Crackpot Cinema: Ep 18—Make Mine Morricone: ORCA and SO FINE
 
Let’s all dab our eyes with a fresh slice of gobba-gool as we salute the late, great Ennio Morricone with two of Il Maestro’s more Crackpot-oriented efforts—Dino De Laurentiis’s blowhole blow-out ORCA (1977) and Andrew Bergman’s ass-joke approximation of Italian sex farces, SO FINE (1981).

Ep 18 - Make Mine Morricone: ORCA and SO FINE

To celebrate their utterly monstrous, mind-roasting, epic new documentary series TIME WARP: THE GREATEST CULT FILMS OF ALL TIME, director Danny Wolf and producer Paul Fishbein drop by to talk in depth about the very movies Crackpot Cinema loves the very most.

Crackpot Cinema

Ep 17 - Inside TIME WARP: THE GREATEST CULT FILMS OF ALL TIME

Brian Saur of Pure Cinema Podcast (and Just the Discs and Rupert Pupkin Speaks) joins us to take out Danny Peary’s trash—specifically, the movies rated “T” (for Trash) by our beloved author in his 1986 masterwork, GUIDE FOR THE FILM FANATIC.

We also focus on SATAN’S SADISTS (1969) and NURSE SHERRI (1978), in honor of yet another landmark totem for cult movie mavens, Severin Films’ recent, impossibly great box set, AL ADAMSON: THE MASTERPIECE COLLECTION.

Ep 16 - Rated T by an All Danny Peary Jury: SATAN’S SADISTS & NURSE SHERRI

Go gay all the way with us for a Pride Month salute to a pair of, let’s say, “non-pioneering” homosexual-themed comedies: ZORRO, THE GAY BLADE (1981) and PARTNER (1982). Note: Mike’s audio is a little distorted this ep (fixed for next time).

ZORRO showcases George Hamilton going high el campo as both the titular swordsman and his “swish-buckling” twin brother. PARTNERS teams macho straight cop Ryan O’Neal with tender-hearted gay cop John Hurt in an attempted comedic spin on, of all things, CRUISING (1980).

Plus: The DEATHTRAP Rubik’s Cube debate; Clint Eastwood almost meets Woody Allen; the cocaine-consumed FRIDAYS movie; the hunt for YOUNG LUST; Gene Siskel takes on SENIOR SNATCH; and one co-host estimates he’s 10% gay while his wife places him at “a minimum of 70%.”

Ep 15 - Crackpot Pride: ZORRO THE GAY BLADE & PARTNERS

Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Podcast co-host FRANK SANTOPADRE joins Mike and Aaron for a platinum-wigged, girdle-straining, Vaseline-smeared salute to Mae West’s camptastic 1978 swan song, SEXTETTE! So why don’t you come up and listen sometime? (i.e.—now!)

Ep 14 - Mae West, Frankly: SEXTETTE with Frank Santopadre

After Woody Allen’s one-two knockout plotz of ANNIE HALL and MANHATTAN, audiences so clamored for more New York Nebbish/Tall Drink of Shiksa rom-coms that movie cash-ins cropped up both high to low. We’re here to kibbitz about the low—i.e., SOMETHING SHORT OF PARADISE and SOUP FOR ONE.

Ep 13 - Woodless Allens: SOMETHING SHORT OF PARADISE (1979) and SOUP FOR ONE (1982)

In a salute to recently departed side-spitter supreme FRED WILLARD, we take on two of his more unsung efforts: the sketch comedy CRACKING UP (1977) and Buck Henry’s White House romp FIRST FAMILY (1980). It’s a pod-slapping Fredstravaganza!

Ep 12 - Fred Willard Forever: CRACKING UP & FIRST FAMILY

Don your colors for two of 1979’s most stupefying street-gang epics. No, it’s not THE WARRIORS & THE WANDERERS. It’s not even BOULEVARD NIGHTS & WALK PROUD. It’s SUNNYSIDE with Joey Travolta and BOARDWALK with Lee Strasberg & Ruth Gordon. Wisconsin film scholar Ben Reiser also guests and prospers through QUITE the beat-in initiation ceremony!

Ep 11 - G******g or Gangrene? SUNNYSIDE vs. BOARDWALK

"Master!... He is DEAD!" [Applause] Come mourn the passing of BLOODSUCKING FREAKS perpetrator Joel M. Reed as he's crackpotically honored by hosts Mike McPadden, Aaron Lee, and our first-ever special guest—L.A. comedy legend JOE WAGNER!

