Every morning it’s like I’m putting on a costume
Gotta hide so they don’t see through me
My abilities are my biggest insecurity
Weight of the world, it falls on me
Every morning it’s like I’m putting on a costume

Think I’m not as good as I am
My doubts they keep creeping in
I know I’m so self limiting
I live in my head with Imposter syndrome 

At night I lie awake thinking bout my future mistakes
Don’t really know if I can do anything
Maybe I’m discrediting myself, but I can’t help it
Killing me, I’m my own worst enemy
At night I lie awake thinking bout my future mistakes

Think I’m not as good as I am
My doubts they keep creeping in
I know I’m so self limiting
I live in my head with Imposter syndrome 

Think I’m not as good as I am
My doubts they keep creeping in
I know I’m so self limiting
I live in my head with Imposter syndrome

Imposter Syndrome (Demo) - FAWM 2022

He says speak up but not too much
Be gentle and use your feminine touch
Watch your tone, it’s too rough
Insubordination, not a good look
If you smiled more it wouldn’t hurt
‘Cause you need to be more likable
It’s the weekend, why don’t you show up?
I’m not there, but it’s your job
You’re pretty charming but you have a sharp tongue
With a body like yours you should soften up 

But I won’t be soft for you
I won’t be talked down to
I’m a smart enough person to know what’s going on
Won’t feed a fragile ego when I know somebody’s wrong
So wrong, so wrong

I’m silenced for now but if I could speak
What I’d say is, “You’re so ******* weak.”
A real man to me wears his heart on his sleeve
In that regard, I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be

I’m more of a man
More of a man
More of a man than you’ll ever be
I’m more of a man
More of a man
More of a man than you’ll ever be

I won’t be soft for you
I won’t be talked down to
I’m a smart enough person to know what’s going on
Won’t feed a fragile ego when I know somebody’s wrong
So wrong, so wrong
So wrong, so wrong
So wrong, so wrong, so wrong
So wrong, so wrong, so wrong

More of a Man (Demo) - FAWM 2022

Do you ever feel like you’re swimming in the sea
And a current pulls you out?
Do you ever panic like it’s the end?
And like you’re gonna drown?

Because that’s what it’s like to be young now
That’s what it’s like to be young now

Do you ever feel like you need to be rescued
And nobody’s there to help?
Do you ever feel so lost and alone
Like you’re never gonna be found?

Because that’s what it’s like to be young now
That’s what it’s like to be young now
What it’s like to be young now
What it’s like to be young now

To be Young Now (Demo) - FAWM 2022

I don’t like the cold rain in winter
When the legs of my trousers get so gross and soggy
Socks freeze up and turn to slush
I’m so done with this
The winter really sucks
Eczema gets my skin so itchy
My nose is bleeding all the time
The heater feels nice
But not the dry air inside
Can winter be over already?

I want it to be the summer
Wanna stay at the beach forever
Sun on my face
Float in the ocean water
Best friends with me
Summer dreams

Brunch on Sundays when it’s 80 degrees
We dine al fresco, my treat
Bottomless mimosas, a bit tipsy after but
Doesn’t really matter
We have the whole summer ahead
No intrusive dark thoughts
Just the light of the day and
We have each other
Everything’s okay
Finally

I want it to be the summer
Wanna stay at the beach forever
Sun on my face
Float in the ocean water
Best friends with me
Summer dreams

Summer dreams
Summer dreams
Come sooner
Come sooner
Can the winter please be over?

Summer Dreams (Demo) - FAWM 2022

When we first meet you see my body
I don’t see you how you see me
That’s not a bad thing
But try to understand
I need to have feelings
Before I see your body
Nobody has patience
Won’t meet me halfway
Don’t give up on me
I want somebody to love me
Love me
Love me

I can’t cope
It really hurts
Walking a tightrope
Without support
I come close
But not enough
Crave human connection
Human connection

I wanna know your passions
And all of your secrets
I wanna know your favorite songs
(Please don’t say mine!)
I want something wholesome
And something real
Let it be authentic
And on our own terms
But right now I’m all alone
All alone

I can’t cope
It really hurts
Walking a tightrope
Without support
I come close
But not enough
Crave human connection
Human connection

Human connection
Human connection
Human connection
Human connection

Human Connection (Demo) - FAWM 2022

Feels like I’m extraterrestrial
From the cosmos
Because I’m so disconnected
Brain off the grid
Like I speak a different language
Gotta blend in and play pretend
So the people don’t know who I am
If they knew they wouldn’t understand it
No, they wouldn’t understand it

Not a boy, not a girl
Out of this world
Not a boy, not a girl
Out of this world

Some people are so obsessed with me
And how I identify
An everyday celebrity
Talk about me and my life
Like it’s the most concerning thing
But no need to be controlling
There’s space for me existing
And you know, it’s not my personality
This is just me being me

