H.E.R space

In today’s episode Terri and Dom continue the conversation started in last week’s episode this time focusing on goal setting and overcoming procrastination. We all have been guilty of procrastination and Terri lets us in on when she realized she had to stop procrastinating to help reach her goals. What’s keeping you from following through and being accountable? They ask us, “what does try really mean?” and how does that affect our accomplishment of our goals. Then Terri and Dom use real life and personal examples to walk us through using SMART goals to get things done. As always, they give us some other invaluable “Pro tips and Game Changers”. Be sure to log on to the website to check out the goal setting worksheet that will put you on the path to achieving your dreams.   Quote of the Day: “I used to want the words ‘She tried’ on my tombstone. Now I want ‘She did it’.” – Katherine Dunham &nbsp; Takeaways: SMART GOALS  Specific Measurable Achievable Results-focused Time-bound  &nbsp; Resources Mentioned:  Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today Goal Mapping Workbook &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

Season 1- Episode 3:  How to Overcome Procrastination and Make Progress Fast

Terri is scrolling down her social media timeline and noticed everyone else’s life was lit while hers seemed stagnant. She felt overwhelmed instead of inspired. Dr. Dom reminds Terri of her #BlackGirlMagic but noted a bigger issue...what happens when we don’t reach certain adulting milestones? We tend to engage in negative social comparison (your day 1) based on the highlights of someone else’s life (their day 100). We let other people tell us what we should focus on even if it’s not bringing us fulfillment. Dr. Dom and Terri point out some of the milestones many of us are expected to achieve (the good, the hard, the annoying, the fun) and the strategies we can utilize to be comfortable in our own path. Find your fire and make your own life LIT! Quote of the Day: "Don’t set sail on someone else’s star." - African proverb &nbsp;Takeaways:  Your life is yours to create. It won’t look like anyone else’s and that’s okay. Appreciate the good things happening to you in the moment  Revisit Your Why &amp; Your Master Plan Don’t Despise the Days of Small Beginnings Realize Why Successful Black Women Should Be Celebrated Motivate Yourself &amp; Create a Game Plan   4 Ways to Stay Motivated When Everyone Else’s Life is Lit  &nbsp; "Where you will sit when you are old shows where you stood in youth." — Yoruba proverb &nbsp; Resources Mentioned: Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today Goal Mapping Workbook &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

S1E5: Adulting Woes: When Everyone's Life is LIT and You Feel Stagnant

Ever wonder, “How did I get here? I’m not as good as everyone else here. What’s going to happen to me when they find out I’m not as smart as them?” If you answered, “yes” then chances are you have experienced Impostor Phenomenon or Imposter Syndrome. This experience was initially coined to describe the experiences of White women who believed their achievements were a result of happenstance; lived in fear of being taken as a fraud; and setting sometimes unrealistic high standards of achievement. This syndrome may be more exacerbated in people of color, particularly women, who often receive societal messages of not belonging or not good enough. &nbsp;(Cokely, K., et. al., 2013). &nbsp; In this week’s episode, join Dom and Terri as they discuss Imposter Syndrome/Impostor Phenomenon, its effects on our well-being and ways to combat it. Terri begins with a story and unintentionally ends up “on the couch” with Dr. Dom who challenges Terri to re-examine how she describes herself. Keep listening and you’ll get tips (through Dom and Terri’s own experiences) on how to check yourself and remind yourself that you are exactly where you are supposed to be.  Quote of the Day: “At the end of the day, remember this: You are here for a reason. In this job, your business, your life, you are worthy. You are better than you think you are. You are smarter than you think you are. You know more than you give yourself credit for. Remember that. Remind yourself as often as you need to.” - Megan Dalla-Camina &nbsp; Takeaways: Ways to Conquer Imposter Syndrome/Impostor Phenomenon:  Be realistic about your strengths and weaknesses Alter your narrative/Reframe your thinking Celebrate your accomplishments Recognize these feelings are normal Access your support system   Resources:  Clance, P.R. (1985). The impostor phenomenon: Overcoming the fear that haunts your success (p. 25). Atlanta: Peachtree Publishers. Cokely, K., McClain, S., Enciso, A., Martinez, M. (2013). An examination of the impact of minority status stress and impostor feelings on the mental health of diverse ethnic minority college students. Journal of multicultural counseling and development, 41, 82-95. Craig, L. (2018). Are you suffering from imposter syndrome? Ways to identify and deal with feelings of self-doubt in grad school.  https://www.apa.org/science/about/psa/2018/09/imposter-syndrome.aspx Robinson, A. (2017). Overcoming imposter syndrome. How to stop feeling like a fraud.  https://www.apadivisions.org/division-28/publications/newsletters/psychopharmacology/2017/11/imposter-syndrome.aspx?_ga=2.218253150.610534608.1538685330-364524485.1533165585 Weir, K. (2013). Feel like a fraud? https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2013/11/fraud.aspx  &nbsp;  Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook:  @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

