Australia had the honour of being the most underwhelming participant the underwhelming  COP 26 in Glasgow. It would be nice to be at least whelming for a change.
Music by Ritchie Blackmore, Ian Gillan, Roger Glover, Jon Lord, and Ian Paice
Lyrics by Mark Henley with Craig Memery and Dean Lombard
Instruments, vocals, and recording by Dean Lombard

We all went down to Glasgow
On the Clyde River shoreline 
To keep warming to one point five
We don't have much time
But ScoMo and the Nationals
were shouting all around
"technology not taxes”
And “bury CO2 in the ground

Smoke on the water
(carbon in the sky)
Smoke on the water

They trash talked the UN’s research
Replaced policy with slogans
Selling off our future
To coal and gas mining bogans
Looks like when it’s all over
We’ll have to find another place
Cos our time is running out
And this is not not a race

Smoke on the water
(carbon in the sky)
Smoke on the water

We ended with the Glasgow Climate Pact
Hopelessly compromised
Turns out less is not always more
It barely gets us just to two point five 
We’ll be burning coal and clearing trees
And nobody seems to know
That we gotta do more to get out of this
Than kick the can down the road

Smoke on the water
(carbon in the sky)
Smoke on the water

Smoke On The Water (Carbon In The Sky)

The gas-fired recovery… seems right up there with healthy junk food and a cheap, quick and good project.
Music by Jagger/Richards
Lyrics by Mark Henley with Craig Memery and Dean Lombard
Instruments, vocals, and recording by Dean Lombard

It’s sucked up from the stifling desert heat
It was fracked through punctured aquifer leak
And it’s all right now, it’s fossil fuel gas
And it’s all right, climate hack Gus
Loves his gas, gas, gas

It‘ll burn, carbon captured, and buried in the ground
No emissions, if you don’t look too far around. 
Oh it’s all right now, it’s a fossil fuel gas
And it’s all right now, climate hack Gus
Loves his gas, gas, gas

COVID recovery’s led by men with Power
And they swear that gas will save the hour
Won’t admit that ‘green’ energy makes industry flower
Yeah yeah, yeah
Says the new game in town is hydrogen power
So its alright now, its not a gas
And its all right now, climate hack Gus
Loves his gas, gas, gas

Climate hack Gus, loves his gas
Climate hack Gus, loves his gas
Climate hack Gus, loves his gas
Climate hack Gus, loves his gas
Climate hack Gus, loves his gas
Climate hack Gus, loves his gas

Climate Hack Gus (Loves His Gas Gas Gas)

The 2022 Australian energy policy parody song. Enjoy!

Lyrics
(Community perspective)
Is this the real price? Is this just fantasy?
Energy markets seem divorced from reality.
With tears in our eyes, we look to the ACCC...
I'm a consumer, we need some sympathy
Can’t you see our bills, watch them go, always high, never low
Even when the wind blows! Oh it's really shattering to me, poor me

(Bowen's lament)
Albo, we just killed the NEM
Put the spot market to bed, the gas trigger overhead
Albo, our term has just begun
And now the investors have all turned away
Albo, ooooh, We may as well cap the price 
I bet they'll all be back again tomorrow 
And carry on, carry on
Cos they're still getting fatter 

(Govt perspective)
It's not too late, the time has come
There's a nation to rewire, power stations to retire
Hang on, everybody, gotta give it a go
Gotta leave the deniers behind and face the truth
Albo, ooh (how are you with the left faction)
Why not nationalise, we can’t let SEC Dan have it all

(Losing perspective)
I see a little Integrated System Plan
HydroGEN HydroGEN will you do a scenario?
Pink and blue and light green, yellow brown it might seem FREE
But it's pricy BUT ITS PRICY but it's pricy BUT ITS PRICY
but it's pricy just like Snow - y 2 point Oh oh oh

(Paul's aria)
I'm just a Paul Broad, nobody loves me
He's just a gas man, with a hydro fantasy
To fill National Parks with a monstrosity
Easy come, easy go, Bowen let me go
Chris Bowen! Oh, he will let you go
Let him go? Chris Bowen! He will let you go
Let him go? Chris Bowen! He will let you go
He will let you go, he will he will he will let me go
Oh, oh, oh, oh oh! Oh Albanese Albanese! Albanese let me go
Dom Perrottet has a pozzie put aside for me but forgot to tell Matt Keeeeean...

