Another rough scratch track for a new song I'm working on! It's called 'Disappear' and talks about the desire to be seen while also wanting to be invisible; how vulnerability is terrifying and self-sabotage rears its ugly head. I wrestle a lot with wanting to express myself while also being terrified of being witnessed. Maybe this speaks to you too?

LYRICS:

Got so much to say
But I can’t seem to say it
I open my mouth
But nothing comes out

It’s like I owe God a debt
But I can’t seem to pay it
Like I slept 
but forgot what my dreams were about

It’s like I’m trapped and I don’t have a choice
And I get frightened when I hear my voice

CHORUS
I don’t want you to look at me
But I want to be seen
Be everywhere but be nowhere
Do you know what I mean?

I don’t want you to listen
But I want you to hear
I want to be famous
but anonymous
With my name in lights
But also to disappear
Disappear


VERSE 2
I dreamed that a man
might come by and save me
If I were just perfect
then I couldn’t fail

But when I finally received
What the universe gave me
I’d held my breath so long
That it hurt to exhale

And if it all goes south I won’t feel cursed
If I self-sabotage and end it first

CHORUS
I don’t want him to look at me
But I want to be chased
I reach out for affection
And then cover my face

I cry out of happiness
I cry out of fear
If I can name all the things that are wrong
Before someone else
Then it won’t hurt so bad
When I watch it disappear
Disappear

[interlude]

They say good things come to those who wait.
What if I wait too long and it’s too late?

[CHORUS 1]

Disappear - *Scratch track*

This was my final project for my arranging class at Berklee when I went for a bucket list year as a 'geriatric freshman' for a second bachelor's at 34 😂. Our task was to take a song and make a cover of it in a different musical style and I was pretty pleased with how it came out, considering I am not well-versed in recording tools/mixing/etc. I did all vocals and all instruments are played by me via midi keyboard (including drums, oh lord be gentle on me...hahah).

Roll to Me (Del Amitri Cover)

I'm a pianist, musical theatre composer, artist, writer, and closet puppeteer spreading as much joy as possible through music, art, and silly videos.

Disappear - Scratch track

Lesley Anderson

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