Ep 9 - The Heritage of Joel M. Reed: An Orgy of Sick Minds

"That's enter-taint-shit!" We salute two nostalgia-sopped, putty-mugged, magnificently moronic Golden Age of Tinseltown biopics from 1976: GABLE & LOMBARD and W.C. FIELDS & ME! (Billy Barty IS included!)

Ep 10 - HollyWOOFS: GABLE & LOMBARD and W.C. FIELDS & ME

Homicidal headcases hunt their heartthrobs in two early-'80s sagas of celebrity worship gone wackoid: the sanguine Lauren Bacall showcase THE FAN (1981) and the meaty German new-wave mouthful, DER FAN (1982).

Ep 8 - Stink or Stan: THE FAN (1981) vs DER FAN (1982)

It's all page-burners and potboilers when two behemoths of '70s lust literature turn the silver screen blue: Harold Robbins' THE BETSY (1978) and Sidney Sheldon's BLOODLINE (1979).

Ep 7 - Adult (Book) Movies: THE BETSY vs BLOODLINE

PRETTY BABY. BLUE LAGOON. ENDLESS LOVE. When contemplating "Brooke Shields movies," these leap to mind. Not here. Mike McPadden & Aaron Lee crack the pot with JUST YOU AND ME KID (1979), TILT (1979), WANDA NEVADA (1979), SAHARA (1983) and BRENDA STARR (1989).

Ep 4 - That's Brookesploitation!

Eat, drink, and explode miserable male bombast! It's Apocalypse Testosterone time as we mansplain LA GRAND BOUFFE (1972), PRAY FOR THE WILD CATS (1974), and I MELT WITH YOU (2011). Who will survive and what will be left of their boyish fragility? Nobody and nothing, that's who and that's that!

Ep 5 - Toxic Masculinity Breakdowns

Crackpot Cinema honors the dimpled-chin demigod that was Issur Danielovitch, aka Kirk Douglas, with a salute to four of his least-loved productions: MOUSEY (1974), THE VILLAIN (1979), SATURN 3 (1980), and TOUGH GUYS (1986). Find out what we "Dug More" and "Dug Less"!

Ep 3 - Krackpot Kirk Douglas

The Episode That Glows in the Dark! Mike McPadden and Aaron Lee pratfall into Le Cinema du John Ritter with AMERICATHON (1979), HERO AT LARGE (1980), THEY ALL LAUGHED (1981) and SKIN DEEP (1989)

Ep 2 - Ritter Me This

For the maiden voyage of the SS Crackpot, Mike McPadden and Aaron Lee reflect on their past as HUSTLER magazine pros with four films dedicated to the “men’s sophisticates” game: the decidedly non-obscure THE PEOPLE VS. LARRY FLYNT (1996), Steve Coogan in THE LOOK OF LOVE (2013), the documentary PORN KING: THE TRIALS OF AL GOLDSTEIN (2005), and the Don Knotts/Nat Hiken head-scratcher, THE LOVE GOD? (1969).

Bonus: we invoke one the Gods of Crackpot Cinema—Jack Webb—with an in-depth ramble on the smut-busting 1951 DRAGNET radio episode, “The Big Book.”

Ep 1 -  Dirty(Magazine)Movies

Don your most Herculean headdress, down any and all intoxicants within reach, and storm into our salute to the titanic extra everything-ness that is Elizabeth Taylor in BOOM! (1968), THE BLUE BIRD (1976), and THE MIRROR CRACK'D (1980).

Ep 6 - Lunatic Liz Taylor, Part 1

Crackpot Cinema Ep 19: MALIBU HIGH with Daniel Waters
 
HEATHERS screenwriter Daniel Waters joins the Crackpot Crew to celebrate MALIBU HIGH (1979), the bombastically berserk teen-prostitute-turb-mob-assassin blowout that Crown International Pictures sold—insanely successfully—as a beach-bunny bikini romp! 
 
You get all that plus: Deep inside “The People’s Court Theme”! John Carradine monologues from THE BEST OF SEX AND VIOLENCE! How Dawson’s mom got to get it goin’ on! The even more heinous supposed heroes of YOUNG WARRIORS! Who else we would cast in a Danny McBride-starring remake of MALIBU HIGH! And multiple injections of that SCTV stinger!

Ep 19 - MALIBU HIGH with Daniel Waters

Crackpot Cinema: Episode 20—H.O.T.S. with Mr. Skin
 
Hands Off Those Suckers?! Help Out the Seals?! No! In this case, H.O.T.S. stands for Hear Our Twentieth Show!!! Jim “Mr. Skin” McBride joins us for a double-X celebration of the ebullient drive-in/cable/VHS/Danny-Bonaduce-Resumé classic, H.O.T.S.! 
 
