beat by rx808 "[FREE FOR PROFIT] Sad XXXTENTACION Type Beat "I Feel Nothing".

Lyrics:

Hi, Coldie. This is a note to you for the future, a reminder of the important things that you must adhere to in order to live in peace. Without hurting others or loved ones. You are cold-blooded. This is your true self. But your negligence can hurt or even offend your loved ones and this is not your fault. Just keep painting. If anyone likes your drawing, just say thanks. Don't get attached to anyone. It will pull you straight to the bottom. You will be upset if you start to impose. It feels like you’re a mosquito that has sucked into someone who tolerates you and holds back only so as not to hit you thereby getting rid of you. Just stay in a comfortable zone for you, or adjust the situation for yourself. Fuck everyone, no one will understand you. This is the main reason why you'll always be alone, wherever you are. You're not pathetic, no. It's just that you're distorted from the inside and this cannot be radically changed. Just go with the flow and stay on your imaginary road. It's better this way, trust me. 

Cvld Blvvded - A few words to myself from the future [Prod. rx808]

My Nokia 6.1 phone mic makes a not so bad sound. It turns out. Frankly, I'm surprised.


Prod. 5:10
Date: 05.10.2021
Time: 05:10


HAPPY DEATHDAY TO ME!


Lyrics:


[Pre-Chorus w/ Chorus]


Since my birth, I began to feel empty gradually,
Uh,
All the time I was neutral dry emotionally,
But today I wanna have some fun doing knife swings, 
Uhh, fuck,
My mood swings,
HAPPY DEATHDAY TO ME [x2]


I'm gonna clear my brain of all the junk,
Noise in my ears, I'm deaf from their talk,
Where are my parents? Uh? I feel like I'm stuck,
Why are these girls laughing? 
Do they take my words as a joke? [x2]


[Verse 1]


Now I'm fourteen, 
I'm not wearing a mask because of quarantine,
Even if it didn't exist, 
I would still keep my pale face closed


This is my complex,
There's an image of a killer in my head,
I'm not sure if I am healthy 'cause I'd think about the question:
"Should I pull the trigger at my temple?"
I've got so much pain in my life to deal with,
Nobody can understand how I'm feeling,
I don't know if tenderness could heal it


[Pause]


[Verse 2]


All this joy seems so primitive,
It looks like I should enjoy it, but I only feel emptiness,
Maybe I should just relax,
But I'm still too young for sex,
Although it would be enough for me
The usual gentle caresses


Mutually beneficial warmth,
It will hide the fact of being lost,
For more effective pleasure, 
I will take off your T-shirt


Maybe I should just relax,
But I'm still too young for sex,
Although it would be enough for me
The usual gentle caresses...


[Chorus repeat]


[Outro]


HAPPY DEATHDAY TO ME
Uh, I'm not done yet,
I'm not done...



                                    [Second part]


[Intro]


Lucyxix and Zxd were here on this beat
SHOOT UP THE SCHOOL IV
It was so long ago, ahh, this is really my childhood,
But this is my song...


[Verse 1]


I was just awake, was I?
I woke up at school with a gun in my hand, 
The grip is tight,
I can feel someone's breath behind my back,
Everyone is scared, 
I feel the urge to mutilate the corpses of everyone I killed


[Verse 2]


This feeling grows inside,
My future is my death, 
I know it but I can't control my mind,
All the screams just make me laugh,
I don't have much time 'cause soon of me there will be nothing left,
I'm vulnerable I am not safe


[Bridge]


Blood on my shirt,
Soon there will be no drop of my blood on this earth,
Continuous torture n' pain from my conscience is all I deserve,
I see things that you cannot, tear off your eyeballs if there is a veil of blur 


[Verse 4]


I HAVE GOT ENOUGH, 
IN MY VEINS THERE'S SOME KIND OF POISON,
ONE BULLET IN THE GLOCK,
THE QUESTION IS, WHOSE HEAD IS IT TO SHOOT,
I HAVE SO MUCH ROT BUT I CANNOT FIND ITS ROOT,
WHEN I SAW MY OWN REFLECTION IT MADE ME FUCKING PUKE


I HAVEN'T SLEPT FOR DAYS, IN THE MIRROR I SEE A DEAD LOOK
I'VE SO MUCH ROT BUT I CANNOT FIND ITS ROOT,
WHEN I SAW MY OWN REFLECTION IT MADE ME FUCKING PUKE,
I HAVEN'T SLEPT FOR DAYS, IN THE MIRROR I SEE A DEAD LOOK


[Bridge 2]


HOW MANY TIMES ALREADY SAID,
LOVE DOES NOT EXIST,
HOW MANY MORE TIMES WILL I BE BETRAYED?
TILL I UNDERSTAND THE TRUTH...


[Verse 5]


I JUST WANNA SHARPEN THE BLADE,
AND THEN MAKE A SWING 
AFTER WHICH BLOOD WILL SPRAY,
I DON'T UNDERSTAND A THING,
I will punch a hole in my chest, RIP OUT MY WHOLE HEART,
I don't need no pain disguised as PURE LOVE ANYMORE


[Verse 6]


WHO'S THAT KNOCKING AT MY DOOR?
I FEEL LIKE A LIVING CORPSE,
NEXT TO ME THERE'S A LYING GIRL,
SHE GAVE ME THAT SWEET CARESS AND WARMTH,
THIS IS THE REASON WHY I FEEL AFFECTION FOR HER,
SHE OPENED UP TO ME, ACCEPTED MY PAIN, 
AND 'CAUSE OF THIS, WE HEALED EACH OTHER'S HEARTS


[Verse 7]


She became my cure,
I don't know who I'm to her, but she's important to me,
She became my world,
I'm not sure if without her I would live...
She became my world,
I'm not sure if without her I would live...