(Reality check)
So you think you can stop prices going so high
letting SANTOS mine fossil gas in Narrabri?
Oh baby, you must be  fracking crazy
They'll just ship it out, they'll just ship it right out of here

Nothing really matters, anyone can see
Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me
If the sun don’t shine and the wind don’t blow...

Credits
Lyrics by Mark Henley and Santos Claws with Dean Lombard
Based on Bohemian Rhapsody lyrics and music by Freddie Mercury
Piano by Sam Cope
All other instruments, vocals, recording and mixing by Dean Lombard
Thanks Ollie Smith from Huapai, Aotearoa/NZ for the loan of the guitar and amp.

Bohemian Gaspsody

Bowenian Gaspsody

The 27 December remake/remix of the 2022 Australian energy policy parody song.
(The original version was recorded and mixed in a hurry and in trying circumstances. Mistakes were made. Some of them just added to the song's quirkiness. But I corrected a few of the most egregious ones (bad falsetto harmonies retained for your listening pleasure) and adjusted the overall mix a little, to make a new and improved version. Is it really? You be the judge.)

Lyrics
(Community perspective)
Is this the real price? Is this just fantasy?
Energy markets seem divorced from reality.
With tears in our eyes, we look to the ACCC...
I'm a consumer, we need some sympathy
Can’t you see our bills, watch them go, always high, never low
Even when the wind blows! Oh it's really shattering to me, poor me

(Bowen's lament)
Albo, we just killed the NEM
Put the spot market to bed, the gas trigger overhead
Albo, our term has just begun
And now the investors have all turned away
Albo, ooooh, We may as well cap the price 
I bet they'll all be back again tomorrow 
And carry on, carry on
Cos they're still getting fatter

(Govt perspective)
It's not too late, the time has come
There's a nation to rewire, power stations to retire
Hang on, everybody, gotta give it a go
Gotta leave the deniers behind and face the truth
Albo, ooh (how are you with the left faction)
Why not nationalise, we can’t let SEC Dan have it all

(Losing perspective)
I see a little Integrated System Plan
HydroGEN HydroGEN will you do a scenario?
Pink and blue and light green, yellow brown it might seem FREE
But it's pricy BUT ITS PRICY but it's pricy BUT ITS PRICY
but it's pricy just like Snow - y 2 point Oh oh oh

(Paul's aria)
I'm just a Paul Broad, nobody loves me
He's just a gas man, with a hydro fantasy
To fill National Parks with a monstrosity
Easy come, easy go, Bowen let me go
Chris Bowen! Oh, he will let you go
Let him go? Chris Bowen! He will let you go
Let him go? Chris Bowen! He will let you go
He will let you go, he will he will he will let me go
Oh, oh, oh, oh oh! Oh Albanese Albanese! Albanese let me go
Dom Perrottet has a pozzie put aside for me but forgot to tell Matt Keeeeean...

(Reality check)
So you think you can stop prices going so high
letting SANTOS mine fossil gas in Narrabri?
Oh baby, you must be fracking crazy
They'll just ship it out, they'll just ship it right out of here

Nothing really matters, anyone can see
Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me
If the sun don’t shine and the wind don’t blow...

Credits
Lyrics by Mark Henley and Santos Claws with Dean Lombard
Based on Bohemian Rhapsody lyrics and music by Freddie Mercury
Piano by Sam Cope
All other instruments, vocals, recording and mixing by Dean Lombard
Thanks Ollie Smith from Huapai, Aotearoa/NZ for the loan of the guitar and amp.

