor:
the ballroom is empty again,
the lights are dim again,
the sound of my breathing is all I can hear again.
I pull the drapes, look out the window:
the city lights are twinkling below.
The city is like her:
messy, convoluted, unappealing by day,
but tantalizingly beautiful when she becomes bejeweled at night. 
Those city lights look so warm.
I feel like everyone in the world is down there except for me.
I wish to be there too, though it was I who chose to come up here.

Now I turn my gaze upward,
and I remember that the moon doesn’t actually shine, 
it only bounces sunlight
off its dark, dead face.

The windows 
shatter into 
smithereens, 
casting 
shards of glass 
nowhere as 
piercing as the 
cold air 
that torrents in. 
I fall on 
my knees.

Oh, put your warm hands on me. I’m freezing. 
Won’t you put your warm hands on me? I’m freezing. 
Oh, put your warm hands on me. I’m freezing. 
Anybody put your hands on me. I’m freezing.

Penthouse Phantom

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0Fca0RLPprw95Sjyyzlw0r?si=692b179811004fb7

Lyrics:

Early and unannounced, 
defeated, I step out.
There’s something I must write about.

I thought I’d find you in- 
-side with the rest of them
but I’m sick of rummaging around.

It’s just impossible,
I feel like finding you
is literally reaching the moon.

Still I howl for you.

So, I’ll write about it, 
like I always do.
I know nothing else. 
I
don't
know
what
to...

...do you
live on the moon? 
Where else could I find you? 
Still I howl up at you.

Howl

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1kaguvp3Pl4dPlPddshUhT?si=5793e799ee6144f6

Lyrics:

Something’s wrong,
seems my common sense is gone. 
You’ve been on my mind
for too long.

I want you. 
How I want you. 
But I heard
he wants you too.

So, I stayed up all night 
writing verses all about your eyes, 
likening them to the stars in the sky 
and cliché shit like that.

Oh my God,
I am writhing at the thought 
of stronger arms 
carrying you off.

So, I stayed up all night 
writing verses all about your eyes, 
likening them to the stars in the sky 
and cliché shit like that.

To endure 
the sight of you,
I must make you want me too. 
To make up
for lack of looks,
I must croon.

So, I stayed up all night 
writing verses all about your eyes, 
likening them to the stars in the sky 
and cliché shit like that.

Melancholera

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1Aes9ueAQxitbyWX1PugDS?si=90ad38eddcd0497b

Lyrics:

Oh, life is unbearable for me.
I’m waiting for lightning to
come down from the sky and destroy me since you
have
left, taking
my heart as a trophy.
Now I will forever be
an empty shell at your feet.

Why would I want my arms if not to hold you? 
Why would I want my eyes but to behold you? 
I’d surrender my whole life
to be by your side.

I see
no point. 
This ball is boring,
I can’t endure it dry.
I’ll find
no joy
upon the dancefloor, 
can’t take your hands in mine.

Why would I want my arms if not to hold you? 
Why would I want my eyes but to behold you? 
I’d surrender my whole life
to be by your side.

Why would I want my heart if not to love you? 
What good’s the moon for but to be above you? 
Should I see you one more time,
I might fucking die.

I Have A Thing For Redheads

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/0VacAVqcIAwP7fliViaRwo?si=8816a88cb9e34835

Lyrics:

Do you really expect for me to ask you for a dance 
when you’ve got fire in your hands?
You’ve got fire in your hands.
I would like nothing more than to get closer but I can’t 
cause you’ve got fire in your hands.

You’re scary, I cannot speak, 
but wine will do it for me. 
Should it say more than it should, 
please don’t put the blame on me.

Editing sober what I wrote while drunk 
makes me want to cut off my tongue.

Drunk, I forget it’s not good
to bring up literature.
You’ve only read one whole book
and you hate Holden Caulfield, well I guess you’ll hate me too.

Come Sunday, there will be sand in my mouth, 
and a strong urge for writing but nothing about. 
I think I can take two more Sundays but then 
I’m taking the Hemingway out.

Tequila Mockingbird

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/47q9EDR6qobZ0CnHndXOQG?si=7273c89cfec442cc

Lyrics: 

Light glimmers from the cutlery,
from the women’s necks, and the women’s wrists.
The glimmer glows from the floral flux and the crystal clink.
It glimmers most from my yearning eyes as my date sits down and she looks at me.

I wonder why she holds her cigarette like she’s in a movie scene, 
Grayscale Hollywood, the Golden Age.
I bet she pictures cameras on her all day everyday.
And why would any camera be aimed at any other? 
Everything’s in black-and-white but she’s in Technicolor. 
Oh my, oh God, too late does it occur
that I’ve been staring for too long
and I haven’t said a word.