HAPPY DEATHDAY TO ME!


[THE END 🌟]

HAPPY DEATHDAY TO ME! [Prod. 5:10]

that's my filler song but I had a lot of fun recording this so enjoy it...


Lyrics:


Yes you're right I'm terrible,
Behaving like an animal,
I cut pieces of flesh from the skeleton,
And then eat them like a cannibal


I sharpen the blade of a knife it can't be dull,
My delicacy is brains, I take it out of the skull,
I use a cleaver on special occasions, but the knife's my main tool,
Flesh bags fill up too fast, I'm a rare specimen


You prolly think how I sleep at night,
The answer's simple, I don't even close my eyes,
All my actions are sinful, they built my whole life


Who said I wanna get along with you? I'm on my own and I'm just fine
I won't let you enter my mind,
I do whatever I like...


You can't fucking force me,
I can't see moral values, 
My heart is my missing organ,
You can't fucking force me,
I can't see moral values, 
My heart is my missing organ
DON'T LOOK DOWN ON ME,
YOU ARE NOT THE SMARTEST


DON'T LOOK DOWN ON ME,
YOU ARE NOT THE SMARTEST,
I'M THE ONE YOU FEAR,
AS I SAID ABOVE, I'M HEARTLESS,
DON'T LOOK DOWN ON ME,
YOU ARE NOT THE SMARTEST,
I'M THE ONE YOU FEAR,
AS I SAID ABOVE, I'M HEARTLESS...


[THE END 🌟]

RARE SPECIMEN (Prod. fluoride music)

Prod. Yung Vro

1/10 | Album "HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!"

Lyrics:

I PIERCE YOUR SKULL 
WITH THE SOLE OF MY BOOT


I RECEIVED HATE BUT 
I CAN'T REACH ITS ROOT


MY MIND IS INSANE 
IT CHANGES MY MOOD


AND I AM ITS SLAVE 
HERE MY HANDS ARE TIED UP


I'M TRYNA FIGURE OUT 
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

BUT I CAN'T FIND A BLACK HOLE THAT ABSORBS THE POSITIVE

I SCREAM IN A CAGE
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE I'M ALONE


I'LL RELEASE ALL THE RAGE AND 
BREAK ALL YOUR BONES


I PLAY WITH THE BLADE 
CUTTING PEOPLE TO PIECES,
HOW MANY CORPSES HAVE I MADE, 
BUT MY SOUL STILL DOESN'T FEEL A THING


I WOULD SAY I LIKETA SHED LOTSA BLOOD N' LOOK LIKE A VILLAIN,
I SEEMTA TAKE OFF MY MASK 
AND REVEAL MY TRUE FACE 
AN' GET RIDA TH' NEEDA PRETEND


BUT WAIT, 
SOON I'LL MOVE INTO A NEW PHASE,

WHERE I'LL RIP THE BODIES WITH A CHAINSAW,

I'LL CHOP OFF YOUR LEGS IN THE KNEE AREA,

AN' THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO USE A CANE...


I still hope that I'll change someday,
I can't live as a cannibal, it's disgusting,
With every kill my cursed soul grows more rotten


I can't look into my face
That's under the skin full of sins and pain,
I'm not a man and far from a saint,
I bring chaos and pain 
Can't live with myself


I WANT TO RUN FAR AWAY FROM MYSELF,
BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT I CAN'T GET OUT OF MY SKIN,
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME,
MY SOUL NEVER BE FREE,
I'LL WATCH IT BLEED, 
FOR THE THINGS THAT I DID,
ALL BLOODY TEARS WILL DISSOLVE INTO EMPTINESS


ALL BLOODY TEARS WILL
DISSOLVE INTO EMPTINESS
ALL BLOODY TEARS WILL
DISSOLVE INTO EMPTINESS
ALL BLOODY TEARS WILL
DISSOLVE INTO EMPTINESS
ALL BLOODY TEARS WILL
DISSOLVE INTO EMPTINESS


I can't fucking fall asleep 
Even for a little while, 
All that pain I cannot keep, 
I JUST WANNA POUR IT OUT


All this pain went very deep, 
I don't see a single light,
I hear voices in my head and 
THEY'RE SO FUCKING LOUD 


My Body Hangs In The Air, 
My soul wonders if it's fair, 
But somehow i don't really care, 
anyway, 
Everything I do when I'm alive 
After death goes nowhere...
Everything I do when I'm alive 
AFTER DEATH GOES NOWHERE...

WHAT'S WRVNG WITH ME [Prod. Yung Vro]

[Prod. JAILBREAK X HICKEY]


4/10 | Album "HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!"


Lyrics:


Nervous tics,

I wanna spill blood burgundy,

My mind's still in the past, while the body's living currently,

I can't open my eyes when I try to it feels like in my eyes there's citrus acid


I want to ease the pain,
My senses are distorted,
My hands reach for the blade,
About to chop the road of corpses


When I spill some blood,
I like it,
Then I feel like there's something stuck in my throat,
It's saliva,
I can't contain my true self, you know?
I find it hard to


Keeping a monster in a cage brings to death and it's true,
Throwing a corpse across the floor is my heart tune,
Nothing personal, just my passion is violence,
I lost my common sense when I was locked in the dark, 
Sitting alone in TOTAL SILENCE


Fill the floor with blood, it's already a pond 
Damn,
I guess I need a boat,
Heal the wounds you got, you've no strength to make a sound,
That's the time when you should pray to god...



