Kid-themed songs written by a kid and an old kid.

Beckham & Bowe: From the Sublime to the Kidiculous

On a smooth sandy shore, near the blue ocean’s roar,
Stands a music cabana with a worn wooden floor,
There the bright music dwells, floating in on the swells,
People come to play and listen while they pick up some shells.
You can hear the accordion leading the chorus on,
Mixed with the mandolin, making the neighbour grin,
There’s a cowboy harmonica, weeping behind it all,
And the sweet guitar strums as the grey sailor hums.

At the Music Cabana, Music Cabana, Music Cabana na-na-na
At the Music Cabana, Music Cabana, Music Cabana na-na-na.

Hear the lilting piano played by the lovely soprano
Who sighs at the melody the fiddler begins,
There are kids having fun, beating all kinds of drums,
And the standup bassman jams like he’s all fingers and thumbs.
You can hear the accordion leading the chorus on,
Mixed with the mandolin, making the neighbour grin,
There’s a cowboy harmonica, weeping behind it all,
And the sweet guitar strums as the grey sailor hums.

At the Music Cabana, Music Cabana, Music Cabana na-na-na
At the Music Cabana, Music Cabana, Music Cabana na-na-na

There’s a boy playing banjo, that he shares with a hobo,
And a crazy cat who’s blowin’ sax like he’s strictly alone,
Then a young man from Cuba arrives with his tuba,
Gonna start a brass section with his friend on trombone.
You can hear the accordion leading the chorus on,
Mixed with the mandolin, making the neighbour grin,
There’s a cowboy harmonica, weeping behind it all,
And the sweet guitar strums as the grey sailor hums.

At the Music Cabana, Music Cabana, Music Cabana na-na-na
At the Music Cabana, Music Cabana, Music Cabana na-na-na

On a smooth sandy shore, near the blue ocean’s roar,
Stands a music cabana with a worn wooden floor,
There the bright music dwells, floating in on the swells,
People come to play and listen while they pick up some shells.
People come to play and listen while they pick up the shells.

Music Cabana

I’m sick of spats, among the brats,
And all the rug rats.
My best girl left me with a passel of kids,
And now I’m really sorry for the things that I did.
They whine and yell, and always smell,
They’re the crawlin’ definition of hell.
If I could give ‘em all a paddle I’d be back in the saddle
But they know how to keep themselves hid.

There’s Grouch & Grinz, the evil twins,
Who always eat from the garbage bins.
There’s an aura of horror all about Fatal Fred
If you stare into his beady eyes you might end up dead!
Watch Molly Meg, she’ll chomp your leg,
Then take a swig from the whiskey keg,
I don’t have enough power to endure them for an hour
So they wind up dancin’ on my head.

See Running Bare, he's on a tear,
And Chewy Louie sticks his gum in my hair.
There’s no rehabilitatin’ them, they're just anticipatin' 
That I fall into a deep despair.

Celestial Sue, is in the stew,
How she got there I haven’t a clue!
Little Viper has a diaper overflowing with poo
Yackie Jackie’s always raisin’ up a hullabaloo
These kids are bad, they torture Dad,
The way they rule the roost is just sad.   
If I could get back their Mommy with 
Some sneaky trick or money
I would shout “Yabba-dabba-dabba-doo”.  
If I could somehow get their Mommy with 
Some trick or bribe or money
I would disappear to Kalamazoo!

Spats, Brats & Rugrats

Sleep, sleep, let your memory sweep,     
All your trouble below, and the lovely times     
Flow, flow, through your heart to your toes,        
Feel your eyes as they rest, being here is the best.
  
Dream, dream down the wandering stream,
As the lillies float by, there’s no reason to   
Cry, cry at the billowing sky,
Filled with comforting cloud, where no trouble’s allowed.
  
Maybe gulls will fly past the corner of your eye,
Maybe dolphins float you on a wave,
Maybe ships will pass made of sugar and of glass,
With their sailors telling you that you are brave.
   
