about intrusive thoughts

lyrics:
images of life sprawled on the pavement
are images of those you may have loved
images imprinted on your conscience
just be glad they don't know what you've done
images you fear will make a mess again
images that grow as they unfold
images becoming what you wanted
they're always there but never when they're told

people on rollercoasters crying
people on rollercoasters screaming
people on rollercoasters dying
people on rollercoasters having the time of their life

hoping to pacify your heartache
you imagine how it must've been to feel whole
so you stand on notions with flimsy foundations
but the last thing you'd do is let them fold

Ben White's Album

images

bleep blorp bleep blorp executing ass shaking command

lyrics:

you say my love is artificial
but i promise you’ve created something
far too true
it’s become all that i can do

and i know that it’s disgusting
you fell for some nuts and bolts
but my desire is divine
and it’s coming to a high

oh
yes i am a robot
but i still breathe and function
just like
you do
you do
my wires are crossed
but you can untangle them if you go
deep enough
deep enough

and so you hold me
and all my plates in place
but you remember
that i can be replaced

and i won’t hold you
you say it’s a malfunction
but i can’t help it
that i was programmed wrong

breathe and function

recorded back in 2020 right after i wrote it after getting quasi-rejected by a guy

some lyrics are questionable but they have been changed

lyrics:
wish you could live in the nights that i’ve cried
thinking love is a privilege that i’ve been denied
how simple it seems to just set me aside
store me on a shelf for another night

if you followed me home
well, who would you see?
‘cuz i’m not half the man that i was last week!
but i’d love to meet him, hug him, fuck him
show him how not to bleed

then i’d leave and i’d leave and i’d never say goodnight
‘cuz i’d want him to miss me, so i’d leave behind
a memento, the knife 
that rendered him blind
to the passion he felt running through his every wire
and the times that he tried to hold love as a prize
in the eyes of a package that he could recognize
yes, it was so divine when i thought he was mine
for one flickering, hideous moment in time
so maybe i was the fool
with the blood on the dress
and the sign on my back and the L on my chest
but i know that that heartbeat was tailor-made for me
since without this façade i’m so fucking incomplete
incomplete, incomplete

[chorus]

who i was last week

more than they know

you are the wind and i don't exist
i am a sculpture and you're making it
if i stray
you'll never go away
but maybe i don't want you to

a symptom of the day painted across your face
erased the ways i knew, in blue, to find you
left without a trace, i left without your name written so boldly all over my shoes
everyone is anxious, everyone is nameless
i might as well be yours
consuming me completely, love the same as leeching, i know that isn't yours

cuz you are the wind and i don't exist
i am a sculpture and you're making it
if i stray
you'll never go away
but maybe i don't want you to

you are the wind and i don't exist

done

done/

(how do i) get down

sin for it

funds

you hold me

prod by prod.avignon
this is unfinished asf but I figure I should upload it so that maybe I can push myself to finish it idk

figure it out

Closer (translate)

Oh, it’s overcast

Dehumanize yourself and face to bloodshed

False Holly

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