Watching your blood drain, 
I CAN'T GET ENOUGH,
Even if I wanted to change, 
THERE'S NO WAY
I COULD TO


Watching your blood drain, 
I CAN'T GET ENOUGH,
Even if I wanted to change, 
THERE'S NO WAY
I COULD TO



Nervous tics,
I wanna spill blood burgundy,
My mind is still in the past, while the body is living currently,
I can't open my eyes when I try to it feels like 
In my eyes 
There is citrus acid


I want to ease the pain,
My senses are distorted,
Slit across your throat,
PERVERSE BLISS IS MY PURPOSE...


[THE END 🌟]

SLIT THROAT [Prod. JAILBREAK x HICKEY]

[Prod. CVTY]

5/10 | Album "HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!"

A fucked up lyrics:

I admit that in this song I imagined myself as a girl. I know it's weird, but if I was born a girl I would be lesbian. But nvm...


Insert two fingers in her mouth, 
My two nails are reaching her throat, 
The closed path for the air makes her cough,
My ears got really clogged of her moans 


Light touches made her tremble,
The past instantly turns to shadow,
The mind's involuntarily gets dulled by pleasure,
I FELL IN LOVE WITH AN ANGEL


Insert two fingers in her mouth, 
My two nails are reaching her throat,
The closed path for the air makes her cough,
My ears got really clogged of her moans 


Light touches made her tremble,
The past instantly turns to shadow,
The mind's involuntarily gets dulled by pleasure,
I FELL IN LOVE WITH AN ANGEL


UHH,
I KNOW YOU LOVE IT WHEN I STROKE YOUR BELLY,
I CAN FEEL IT, I CAN FEEL YOUR EVERY TWITCH,
YOUR BODY BENDS IN THE SPINE,
AND YOU STILL INSIST THAT 
THIS IS SOMETHING THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY DO NOT LIKE


I'm offended by the fact that you're lying,
So many feelings inside, even though outside there's silence,
You can hide a smile, it doesn't make my critical thinking blinded,
Feel the heat on your skin,
The degree only increases as soon as I SQUEEZE YOU TIGHTER


I might wrap my arms 'round your neck,
'Cause of the pain in my heart,
IT BLEEDS THROUGH THE CRACK,
It's not your fault, 
I JUST HAVE BAD REFLEXES


I've an itchy scar on my soul, 
IT FEELS LIKE IT'S BEING RIPPED OPEN WITH BLADES,
Uhhhh...
MY MIND IS CLOUDED BY PAINFUL FLASHBACKS


I'm sorry if I hurt you, 
I didn't mean it...
I'm sorry if I hurt you, 
I didn't mean it...


I'm cold inside, 
My heart is a piece of ice,
I broke the boundaries of my mind,
Appreciated the situation, eradicated all the lies


But I still don't feel satisfied,
Even though I literally reached the skies,
It's unpleasant for me to hide,
That I'll never win this fight...


Light touches made her tremble,
The past instantly turns to shadow,
The mind's involuntarily gets dulled by pleasure,
I FELL IN LOVE WITH AN ANGEL


But I still don't feel satisfied,
Even though I literally reached the skies,
It's unpleasant for me to hide,
That I'll never win this fight...


Insert two fingers in her mouth, 
My two nails are reaching her throat,
The closed path for the air makes her cough,
My ears got really clogged of her moans


[THE END 🌟]

CARESSING A LITTLE GIRL [Prod. CVTY]

Prod. MYSTXRY

7/10 | Album "HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!"

Lyrics:


THE COGNITIVE DISSONANCE,
ABSOLUTELY ALL LOVE IS IRRELEVANT,
WANTED TO TRY TO TRUST, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS A MISTAKE,
THE REMNANTS OF HONESTY HAVE ROTTED AWAY


MY SPINE STILL HURTS PLAINTIVELY,
THE SOUL HAS EXHAUSTED ALL ITS STRENGTH FOR HATE,
IT WANTS A HUG FROM A ROPE 'ROUND MY NECK


I'm tired of putting on a smile,
I'M TIRED OF ALL THIS LIFE,
Can't shed all the pain anymore through a quiet cry,
SILENCE ON THE OUTSIDE 
DOESN'T MEAN THAT 
I FEEL GOOD 
ON THE INSIDE


Watching your words turn to empty phrase,
I won't let you wipe a tear from my empty face,
You're the only source of my endless pain,
Even if I let you into my heart, 
It won't change the things, but only aggravate 
My mental state 
Anyway...



THE COGNITIVE DISSONANCE,
ABSOLUTELY ALL LOVE IS IRRELEVANT,
WANTED TO TRY TO TRUST, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS A MISTAKE,
THE REMNANTS OF HONESTY HAVE ROTTED AWAY


MY SPINE STILL HURTS PLAINTIVELY,
THE SOUL HAS EXHAUSTED ALL ITS STRENGTH FOR HATE,
IT WANTS A HUG FROM A ROPE 'ROUND MY NECK


I'm tired of putting on a smile,
I'M TIRED OF ALL THIS LIFE,
Can't shed all the pain anymore through a quiet cry,
SILENCE ON THE OUTSIDE 
DOESN'T MEAN THAT 
I FEEL GOOD ON THE INSIDE...


Watching your words turn to empty phrase,
I won't let you wipe a tear from my empty face,
You're the only source of my endless pain,
Even if I let you into my heart, 
It won't change the things, but only aggravate 
My mental state 
Anyway...


THE SOUL HAS EXHAUSTED ALL ITS STRENGTH FOR HATE,
IT WANTS A HUG FROM A ROPE 'ROUND MY NECK...


[THE END 🌟]

HUG FROM A ROPE AROUND MY NECK [Prod. MYSTXRY]

Prod. Myuu (Thanks for the childhood, bro 🖤)


Lyrics:


"Cough, cough... Uhhh... I'm so tired... I see no reason to go further when there is no path that I could follow. There is no point in a miserable and worthless existence... My life ended long ago, but... Not completely, and therefore I have been existin' for a long period of time. I see no reason to wait any longer..."