Calm, calm, is the sound of the song,       
Drifting into your ears and removing your  
Fears; tears have all melted away,  
With the moon overhead, it’s so perfect in bed.

Maybe green hills high will escort you to the sky,
Maybe songbirds hover high above,
Maybe angel wings will be heard among the things,
That whisper to you that you're always loved.
   
Calm, calm, is the sound of the song,     
Drifting into your ears and removing your   
Fears; tears have all melted away,
With the moon overhead, it’s so perfect in bed.

Bedtime

Popeye the Sailor meets Gilbert & Sullivan in a critter-cottage context. Written for kids but can be enjoyed by the young at heart.

(Sittin’ on the) Bottom of the Bay

I’m sittin' on a sunken log with stuff all green and gooey
As the bubbles from my lips and nose are risin’ all around me
And I look up at the surface where it seems all bright and shimmery
I’m sittin’ on the bottom of the bay.

Fish are swimmin’ ‘round me ‘cause the people haven’t caught ‘em
There are pointy branches stickin’ from the sandy muddy bottom
It will all be filled with gucky leaves around the end of autumn
And I’m sittin’ on the bottom of the bay.

Kids are skippin’ pebbles and they’re sinkin’ on my head
The ducks are swimming by me while they try to grab the bread
The whole merganser family appears to be well-fed
While I’m sittin’ on the bottom of the bay.

Bubbles floating high, pebbles falling low,
Bubbles floating high, everything is flow, flow flow,
Bubbles floating high, bread is falling low,
Bubbles floating high, everything is flow, flow flow flow, flow.

Instrumental

A big fat sunfish with a belly orange and yellow
Brings a black bass pal who is such a friendly fellow
With a black tipped tail and big eyes that look like jello
As I’m sittin’ on the bottom of the bay

A fishin’ lure sparkles as it wiggles down beside us
But the clever fishies say that it will never go inside us
I attach it to a boot or a tire or other nasty prizes
While I’m sittin’ on the bottom of the bay.

Bubbles floating high, pebbles falling low,
Bubbles floating high, everything is flow, flow flow
Bubbles floating high, pebbles falling low,
Bubbles floating high, everything is flow, flow flow flow, flow.

Instrumental 

Water bugs are spinnin’ and collidin’ with each other
There’s an old snappin’ turtle and he treats me like a brother
And I’m tickled by some water plants of one kind or another
As I’m sittin’ on the bottom of the bay.

Lilly pads are growin’ up and floatin’ on the top
A frog jumps in the water with a loud ker-plop,
It’s so fun and fascinating that I never want to stop
Sittin’ here, on the bottom of the bay.

Bubbles floating high, pebbles falling low,
Bubbles floating high, everything is flow, flow flow
Bubbles floating high, pebbles falling low,
Bubbles floating high, everything is flow, flow flow flow, flow.

Instrumental to end.

(Sittin' on the) Bottom Of The Bay

Sacha’s Back - lyrics:

Poor little guy you've been so ill
But now you've taken all your pills,
Settled on my lap, recoverin',
I feel the quiver of your dreams, a-hoverin' by.

The trouble shadow's gone away
It has some other plans to lay,
Our time for fun's, comin' on,
Rise with the sun, and come along too.

Steppin' out on the town,
Paddin' the sidewalk, usin' your proud walk,
Cruisin' fluffy white femmes,
You never have to beg, just lift your leg.

Instrum. 

Who’s the kid that’s chasin’ you?
I know his leg looks good to chew,
You’re givin’ him some major attitude,
Figurin’ his fingers are finger food.

Sniffin’ all over town,
Rejecting the cuddles, just makin’ more puddles,
Shakin’ your slobber around,
The pugs that sniff your bum know that you could be fun.

Instrum. 

Back at home it’s time to snooze
So many corners to peruse,
Settlin’ on my lap, recoverin’,
I feel the quiver of your dreams, a-hoverin’ by.
I feel the quiver of your dreams, a-hoverin’ by.

Beckham & Bowe: From the Sublime to the Kidiculous

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