Turns out talking to her is like unwittingly biting into one of those decorative plastic fruits. 
(Break, eager teeth.)
I also learn her hair is dyed: she was never a redhead, just a mortal brunette like me.
And I begin to question my own authenticity,
and to wonder why I forced myself to leave the house. 
But tonight, I will feign a smile and a laugh,
for my self-worth rides on how good a time she has.

And if I get drunk,
would that brighten things?
Or will I end up
on the floor again,
to wake up half-dead, cursing myself 
and the things I probably said? 
Or did?
I guess I’m willing to take the risk.

We try the wine, 
I turn to see her. 
I find it sweet, 
she finds it bitter.

She has this face,
it says outright: 
I’m a mere black blotch 
in her lilac light.

I ask her for a dance, she says she’d rather not.
She lets ash fall from her hand onto the tablecloth. 
She seems to be unheeding when faced with fragile things. 
She’d probably catch a butterfly and strip it of its wings.

I look around the ballroom and past nights spring up. 
Weddings I went to with Valerie plague my memory: 
back when she was my girl, back when I was loved. 
My shirt is too tight and my bowtie is killing me, 
what can I do but choke up?

And like Valerie, 
she’s grown bored of me 
and fond of a man
on a nearby seat.

And I take another swig.

Glimmering Glow

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7MgPkjemmtWAxRN8CMs7xA?si=d04e306b9ae74ddf

Lyrics:

Small cherubs blow 
their seashell horns. 
A holy roar 
your herald.

Your auburn glow, 
your floral voice, 
they call me on.

The sight of petals trails your step. 
I don’t believe we’ve ever met.

Won’t you grant me your velvet hand? 
I’d die to know a fraction of your warmth.

The lights above dance serpentine. 
Your aura a golden ring.

She Appears in Lilac

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/2JurJw016trkkV8AeAdTvd?si=b69a73809e984938

Lyrics:

Sweet silver moon,
I was born to gaze at you. 
All the way up there, 
are you lonely too?

Sweet silver moon, 
I’m reaching you soon. 
Somehow
I’ll get
to you.

Oh, holy pearl,
I know somewhere in the world
there’s your human incarnation waiting for me to find her.

Our eyes would meet, 
our hands would touch, 
I’d spin you round, 
we’d kick stardust about 
like this...

To the blackest
depths of space,
every corner becomes lightened by your face. 
My eyes widen
as we dance,
I have realized there’s an angel in my arms. 
No, “angel” is not the word,
no words will work.
Your name would.

But I still don’t know it.

Oh, my insides are fluttering, 
what if she’s the one
to replace the one I miss- 
-mistook for the one? 
I’m tapping my feet, 
checking the clock,
on a
blind date, 
couple hours ‘til prom...

Eyes Ever Skyward

original song by Kanye West and John Mayer

Bittersweet Poetry [cover]

This is a re-recording of an old song from 2020.

Production, Mixing, Mastering, Drums & Synths by Manny Montoya https://www.instagram.com/elmannymontoya?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==

Everything else by me. 

Recorded at Dark Side Studio https://www.instagram.com/drkside.studio?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igsh=ZDNlZDc0MzIxNw==



LYRICS:

We used to watch this view
‘til it would get too cold.
It’s been a while and
now I watch it alone.

You’ve got your life and you’re
doing things with it.
I’ve stayed behind, using memory 
to cope.

Cause I,
I can’t believe
what I am seeing.

These two eyes,
they must
be working wrong,
cause of all people, you’re
by his side.

He’s just the type you’d hate,
so now I cannot tell 
what’s on your mind,
it’s like you’re someone else.

Cause I,
I can’t believe
what I’m seeing.
These two eyes,
they must
be working wrong,
cause of all people, you’re
by his side.

How come we were never more than friends
but you gave your heart to him? 
He couldn’t possibly know you
half as well as i do. 

I,
I can’t believe
what I’m seeing.
These two eyes,
they must
be working wrong,
cause of all people, you’re
by his side.

Time Heals (Almost) Everything [Studio Version]

i forget this place when you're next to me
cause your breath feels like the ocean breeze
slowly blowing me away

let me get to you with all these stupid words,
see, i've been struck and slowly going crazier

it's hysterical,
the thought of it all,
baby you don't know
you're a miracle

you won't be alone
baby just as long
as you keep breathing fire into my lungs

wait, oh no,
don't go,
oh no,
i'm not just saying it, don't go

the stone-cold voice of reason says to love you not
but my rushing blood reminds me i don't give a fuck 

love has come for us,
it's ridiculous,
and that look that's in your eyes is dangerous

still i cant shake off this urgency to hold you close till we both blow up

wait, oh no 
don't go,
oh no,
i know i sound like a liar but, girl you turn me inside out,
you make my heart spill out,
you're making me crazy

it's hysterical,
the thought of it all,
baby you don't know
you're a miracle

oh no,
don't go,
you're a miracle

Sweet Nothings

you'd laugh at me 
your eyes would roll
but
i want to be your...
i want to be your...