I think I'm ready and I have the strength to get up and go to the kitchen, open the drawer and pull out the knife, and then ask myself again whether to wait or die


My veins are filled with fear and my heart is racing, it's easier for me to end all the torture and stand on the doorstep of death and face it, the next step will be straight to hell, there I will feel at least something, maybe even well, uh..


Back to the present, I am writing this note in which I express the state of my soul, even an angel despaired that I would ever get up and stop lying at the bottom. 


My heart is empty, the only thing that kept me alive, not sure if I can save it, I have no strength to fight. I was disappointed in people when some of them betrayed me, I don't like to feel like a victim I hate it. 


I swear this is not self-flagellation, I feel hurt, but not aggression, this is torture for me, but... Definitely not passion... 


Blood flows down my hand, and I lie on the floor looking up, 
I hope my loved ones will see the note that I left them and understand my decision to end it all


All the darkness and problems that I couldn't cope with pushed me to this desperate step,
I imagine how they'll be hurt and will cry coverin' their mouth with a palm,
I wish I could handle it and not fall...
Into despair...
I imagine how they'll be hurt and will cry coverin' their mouth with a palm,
I wish I could handle it and not fall...
Into despair...


Maybe I'm an egoist who doesn't think 'bout others,
But I'm already completely dead and I want 'em to know that I'm sorry...


I think I'm ready and I have the strength to get up and go to the kitchen, 
Open the drawer and pull out the knife, 
And then ask myself again whether to wait or die


Blood flows down my hand, and I lie on the floor looking up, 
I hope my loved ones will see the note that I left them and understand my decision to end it all


Maybe I'm an egoist who doesn't think 'bout others,
But I'm already completely dead and I want 'em to know that I'm sorry...
Maybe I'm an egoist who doesn't think 'bout others,
But I'm already completely dead and I want 'em to know that I'm sorry...



[The End ⚰️]


SVICIDE NVTE [Prod. Myuu | Piano Version Of Sweet Dreams Are Made Of Screams]

Prod. @sladkodunul187


Lyrics:


You're worth dying for,

You know how I love you...

Hannah, tell me why you treat me so coldly...


I held your hand for so long,
Ignoring subsequently the blood on my palms,
I fell with my whole soul 'fore you,
But I still don't understand why you treat me so coldly,
Tell me why you treat me so coldly,
Wasted so much time with my emotions,
Turned a blind eye to the fact that you were harmfully noxious,
I was ready to pass out forever in a coffin,
But I don't wanna feel cheated, I don't want to feel abandoned...


Tell me why you treat me so coldly,
Tell me why...


Hannah... I Love You...

WØRTH DYING FVR [Prod. sladko dunul]

Happy Children's Day.


Prod. by Neuf Beats


Lyrics: 


I don't wanna talk,
There's nothing wrong,
I just want to be a little alone,
There's nothing wrong,
I hold no grudge,
I'm just tired,
I don't have enough of your love,
I'm wobbling at the edge



I am pleased with your concern

Please take and embrace my frozen heart

You know how long I've been lacking warmth

I missed you when we were far apart, 
Looking at thousands of stars



Everything seems so pointless

Life doesn't bring no enjoyment

I'm breaking more and more under those voices

Looks like my future is blank and I've no choices



You're the only one who gives me any hope,
You give me the strength to keep on living,
It would be easier for me to end everything with soap and rope,
But I knew that you'd be the only one who was sincerely grieving



Hold me tight to your warm chest,
You told me that tonight we'll be by ourselves,
I know that you go through the same pain as me,
I can't live in this world, I would like to escape



I don't fit in this world,
Can't get used to this pain,
Take my hand, aren't you tired of being hurt?
You wouldn't want to go through the same thing over and over again...



Everything seems so pointless,
Life doesn't bring no enjoyment,
I'm breaking more and more under those voices,
Looks like my future is blank and I've no choices



You're everything to me,
You're everything,
You're everything to me,
Eve-ry-thing....



I hold no grudge
I'm just tired

I don't have enough of your love

I'm wobbling at the edge

I am pleased with your concern



Please take and embrace my frozen heart

You know how long I've been lacking warmth

I missed you when we were far apart

Looking at thousands of stars...


You're the only one who gives me any hope,
You give me the strength to keep on living,
It would be easier for me to end everything with soap and rope,
But I knew that you'd be the only one who was sincerely grieving


Hold me tight to your warm chest, 
You told me that tonight we'll be by ourselves, 
I know that you go through the same pain as me, 
I can't live in this world, I would like to escape...

YOU'RE EVERYTHING TO ME [Prod. neuf beats]

Had to remaster this song 'cause it was bad. 


Prod. by @Luxar

Lyrics:

GRAB ME WITH CHELICERA,
I'M STUCK IN A WEB,
IT TURNS OUT I'M A VICTIM,
CAUGHT IN YOUR TRAP,
MY BODY IS STUCK,
SHOULDN'T HAVE FOUGHT FOR YOUR LOVE,
NOW I GIVE NO FUCKS,
RIP MY HEART TO PIECES NOW...



I trusted again,
Can’t understand the mistake,
Now it remains to decay,
Over and over I start the game...
Unable to learn the rules,
Therefore in the end I become a broken fool,
Unable to learn the rules,
Therefore in the end I become a broken fool...



The thirst to pierce your ribs grows,
PULL THE HEART OUT THEN DESTROY,
You don't use it anyway,
THROW YOUR BODY LIKE TRASH INTO A GRAVE...



YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT PAIN YOU GAVE ME,
Tear your soul away from your body NOTHING'LL CHANGE IF YOU DON’T HAVE IT...
I opened my soul wide open to you in the hope that you will save me,
But you took me in your arms it'd be better if you left me...