Not a boy, not a girl
Out of this world
Not a boy, not a girl
Out of this world

Not a boy, not a girl
Out of this world
Not a boy, not a girl
Out of this world

Out of This World (Demo) - FAWM 2022

I’m bored on a Saturday night
Swipe right and we talk for a while
I answer your questions and you answer mine
You give me your number and I give you mine 
Half the time I won’t remember your name
Or recognize your face
Not a contact in my phone
I know you’ll be another ghost
But we’ll still talk and learn about each other’s lives
I am available
You share intimate details
But that doesn’t mean I’ll settle 

Dominance, submission
Surrender, protection
Settle or be single
Cynic or romantic
Love is disillusionment

As for those I actually meet
Same situation on repeat
True intentions are exposed
No surprise to me at all
I’m like an exotic animal at the zoo
A personal plaything to abuse
And you say you wanna be my muse?
No thanks, I refuse
Think I’m emotional because I make music?
Typecast as a “spicy woman”
You know nothing, please stop talking
No assumptions, you’ve already lost me

Dominance, submission
Surrender, protection
Settle or be single
Cynic or romantic
Love is disillusionment

Dominance, submission
Surrender, protection
Settle or be single
Cynic or romantic
Love is disillusionment

Love Is Disillusionment (Demo) FAWM 2022

Lost my job after giving it my all
A life of devotion turned to nothing
Sell your soul and you’re still forgotten

Hard work means nothing if you’re not lucky

Greed and a personal vendetta
Cast aside for a replacement
Pay them less and work them to death

Hard work means nothing if you’re not lucky

Now some days I wanna stay in bed
Cry until there’s no sunlight left
And I think, why should I even try?

Hard work means nothing if you’re not lucky

Blue sky always turns to black
Orange haze, city overcast
Like the stars, my potential is missed

Hard work means nothing if you’re not lucky

All I want is a safety net
Is that too much to ask?
In the US the answer is always yes

Hard work means nothing if you’re not lucky
Hard work means nothing if you’re not lucky
Hard work means nothing if you’re not lucky
Hard work means nothing if you’re not lucky

If You’re Not Lucky (Demo) - FAWM 2022

This is a collaborative song by myself and Pendrop Poet.

Pendrop Poet: Vocals, Guitars, Lyrics
Cloud Color: Vocals, Bass, Lyrics (mostly lyric edits)

[PENDROP POET]
Pretty people party to the same old beat
Media taught us to move their feet
Figures need to tell them how to shake their stuff
Nobody told them they can find their own strut
Corporate synergy of fashion and class
Algorithm programs how to shake our ass
The movies show us how our clothes should be cut
Nobody told us to exceed expectations
Exceed expectations

Is this really how the rules should be?
‘Cause it seems they weren’t written for me
I love glitter, high heels and graphic tees
The rules weren’t made for people like me

[CLOUD COLOR]
People like me
People like me
The rules weren’t made for people like me
Wanna be seen but not perceived
The rules weren’t made for people like me
People like me
People like me
The rules weren’t made for people like me
Wanna be seen but not perceived
The rules weren’t made for people like me

[PENDROP POET]
Parents assigning gender roles at birth
Saying girls should play with dolls while a boy can play sports
We’re just following the same old guide
Anyone straying feels like they have to hide
Put on your costume and fall in line 
Follow dress code, compromise
If we detour in society’s eyes we can wave it all goodbye
Well, goodbye to conformity
Goodbye to the roles
Goodbye to you telling us where to go
Goodbye to gender
Goodbye to class
Goodbye and kiss my enby ass


[CLOUD COLOR]
People like me
People like me
The rules weren’t made for people like me
Wanna be seen but not perceived
The rules weren’t made for people like me
People like me
People like me
The rules weren’t made for people like me
Wanna be seen but not perceived
The rules weren’t made for people like me

[PENDROP POET]
Can I dance in heels? 
Can I rock a dress?
Never liked being told who I should be
Can I dance in heels? 
Can I rock a dress?
I’m the only one who can tell me how to 
How to exceed expectations
How to exceed expectations

Is this really how the rules should be?
‘Cause it seems they weren’t written for me
I love glitter, high heels and graphic tees
The rules weren’t made for people like me

[CLOUD COLOR]
People like me
People like me
The rules weren’t made for people like me
Wanna be seen but not perceived
The rules weren’t made for people like me
People like me
People like me
The rules weren’t made for people like me
Wanna be seen but not perceived
The rules weren’t made for people like me

People Like Me (Demo) - FAWM 2022

This is a collaborative song by myself and Groove Temple.

