Official Releases

Fragments

Ocean Song (demo)

Written by Autumn Luz and Sarun Charumilind
Arranged by Samwe and Autumn Luz
Vocals and keys by Autumn Luz
Guitars by Samwe and AfterAudio
Bass by AfterAudio
Drums performed by David Joseph
Vocal production and song mixing by Samantha Rosen at Milkboy Studios
Mastering by Ryan Schwabe

Artwork by Zave Smith

Speed

Written by Autumn Luz
Composed, arranged, and produced by Autumn Luz and Samwe
Vocals, keys, and igniters by Autumn Luz
Guitars and kalimba by Samwe
Bass by Mitch Beer
Vocal production and song mixing by Samantha Rosen at Milkboy Studios
Mastering by Ryan Schwabe
Artwork by Zave Smith

Heat

Moments (voice memo demo]

Composition and production by Autumn Luz and Samwe
Lyrics and vocals by Autumn Luz
Arrangement and guitars by Samwe
Cello performance by Leo Eguchi
Keys composed by Autumn Luz, arranged by Samwe, and performed by Autumn Luz, Samwe, and Sarun Charumilind
Bass by Mitch Beer
Drums by Paul McGonagle
Vocal production and song mixing by Samantha Rosen
Mastered by Ryan Schwabe

King of Promises

Composition and production by Autumn Luz and Samwe
Lyrics and vocals by Autumn Luz
Arrangement and guitar performance by Samwe
Bass by Mitch Beer
Timpani and percussion by Germán Domador
Drums by Paul McGonagle
Vocal production and song mixing by Samantha Rosen
Mastered by Ryan Schwabe

Bone Marrow

Composition and production by Autumn Luz and Samwe
Lyrics and vocals by Autumn Luz
Arrangement and guitar performance by Samwe
Bass by Mitch Beer
Piano performance by Sarun Charumilind
Drums by Paul McGonagle
Vocal production and song mixing by Samantha Rosen
Mastered by Ryan Schwabe

(Sweet) Nothing

Composition and production by Autumn Luz and Samwe
Lyrics and vocals by Autumn Luz
Arrangement and guitar performance by Samwe
Drums by Paul McGonagle
Bass by Mitch Beer
Vocal production and song mixing by Samantha Rosen
Mastered by Ryan Schwabe

Shadow Man

Composition and production by Autumn Luz and Samwe
Lyrics and vocals by Autumn Luz
Arrangement, keys, and guitars by Samwe
Backing vocal performance by Autumn Luz and Samwe
Drums by Paul McGonagle
Bass by Mitch Beer
Vocal production and song mixing by Samantha Rosen
Mastered by Ryan Schwabe

Pang

Minced meat (voice memo demo)

sh*tty little voice memo to cross this one off the list

Waiting for Rain (voice memo demo)

Feathered Thing (voice memo demo)

you didn't sleep well last night, from booze, or your brain, or the need to get laid
your porous boundaries hide out of our gaze behind fences you made
I'll back away when you fail this time. I try to remember it wasn't all a lie.
I finally have all of you and there's no room for me in your arms tonight.

I want irises and this is alyssum
I'll always find your lips in the dark, but only when you want me to kiss them
Beware: I am likely to wander off. If you stay in place then we'll have to pause.
Different kindnesses, if you listen. Take these irises and give me alyssum.

I woke up in the dark today, but it was light outside
I only see shadows at play, but I know love's there, behind the blind
I've been thinking a lot about Orpheus. I'm Eurydice and the siren
I never meant to be torturous, and he'll always look behind him

Nothing is forever, but some things never disappear. And I love the light here.

But I want irises, and this is alyssum
I always find your lips in the dark, but only when you want me to kiss them.
I'll be back, but I'm likely to wander off
If you stay my sway, we won't have to pause
Different kindnesses, if you listen
Take these irises and give me alyssum

Alyssum alyssum alyssum alyssum
Alyssum alyssum alyssum alyssum

Irises and Alyssum (voice memo demo)

Neptune
I can't untune into you
float off with these notes on the wind
and always return as the tide's coming in

||:When you love the water it can wash you away
And I keep loving harder. I promise to stay:||

Neptune
detune me from you
or play me the notes you've always wanted to
bring me your dreams, bring life to the moon
bring light to our lives and I'll make it true

It's ok when the current takes you away
I watch you shimmer, devour, and sway
I stand on the warm sand
I'll hold it for you and steady your hand

||:When you love the water it can wash you away
And I keep loving harder. I promise to stay:||

Neptune (voice memo demo)

I never cried when you left
I only cried when you became someone I'd never met
He took you away, forever, I guess
Guesses are all that I have left

I build my quilt of compliments 
to protect me from his defense
Shield me from the things he did 
and does, and all he left me with 
My empty hands are stained with his 
strained tears of professed love for me
I have nothing to say to him, 
except when my heart starts to bleed