But you mentally torture me and you know I breathe but do not feel alive. You accepted me, but in order to destroy the remaining carcass of my life... I looked for love and found my pain. Now I'm in a daze realizing that I'm in a cage...



GRAB ME WITH CHELICERA,
I'M STUCK IN A WEB,
IT TURNS OUT I'M A VICTIM,
CAUGHT IN YOUR TRAP,
MY BODY IS STUCK,
SHOULDN'T HAVE FOUGHT FOR YOUR LOVE,
NOW I GIVE NO FUCKS,
RIP MY HEART TO PIECES NOW...



GRAB ME WITH CHELICERA,
I'M STUCK IN A WEB,
IT TURNS OUT I'M A VICTIM,
CAUGHT IN YOUR TRAP,
MY BODY IS STUCK,
SHOULDN'T HAVE FOUGHT FOR YOUR LOVE,
NOW I GIVE NO FUCKS,
RIP MY HEART TO PIECES NOW...



You used me like a fucking toy. And you know, I'm offended... 
So many hopes for a bright future just collapsed in an instant... Thank you little bitch... So much...



CVBWEB TRAP [Prod. Luxar]

Happy birthday to me, I guess. I feel like shit, this year might be the worst in my short life atm. I thought this day will be better than all the others, but I was wrong.


Prod. @nxm1nal

Lyrics:


How can you love me even if I don't?
You know, these flattery seem like vitriolic taunt,
Slide along the edge of my already shattered heart,
Love outshines the mind just like a blinding star


How can you love me even if I don't?
You know, these flattery seem like vitriolic taunt,
Slide along the edge of my already shattered heart,
Love outshines the mind just like a blinding star


Injurious stab straight in the back, huh
Emotions swing from grey to black, huh
Deep inside I'm afraid to feel forsaken,
Can't express my feelings, that's the reason why I'm bad-tempered


There's an empty vacuum within my breastbone,
My heart and my mind are unable to settle,
It's irrelevant why I'm so wistful and stressful,
Look in the mirror that's shattered and see the bastard



I'm ready to perform tasks like a machine gear,
Just put on a stout mask, heart's glacial like winter,
There will be no bright days, loved ones voices will hinder,
As I take off my lenses, all colors turn silver,
As I take off my lenses, all colors turn silver


How can you love me even if I don't?
You know, these flattery seem like vitriolic taunt,
Slide along the edge of my already shattered heart,
Love outshines the mind just like a blinding star


What a rat trap...
Wounded like a wasp bite...
Can't forget that...
Though I should have, it impairs my foresight...


I'd like to bleed out lethally,
I wish to bleed out lethally,
I want to bleed out lethally,
I thirst to bleed out lethally,
And I will...


I'm ready to perform tasks like a machine gear,
Just put on a stout mask, heart's glacial like winter,
There will be no bright days, loved ones voices will hinder,
As I take off my lenses, all colors turn silver...

VACUUM SELF-DIGGING [Prod. NXM1NAL]

2022 is kinda shitty. I wanted to make something out from nostalgia and here's what came out. Idk if I infringed any copyrights, but still.

Vocals are by scarlxrd. I used already prepared acapellas from YouTube and just put them over the beat, which is made by 88VLEXX. 

This is my first mashup or how it's called. I know there's moments when vocals don't fit the beat but I don't care, just enjoy the screams and guitar riffs. That's all that matters.

Lyrics:


Car go zoom, I'm immune to the bullshit,
Go crazy like I'm tooled up stupid with the new shit,
Who rules the nuisance, I'm the future of the new shit,
Nobody better, I'm a winner of this new shit,
Harder to sink, I'm a product of riches,
Nobody out there living lavish on this sick shit,
I break the covers and I sell it like a rich bitch,
I feel like Banksy, how I'm anti on this sick shit,
Too fast, they can not catch me I'm too quick, bitch,
Oh damn, I'm way too nasty like a lynching,
Hold back, no way, I'm going with my fist in,
So sad, like this money's gonna fix things, uh


I want everything there is to have, don't say I'm wrong,
I've been through the worst and yet I'm still here, standing strong,
Step into my mind, you'll last two seconds then you're gone,
Demons in my penthouse know the words to all my songs,
Sing along if you feel it, hey
Fill it up then sip it, hey
I still got my vision, hey
Fuck it, I'll go missing, yeah yeah


Yeah, yeah, yeah! 
Niggas try tell me I'm weird,
Go run your mouth, mi nuh care,
You don't want test, you're scared,
I got more skill and it's clear,
They won't agree 'cause they're haters,
They won't agree 'cause of fear,
They wanna ask why I'm famous, I put the pain in your ear,
They all know it that I do the damage,
You can't knock me off this shit is super balancеd,
Get some sloppy toppy from my Mrs Savage,
Failurе's not an option, life is too demanding,
All these threats are solid but then nothing happens,
Let them step it up to get the heavy challenge,
In my head I'm good, I gotta keep it managed,
If I'm drinking liquor, I'ma drink a gallon


I dont need no medicine,
Keep that shit for the trembling,
Never do the welcoming,
You can hang onto the questioning,
Who you think you are bitch, go on then,
Find me something better then,
I bet you won't 'cause I'm the only one out here developing


Stay in your lane, I know where the fuck I'm going,
Keep a mask on my face, I don't need to fucking show it,
Sitting back in my cave,
Steady plotting, I'm so focused,
I still laugh at the pain,
Now my pockets overflowing

Scarlxrd - 2020 [Prod. 88VLEXX] (Fanmade)

Lyrics:


Cold ice dulls the feeling of pain,
Your tongue is like a razor blade,
The floor feels so cold, 
Especially when it's covered in blood