you'd never guess
you'll never know
i want to be your boy

you wrote your name on my hand for no reason
i haven't washed it since
i caught a whiff of reciprocity and
i haven't slept a wink

but 
you're out of my league
i'm nothing of note
still
i want to be your...
i want to be yours

so i'll confess
clichés and all 
i want to be your boy

Self-Portrait, 2018

i want to be your boy

alone

Flower Moon (Vampire Weekend Cover)

Some (Steve Lacy Cover)

leaving your house late at night driving slow

I already 
miss you 
and the cres-
-cent moon 

tattooed on your forearm you told the backstory to 

when we
held hands 
for the 
first time 

I’m leaving your house and it makes me so blue,
I don’t want to go back to the gloom of my room
I’m leaving your house and it makes me so blue,
I just hope that I’ll be back soon

out on the street, not a soul but my own 
and I want to 
hug you

but you stayed and kept all that warmth to yourself in your 
bedroom
so cruel

I’m taking the long way going like 22
cause I know at home there’s nothing better to do,
I’m not in your house and it makes me so blue
but I know that I’ll be back soon

can you get your mom to adopt me?
would it be so hard? 
take me in and then we won’t have to
spend our nights apart 

leaving your house late at night driving slow, 
I already miss you so

Comfy Girlfriend Sounds

Leaving Your House

this is a cover. it was originally written by Irving Berlin and this is my version.

Cheek to Cheek

under rustling dark green we sat, 
I on a chair and her on my lap, 
her weight so delightfully crushing my chest, 
and three shiba-inus scratching at my legs.

there on the terrace at my girl’s,
I really can’t describe the peace I felt.

beyond her trees, you could see the city silently twinkling, way below us,
and I felt like I was sitting on the throne of the earth.
about a million people doing whatever they do, 
and us watching from above,
superior to them cause we were in love. 

and the sight of the city awoke in us a dread for the future, and that of the human race.
that sight reminded us of all the shit we’d read on the news every day.

me and my girl,
we wondered if it would be wrong to bring a child into this doomed world
but I felt like, no matter how ardently the world would come to burn, it’d be alright 
as long as me and my girl could look down on it from her terrace at night.

it was the very last night of summer vacation, 
the sunday of sundays,
and an unspeakably painful nostalgic feeling suddenly assaulted me.
I was bewildered, and hopeless, because I had followed the recipe 
for happiness but the taste on my tongue was that of despair and misery.

I kept my sadness to myself
and I felt 
like I betrayed my girl
because we were both outwardly smiling, listening to a happy song,
and we had agreed to tell each other if ever something was wrong.

it was august something
and the heat was hellish,
we had a big fan and a candle to ward off mosquitoes, 
neither worked.

we listened to a mediocre album that had just come out.
I wondered when the next generation-definer would be dropped.
will it be frank again? we both love blonde.

or what if my “generation” is past being defined?
and I’m too old to be thinking bout music all the time? 
and I should shush and work to prove my worth.

but then, she shifted a bit in her seat (my lap)
and lustful thoughts came to the rescue, overthrowing introspection.

Aranjuez

summertime 
in your eyes,
you and I 
cradling in the peach-colored sky 

but we know
we
can’t
keep 
staying here in the clouds

school is starting again soon,
we have to come down

but I feel, 
I can feel
summertime when you’re near

so stay by me all year

summer dear, my girl won’t let you disappear 

and then 
green will bloom still,
cups fill,
sun will
rise

and then
click heels over the hills,
moon will
shine

cause I feel,
I can feel
summertime when you’re near

so I’ll keep you all year 

yeah I feel, 
yeah I feel
summertime when you’re near

can 
you 
keep 
that
golden heat
enveloping me?

oh and can
you 
keep 
me
under the rose rays you mercifully let fall on me

Peach Dusk / August

we used to watch this view
till it would get too cold 
it’s been a while and now I watch it
alone

you’ve got your life and you’re 
doing things with it
I’ve stayed behind
using memory to cope

cause I
I can’t believe
what I am seeing,
these two eyes

they must 
be working wrong
cause of all people you’re by his side

how come we were never more than friends
but he got to jump that fence?
he couldn’t possibly know you
half as well as I do 

how
we used to be,
you’d hear me singing, I’d 
see you cry

did you 
forget the time
you told your secrets, 
I told mine

I 
I can’t believe
what I am seeing,
these two eyes

they must 
be working wrong
cause of all people you’re by his side

Kamikaze Prom Night

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