Bowenian Gaspsody (improved version)

Based on Summer Nights, Grease, and You're the One That I Want from the Grease Soundtrack

(Summer Nights)	
Oil production happened so fast
Making petrol, raking in cash
Pump it up from under the sea
Getting all this methane for free
What if we shared it around
Piped it all to the cities and towns
Natural natural natural gas

Tell me more, tell me more
You can have it for cheap
Sell me more, sell me more
Cook a meal, make some heat

Throw your old stuff out with the trash 
Now you're heating, and cooking with gas
And did we tell you, how is so clean
Compared with coal, if you know what I mean
Hook it up, tell your friends too
Out with the old and in with the new
Natural natural natural gas

Sell me more, sell me more
Pipe it here, truck it there
Sell me more, sell me more
Now it's everywhere


(Grease is the Word)
We got a problem can you see it right 
We got a good supply but demand is too light
But there's a market that could take it far
There's Japan and China and South Korea

Gas to the world

They want it all, they will pay the price
If we liquify it, put it on ice
And if you locals want to have some too
If you match the price we will keep some for you

But not too much (not too much, you can look but not touch)
There's a hunger needs feeding
You can have twenty percent of production
If that's not enough, there's a shortage

We make the pressure and we frack away  
Conventionality belongs to yesterday  
There is a way that we can send it so far  
We build a terminal now, then we can be who we are  

Gas to the world (to the world, to the world, to the world)
There's a hunger needs feeding
You can have twenty percent of production
If that's not enough, there's a shortage

Yeah it's a little illusion 
But it's no trouble
Causing confusion
That's what we're doing here

(You're the One That I Want)
My gas bills were multiplying.
I was losing control.
Now, the power for my frying
Is electrifying.

I'm getting off gas
I know you've got your RAB
And you need some revenue.
But I'm getting off gas 
You'd better understand.
This relationship is through
And I know exactly what I'm gonna do

I got the fuel that I want (it's electricity)
Ooh ooh ooh.
I got the fuel that I want (it's electricity)
Ooh ooh ooh.
And when I get PV, It'll be free

I ripped out my gas heating
Got some RCACs
Now when outside it's freezing
I'm toasty warm

And I got a heat pump 
To heat my water up (turn it o-o-on)
Between 10 am and 3
Though the plumber said "nup
When it's cold they stop"
I said how come they're ubiquitous in Scandinavia?

I got the fuel that I want (it's electricity)
Ooh ooh ooh.
I got the fuel that I want (it's electricity)
Ooh ooh ooh.
And when I get PV, It'll be free

Music by Jim Jacobs & Warren Casey (Summer Nights), Barry Gibb (Grease), and John Farrar (You're the One That I Want).
Lyrics by Dean Lombard and John Travoltage based on lyrics by Jim Jacobs & Warren Casey, Barry Gibb, and John Farrar.

Recording, mixing and all instruments and vocals by Dean Lombard plus special guest vocalist Julianne Holdsworth

Gas Medley

(To the tune of Elvis Presely's Heartbreak Hotel)

Well since inflation shot up
And real wages fell
My weekly spend’s got me condemned to
Affordability hell, and I need
I need bills lower baby
Well I need bills lower
I need bills lower – but they rise
 
The DMO came calling
To help me pay the rent
But heaven help me, now they’re up
By twenty two percent
So I need, I need bills lower baby
Well I need bills lower
I need bills lower – but they rise

The AER had  promised
“Better Bills” for me and you
And now it’s easier to see
How much we’re getting screwed
I just need, I need bills lower baby
Well I need bills lower
I need bills lower – but they rise

For the price of a cup of coffee
They say reliability’s up
But when I get my bill
It seems I bought the whole damn coffee shop
So I need, I need bills lower baby
Well I need bills lower
I need bills lower – but they rise

INSTRUMENTAL

Well if affordability leaves you
And you’ve nothing left to sell
Just need to shop around they say
Get on the carousel 
But I need, need a game changer baby
Need a game changer
Need a game changer, or I’ll die
 

Music by Mae Boren Axton, Tommy Durden and Elvis Presley
Lyrics by Mark Henley and Dean Lombard based on lyrics by Mae Boren Axton, Tommy Durden and Elvis Presley

Recording and mixing plus all instruments and vocals by Dean Lombard

Affordability Hell

A song about rule changes in the National Electricity Market, based on 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World' by Tears for Fears.