My skin's consumed by cuts
Most of my wounds were made by your mouth,
You don't think about the words
That are soaked in venom and hurt more,
My nerve endings are already numb


I am truly sorry,
If I made you disappointed,
But all I feel is melancholy,
You couldn't pretend for long to love me,
You couldn't pretend for long to love me,
You couldn't pretend for long to love me 


Cut me like a rose,
With sharp blades like prickly thorns,
I won't make a sound 'cause it's the pain that I deserve,
I'm no longer sure there's a way to make it even worse,
Always hoping for some warmth but it's a false hope, it's a lesson I cannot learn


I may be weak, but I'm just pouring my heart out,
I'm the one who sinks, when there are many people 'round me,
You keep calling me a freak, slap me once and yell like "shut up",
Watching me cry you find that pleasure you can't get enough of 


I wanna strangle you unconscious with a belt,
For you to just experience the same pain that I felt,
I can't just carry this heavy moral burden by myself,
You don't help me at all, you only aggravate my mental state


It's a mist in my eyes all the time when I'm weeping,
Slit my wrist, bleeding dry, blood incessantly dripping,
I can't breathe, lack of air, suffocation enslaves me,
Never been the one cared for, all that caress, wish I had it


I'm fed up with all of these promises,
That fake love and open wounds lead to nothingness
I'm that fool who can't accept that love doesn't heal the heart, but burns it...

REVELATIVN [Prod. 88VLEXX]

I'm sick of everything in this world. The music industry, the politics, the faceless people around me. They all are insignificant. Blank. As I am to them. Because nobody cared when my loved ones got hurt. Almost died. Everyone just turned a blind eye and probably forgot about it. But I'm aware now how negligent everyone is. And I'm armed from now on.

People always made me feel like my feelings make me weak. And because of that I've always tried to hide them. But it couldn't continue for years. My gears started to wobble. And with every second I can feel the moment when they break at long last. Leaving nothing but a wreck inside my ribs.


Lyrics:


Can't hear no one,
Yeah, it seems like everyone's gone,
I knew that it would be so,
Yeah, I'm all alone


But why me, I just don't know,
I've seen this thing before,
Now my mind is upside down


Please show me a way where love can be earned,
Please, untie the rope so that I can lie down


Blame me when I'm down,
Hate me when I'm hurt,
Fascinating love,
Is this what I deserve?
Ohh... 


Watch my self esteem drop,
And behind this my tears drop,
I deeply loved my angel but she bled out with her wings cropped,
Ahh, I've lost all the remnants of my true hope


I've lost you my bride,
Where have you been all this time?
My heart wasn't enough for ya,
To deserve you I must have committed suicide,
And you know, that's fine,
I... I... I don't mind...


And you know, that's fine,
I... I... I don't mind...


Can't hear no one,
Yeah, it seems like everyone's gone,
I knew that it would be so,
Yeah, I'm all alone


But why me, I just don't know,
I've seen this thing before,
Now my mind is upside down


I've lost you my bride,
Where have you been all this time?
My heart wasn't enough for ya,
To deserve you I must have committed suicide,
And you know, that's fine,
I... I... I don't mind...

Too Dependent On Love [Prod. DRAG]

My dark violent side of the soul. I'm so filled with hatred, frustration and dissolution combined to all the living people. Everyone is filled with apathy, they don't care if I die, or whether I suffer or not. My life means nothing for them so I wonder: why should their life mean anything for me?


[Prod. Razor Sharp Banana]


Lyrics:


PTSD does still haunt my ragged life,
I see another hindrance, that I cannot sympathize with,
I would do a clear manhunt for all human kind,
I've my part in this sick theater, there are just no signs of ruth that I can find


Using my instincts to track down the victim,
Gloom is my upper hand, I'm one, but I'm sneaky, 
Keep a firm grip on the plastic bag
To strangle you telic from the back


Acting cruel doesn't stop the pain,
You only aggravate this plague,
Who's the fool if you are insane?
Went through hell as I'm James Earl Cash...



I've always been an empty shell,
In this wasteland where I dwell,
I've always been an empty shell,
In this wasteland where I dwell, 
Evil flows through my veins,
It eats away all the blood,
I'm gettin' used to the pain,
It's fucking awful,
It's fucking awful

MANHUNT 3 [Prod. Razor Sharp Banana]

I still blame myself for my negligence and cold blood. Nothing changed, I'm still an emotionless psychopath bastard. Even 2 years later. I've been telling myself to watch what I say, but now I don't say anything at all. Keeping my mind shut behind millions of locks. So that no one knows I'm an immoral individual. Or am I just bluffing and pretending?


And Merry Christmas, btw. 


[Prod. JAILBREAK]


Cover art by Unknown artist (not me)


Lyrics:


I regret for what I am,
I can't fucking change myself,
I'm sorry I hurt lots of my friends,
That's why I still hate myself,
Enslaving guilt is still with me,
I doubt that I'll ever forgive myself,
I truly sorry for my negligence,
Everything I touch just incinerates


I can't learn a lesson,
Not to get attached to people,
I don't have no demons,
My true essence is pure evil,
Evil flows in my veins,
I think the problem's in my brain,
Yes, I know that I'm to blame, 
And it's like I'm walking through a minefield, a blind kitten to this day


I can't learn a lesson,
Not to get attached to people,
I don't have no demons,
MY TRUE ESSENCE IS PURE EVIL,
EVIL FLOWS IN MY VEINS,
I am tryna be humane,
SINCE MY BIRTH, I WASN'T THE SAME, 
And since then I'm pretendin' to this day...


I'm callous it's true,
I have no excuse,
The closer I get to someone, the more it hurts me to lose,
To be alone and not to harm anyone is what I choose,
It's better to suffer alone
WITHOUT HURTING THOSE AROUND...