S1E12: Imposter Syndrome: How to Deal When You Feel You Don't Belong

We all know what it feels like when someone violates our boundaries but how do we know when we are the boundary violator? Have you ever... offered unsolicited advice? Gossiped? Said what you would do if you were in someone’s situation? Asked personal questions? Interrupted someone in the middle of a conversation? Touched someone’s hair? Touched someone on the shoulder? Asked a coworker where they lived? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you, like most of us, have been a boundary violator. In today’s episode, Terri and Dom take us through multiple situations (including current events from pop culture and a subscriber question) in which we may be unintentionally invading someone’s personal space and offer us tips on how to navigate those situations. &nbsp; Quote of the Day: "R-E-S-P-E-C-T...find out what it means to me!” -&nbsp;The Queen, Aretha Franklin &nbsp; Takeaways: What to do if we violate the boundaries of others  Apologize Be willing to listen Don’t take offense Ask for permission  &nbsp; Resources:  Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook:  @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

S1E13: Boundary Violations You Might Be Crossing That Are Impacting Your Relationships

In today’s episode we’re diving into a topic that’s taboo for many but oh so necessary to a fulfilling and joyful existence...S-E-X. Joining Terri and Dom is the first of many expert guests in H.E.R Space. &nbsp;Eliza Boquin, is a licensed Marriage &amp; Family Therapist, Relationship Therapist, and Sexuality Expert. She’s the owner, founder, and primary psychotherapist of The Flow and Ease Healing Center and specializes in working with relationship &amp; sexuality challenges. But wait, there’s more... she’s also the Co-founder of Melanin and Mental Health and co-host on the podcast, Between Sessions. In her work Eliza helps people heal from shame &amp; trauma so they can have healthier, pleasure-filled, mutually-satisfying relationships…. Tune in for all the “wow” moments and a few other special surprises! &nbsp; Quote of the Day: “Let’s talk about sex baby. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Let’s talk about sex.”- Salt N Pepa &nbsp; Takeaways: For more information on how to heal from trauma, where to find Eliza and more information on sex, please check out the videos, books,&nbsp;and websites below: Dr. Peter Levine explains trauma, sexual trauma, and somatic experiencing (extended video) (short video)  Courage to Heal Book and Workbook  Come As You Are Flow and Ease Healing &nbsp; Resources: Melanin and Mental Health  Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook:  @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

S2E1: Let's Talk About Sex with Eliza Boquin

Research has shown that there can be healing in humor. Belly laughs from way down deep can be so good for our souls. Lady, when was the last time you laughed? Not that polite laugh, but the real authentic one. When was the last time you tapped into your imagination and chaired the fun ministry? With so much sadness and seriousness, Terri and Dom take a break from the heaviness to have a lighthearted episode telling some corny jokes and share some ways in which they tap into their inner child. Join them as they also discuss happiness- what it looks like, some of the barriers to achieving it, and how to tap into it. What are the ways in which you get in touch with your inner child? Make sure to do one of those activities this week and share with us via pics and videos on social media. &nbsp; Quote of the Day: “Growing up is acting less childish and being more child-like." -Lizzo &nbsp; Takeaways: Tap into your inner child and share with us on social media https://www.happify.com/hd/happiness-by-the-numbers/ &nbsp; Resources: Melanin and Mental Health  Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook:  @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