Welcome to the NEM
There's no turning back
Even while you sleep
We will find you
Just enough clean generation
To supply this wide brown nation
Everybody wants to change the rules

Such market design 
Fossil fuel remorse.
Help us to decide,
Should we let them
Depreciate at their leisure,
Cos gas demand won't last forever
Every network wants to change the rules

	There's NER version every month or so
	Keeping up with it only brings you down
	When you do, here's a brand new NEO
	I thought we'd almost made it
	But this liaison's complicated
	Everybody wants to change the rules
 
"How's it goin', Chris Bowen?
Is the CIS the only guess to stop our bills growin'?
Cos while the CER and DER reforms they are slowin,'
social licence for transmission might just stop the wind blowin',
and the lack of a back up plan... well it's showin'"
 
AEMC makes decisions
Sometimes with a future vision
Everybody wants to change the—
Say that you'll never, never, never, never need to
Inflate demand in the ESOO
Everybody wants to change the rules

Depreciate at your leisure,
Cos all this kit won't last forever
Everybody wants to change the rules

Lyrics by Gen Taylor, Mark Henley and Dean Lombard (based on lyrics by Roland Orzabal, Ian Stanley and Chris Hughes).
Music by Roland Orzabal, Ian Stanley and Chris Hughes.
Vocals, instruments, recording, mixing and mastering by Dean Lombard.

Everybody Wants to Change the Rules

A song about the alternative government's energy policy (in 2024!!), based on 'Blame it on the Boogie' by the Jacksons.

Well Peter's got a new plan, he's worked as hard as he can
To make it look like policy for net zero
He was walking through IKEA, when he got a great idea
Modular, in flatpacks set to go 

		Don't stake it on the sunshine
		Don't stake it on the wind-blow
		Don't stake it on the hydro
		Stake it on the atom.
		Don't stake it on the sunshine
		Don't stake it on the wind-blow
		Don't stake it on the hydro
		Stake it on the atom.

You get a small reactor, give it the x-factor
Ignore all the detractors, say it’s cheap as chips
String ’em all together, in every kind of weather
Don’t talk to us about economics

		Don't stake it on the sunshine
		Don't stake it on the wind-blow
		Don't stake it on the hydro
		Stake it on the atom.
		Don't you stake it on the sunshine
		Don't stake it on the wind-blow
		Don't stake it on the LCOE
		Stake it on the atom.

I just can't, I just can't, I just can't control spreadsheets 
I just can't, I just can't, I just can't control spreadsheets 
I just can't, I just can't, I just can't control spreadsheets 
I just can't, I just can't, I can't understand spreadsheets

	Sunshine
	Don't stake it on the wind-blow
	Don't stake it on the hydro
	Stake it on the atom.
	Don't stake it on the sunshine
	Don't stake it on the wind-blow
	Forget Snowy 2.0
	Stake it on the atom.

Nuance is complicated, and getting quite outdated
And good misinformation is the highest art
When challenge we are facing, the goal that we are chasing 
Is looking like we're doing something smart

	Don't stake it on the sunshine
	Don't stake it on the wind-blow
	Don't stake it on the hydro
	Stake it on the atom.
	Don't listen to the CSIRO
	or the hippies at AEMO
	Just listen to the Centre for
	Independent Studies

(Sunshine) Hoo! 
(Wind-blow) No 
(Hydro) Mmm 
(Atom) You just gotta
(sunshine) No-hoh-hoh 
(Wind-blow)
(Hydro) Too slow 
(Atom) Yeah get building

(Lithgow) You just gotta 
(Tarong) You just wanna 
(Loy Yang) Yeah, oh 
(Atoms!) 
Put one in Liddell (Protons)
One in Port Augusta (Neutrons)
But nothing close Dayboro (Oh no)
Oh no (atoms!)

It's a whole new Frontier (small and)
Talk about that baseload (modular)
Fill it with a payload (here's a picture)
Dreaming all night long (atoms)
We've done all the numbers (sunshine)
Got them to add up (wind-blow)
Took a bit of tweaking (hydro)
Atoms, atoms, atoms... (atoms)

Lyrics by Dean Lombard, Mark Henley and Gen Taylor  (based on lyrics by Mick Jackson, Dave Jackson and Elmar Krohn).
Music by Mick Jackson, Dave Jackson and Elmar Krohn.
Vocals, instruments, recording, mixing and mastering by Dean Lombard.

Stake it on the Atom

Years in the making, it's finally here: the NEMchat Singers' ode to the rainbow fuel.