Perhaps it will consume me from the inside like a black hole,
All my friends from the past keep turning into gray wilted shadows,
Perhaps it will consume me from the inside like a black hole,
All my friends from the past keep turning into gray wilted shadows,
My mind is my prison,
Prison, prison, prison,
Because my heart is missing,
Guilt will never leave me


I regret for what I am,
I can't fucking change myself,
I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend,
That's why I still hate myself,
Enslaving guilt is still with me,
I doubt that I'll ever forgive myself,
I truly sorry for my negligence,
Everything I touch just incinerates


I can't learn a lesson,
Not to get attached to people,
I don't have no demons,
My true essence is pure evil,
Evil flows in my veins,
I am tryna be humane,
Since my birth, I wasn't the same, 
And since then I'm pretendin' to this day...


Cora and Helen, I will never forgive myself for what I did... 
I-I am truly sorry...

CVLDHEARTED (REMAKE) [Prod. JAILBREAK]

To whoever owns this beat, if you're against this song being uploaded on SoundCloud and YT with no profit, email or pm me. I'll take this song down myself. If you don't care for my small song living then we're both good. 

Prod. SXZU

Lyrics:


I'm a murdered shell, I need to fill myself up,
I feel the warmth in hell, all my senses and organs melt down,
Evil takes its crooked shape inside my heart,
I'm tryna free myself through the scrapes,
But I'm drowning in this malign tar


I know who I really am,
For all my thoughts I'm condemned,
But in fact no one gives a single damn,
Leeches are out for blood, 
Despite all your avoidant attempts


I know who I really am,
For all my thoughts I'm condemned,
Leeches are out for blood, 
Despite all your avoidant attempts


Couldn't care much in this world that's neglectful,
My green eyes are cold sharp, I've inner issues,
People long to see my soul scarred 'cause I see the bigger picture,
There's no way the doll's hurt, no one's gonna bring you tissues


There's no way the doll is hurt
No way the doll is hurt,
No way the doll is hurt


I know who I really am,
For all my thoughts I'm condemned,
Leeches are out for blood, 
Despite all your avoidant attempts


Couldn't care much in this world that's neglectful,
My green eyes are cold sharp, I've inner issues,
People long to see my soul scarred 'cause I see the bigger picture,
There's no way the doll's hurt, no one's gonna bring you tissues, Alice Liddell


There's no way the doll is hurt
No way the doll is hurt,
No way the doll is hurt,
No way the doll is hurt


No way the doll is hurt,
No way the doll is hurt,
No way the doll is hurt,
No way the doll is hurt...

NO WAY THE DOLL IS HURT [Prod. SXZU]

EA are bvstards. That's a fact. I wish they get bankrupt to realize what they are doing right now. Cancelling a promising deep-story game but funding the same trash games with microtransactions is hideous. And upsetting for me. I love Alice and many other people around the world. But we won't have a continuation of the story. Money rules the fvcking world.

Prod. Big Yellow

Lyrics:

I have so many thoughts to say,
I feel like they little by little are driving me insane,
I can't feel a thing nowadays,
And I'm misunderstood like Alice Liddell, imprisoned in my own brain


I have so many thoughts to say,
I feel like they little by little are driving me insane,
I can't feel a thing nowadays,
And I'm misunderstood like Alice Liddell, imprisoned in my own brain


I feel like Alice Liddell, imprisoned in my own brain


Wish I could smile wide like the Cheshire cat,
I've been falling for a long time, why's there blood in wonderland?
I wasn't looking for no fight, but one sure wants my death


We're all mad here, 
I'm mad, you're mad, they're mad,
It's senseless,
All of this, shut up, 
I'm not the one who's stressed here


Guess I'll have to use my vorpal blade,
To slice and homicide my each and every enemy,
Everything collapses, there's no time to waste,
Down the rabbit hole to the catalyst of my insanity...


Can't miss the crazy tea party,
It's always six o'clock, pour the liquid in the cup,
Before that, everything's dormant,
So sorry that you're stuck, but I can't make this cycle stop


It's always six o'clock, 
Pour the liquid in the cup,
So sorry that you're stuck, but I can't make this cycle stop,
So sorry that you're stuck, but I can't make this cycle stop


I have so many thoughts to say,
I feel like they little by little are driving me insane,
I can't feel a thing nowadays,
And I'm misunderstood like Alice Liddell, imprisoned in my own brain...

Alice: Asylum [Prod. Big Yellow]

Fuck Electronic Arts. Greedy scums. 


Lyrics:


Dear Cheshire cat, fancy guiding me?
Stress pulled me into Wonderland, all boils inside of me,
I had to flee away, 
To feel like a free butterfly with wings...



I'm that Alice from a fairy tale,
Filled with malice with a scary blade,
I'm that Alice from a fairy tale,
Filled with malice with a scary blade



I suppose 
There's not much space within my skull,
Too much noise, I feel constrained, 
You say my head requires a hole?



I'm not kidding, 
I feel metal in my mouth when I'm bleeding,
Unable to erase what I felt like when I was beaten,
Dear Cheshire cat, please, narrate me some soothing wisdom...



I'm that Alice from a fairy tale,
Filled with malice with a scary blade,
I'm that Alice from a fairy tale,
Filled with malice with a scary blade



I suppose 
There's not much space within my skull,
Too much noise, 
I feel constrained, you say my head requires a hole?


It really does...

Cvld Blvvded - Interlude [Prod. BeatGrounds]

Give no fucks about anyone. Be yourself and don't ever think you're bad just because you're different from others. You're always special and that's your distinctive feature. 

And I know how bad my vocals here are and I don't really care. I put more thoughts on lyrics since I don't have a beautiful voice - all I can do is scream my lungs out. And I enjoy doing it.