The next big conspiracy is in the canal right off Smith Street
Brooklyn, NYC
Last place you’d expect a mystery
Below the chemical film 
In the cancer-causing goo
Is a cryptid that will consume you
A slimy octopod that occupies a body of water so vile
It’s a superfund site

Sludgy brown with 12 green eyes
Low oxygen makes it hard to survive
Only one could possibly thrive

There’s a monster in the Gowanus!
A creature in the canal!
Lurking in the deadly pathogens
The monster can be found
There’s a monster in the Gowanus!
A creature in the canal!
In the pollution all around
The monster can be found

Look at the news past the foul fumes
People making moves
Luxury condos with expensive views
Beyond the swill pond 
And bacteria unidentified
Construction of a new skyline
The kraken’s cousin still waits to be heard
From the depths where it lurks

The water that once caught fire
After rain raw sewage would rise
Only one could possibly thrive

There’s a monster in the Gowanus!
A creature in the canal! 
Lurking in the deadly pathogens
The monster can be found
There’s a monster in the Gowanus!
A creature in the canal!
In the pollution all around
The monster can be found

There's a Monster in the Gowanus! (Demo) - FAWM 2022

Do you remember that party 
At your house on Bay Street?
It was a chilly September evening 
When you told my best friend you loved me
I didn’t wanna go home
Didn’t wanna be alone
You told me your roommate could give me a ride
But you’d rather I stay the night

That’s when I made the assumption
The assumption that what we had was something
I believed your intentions
But then you left my heart broken

You led me on
So I made this stupid song
To let you know I’ll be the one who got away
(You’ll never forget me)  
I’ll be the one who got away
(You’ll never forget me)  
I’ll be the one who got away
(You’ll never forget me)  
I’ll be the one who got away
(You’ll never forget me)  

Do you remember when you told me
Your dreams to be somebody?
“Kind of Blue" was on repeat 
Before we fell asleep
You didn’t tell me to leave
Didn’t say what you mean
‘Caus suddenly you left me behind
The biggest regret of your life

Now I’m here in the city
I know you think a lot about me
You’re watching my story
And I’m everything you wanted to be

You led me on
So I made this stupid song
To let you know I’ll be the one who got away
(You’ll never forget me)  
I’ll be the one who got away
(You’ll never forget me)  
I’ll be the one who got away
(You’ll never forget me)  
I’ll be the one who got away

The One (Who Got Away) (Demo) - 50/90 Challenge 2022

What a monstrosity. This will not be up here for long!!! I just need to post to meet the requirement for FAWM.

Lyrics:

Softboi plays back rooms at the bars
With his boy band he strums on his guitar 
Telling everybody he’s from Brooklyn   
But what he really means is a small town outside Cleveland

We’ve been together for three months
I think he’s in love, I think he’s in love
But I’m not ready to commit to a love like this
Oh I, I I swore away members of boy bands
Never again

And when he tells me the band is breaking up
And he wants to focus on us
I’m like what the fuck?
(What the fuck)
I say “I understand, I understand if you wanna go solo”
“But I, oh I, I won’t be your Yoko Ono.” 

Bushwick boyband breakup
And I, oh I am the reason
Bushwick boyband breakup
It was an accident!
Didn’t mean to become an obsession

Indie boy burns incense in his room
Too much vinyl for his own good
And I know he’s obsessed with me
But I don’t know why he says he’s in love with me

I’m not ready to commit to a love like this
Oh I, I I swore away members of boy bands
Never again

Even though you broke the boy band up
I won’t, I won’t be your Courtney Love
Self destruct   

Bushwick boyband breakup
And I, oh I am the reason
Bushwick boyband breakup
It was an accident!
Didn’t mean to become an obsession

So please don’t waste any more of my time
Baby, bye, bye, bye

Bushwick boyband breakup
And I, oh I am the reason
Bushwick boyband breakup
It was an accident!
Didn’t mean to become an obsession

Bushwick Boyband Breakup (Demo) - FAWM 2023

I know a witch bitch
I think she hexed me
Nothing’s ever right whenever she’s around me
She’s a witch bitch
I think she cursed me
Endless bad luck ever since she met me

Ever since she met me
Ever since she met me

She’s a witch bitch
Always plays the victim
Bloodsucking sorceress with no self-awareness
She’s a witch bitch
Everybody knows it
Gotta purge her out, she can’t kill my spirit

Toxic venom 
In her potions
She makes me drink them, I’m dissociating
Here’s my firstborn
To appease her
When that’s not enough I guess I’ll give my kidney

She’s a witch bitch
Always plays the victim
Bloodsucking sorceress with no self-awareness
She’s a witch bitch
Everybody knows it
Gotta purge her out, she can’t kill my spirit

She didn’t burn a bridge, she nuked it
Big explosions, grand delusions
Out of proportion, lack of reason
She ought to take a look in the mirror

She’s a witch bitch
Always plays the victim
Bloodsucking sorceress with no self-awareness
She’s a witch bitch
Everybody knows it
Gotta purge her out, she can’t kill my spirit

Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!
Purge the witch bitch!

Purge the Witch Bitch! (Demo) - FAWM 2023

Cloud Color (They/Them) is a classically trained bassoon player turned one-person synth-pop band. Based in Brooklyn, New York, Cloud Color records and produces music from their bedroom utilizing instruments ranging from analog synthesizers to guitars to woodwinds. Their music is informed by–but not dictated by–their foundation in classical music.

Cloud Color

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