WHAT A COLOURFUL GAS
I see lines of blue, squares of green
In a consultants report on the hydrogen scene 
And I think to myself
What a colourful gas

Some hydrogen's white, yellow or grey
And bright blessed pink or turquoise they say
And I think to myself
What a colourful gas

The colours of the pipelines
So pretty on the page
And also on the banners
By the conference centre stage
I see gas companies
Saying this is the way
They're really saying
We got bills to pay

Hydrogen that's black and also brown
They're both the same, it makes me frown
And I think to myself
What a colourful gas
Whoa, hold on… I think to myself
It's a colourless gas.

Lyrics by Mark Henley and Dean Lombard with Chappell Ruin; based on 'What a Wonderful World' by Bob Thiele and George David Weiss, as recorded by Louis Armstrong.
Music by Bob Thiele and George David Weiss.
Guitar, vocal, drums and glockenspiel by Dean Lombard.
Midi orchestra by anonymous internet person, edited by Dean Lombard.
Recorded and mastered by Dean Lombard.

What a Colourful Gas

Won't anybody think of the battery energy storage systems?

JUST A BESS
Take this green ribbon off my eyes
I'm exposed and responsive to the price
Don't you think I know exactly where I stand?
I'm in the integrated system plan.

I'm just a BESS, but not the Good Queen
Install me out of your sight
I'm just a BESS, all lithiumy
So don't you dare set me alight
Or, I'll burn until next year

The moment that I get plugged in
So many reasons that I can do my thing
You need some FCAS? I can lend a hand
And hit me up if you hit minimum demand

Yeah I'm just a BESS, sitting in the park
With a painting of a bird on my side
I'm just a BESS, pumping power in the dark
So you can all go and switch on your lights 
Yeah I'm just a BESS, you're relying on me
I'm no longer a prototype
Oh, and all my friends are here

Powered by Malcolm Roberts' tears

I'm just a BESS
I'm just a BESS in the NEM 
But only if you let me be

I'm just a BESS and there's no conspiracy
Just AS/NZS 5139
I'm just a BESS signed up to a VPP
That can call on my any old time
Yeah I'm just a BESS, no apologies
If you want kilowatts I can provide
Yeah I'm just a BESS, lucky me
Thanks for that five-minute settlement guys
Oh, you can fill me up to
Oh, you can run me down do
Oh, you can have me up to… here

Lyrics by Dean Lombard with Chappell Ruin and Mark Henley; based on 'Just a Girl' by Gwen Stefani and Tom Dumont, as recorded by No Doubt.
Music by Gwen Stefani and Tom Dumont.
Guitars, vocals, drums, bass and synths by Dean Lombard.
Recorded and mastered by Dean Lombard.

Just a BESS

Song highlighting the plight of vulnerable and disadvantaged people who are sidelined by the energy market. To the tune of Ralph McTell's Streets of London

LYRICS (Mark Henley)
Have you seen the young man
Living in his car?
He’s gone off-grid
Though he never did decide
He knows where to wash for free
And where to do his laundry
He’s no prosumer, he’s just trying to stay alive

So how can you tell me your power’s not reliable
And say that the lights wont come on?
Let me take you by the hand and
Lead you through the energy market
Show you some things that might change your mind
Have you met the renters,
In their draughty flat
They don’t own a roof
So they can get no feed-in price
As power bills rise and climate shifts
Home owners can manage the risks
With helpful government subsidies
But our poor get left behind

So how can you tell me your power’s not reliable
And say that the lights won’t come on?
Let me take you by the hand and
Lead you through the energy market
Show you something to make you change your mind
Have you seen the old folk
Who won’t switch on their heater
They know they can’t afford it
Even though it’s cold inside.
They’re not sure if they will make it
Huddled underneath their blanket
But they wont ask for help,
All they’ve still got is their pride

So how can you tell me your power’s not reliable
And say that the lights wont come on?
Let me take you by the hand and
Lead you through the energy market
Show you some thing to make you change your mind
They can still remember when
As an essential service
You could get enough energy
To meet your basic needs
With affordability
But whose responsibility
Is ending energy poverty
When the market pays no heed.

So how can you tell me your power’s not reliable
And say that the lights wont come on?
Let me take you by the hand and
Lead you through the energy market
Show you some thing to make you change your mind

Streets of NEMland

Streets Of NEMland

Song about the challenges and personalities of energy policy in Australia in 2019, with a hat-tip to the Energy Security Board. To the tune of Billy Joel's Piano Man.