Prod. by Systematik.


Lyrics: 


I chew on your words,
They get into my ears
And run all the way straight to my spinal cord,
You've nothing to fear,
Your silky hair is not an ashtray, don't forget it, girl
Don't forget it, girl



I chew on your words,
They get into my ears
And run all the way straight to my spinal cord,
You've nothing to fear,
Your silky hair is not an ashtray, don't forget it, girl
Don't forget it, girl



Your heart is like vivid caramel,
So delicate in taste and easy to melt,
Your heart is blind and yet flammable,
I assure that you can share with me all that you've felt



They just talk nonsense,
Darling, don't lose your conscience,
I know this pain is constant,
But trust me, darkness is always noxious 



Feeling like in a strait-waistcoat,
It's silly to hope for any pity,
They make you think you're the one who's messed up,
It's killing you slowly, gradually, surely



They poke at your flaws, but think that they're perfect,
Just reveal your claws, patience is inappropriate here,
I'll give you sterile gloves in case things get dirty,
That's alright, darling,
Things will get dirty



No matter what,
I'll never let you feel lonely,
We're stronger than them,
Soon you will see them all running



It's been slushy for a long time, but soon it will be sunny,
Just look into my eyes, right through their depths, I wanna make you smile and upbeat



Your heart is like vivid caramel,
So delicate in taste and easy to melt,
Your heart is blind and yet flammable,
I assure that you can share with me all that you've felt...



Reveal Them Your True Self, Darling (x8)

Reveal Them Your True Self, Darling [Prod. Systematik]

I know this beat was bought by someone but I don't earn a thing from this song. I just want it to be heard and nothing commercial. If you, KNGX, or the owner of this beat has something against this song being public - just dm me.

P.S. Svicide is bad. Don't doubt it. I just express my concealed thoughts that have been gathering for a long period of time; they wouldn't go away so I gave them a way out.


Lyrics:

I keep living in my mind,
Just avoiding tension in real life, 
And you believe that I'm alright,
Though I'm lying all the time


This is just what you wanted,
A demonstrative performance,
I look around like I'm being haunted, 
But, ahh, I'm worrying 'bout incorrect things


I dream of a blinding long tunnel,
The end of which cannot be seen,
I unwittingly fell into a caustic funnel,
And now you're wondering why I'm sinking?


Don't worry, I'm fine,
I've safely hidden what's inside my mind,
Thanks for sewing up my mouth in shape of feigned smile,
Please just pretend to be absolutely blind


There's no pulse inside my chest,
Live like I've a choice, like I myself can choose the death,
But unfortunately it's not, 
So I'm doomed to stay depressed,
Got some issues, I'm annoyed, 
I've got too many feelings seething that I can't express


Everything I loved is dead,
I've no more emotions left,
And it keeps frustrating me,
Yes, it definitely affected me heavily

The way you torture me is art,
I fell right on your hook, your charm,
The way you torture me is art, 
I fell right on your hook, your charm


Look what you have turned me into,
All I want now is to bleach my eyes,
You've always been the tumor of my mental issues,
Seems like my soul's been sacrificed


I hate you 'cause of myself because I love you, 
I just can't stop loving you because in fact I hate you


I love you 'cause I hate myself, but in fact I hate you,  
I hate you 'cause of myself because I blindly love you,
I hate you 'cause of myself because I truly love you, 
I just can't stop loving you because in fact I hate you


You're the main reason,
Of my suicidal tendencies,
You're the main reason,
Of my suicidal tendencies,
You're the main reason,
Of my suicidal tendencies,
You're the main reason,
Of my suicidal tendencies


I keep living in my mind,
Just avoiding tension in real life, 
And you believe that I'm alright,
Though I'm lying all the time


Once again I find myself buried in the snow,
I can't feel my heart, it feels like it's stopped,
Once again I find myself buried in the snow,
I can't feel my heart, it feels like it's stopped


Once again I find myself buried in the snow,
I can't feel my heart, it feels like it's stopped,
Once again I find myself buried in the snow,
I can't feel my heart, it feels like it's stopped


You're the main reason,
Of my suicidal tendencies...

SVICIDAL TENDENCIES [Prod. KNGX Beats]

No god. Only unlimited will.


Lyrics:


Get ready for debauchery, lewdness, naughtiness and most importantly: satisfaction 



Lady, you may sit on my lap,
However, if you like to be on top, 
I will not mind being slapped,
I'm showering you with sweet talk for now



Love will flow once one of us gets stabbed,
It's love as well,
Frenzied as hell,
We're all hollow shells 
In this dissolute paradise where we dwell,
Oh, can't you tell?



Crawl on the floor like a spineless maggot,
So pure and horny, with no moral barriers, naked,
If you've something in your heart 
Then just whisper or explain it



You could crush me with your high heel

But you're a coy and pliant lady,
How does it feel to be the longed-for candy?
Unique, standing out from others blending,
Sounds amazing



I peer right through your perverted nature,
You've lost everything that was once precious,
You're desperate, seizing every piece of attention,
Living in masquerade, you sprawl before guilty pleasure



You spread your legs like arms for a hug,
So badly you beg me to fuck, oh, gently,
Looks like this is your first sex, 
Oh you're in shock



Be careful because-
Love will flow once one of us gets stabbed,
It's love as well,
Frenzied as hell,
We're all hollow shells in this dissolute paradise where we dwell,
Oh, can't you tell?



Oh, can't you tell?
It's love as well,
Frenzied as hell...

HENTAI LORD [Prod. FROZENWITCHES]

I try to pour my thoughts and feelings through the songs. Recording them makes my life more meaningful and less empty.

I'm listening to trap metal music and rock.

CVLD BLVVDED

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