Tramatized at Lucci

lyrics:
I left the window wide open tonight,
just in case someone walks by
and mistakes me for somebody worth noticing.
Crazy, right?
I used to think being quiet made me deep.
Turns out it just made me forgettable.
Turns out I’m the guy people walk through
like smoke
they never even breathe in.

I wave at my own reflection sometimes
to practice being a person.
It waves back like it pities me.
Even my shadow’s been looking for ways
to leave early.


If anyone’s looking
I’m right here.
Still breathing,
still breaking,
still begging for a pair of eyes
that doesn’t skip past me.
If anyone’s looking
I swear I’m trying.
I swear I exist.
I swear I’m more than the empty chair
everyone avoids sitting next to.

I tell jokes to the walls
because at least they stay to hear them.
I talk to the ceiling
like God owes me a refund.
And every time I say “I’m fine,”
my voice cracks like it’s sick of lying.
You’d think someone would notice,
but no
I guess invisibility looks good on me.

I asked the sky a question today.
It answered by pretending
it didn’t hear me.
Even the universe has priorities
and apparently I’m not one.

If anyone’s looking
hey, I’m still here.
Stumbling around in my own skin
hoping someone asks my name
before I forget it myself.
If anyone’s looking
I’ve got a heart
that keeps breaking itself open
just to prove it’s still working.

Sometimes I practice being loved
by holding my own arms,
pretending they’re someone else’s.
Sometimes I practice being wanted
by imagining a knock on the door
that never comes.

So if anyone’s looking…
I’ll leave the light on.
Not because I expect you
but because I’m terrified
no one ever will.

If Anyone’s Looking

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