S2E2: Play-Deprivation: What to Do When Fun Is Not Your Ministry

Lady, you are ENOUGH. Let that sink in. Say it out loud. “I AM ENOUGH.” Now take a deep breath in, slowly let it out and get ready to dive into today’s episode. This week Dom and Terri discuss the narratives that reverberate in our brains that influence our confidence and self-esteem. Our confidence is situational and subjective. It's also different from self-esteem and both may fluctuate with the various phases of our lives. Terri and Dom share their self-esteem and confidence journeys with Terri taking us back to turbulent adolescent middle school years while Dom goes allllllll the way back to kindergarten. Dom then offers us some tips on how to improve our self-esteem and confidence and Terri testifies to the effectiveness. What has been your journey towards your glow-up? Or are you (like most of us) still in progress? Be sure to step into H.E.R Space and share your story. &nbsp; Quote of the Day: “I need to see my own beauty and to continue to be reminded that I am enough, that I am worthy of love without effort, that I am beautiful, that the texture of my hair and that the shape of my curves, the size of my lips, the color of my skin, and the feelings that I have are all worthy and okay.” - Tracee Ellis Ross &nbsp; Takeaways:  Identify your strengths   Feed yourself a positive narrative   Get a win and celebrate it   Be compassionate with yourself  &nbsp;&nbsp; What Is Confidence? And How YOU Can Get More!-  http://mochagirlspitstop.com/what-is-confidence-and-how-you-can-get-more/ &nbsp; 3 confidence boosters for that time of the month-  http://mochagirlspitstop.com/3-confidence-boosters-for-that-time-of-the-month/ &nbsp; 2 Things Every Woman Should Start Doing to Boost Confidence &amp; Self-Esteem-  http://mochagirlspitstop.com/2-things-every-woman-start-boost-confidence-self-esteem/ &nbsp; Resources: Melanin and Mental Health  Therapy for Black Girls Psychology Today &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook:  @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com

S2E3: Why You Might Be Struggling to Gain Confidence

Assertiveness. When do you use your voice? How do you use your voice? What does it look like when you assert yourself? Where did you learn to use your voice? The answers to each of those questions gives you insight into how you express assertiveness. If you have listened to previous episodes on boundary setting and confidence then this week’s topic will add to your arsenal of being a woman living in authenticity. Terri and Dom will explore examples of assertiveness and also distinguish from assertiveness, aggressiveness, passiveness, and passive-aggressiveness. Asserting yourself may require risk but it will benefit you and everyone around you in the end. Be sure to scroll down to learn how to navigate situations that require assertiveness.&nbsp; Quote of the Day: "I think of the next girl who is going to come along who looks like me, and I hope, 'Maybe, just maybe, my voice will help her.'"&nbsp;-Serena Williams Helpful resources mentioned: Tips to improve assertiveness  identify the behavior; the impact; your feelings and what you want changed use "I" statements speak loudly and clearly avoiding pauses and "ums" own what you need aim for positivity and collaboration  https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a28209579/serena-williams-us-open-2018-essay/&nbsp; From Psychology Today: "Assertiveness is a social skill that relies heavily on effective communication, while simultaneously respecting the thoughts and wishes of others. People who are assertive clearly and respectfully communicate their wants, needs, positions, and boundaries to others. There’s no question of where they stand, no matter what the topic. From a cognitive standpoint, assertive people experience fewer anxious thoughts, even when under stress. From a behavioral standpoint, assertive people are firm without being rude. They react to positive and negative emotions without becoming aggressive or resorting to passivity. Individuals who are high in assertiveness don't shy away from defending their points of view or goals, or from trying to influence others to see their side. They are also open to both compliments and constructive criticism. Assertiveness is often associated with higher self-esteem and confidence. People can improve their assertiveness through practical exercises and experience." &nbsp; https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/black-women-leaders-approved-for-assertiveness-in-the-workplace.html

S3E5: How To Become More Assertive (And Why It's Important)