First up, we discuss the new documentary, SKIN: THE COMPLETE HISTORY OF NUDITY IN THE MOVIES which features both Jim and CCP’s own Mike McPadden (available everywhere August 18), then it’s Mondo H.O.T.S.-O all the way. 
 
Peaks include: Strip football! Boom Boom Bangs! Shlomo Goldberg! Arthur the Plant! Andy Sidaris! The Dingaling Sisters! Cheri Cafaro’s GINGER movies! THE HAPPY HOOKER GOES HOLLYWOOD as The H.O.T.S. Finishing School! And Mr. Skin names the two—and only two—occasions in cinema history in which an unclothed actress cavorts on-camera with a trained seal!

Ep 20 - H.O.T.S. with special guest Mr. Skin

Crackpot Cinema Ep 21 - L.A. Punk Movies, Part 1 with Allan MacDonell
 
In our most fluid-spewing episode to date, author, raconteur, and Mike and Aaron’s former Hustler magazine boss ALLAN MacDONELL joins us to take on Penelope Spheeris’s götterdammerüng documentary THE DECLINE OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION (1981) and the goddamnable dung heap DU-BEAT-E-O (1984).
 
We also delve deep into Hustler office gems such as Mike’s desktop Gatorade urinal and savage sidewalk beating outside a strip club; the invasion of Aaron’s trash can by the Pepsi Pooper; and the Jane Fonda/Ted Turner sex tape that we rated Three-Quarters Erect, but we’re still waiting to get “handled” over. Go listen and rest assured: Allan will be back.

Ep 21 - L.A. Punk Movies, Part 1 with Allan MacDonell

Ep 22: Alphabet City (1984) with Jonathan Hertzberg
 
Fun City Editions honcho Jonathan Hertzberg joins us to herald his new imprint’s maiden release—an astounding collector’s edition Blu-ray of Amos Poe’s ALPHABET CITY, starring Vincent Spano. 
 
Hear all about Poe’s punk/No Wave roots; Spano’s range from OVER THE EDGE to the 1988 version of AND GOD CREATED WOMAN; the heinous allure of brilliantly art-directed East Village dope dens, both on screen and off; the incomparable ’70s porn knowledge of Vinegar Syndrome’s teenage-era Joe Rubin; and what’s next for Fun City (Jenny Agutter fans—which should mean everyone—prepare yourselves). Get that AC Blu here: http://bit.ly/ACbluray

Ep 22 - Alphabet City with special guest Jonathan Hertzberg

Crackpot Cinema: Ep #23—“Pat Healy IS The Maniac Robert Mitchum!”
 
Actor, film fanatic, and profoundly committed “Robert Mitchum completist” PAT HEALY (CHEAP THRILLS, THE INNKEEPERS, COMPLIANCE) joins Mike and Aaron to take on two of Mitch’s most challenging projects—and they’re “challenging” in terms of any human being actually having to endure them. We did and we’re here to tell you all about it. 
 
First up is the boxing kangaroo mega-bomb MATILDA (1978) starring Elliot Gould, Art Metrano, Mitch as a sportswriter, and, in the title role, some simp in a genuinely jarring, hunk-of-dung marsupial suit.
Then it’s BACKFIRE! (1995), an inexplicable straight-to-VHS parody of Ron Howard’s 1991 non-classic, BACKDRAFT. This time, Mitch plays Fire Marshal Marshall opposite Telly Savalas, Shelley Winters, Kathy Ireland, Mary McCormack, and Edie Falco as “Mom.”
 
Jawboning highlights include: Pat Healy dulcetly recites Matilda-penned poetry; Pat and Debby Boone put a milk-fed spin on “Lemon Incest;” Edd Kookie B. invokes his guru Troy D.; BACKFIRE star Josh Mosby dangles his white-chocolate deliciousness; and the Carol Connors who’s NOT Thora Birch’s porn star mom may actually be cooler than the Carol Connors who IS Thora Birch’s porn star mom (again: MAY be).

Ep 23 - —Pat Healy IS The Maniac Robert Mitchum!

Crackpot Cinema: Episode 24—“The Legend of the Lone Ranger” (1981) with President David Goodman
 
Don your black masks, bizarre blue jumpsuits, and faithful companions this week as THE PRESIDENT joins us to discuss the retro-stinko disaster, THE LEGEND OF THE LONE RANGER (1981)!
 
That’s right—Mike and Aaron are joined by DAVID GOODMAN, President of the Writers Guild West to suss out what went wrong (i.e., everything) with Hollywood’s nudnik nostalgia bore-bomb an inexplicably centered on the anti-charisma of one-and-done opposite-of-a-movie-star Klinton Spilsbury. 
 