Lyrics by Craig Memery and Dean Lombard. Vocals by Craig Memery. All instruments, recording, and production by Dean Lombard.

Piano Plan

Song about the reintroduction of limited price regulation (the Victorian Default Offer and the Default Market Offer) in the Australian retail energy market. To the tune of The Buggles' Video Killed the Radio Star (also drawing on the Presidents of the United States of America's version).

LYRICS (Dean Lombard and Craig Memery)
I heard you at the workshop back in ’17
Retail margins were just getting so obscene
Reregulation was no longer just a dream
Oh-ah oh-ah

They took a hit from the ACCC review
Acted surprised though there was nothing that was new
And then the Thwaites report came barreling on through
Oh-ah oh-ah
Cos the consumers
Oh-ah oh-ah
Were the big losers

VDO killed the DMO star
VDO killed the DMO star
Building blocks versus benchmarks
oh, oh-oh-oh oh

And now it seems we have abandoned Adam Smith
(Though if you read him he is different to the myth)
The tariff tracker shows the jurisdictions’ diffs

Oh-ah oh-ah
Victorian prices
Oh-ah oh-ah
Full of surprises

VDO killed the DMO star
VDO killed the DMO star
Price floors, ceilings, and ROLR
We can’t rewind we’ve gone too far
oh, oh-oh-oh oh
oh, oh-oh-oh oh
(Too far)

VDO killed the DMO star
VDO killed the DMO star
Price floors, ceilings, and ROLR
We can’t rewind we’ve gone too far
Bills so high it breaks your heart
Put all the blame on VCR…

Wish on—–—— the DMO star————
Watch out—–—— for R O L R————
VDO killed the DMO star
VDO killed the DMO star

(Vocals, all instruments, recording and production by Dean Lombard. Additional backing vocals by Craig Memery)

VDO Killed the DMO Star

VDO Killed The DMO Star

Parody song about energy policy highlights and lowlights (mostly lowlights) in 2018, written by members of NEMchat, a national network of energy consumer advocates across Australia. No one accepts any responsibility for any of the views or bias implied or expressed in any lyric, with the sole criteria being to never let the facts get in the way of what seemed to be a ‘good line’ at the time.
Lyrics by Craig Memery with Dean Lombard and Mark Henley, set to the tune of 'I Was Only 19' by John Schumann.
Lyrics:
August 2018 saw the passing of another party leader
After the false start on the NEG
Six attempted spills in as many years and it was Scott who drew the card
Malcolm donned his leather jacket and he left

Though the sun shines on our rooftops and the wind blows through the trees
and every energy contract proves the cheapest power is green
Half the coalition seems convinced that coal is clean
God help me 
Is this 1919?

From the Wentworth by-election, to the fate of Matthew Guy 
The polls have made it obvious for months.
And the school kids went on strike to say we should not be led by
morally bankrupt bought and paid for chumps

So can you tell me, ScoMo where's our climate policy?
And can we leave cross ownership to the ACCC?
And what's this rash that comes and goes... Oh it's Abbott's coterie
God help me
Their IQ’s 19

A banking royal commission, for some CEOs, their last one on eight figures
Though they hung onto their wealth
When that was over attention turned to the energy execs
Who pointed fingers at everybody else

They blamed wholesale contracts, and said network prices soared
One CEO was honest, but sadly not his board
And Andy got the boot one day, it surely did appal us
God help him
He was goin' home in August

And I can still see Andy making plans for a world without Liddell
(Though not til 2022, huh)
And I can still see Andy smirking silently behind Jay Weatherill’s shoulder
While he was tearing Josh a new one

Yet the Energy Council never mentions emissions intensity
And the stories that Chris Kenny told us never made much sense to me
I caught an hour of Question Time, the whole bunch of them are dead to me
God help me 
Bring on 2019

So can you tell me, ScoMo where's our climate policy?
Have you noticed no-one else thinks coal's fair dinkum energy?
But bad ideas they come and go, so I'll tell you what it means:
It won't matter,
From May 2019

(Guitars, bass, vocals, recording, mixing, mastering by Dean Lombard)

Bring On May 2019 (A Policy In The Light Green)

Every year a bunch of energy consumer advocates in Australia write and record parody songs about energy and broader social issues that impacted their work. This is the original poem from 2011 that started it all, recorded and released for the first time to mark the 10th anniversary of our little project.
Words by Mark Henley, based on The Night Before Christmas by Clement Clarke Moore.