In a world that encourages and supports engaging with others on a constant basis, is there understanding for those of us that prefer to be alone? When you hear the word introvert how much does this describe you? Before you make that decision listen in as Dom dispels the myth of equating an introvert with shyness and answers whether social anxiety and introversion are equals. When, where and how you derive your energy clues you in to your introversion status. Not sure how that really applies to you? Terri and Dom will explain what the introversion/extroversion spectrum looks like and provide examples from their lives of where they fall on the continuum. Lady, you think you know Terri and Dom, but you might be surprised by how they rate their level of introversion. Stay tuned for information that you can reference for later use and tips on how to navigate being an introvert in an extroverted world. If you are more extroverted, this episode will help you understand your introverted sisters and remind you to not dim your light for the comfort of others. We are dynamic and varied in how we show up in this space. There. Is. Room. For. All. Of. Us. &nbsp; Resources: Melanin and Mental Health Therapy for Black Girls&nbsp; Psychology Today &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook: @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com H.E.R Space Sanctuary: https://www.facebook.com/groups/herspacesanctuary/

S3E6: How to Thrive as an Introvert in a World Built for Extroverts

Lady, what were you taught about sexuality and sensuality? Are you ready to relearn what you thought you knew? This week Terri and Dom are joined by dynamic sister duo Breezy and Bobbi (the founders of Free the Cheeks) and they take us to Twerk Church. This discussion dives into what’s really up with what women are taught about sex and sensuality. 

A lot of us were taught about respectability politics and socialized into participating in the patriarchy based on the traumas of our ancestors. Today the ladies name the ways that we can subvert the patriarchy. 

We will hold space and celebrate our wombs. Breezy and Bobbi share with us how they teach women about discovering the freedoms of their body and where they learned to respect and appreciate feminine bodies. Feel the joy. Feel the community. Get back to yourself. Regain your power. Create that vibration...free your cheeks!   

Quote of the Day: "If any female feels she needs anything beyond herself to legitimate and validate her existence, she is already giving away her power to be self-defining, her agency" -bell hooks   

Freethecheeks.com @wehealdifferent

H.E.R Space Podcast: Uplifting Conversations for the Black Woman

S3E13: Who Taught Us to Deny Our Sensuality? with Free the Cheeks Founders Breezy and Bobbi

Our relationship with money has an impact on our quality of life. Having a million dollars in the bank does not automatically make us happy nor does being “poor” equal unhappiness. This week we have a special guest that will help us all think about what changes we need to make in our lives to not only get our finances in order but shift our family dynamics to what best serves us. Constance Carter, the CEO of Catalyst Real Estate Professionals joins Terri and Dr. Dom to share with us her journey to healthy financial wellbeing. This is not your ordinary interview about finances. Lady, we guarantee there is some aspect of Constance’s story in which you can relate. Quote of the Day: "When you say things like, “I’m broke” you're telling the universe to keep you in the state of lack and you’re programming your mind to keep you there. Your words are powerful and prophetic, and what you say becomes real. If you want to have more, you have to speak it into existence." - Constance Carter &nbsp; Takeaways: Constance’s tips on changing your mindset:  GTS: Google That Sh*t Just Do It Laugh&nbsp; Lavish in the journey Find the good in everything  “Balance is a myth but harmony is a must.” -Lisa Nichols Relevant episodes: S3E3: 5 Tips to Help You Get Back On Track and Find Your Passion S2E12: Oh You Bougie, Huh? Resources: Constance Carter’s books recommendations: 1. The Secret to&nbsp; Breaking the BROKE&nbsp; Code: 5 Steps to Growth, Abundance &amp; Overflow https://amzn.to/2Sn0XW0 2. Keeping Score: What You Need to Know to Make Your Credit Score Grow https://amzn.to/2Zt3n6N&nbsp; 3. Secrets of a Millionaire Mind https://amzn.to/36pIsV0 &nbsp; Where to Find Constance: Website: Constance Carter Weekend of Wealth Retreat Facebook:  Nobodyworksharderthanconstancecarter Instagram: AskConstanceC Twitter: AskConstanceC &nbsp; Melanin and Mental Health  Therapy for Black Girls&nbsp; Psychology Today Therapy for QPOC &nbsp; Where to find us: Twitter: @HERspacepodcast Instagram: @herspacepodcast Facebook:  @herspacepodcast Website: herspacepodcast.com Email: herspacepodcast@gmail.com H.E.R Space Sanctuary: https://www.facebook.com/groups/herspacesanctuary/

H.E.R space

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