In addition, a sickly-looking horse plays Silver, Christopher Lloyd as Butch Canvendish inexplicably sports no mustache, the un-botchable “William Tell Overture” somehow gets repeatedly botched, and Andy Warhol weighs in on Klinton Spilsbury in the same manner he so memorably did Frankenstein and Dracula (i.e., awesomely).

Ep 24 - The Legend of the Lone Ranger with President David Goodman

Crackpot Cinema: Ep#25 — Firesign Movie Theatre

Don’t crush that electrician on the bus, you bozo! Noise rock overlord Christopher Sienko joins Mike and Aaron for a triple feature of films created by and featuring surrealistic “head” comedy superstars supreme, the Firesign Theatre. 
 
Opening short MARTIAN SPACE PARTY (1972) is a half-hour documentation of a live Firesign Performance that will positively snap your brain-stem. Feature one, ZACHARIAH (1971), is an “Electric Western” juiced on-screen by Don Johnson, the James Gang, and Dick Van Patten. Main attraction J-MEN FOREVER (1979) brilliantly jams overdubbed 1930s superhero serials (featuring Shazam as The Caped Mad Man and the Crimson Ghost as The Lightning Bug) into lunatic plot regarding rock-‘n’-roll vs. the square sounds of Lawrence Milk!

Ep 25 - Firesign Movie Theatre

Crackpot Cinema: Ep #26 —“Student Bodies” (1981)
 
Craft your horsehead bookends, watch out for gum on the steps, and DON’T drink Malvert’s prom punch! Crackpot Cinema is here to salute writer-director Mickey Rose’s bombastically brilliant slasher spoof, STUDENT BODIES! 
 
Jenny Nixon of The Museum of Home Video busts out her finest paperclips and chalky erasers to join Mike and Aaron in discussing all things in the uproarious orbit of this first, best, and of funniest of ’80s horror parodies. Among our topics:  
 
• Richard Belzer as Richard Brando as The Breather!
 
• Richard Belzer as Richard Belzer in CAFÉ FLESH!
 
• MTV’s Martha Quinn misconstrued as Prince Valiant in a Plum Sweater! 
 
• Woody Allen convulsing over somebody talking through a rubber chicken!
 
• Why STRIPES should have been rated “J” — as in, “Light a J!”
 
• How choosy moms may choose Jif, but Cool Moms rent you FACES OF DEATH from Madman’s Video Vault!
 
• The kid who claimed, “STUDENT BODIES was so gross, it made a dog puke!” — and then Jenny’s dog proves it!

Ep 26 - Student Bodies

Crackpot Cinema: Ep #27 — Whatchoo Talkin’ ’Bout, Rainn Wilson
 
Rainn Wilson guests on Crackpot Cinema to marvel at Gary Coleman living in a train station locker and picking racetrack winners in the 1981 opus, ON THE RIGHT TRACK. 
 
That’s right! RAINN WILSON! The once-and-forever Dwight Schrute/Bassoon King/Soul Pancake Yogi subjected himself not only to this curious farce about a homeless kid with psychic gambling powers, he also helps us suss out:
 
• Why 1981 is the ultimate year for Cinematic Crackpotica!
 
• The matchless excitement of vintage Fall Preview TV specials!
 
• ALL the words to the Kaptain Kool and the Kongs’ theme song!
 
• Norman F@¢&ing Fell! 
 
• How frazzled, fractured Inner Child McBeardo might have prompted one co-host to rate ON THE RIGHT TRACK as a “Gary Coleman” rather than a “Gary Colon.”
 
And — PAY ATTENTION HERE — if you listen all the way through, Rainn makes a very special offer to YOU, our beloved Crackpot Public! (Get ready to tweet #OnTheRightTrack to @rainnwilson) 
 
#crackpotcinema #crackpotcinemapodcast #rainnwilson #soulpancake #theoffice #basoonking #dwightschrute #dundermifflin #beetfarm #ontherighttrack #ontherighttrackmovie #chicagomovies #normanfell #maureenmcgovern #diffrentstokes #differentstrokes #garycoleman #siskelandebert #thekidwiththebrokenhalo #arnoldjackson #arnolddrummond #tweetOnTheRightTracktorainnwilson

Ep 27 - Whatchoo Talkin’ ’Bout, Rainn Wilson

Crackpot Cinema: Ep #28 — PATRICK (1978) and PATRICK STILL LIVES (1980)
 
Give thanks! Actor, writer, director, funnyman, and comatose horror hero namesake PAT HEALY returns as the first-ever Crackpot Cinema Co-Guest-Host for a jarringly wide-eyed evaluation of the Ozploitation classic PATRICK (1978) and its utterly bughouse insane Italian rip-off/faux-sequel, PATRICK STILL LIVES (1980). 
 