No one ever hurt me like this
No one ever knocked me down and left me like you did
Holding a pile of questions, overflowing from my open hands
Washing out your love letters I’d kept on my nightstand 

My empty hands are stained with his 
strained tears of professed love for me
I have nothing to say to him, 
except when my heart starts to bleed
I hope you miss me terribly 
every day that you still breathe
I know you do, you always did 
and now I'm gone, you burned the bridge

I want you to know 
I'm still having nightmares 
'cause you hit me right where 
my wound was still healing
And even if it hadn't been so raw
you hit me so hard 
it would have opened up
My skin anyway
And left my insides on display 
A bloody pulp left out for flies
Abandoned by your fruitless lies

You used to call me dear one
I was always your listening ear one 
But you can't articulate the truths you paint
Can't see the knife held in your hand or hear the scrape

Dear John (voice memo demo)

Distance distorts the music we make 
As it stretches longer the tunes lose their shape

At this time last year 
You were almost here
When the hydrangea bloom
Will you be in my room again?

Distance distorts the music we make 
As it stretches longer the tunes lose their shape

But I know that when I show up
You will grab me in a hug
That lifts me a foot off the ground
And suddenly my doubts are drowned by 
radiant emanating gaze
that permeates my every place
and everything we ever were 
that never ended when we turned 
around

I think of the things you will know someday
secrets kept underneath sometimes haunt and decay
But ours grow and take shape
Then clouds materialize 
and pass by my third eye
'til the Pisces moon disseminates and brings the rain
It knows I still want to hold your heart again

But I know that when I show up
You will grab me in a hug
That lifts me a foot off the ground
And suddenly my doubts are drowned by 
radiant emanating gaze
that permeates my every place
and everything we ever were 
that never ended when we turned 
around

When We Turned Around (voice memo demo)

I wrote a cowboy song on the piano (and then sang it poorly)

Traveling West (voice memo demo)

I sat on this composition for a couple years waiting for "the rest of it" to come. Finally realized it's the prelude to The Wound You Keep

Silence (Prelude to The Wound) (voice memo demo)

Sick (voice memo demo)

Framed (voice memo demo)

you asked me to visit
i flew across the country
you ignored me for half a week
then said you were sorry
you already knew it wasn't ok
so i didn't have anything to say

now i'm putting the explosions back into the bombs
sending all the smoke back to where it came from
i'm willing the blood back into the veins
and the bones to reset, and erasing the pain
but the ghosts of you will keep popping up from
various wounds as they start to see daylight again

you said you wanted me to sleep in your bed
then ignored me completely as you pet the cat instead
i hid my tears, took my pillow and went
to cry alone on the couch until I could mend


now i'm putting the explosions back into the bombs
sending all the smoke back to where it came from
i'm willing the blood back into the veins
and the bones to reset, and erasing the pain
but the ghosts of you will keep popping up from
various wounds as they start to see daylight again

you said you were broken inside from your past
and you couldn't love like you did when you had more to give
'cause everything's crumbling down
but I know that you love other women somehow


now i'm putting the explosions back into the bombs
sending all the smoke back to where it came from
i'm willing the blood back into the veins
and the bones to reset, and erasing the pain
but the ghosts of you will keep popping up from
various wounds as they start to see daylight again

Palimpsest (voice memo demo)

first song I ever wrote on a guitar... performed live for you on the piano :) That sigh at the end is actually about the ice cream truck

Endpiece (voice memo demo)

(photo by Joe Kennaley, 2006)

Sometimes you want to run when you know it's not time to give up
and I want to know how to know when it's really time to 
run, and I have been learning not to
but I walked, 'cause I'm learning when to walk away 
for our sanity's sake
'cause I can't help you and you stay to far away
and I know you can't help it, but
you keep on running and running and running away

I'm waiting for the blood to come. I'm still frozen from the stun.
You're a wild animal who doesn't understand
Of course you're scared of helping human hands
But I don't think I can protect myself from your fangs
and when I asked if you wanted me to leave, you said nothing

it wasn't smoke signals I sent into the air. I sent up a million flares,
a bullhorn, and a fire alarm, and, in the end, a napalm bomb
but I never screamed because you couldn't hear me
you pushed me out when you didn't want me to leave

sometimes you want to run when you know it's not time to give up 
and I want to know how to know when it's really time to
run, and I have been learning not to, but I walked
'cause I'm learning when to walk away, for our sanity's sake
and I can't help you 'cause you stay to far away
and I know you can't help it, but you won't stop running and running and running away

I been home for a week and half. deep in my heart I knew it wouldn't last.
I imagine showing up again, 'cause I love you more than anything
and you never said no or asked me to leave, 
and you cried when I left, and you couldn't speak
and I know you would do just about anything
but I left to protect you, and in the end, me.

Autumn Luz

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