‘Twas the night before Christmas. submissions were due
Energy advocates writing what everyone knew …
for struggling small residential consumers
prices moving faster than galloping reindeer.

Office parties were done just leaving flat beer
and mince pie crumbs the remnants of Christmas cheer,
wishing Kris Kringle’s gift was a submission reprieve
but alas that's wishful thinking, and naïve!

Writing for SCO, the AER and MCE
Wanting NECF lead consumer sovereignty
stooped over computers, writing to the last
remembering the ghosts of RPWG past.

And what of the New Year, what cheer will it bring?
It’s the year of the Dragon we’re ushering in .
There’s the white paper and clean energy future
With AEMC rule changes the big adventure.

For now its Christmas when you’ve hit ‘send’
that's how we know we have reached year’s end
so now it's over to the MCE
the MCE? That's merry Christmas everybody!

(Read and recorded by Mark Henley, mixed ad mastered by Dean Lombard)

The Night Before Christmas

The Night Before Xmas (BONUS track from 2011)

The COVID-19 pandemic made us all feel a bit paranoid, and brought the paranoid people out of the shadows and into the spotlight. Energy advocates, regulators, and businesses worked hard to understand and manage the impact of lockdowns on people's energy bills. And here is the song!

Lyrics by Mark Henley, with Craig Memery and Dean Lombard. Based on Paranoid by Black Sabbath.

Finished with my travelcard ’cause I’m in iso all the time
People think I'm insane because I am zooming out my mind

Trump says it’s OK, it’s from Wuhan – the wall will rectify
He has lost his mind, there's no more tweets for him to justify. 
Can you help me occupy my brain?
COVID

I don’t need someone putting a swab down my throat all the time
My designer mask fogs up my glasses, like I must be blind

Watch TV, shop online, eat and drink, the days crawl by
Heat and chill, I cannot feel and things outside are so unreal

And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to stockpile more before you have to isolate

I stand and stare at my smart meter measuring my rising use
Can the networks cope with iso demand? better pull my fuse
Stuff Rule 6.1.4, I am calling for my own PV
I’ll stick it up the energy system just you wait and see. 
Can you help me to get reverse flow?
COVID

(Guitars, bass, drum programming, vocals, recording, mixing, and mastering by Dean Lombard)

Paranoid about COVID

Paranoid About COVID

A little ditty about the interminable number of energy policy frameworks, projects, reviews, and submissions that still don't seem to get us where we're going.
Lyrics by Mark Henley, with Craig Memery and Dean Lombard. Based on Blowin' in the Wind by Bob Dylan.

How many policies does the energy system need
To meet the National Energy Objective?
And how many retail offers do we need
Before competition’s effective?
And how many breaches of the rules can we have
Before the whole market’s defective?
The answer, my friend, is always just one more – the answer is always just one more

How many years can Vales Point exist
Before it's finally retired?
Yes ’n’ how many op-eds on baseload can exist
Before that myth has expired?
Yes ’n’ how may turbines and panels must we have
Before we can just get behind ’em?
The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind – the answer is shinin’ in the sun

And how many doors must the door knockers knock
Before they are cast into the sea?
And how many people must be disconnected
Before we say “that just can’t be”?
And how any times can a Minister turn his head
Pretending he just doesn’t see?
The answer, my friend, is always just one more – the answer is always just one more

How many names can the energy council have
Before it’s finally redundant?
And how many times must a rule change be tried
Before it doesn’t favour the incumbents?
And how many submissions must an advocate write
Before she can say “well, we done it”?
The answer, my friend, is always just one more – the answer is blowin’ in the wind 

How many years can the NECF exist
Before it fulfils its intent?
And how many voluntary codes can we craft
Before we stop wasting our breath?
Yes ’n’ how many new frameworks can we devise
Before we get policy sense?
The answer my friend, is…

(Guitar, harmonica, vocals, recording, mixing, mastering by Dean Lombard)

The NEMchat Singers

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