Patrick-Is-Ready-for-His-Handjob highlights include:
 
• The international plague of PSYCHOKINESIS!
 
• Frog snuff!
 
• Fireplace poker gynecology!
 
• The power of a properly aimed bottle-to-the-face to unleash PYSCHOKINESIS!
 
• Richard Franklin’s orangutan erotica opus starring Elisabeth Shue!
 
• The many faces that make up the face of PATRICK star Robert Thompson! We see Roger Daltry, Malcolm McDowell, Marjoe Gortner, Gerrit Graham, Mark Blankfield, Joaquin Phoenix, David Patrick Kelly (“Luther” from THE WARRIORS), and, of course, Marty Feldman. Who else ya got?
 
• PSYCHOKINESIS!!!

Ep 28 - Patrick + Patrick Still Lives

Crackpot Cinema: Ep. 29 — BUSTIN’ LOOSE (1981) and D.C. CAB (1983)
 
Guest co-host PAT HEALY comes roaring back for high-octane, outrageously anti-social, bizarrely heart-warming careen into the early-’80s R-rated comedy oddities BUSTIN’ LOOSE (1981) with Richard Pryor and D.C. CAB (1983) with — get ready — Mr. T, The Barbarian Brothers, Charlie Barnett, Marsha Warfield, Max Gail, Bill Maher, Irene Cara … AND Gary Busey as Dell (he demanded the special “AND” credit).
 
Unnecessarily and inappropriately profane highlights include:
 
• Joe Mason — Barber for Hire, Foot for Popemobile to Run Over! 
 
• The curious ’70s-turning-’80s phenomenon of R-rated PG movies! 
 
• How false advertising worked for BUSTIN’ LOOSE, but failed for BLUE COLLAR!
 
• UNCLE TOM’S FAIRY TALES aka Richard Pryor’s THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED! 
 
• Gary Busey does filthy toilet floor “intestinal yoga”!
 
• Mr. T pities the gimmick star who can’t crowbar “Just Say No” messaging into a filthy comedy about genuinely dangerous and reprehensible “heroes”! 
 
• Pat Healy tweet-slaps Adam Baldwin!
 
• Timothy Carey goes to Hell — and Charlie Barnett drives him there! 
 
• The profound impact upon young Mike McPadden of NEW YORK magazine critic David Denby’s one-line summation of ST. ELMO’S FIRE — i.e., “Directed by the brutally untalented Joel Schumacher.” 
 
(Thank you to KINO LORBER for putting out BUSTIN’ LOOSE and D.C. CAB as Special Edition Blu-Rays!)

Ep 29 - Bustin' Loose & D.C. Cab

https://www.gofundme.com/f/mike-mcbeardo-mcpadden-memorial-fund?fbclid=IwAR1ouyHvjfwHJcKIlCBmJwtNXcvpF6jeec9ObFin4fKo8koTlSZtImddJ3c

Ep 30 - Mike

Crackpot Cinema: Ep. 31  — MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR (1967) + SGT. PEPPER’S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND (1978)
On a very special final episode of Crackpot Cinema, Aaron Lee, Kat Ellinger and Ben Reiser pay loving tribute to our fallen pod-rade, Mike “McBeardo” McPadden, and also carry through with Mike’s plans for a special Crackpot Beatles Boxing Day Celebration.
Tearjerking and gutbusting highlights include:
• McBeardo takes the easy way out!
• Ben Reiser: Will Work for Cookies!
• Katrinka explains Boxing Day!
• Victor Spinetti pronounces FOR THE LOVE OF BENJI!
• McBeardo Bigger than Jesus!?!
• Working Class Beatles vs. Art School Stones!
• Do Brits know what spaghetti is?!?
• Peter Frampton is Smeagol! 
• Strawberry Fields sings Strawberry Fields???
• Sha Na Na is the missing link between Woodstock and Sgt. Pepper!!
• George Fucking Burns fixes a hole!
• Alice Cooper is Frank Zappa! 
• The Wall meets Xanadu!!
And much, much, much more.
Mike McPadden GoFundMe: gofund.me/9bd70663

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Ep 31 - Crackpot Beatles vs Bee Gees

CRACKPOT CINEMA reels through charming and/or alarming vintage films that have, deservedly or not, slipped into obscurity. Hosted by Mike McPadden (author of "Teen Movie Hell" & "Heavy Metal Movies") & Aaron Lee (TV writer, former Exec Producer of "Family Guy")

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