this isn't working - partial demo (prod. by pink)

08.05.2022

lyrics: 
you know that when i said things were easier 
did you know i was lying through my teeth 
and you know how you said you believed in me 
that i could push through, power through, accomplish everything 

but how am i supposed to do all that when I'm sleeping wide awake 

the moon has failed me once again 
it has me confused with its long lost friend 
conversations about the end 
leave me restless, and its all in my head 

going through the motions as the one you used to know 
eyes glazed over, shapeless, unrecognizable 
life got the best of me, ive never been worse
melatonin day dreams, my entire future feels cursed

so how am i supposed to do anything when i'm sleeping wide awake 

the moon has failed me once again 
it has me confused with its long lost friend
conversations about the end 
leave me restless and its all in my head 

(if i could sleep, i would)

the moon has failed me once again 
it has me confused with its long lost friend 
conversations about the end 
leave me restless and its all in my head

sleeping wide awake - demo (prod. by matthew may)

still yours - demo (prod. by matthew may)

19.03.2023

lyrics:
whispering silly things
thinking nothing matters in the world
besides you and me
staining all our fingertips
eating blackberries and toast
saying that anything goes
finger-painted memories
dancing around lines we haven’t drawn
between you and me
skin now a shade of blue
a lovely view

starlight candies
never fade away
taste so sweet

blackberries, i can’t seem to say it
blackberries, always on the tip of my tongue
always in the back of my mind
blackberries, i can’t seem to shake it
my heart is beating loud, can you hear this
i can’t seem to find the right words to say what’s on my mind

five minutes, stars are spinning, it’s so dizzying
see the fallen leaves, the turning trees
a small blue jay on a broken branch
four, the touch of your skin
lying on the grass, warm sunshine
tinted lips pressed up against mine
three times over
i should’ve known better
i could hear it in your voice, your words
the music that you’d play
the two of us 
mixed up among the 
scents long washed away

starlight candies
never fade away
taste so sweet

blackberries, i can’t seem to say it
blackberries, always on the tip of my tongue
always in the back of my mind
blackberries, i can’t seem to shake it
my heart is beating loud, can you hear this
i can’t seem to find the right words to say what’s on my mind

holding back, i chose to keep quiet
afraid to mess things up
and lose everything that i have

blackberries, i can’t seem to say it
blackberries, always on the tip of my tongue
always in the back of my mind
blackberries, i can’t seem to shake it
my heart is beating loud, can you hear this
i can’t seem to find the right words to say what’s on my mind

blackberries - demo (prod. by matthew may)

19.04.2023

lyrics:
Oh darling, you're far too young
A beautiful song left unsung
Your light, it shines brighter than the stars
Above us all in the absence of the sun
Your pain went unnoticed
But your loss is everywhere
Would it have made a difference
Without that weight to bear

Oh darling, like the spring that's yet to bloom
We loved your light that you assumed
To help us through the night and our own gloom
We are surely missing you

Oh darling, you held on so patiently
I’m sorry, I didn’t see this coming
Burdened by the weight of the moon
Realizing that you’ll never see June
Again, why did it have to be you
Why did it have to be you

Oh darling, like the spring that's yet to bloom
We loved your light that you assumed
To help us through the night and our own gloom
We are surely missing you 

You shined so bright, it’s hard to notice
Dimming light, how could I have missed it
Looking back, you gave the signs
Missed calls in the middle of the night
I tried to fight the fright
Knowing you were not alright

Oh darling, like the spring that's yet to bloom
We loved your light that you assumed
To help us through the night and our own gloom
We are surely missing you 

How many tears do I have left
If I run out, would I be losing you
I don’t care how long they last
As long as I keep holding onto you
How many days til you’re in the past
I’d hate to live if I can’t remember you
I’m missing you

weight on your shoulders (holding the moon) - demo (prod. by bezimenimusic)

16.04.2023

lyrics:
wait, let me catch my breath
finding it hard to fit in
to these standards 
that want me thin
it’s killing me
that it’s something i’ll never be
i know it’s just a number
but i can’t help but let it control
how i’m feeling
standing by myself
i can’t even tell who i am anymore
unrecognized reflection

i wanna feel beautiful, not worry about what i eat
how much is enough, will i ever be where i want to be
i wanna look in the mirror, feel safe in what i see
i'm too insecure, broken, scarred, nothing that i want to be
is it nothing more than a dream

why is it so hard to love myself
when others around me have 
no problem doing it themselves
i’m sick of feeling guilty when i look at myself
does the problem start with me
is that why it’s hard to breathe
when i start to think how i can change
everything that i hate about me

i wanna feel beautiful, not worry about what i eat
how much is enough, will i ever be where i want to be
i wanna look in the mirror, feel safe in what i see
i'm too insecure, broken, scarred, nothing that i want to be
is it nothing more than a dream

want to be - demo (prod. by kingtheta)

10.06.2023

lyrics:
i thought i knew where i would be by now
i was so wrong
i watched my dreams remain as seeds
never growing strong
was it the lack of sunlight, conversations
loneliness
or was it just a combination of it all

i thought i knew what i’d call home
but oh i was so wrong
the walls caved in, the windows broke
foundation never strong
was it the lack of trust, or too much love to fill the
emptiness
or was it none of the above

i know i should let go of my expectations
of what i thought would be a perfect situation
even the stars up above have limitations
oh just how far can they go

homesickness (or lack thereof)
what i’d give to have a home to miss when i’m gone
homesickness (or lack thereof)
i wouldn’t hesitate to give the world to know how it feels just once

i wish i knew how it would feel to leave it all behind
moving on, growing up, my future was defined
but something wasn’t right, was it my life, it all felt like a lie
how can it end when it never even begun
i was waiting for you to set me free
but you were never ready to let me be someone on my own
unable to recognize what i once called home

i know you were acting out of desperation
but all you did was keep me in isolation
leaving me with nothing but my imagination
oh just how far can i run

homesickness (or lack thereof)
what i’d give to have a home to miss when i’m gone
homesickness (or lack thereof)
i wouldn’t hesitate to give the world to know how it feels just once

love me like you thought you did
shelter me, you overdid it

homesickness (or lack thereof)
what i’d give for you to feel like (home)
homesickness (or lack thereof)
i wouldn’t hesitate to give the world to know how it feels just once

homesickness (or lack thereof) - demo (prod. by matthew may)

Harmonic Soar

Harmonic Soar (ft. Mochajay)

Just Us Two [Demo] (prod. by Jacob Vallen)

an unusual upload from me... but here's a verse I added to monsta x's 'the dreaming'. I've been having fun writing original verses to some of my favorite songs. 

my lyrics:
(I was lost chasing my dream)
Show me how to spread my wings and fly
Past galaxies, ’til the end of time
(Looked around to find it’s only me)
Will you smile like it was worth the ride
As if shadows have never blocked your light
Did you ever look back
Did you ever stop trying
Did you ever think to reflect on how fast you’re flying away
Oh tell me, oh tell me

If I had a verse on MONSTA X 'The Dreaming'

here's another original verse in an alternate reality where I've been featured on the track! the full cover + verse is on my YouTube channel

https://youtu.be/JhTgjHJo2Ss

my lyrics:
you got overflowing charisma
look you in the eyes, all i see is an enigma
i can’t even tell what you’re thinking
but the way you’re charming
gave me something to believe in
we could be something
like a scene that’s in the movies
the ones that make the world stop
as if nothing else exists
tell me how you do it
tell me if i’m picking up the vibes that you’re into it
tell me we’re the only ones feeling so magnetic
oh! we could be magic

Just Us Two [Demo] (prod. by Jacob Vallen)

Lyria

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